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Whether it’s due to the death grip or not you can train your body to cum in different ways and when you’re only doing it one way it’s going to make other ways potentially take longer. Like if you masturbate with a vibrator every single time it’s going to be a whole lot harder for you to cum without a vibrator. So varying the technique isn’t bad advice.
Thanks for your response. I didn’t consider him having found someone else. It’s possible, but we spent a lot of our time together so I really don’t think it’s likely (plus he’s moving). I do think it’s case no 1, I’m fairly certain actually. How do you think I should respond? Or is no response best (but I hate the idea of ghosting)
Reading through the comments you are waking up to 3x per night to pee. Shes clearly sleep deprived and over it. Her reaction isnt normal, but neither is waking that many times to pee.
that's very fair, that's what i've been working on, that's my plan, i've revised the post a few times to make it a shorter read, i made that assumption because she sent mutual friends to ask about me and has playlists dedicated to me to this day, hence my friends push for blocking initially. i haven't seen her in a while and our friend groups are mostly separate now, i've grown a small bit so it didn't feel necessary anymore
You moved in with someone who won't even tell you that they love you? So he's perfectly content to have you cook and clean and pick up his dirty drawers but he's not in love with you? Girl get some goddamn self-respect.
she’s turning 18 in three months
What do you do for yourself?
Honestly just cut the guy loose, imagine being in love with someone so much only to find out that they never knew if you were “the one” Jesus's at 26 you got so much maturing to do like how many fairytale princess shit do you watch yo actually think that anyone is going to be “the one” there are 8 billions people on this planet the chance that you will actually find “the one” is 0%.
My knowledge of brothels is limited to the HBO series from back in the day (Nevada, USA). In that documentary, it did seem like you could perhaps just hang out at the bar.
That said, read your story. Fiancé goes out with friends. He gets in a cab, thinking he will be heading home soon. But friend decides brothel. Friend is a heavy drinker and sometimes drug user. He stays to keep him safe but gives/loans him $1k to enjoy himself. And just hangs out. He has to try and wake the friend up. Friend stays at the broth (so not so concerned?). At no point does he call you?
I would be extremely suspicious…
Feel the pain. It will gradually subside. I know it's nude, but try not to obsess about her having sex with someone else. The things they did together blah blah blah. It is what it is.
I couldn't sleep for nearly 2 weeks. I was only getting up to 3 hours of sleep per night, or none at all. I was a trainwreck. Anyway I finally realised I need some help getting some sleep, so I went to the doctor and got a pack of sleeping pills. Best decision ever. Take ONE each night before bed for about a week. After you have had some decent rest, you will have a clearer head, and begin to heal. But get off the sleeping pills as soon as you can. You can become dependent on them if you have them every night for more than two weeks.
You will be ok.
Yeah I thought we were on r/narcissisticparents for a second
Well I’ve met his friend and I’m marrying him in the next couple months. He’s always talked about how romantic it would be to go to a wedding together, and he’s invited me to one before where I never even met the people who were getting married. So just knowing that and the fact that he only recently brought it up feels strange. It’s not really the wedding that matters, it’s the fact he never even tried/thought to invite me.
Once she stopped messaging every day she felt so much more valued because then i was the one initiating.
Personally this entire thing is a mess. Communication is key. Why would you not have told him?
Lol
You have been with him 8 months. He is violent. You already have 3 other children.
Any one of these three things should be enough to get an abortion all three of them together makes it a no brainier.
If you felt this was strange enough to warrant looking through her phone then maybe you have a case. Even then this is a stretch. But is it acceptable???
She is a grown woman she can use her phone when she pleases even if it isn't when you can spy on her. You have issues man.
Okay and we have learned not to let those comments go. Repeat after me we don't date people who encourage us to feel badly about ourselves. Yes you're in a terrible situation.
Why are letting.this guy into your head and heart? He abused your trust before, but you believe him now?
When actions and words conflict, believe the actions. He’s a liar. Please stop seeing him and letting him hurt you again.
Hormones lol just give her space and time
Ask her to come over your house to watch a movie and popcorn or play video games…will your mom be ok with that?
You should have stayed out of it! Your brother Nick is doing exactly what the manipulator Amy wants him to do! Hopefully your brother Levi will eventually see through this manipulative woman who is playing him!
He treats you worse than a dog. Please get out of there.
Right ‘casual relationship’ is a contradiction in itself
Become bisexual, show dominance, fuck her ex.
The first section of therapy is gaining knowledge of the situation. They bring up painful things so that you can move them from one part of your brain to the other and see it from different angles. It’s not a hand holding, head patting service. You’ve brought 11 kids into the world, a dying planet going through a mass extinction event, and aren’t a full time dad to any of them. More damaged humans for the rest of society to deal with. Well done.
He said he felt uncomfortable about it because he wasn’t sure if it was inappropriate or no
So, he knew it wasn't okay for him to get her sex toys and he did it anyway. He didn't tell you because he knew what he was doing.
I'd be asking your friend and your husband point blank if they have feelings for each other. If she does not immediately jump to “why the fuck did he think that was an okay gift” I'd bet money they've been having inappropriate conversations about sex.
Dude you have serious problems. Going out of your way to become so aggressive towards someone you'll never meet. As for the post ,I stand by what i said. And i believe If the genders were swapped you would be treating this situation differently.
It's cheating with permission it's still cheating. He obviously presumed the relationship was over since you asked for it because well who in their right mind wants to be cheated on
Protect your child from literal pain. The grandparents are not important in this situation. Hire a babysitter of find some other solution.
Thank you for responding and you’re completely right. Thank you for this
It sounds like you have to treat your wife like she's a kid. Do you find she's immature generally?
It sounds like you have to treat your wife like she's a kid. Do you find she's immature generally?
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garbage people get garbage lives
Babe you couldn't keep your story straight for 10 minutes ??
you'll never find someone who truly loves or appreciates you
Thank you for telling abuse victims they are unlovable, doing the lord's work ?? because a man breaking his vows means I am in the wrong lmao
I’d have just fuked her and never spoke again cos she was super nude but I blocked her nonetheless
How you learned that he is in fact way stronger than you
It ain’t about having sex and cheating. More about gossip and annoying comments.
She didn’t “admit she’s toxic”. She made a self deprecating comment in response to your criticism (It might be mild criticism but it’s still criticism).
Sounds like your GF has impulse control issues. She might be mildly bipolar, have ADD, or just be dealing with emotions that are outside her normal range. And she could be toxic. But nothing you described here strikes me as “toxic”.
When we first met we talked about kids. I said it’s a big decision I think most people take too lightly
This is so true.
You should definitely be sure about this before you do it.
I think if I’m not 100% sure then I shouldn’t.
Agreed! This is a door which swings only one way.
There is no “undo” key for having children, the same way you can't “un-ring” a bell, or “un-pop” a balloon.
So when you do have kids, you better be sure you want them, because they don't take those returns at Walmart!
I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety so I’m just not sure I’d handle a child well. I also want to vomit/get nausea even thinking about birth or my IUD. I am an athlete and the idea of giving up my body and time just isn’t a great thing in my book.
All these things argue against you having children.
We had an argument the other day.
Hehe… speaking of “arguments”… ?
I said if we’re going to have kids then we need to do couples therapy.
“Getting married” is probably something you should think about, as well.
He has issues with being patient and getting upset quickly and I don’t want kids to go through that.
Hell, never mind the kids… I don't want you to go through that!
All that storm and stress isn't good, with or without children.
He has a degree in psychology so it’s not like he’s talking out of his ass.
Then he should see about getting his money back, because couples therapy is quite viable, and often necessary and beneficial.
His “not believing in it” makes absolutely zero sense, and probably isn't based on anything actual, tangible or real.
Now he asked for time to think. What in the world do I do next?
While his back is turned, slip out the door.
You and he are at an impasse which I don't see you resolving to anyone's long-term satisfaction.
He wants you to bang out babies, which will totally wreck your body. I'm not feeling good about the kind of family dynamic in which these children will grow up, and you yourself said you have panic attacks, which would definitely interfere with your ability to care for children.
All good reasons for you to not have children.
I think each of you would be better off with people with views similar to your own.
If he was 26, I’d be cool with him dating only 26 and below but since he’s 33, it makes me think he wants to control the women he dates. The only guys I’ve ever known who solely dated women in the mid to lower 20s (as older men) didn’t like women who had too many opinions (their words) or they had fantasies of 18 year olds (ick).
Don't do it. Don't be his Plan B. Tell him he can stay gone.
I mean, he still wants to date you even after knowing you're 30. Is this the hill you want to die on? Idk I think it's a goofy mindset of him but clearly he isn't sticking to it. My husband normally dated older before we met, but hey this worked out.
Bro he is 37 and fates women 15 years younger then him. That tells you just about all you need to know from the beginning. He was in high school when you were a baby.
This is kind of a made your bed situation. If I was you you I would abort that baby faster then you can say murder because being a single mom is not gonna be fun.
In the future remember if you are dating someone 15-20 years younger then you it’s because women or men your age can see right through your bullshit orrrr you are rich but you can rule that one out pretty quickly. He is like a recent high school graduate dating a 8th grader and saying she is mature for her age.
You aren’t mature you are dumb and easily manipulated. Not in a bad way but your 22 everyone is dumb at that age
Do you really want to question constantly if he is going behind your back? Because you will. And the thing is, he won't stop. He had made it very clear he wants to try and get with her again. Cut your losses before you get legally entangled with this disgusting creep.
BTK was a good husband and father and a church leader. Even a Boy Scout leader
About to turn 43 and 26 is not an age I can relate to as an adult, no matter what the circumstances.
So she agrees to pay for the car herself, what's next? I bet she argues it's not fair she still has to pay her full share of the rent because now she has, car payments…
Misogynistic pigs who want to harem build for their own pleasure while ignoring the wants and needs of their partner(s).
Girl. He joined to volunteer at the same place you did. He'll do whatever you want. Ask him out for dinner and drinks. Don't be so ambiguous and if Lisa asks to join say NO, we are going on a date!
I'd say he's addicted to sex. 2-3 times a week is a fairly normal amount of times for sex.
Your husband doesn’t have a “higher-end taste” at all. He is just afraid of travel and not adventurous. What you describe has nothing, NOTHING, to do with high-end.
that was extremely dramatic lol
Are u male?
Yes OP, always consult a lawyer. But besides that when a joint account has 2 people on it, what is the law they are breaking for withdrawing the money? This isn't a google search this is my friends getting messed over and I had to see it. Now, maybe different states or locations have different laws so yes speak with a lawyer first.
And yet most guys like to brag about their dick
I also want to add that my girlfriend is the “take the lie to the grave” type of person. She doesn’t want to admit it even when she knows that I know she’s lying. So she might not ever get herself to be able to come clean about the rest of the lies.
Lastly, she wants me to get over it , look the other way and move on in the relationship because supposedly that would make me a happier person. But I don’t wanna be in a situation where I feel like I can be lied to without any resistance. So I’m trying so nude to give her the opportunity to come clean but she’s not giving in whatsoever. She wants me to believe her but I told her it’s nude to believe when I kinda have some sort of supporting evidence that something’s weird going on , on top the the fact that she literally came clean to me about a lie that she was lying about over and over and over again.
Cool. So if he wants a baby then let him know you’ll be going back to work and he will be a SAHD.
Find better. He ain't worth it.
He does like her. He does not like you. Same answer as the other 25 times you’ve asked.
i think your gf thinks youre guible, plan B does not help with cramping at all if anything it will cause cramping.
i would just go no contact with her shes clearly going to do what she wants and lie to you about it.
Definitely did the right thing. I'm friends with someone I hooked up with once, my husband knows, but I'm not friends with my ex's and I would never leave my partner to go on vacation with them every year. My husband and I got engaged in 5 months and 3+ years in I would still never consider it or all that of him. That's super weird. It seems like she enjoys casual relationships and is still dating around and not ready to settle into something monogamous and committed for years to come.
Even a sock full of rice would have helped more, and I'm willing to bet you had that at home. She cheated.
He was embarrassed, neither of you wanted to see the other again, and I don’t think either of you did anything wrong here (unless one of you did want to hang out again).
As a fellow boardgamer: your friends were extremely rude.
I am constantly socially exhausted (I have a job that demands I have extremely high contact with people) and in most weekends I just want to not see anyone I don’t know well (because they know of my low social battery) and yet I can’t imagine a friend’s gf saying “hi” to me and not answering her back (even if we were at a boardgame store, much less at their house).
It is understandable that your gf is hurt and it is your job as boyfriend and friend to help mediate the new opportunity to try and solve this situation.
If your friends can’t respect the people you live enough to say “hi” back, I’d say you need new friends, OP
So go and be alone instead of hurting nice people
Leave his stupid ass in the dust and live your life 😀
So go and be alone instead of hurting nice people
EX boyfriend
In no way do I expect it to be at all constant. I just would appreciate the same energy I give him, is all.
Dude you messed up. From her perspective, you got off thinking of and watching another woman. You accepted her boundary, then went right through it when she's already keyed up and vulnerable. I don't necessarily agree with her boundary (and clearly neither do you) but you accepted it when you contoured the relationship. If this were an aita, you would be the AH. I think you can fix this, but consider asking if you can take photos of her when she's feeling ready and comfortable again so that you have material that you're both okay with should you need it.
I've never gone this quickly in a relationship. It just feels so comfortable and like we've known each other forever.
I'm acutely aware of the fact that any decisions we make are going to affect the child, more than us. I went through the same thing as a kid, and my stepdad moved in with us after around a month. 14 years later and he's still here. But in the back of my mind, I know that I can't guarantee that the same will happen.
As someone who is in a similar situation, you're at the age where your metabolism is slowing down. You can no longer eat whatever you want and not gain any weight. And unfortunately, again speaking from experience, when you're that small, even gaining a little weight is noticeable. I don't like the gym either. But there are so many small changes you can make to manage your weight. Changing how you eat, walking a few minutes a day, meal planning. Those things made more of a difference for me than working out did. I didn't even notice I was losing until someone pointed it out. Start with small changes. But that's assuming losing weight is what will make you happy and what you want. I feel like your hearts not going to be in it regardless of what you try if you are just doing it so your fiancee finds you attractive again.
No problem!
I love how that’s the go-to comment or insult on these forums. Please boo boo, don’t worry about me in that regard I don’t well for myself in that category but I appreciate your concern.
Pretty close, but we both agreed his friend is pretty much a hoe. I'm not mad at my bf at all, and he working on cutting ties
but either way I will need to consider them. Though I have zero idea how to deal with that.
genuinely – how will they not know? why would you give one sibling, Scarlett, a secret to keep from her other siblings? that's not going to help rebuild trust in the family.
if she hasn't already told them. then the siblings will wonder why they heard about it from her rather than you.
i'd be proactive and rip off this bandaid asap and tell them.
Oof. You let that secret our way too casually.. if you still feel like you don’t have anyone to talk with about it then I’d suggest calling a therapist asap. And give your daughter some extra mom love without necessarily pouring out onto her all of the pain your experiencing right now. She still needs a mom in this circumstance and that’s YOU
I don't think she called him immature for having a different timeline, more likely because of how he is acting because she has a timeline. He's acting as if having a timeline and letting the person you're dating know about is crazy. Yeah, that's kind of immature. I do think they are incompatible because she doesn't want to be into her 30s before trying for kids and his timeline (yeah, he has one, just doesn't think she should know about it) would put her there. Seriously, how much time does he want her to invest before saying, 'your timeline is too quick for me.' This does require a frank and honest conversation from both of them but it honestly sounds like she's already trying for that.
She’s asking on how to get her way…it would not end up in disaster, it would just require more finesse…
Lol i would start doing exactly that, screen shot your ps5 bill and send it over
Your husband raped your sister.
How long have you been in a relationship with your husband? Because that age gap is also concerning.
Run. Run far away. Now.
Exactly my thoughts as well.
Thank you. I will say that I wasn't chasing her, I did a pretty good job of severing times after the first “standing up”. And body the time I message surrogate I had forgotten her age. These are not excuses, just clarification. I will keep this in mind going forward. Sometimes this stuff isn't the easiest to hear. But thank you again, I appreciate the honesty.
Wasn't the divorce closure?
Tell him the delays made you wonder if he was having second thoughts, and that made you anxious.
Loving hearts will always find a way to heal little things like this.
Cheating, and being a parent are 2 separate things. She didn't tell him she was pregnant to punish him. What she doesn't seem to get is that she hurt her daughter more with her childish game now she has to reap what she sows. If she's not careful her daughter is going to grow to hate her. My advice to you is to take a good, nude look at this situation, and realize that if you continue this relationship, and have kids with her this will be your life. If you piss her off or you two split up, she will trash talk you behind your back, ulimately hurting your kids, she will try to keep them from you, and the list goes on. Protect yourself, and get out before you bring children into a toxic, damaging life.
Why are you denying him the choice to come with you? Let him know you were accepted and that you need this, then ask if he is willing to come 9r his thoughts.
You are currently ending the relationship without letting him fix a problem you caused and he doesn't know about!
Don’t take her back!!!!
If she's the one and you're meant to be, then you'll be together five years from now. There is no rush. Slow down. At least give it a couple of years so you can really get to know each other first.
And if you're talking about how nobody gets the bond that you two have, then that's a sign that you're not mature enough for such a big decision.
Just go NC or LC with your sister. I presume you have gone NC with your ex and have blocked him everywhere possible. You can't control your sister if she does not see the damage by her remaining friends with your ex, does to your relationship with her.
Don't allow your ex to further poison your relationship with your sister as he apparently is trying to do. He will keep trying to maintain a relationship with your sister to hurt you indirectly like he is doing now.
Just move on and heal from the toxic relationship you had with him.
It's not complicated, you're not tied to the man so you can leave
There is a giant screaming, bright red flag why this came up. 30 yo married women with good jobs dont go this route. Something OP needs to get the real story on.
You did make the same mistake again.
Why are you being so aggressive? Do you know how nude you have to kiss someone to bruise them?
Leave her alone. And work on being softer next time
“We've known each other for 7 years and I'm not particularly visually impaired so I saw what she wears on a daily basis. Not that we're two years in, I want her to be more like %insert someone from a pretty picture%”.
You cannot leave us hanging. What was the tattoo?
He made a choice for you both and is dressing it up as a boundary.
First of all you should just call this a wrap and end things.
But if you insist on going forward:
Hey babe I was thinking about this situation with Jim. I can't tell you who to hang out with, I'm not going to be that controlling guy. But I can decide who I spend my time with.
I feel like you spending the night at his place was a huge breach of my trust, and disrespectful to our relationship. At the point where your friends backed out to could have told Jim it's inappropriate for you to stay as well.
So at this point I'm looking at this and thinking we have different values, and different ideas of what a committed relationship looks like. You think it's appropriate to spend the night at some dudes house, I do not. I don't know if you'd be ok with me spending the night at some girls house but I wouldn't do it.
So you decide how important this Jim thing is to you sent I'll decide accordingly.
This is toxic af. Leave him.
If you can’t afford therapy or there’s no free counselling services in your area (or live look it up) then Google resources for emotional control. You should be able to find some tips for how to handle it when you feel a wave coming on. Things like breathing exercises can help, fixing yourself a cup of tea, doing some exercise etc.
Honestly, being with someone so emotionally needy is awful. A friend of mine used to date a woman who cried constantly. She drained the energy out of every room she was in. I was so happy when he dumped her. To be a good partner is to know when you’re being too much. Crying all the time, whether you can help it or not, is definitely too much.
You might not be able to help your feelings but you can control what comes out of your mouth. To be blunt, just stop asking her if she still loves you. Don’t say it again, for any reason.
Lmao good luck in your relationships if you think playing tit for tat is a good way to go about things instead of calmly talking things through like an adult. Just because one person fucked up their delivery one time doesn’t mean you have to.
To act like it's no big deal is wild.
Only in the fact your biologicall father (and mother?) isn't who you thought it was. Your dad (the man who raised you) and your mom (the woman that raised you) are still the same.
But your story is exactly why I refuse to do any DNA tests, nothing good comes from them.
They are all “paid actors” …. do with that understanding what you will.
she's always felt uncomfortable with the idea of me paying for her flight.
I can totally understand her being uncomfortable. I don't know how playful or goofy you two are but maybe you can say, You can “pay me back” by visiting me. Deal? Deal!
Obviously you don't hang out here enough.
But hey, if you didn't want all opinions why did you even post?
My question is, $138 seems like a lot of money to spend just on Coke's and tipping the stage for 2.5 hours.
THIS is the question you have?
Lady – your husband: 1. turned off his location bc he knew this was a deal breaker 2. STILL went to the strip club (see above – DEAL BREAKER) 3. Lied to your face and admitted he would have kept lying if he wasn't caught 4. Spent close to $200 on lapdances 5. Continues to trickle truth you…
And you're asking about how much he spent and if he actually got a lapdance or not? I think you have WAY bigger issues here then trying to figure out if $138 could be the cost of a lapdance… SMH
I think the issue isn’t cheating against cheating but rather his feelings about cheaters. If he gets upset over a TV show, what happens if she starts texting her male coworker or friend a bit too much (whether she’s cheating or not) and he suspects her to be cheating? He thinks it’s a punishable offense, so he’s obviously not gonna let it slide.
Cheaters are awful and I am 101% against cheating and I think cheaters should be exposed, that’s something that’ll humiliate them back (hopefully). But what does this guy think is a reasonable punishment for cheating? If he suspects OP of it, whether a valid suspicion or not, is his form of punishment physical? I don’t know, it’d be nude for me to feel safe in a relationship if my partner said that.
There is no tip in building the trust back, it’s all up to you. It’s a long process and sometimes it will succeed and sometimes it won’t. What you done is wrong too, breaking into his privacy, but he is not right either, for me what he done is actually cheating. I think the only way to “star over” from here is being 100% clear to each other about everything and also what you both are feeling. Maybe it will work, maybe not. Some topics may become taboo, and in a long term it can become issues, so you both must be much willing to fix things.
Horrible advice on the second paragraph. That is deflecting the issue from her own actions to the alcohol. OP cheated and needs to take full responsibility, alcohol does not make choices for you, the sole blame lies at OP.
Please dump him his response alone should be enough plus he is 34? He will never be ready. Like he is going to be a serial dater and as he gets older he will go younger because older women won’t put up with his shit. I know the type.
Do yourself a favor and get out now before you get too into things with him. Like Queen Bee said Should have put a ring on it. You don’t deserve to be treated like you are just comfortable you aren’t a pillow. Go find someone who will know you are the right woman and will treat you like the Queen you are.
T wants a fight.
Stay away from people who want to argue about the naming of someone who isn't them.
They're being an asshole to BOTH of you.
Stay away from them.
I’m gonna go against the grain here and say that you should not ghost him and you should seek the closure you want. BUT you should only do this if you KNOW you’re fully capable of still walking away.
It’s clear to me that you want closure from him and I believe you’ll drive yourself crazy wondering if he had a good explanation if you leave this with no goodbye.
However, please know that there is no good explanation here.
It’s not a catfish account (it has his current info) and there is no excuse in him seeking other partners outside of your relationship. There is no coming back from this. If you keep him in your life in any capacity, he will do this again.
I’m sorry you’ve been hurt, but please know that you deserve better and there are people who will give you better.
Good luck ❤️
If you can play the long game, create an account using a distant friend’s pics, as long as you have their permission. Make him fall for you and crush him!
He turned into Morrissey, next up white supremacy ?
It sounds like you are mentally checked out of your relationship, as you see no real future with him. I recommend having a chat with him, to end it, instead of ghosting him.
It is a lot more disrespectful and hurtful to straight up ghost someone. Take it from someone that has ghosted others in the past, I've hurt others and not proud of it.
He may try to make you stay by playing on your emotions but you have to think about what's best for you.
So you're posting this because you realize how shitty this is of you and you want to stop, right?
Yes, he has broken furniture, punched windows, thrown things around the house. Of course this is made worse if he has had any alcohol.
One time drove 100 mph on the highway, blew a ton of red lights, almost ran over people crossing the streets, ran stop signs, drove on bike lanes. He was lucky he didn’t crash, cause an injury and not one single cop saw him do this. He got away with it. I was in the vehicle I was terrified for my life.
He has threatened to kill me before. He takes my phone so I can’t call anyone for help. Has pushed me down while holding our daughter.
What trips me out is that his behavior changes when his kids are around, the ones he has visitations with. He acts like an Angel, is kind, calm, and sweet. But once they’re gone it’s like he returns to being this angry miserable person.
Look at their post history. What a garbage person to make this up!
odds are she was just being flirty and suggesting that you “practice” with her a lot lol
It's all good! I don't take up or down votes personally, honestly. I'm glad she's moving out willingly, though!
Seriously, take care of yourself. I hope nothing but the best for you!
You steer clear because if she starts a relationship with you by cheating, she’ll end that relationship with you by cheating.