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What if the algorithm tried to bring contrast in, and pair people with differing perspectives, but were compatible based on relationship science?
This is a little worrying – it does depend on your personality types – if you are both extreme introverts then this would be quite normal ! However being interested in what your partner has to say is important and there are a million different topic’s of conversation -it seems very early in your relationship for conversation to have dried up . Just talking about who will do the dishes at home is not really conversation . I feel relationships need both physical and emotional intimacy to sustain them . If you feel this is lacking I suggest you try and talk about this with your partner before this develops into a pattern.
Ya that's a good way. I would like to confront the last 2 times that she's canceled because maybe it'll spark a conversation on how I feel about it or something that she may be withholding what do you think?
Unfortunately its something most people don't understand until they're older. This isn't about him being too old to chase his dreams/what he wants. When you're closer to 30 you're gonna look at 21/22 year old's and generally you won't have much in common with them. I need to emphasize generally.
I'm not telling you what to do. I'm just telling you my advice is its dumb to move in with him like that especially when you have feelings like this. It makes the lines more blurry and you're clearly already having some problems.
If you want him go for it. These are generally just things to consider.
Again there you go putting him on a pedastal. You don't know what he's like in a relationship especially because he's never been in one!
What if he's more abusive than your ex's when you start dating? You won't know until you start dating although generally it doesn't sound like that's the case from your post but it does happen.
If you want him, be direct with him. You both take risks
Oof, okay there are two major things to unpack here.
One, the “prank.” Drawing up divorce papers is not a prank and I don't know who on earth would actually find that funny. Was this a prank orchestrated by your sister or your husband or both together? If it was just your sister, she needs a SERIOUS talk about how unacceptable this was. Yes she's a teenager but she's growing into adulthood and needs to understand the consequences of her actions. If it was your husband…I don't know if this would be enough for me to leave right away, but I would certainly take some time on my own to think. If he did this to you, it was deeply cruel.
Second, your reaction. The fact that divorce papers had you asking for a gun immediately and seriously is incredibly concerning. Do you have a therapist? What's your mental health history? I'm really worried for you if you have no reason to live outside of your husband. I think that it is vital for you to reach out to a therapist and get some support.
Don't worry about what your family thought of your reaction right now. That is the lowest matter of importance on the list of urgent things to address.
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This is what stood out to me.
I fully believe my wife is out of my league. She is the most amazing woman I’ve ever met and I strive to live up to her. Even though we are equal partners in everything, I see her as a goddess among humans, and I’m grateful to be in her presence.
This dude sucks.
Divorce?
I dunno, it’s very hot to come back from what he said, it’s really fucked up.
Therapy? Absofukinglutely
Yeah, the advice here is insane. “Never criticize your partner ever, just tell them they're a beautiful perfect unicorn!” No one's perfect. Acting like a Care Bear 24/7 isn't just dishonest, it's exhausting.
You’re delusional to think this is normal. Please go look up the Jacob Hoggard trial. This is quite literally a repeat
Furthermore, OP, you will never “need” children. This is 2023, not 1823. You do not need a large brood to run the family farm. No one “needs” children. Many people want them, which is wonderful. Some people want them very much. But it sounds like your BF and his family are mistaking their “want” for a “need” and pushing it on you. You really deserve better.
Cutting her off completely and moving on is the best choice and hurts less. I don’t see anything positive coming out of your second option. It will get easier and you will move on ❤️
You should have asked her why hes a 10/10 then to her? Anyways, she’s psycho but you should have never contacted her after. Dont do it again op
Your sister is lucky to have you as a brother.
So whayt, you were supposed to leave your sitter in a soiled diaper for hours until your parents came home? That's beyond cruel, and unhealthy. When it comes to the disabled there are things that must be done, including changing diapers, and dealing with periods. Would she feel the same way if your sister was a baby? You know what, it doesn't matter. The sicko is your girlfriend. Actually I hope ex girlfriend because she sounds like a disgusting person to me if she turned taking care of another person's needs into something sexual. Kick her butt to the curb because you deserve better.
yes, but none of that is the case here. What is more likely, is the high weight causes risk for pregnancy, risk for illness, risk for accident etc. You wildly went out of line shaming OP who does not come off as someone who is shallow. Quite the opposite. OP comes off as someone who is vulnerable and honest and seeking help. OP is asking out of concern to try to save his relationship.
A month? Those are rookie numbers.
It's is desert planet over here, endless blowing sand for miles and miles. No oasis. I envy your world.
Yes. Is he using you to bait her? Is he using you. Red flag. If he was that into you, he wouldn’t follow her.
Why not tell your oldest brother and let him deal with it? It’s really an issue between them.
My, god, some guys are dense.
Yeah, it’s just weird to me especially at times when we had plans soon and I need to confirm the plans, I don’t want to have to wait til the day of to even know if the plans are still happening or where we’re going or what.
OP, I feel like you’d get more love and reciprocated love from a pet than you would this boyfriend from your comments.
Bro you're digging through the trash that's fucking weird.
I mean, we already came to the agreement that when we move in together into a condo, she can have a room for all her Disney crap. Call it our Disney room, I’ll give him a man cave for that lol. However, it’s not going to be a Disney dream house not putting up with that.
There is no way I would touch a man again who didn’t respect my health and the effort I’d made, risking my own biology and mental health, so he could nut inside me.
What a child he’s being. If he’d rather grate his dick than respect your health, he can go do that.
His comment was fine, your apology comment is the weird one.
Also I just don’t want to personally speak on the effectiveness for a person with allergies this severe. My cat tolerated the waterless shampoo (TropiClean) but I don’t know exactly how effective it was at reducing the dander
Different strokes for different folks I suppose…
OP if someone came to you and told you this story, would you tell them to stay and work it out? Or would you tell them to run as fast as they can from this abusive man? Because this entire story was just highlighting red flag after red flag
That sounds tiring if you keep having to give effort.
Are you happy spending every weekend with her?
Or is they part of the space issue?
He’s a cheapskate and you are bankrolling the entire relationship. What does he even do for you? If you make the huge mistake of marrying this man and even huger mistake of having kids with him, you will still be bankrolling the entire relationship plus have to take care of the house and kids. Do you really want that for yourself? You’re not trying to “control his money”. He’s just a cheap ass. I wouldn’t waste anymore time on a man who thinks so little of you. You can find and deserve a thousand times better then this loser.
He’s a cheapskate and you are bankrolling the entire relationship. What does he even do for you? If you make the huge mistake of marrying this man and even huger mistake of having kids with him, you will still be bankrolling the entire relationship plus have to take care of the house and kids. Do you really want that for yourself? You’re not trying to “control his money”. He’s just a cheap ass. I wouldn’t waste anymore time on a man who thinks so little of you. You can find and deserve a thousand times better then this loser.
I think you reacted fine. You’ve been dating for almost 8 months how can you “forget” something like that? I think their reaction was telling. They felt obligated to ask if you’re mad which probably means they want you to have a visual response to gauge how much they have to apologize. You’re response was pretty calm and collected (even though you took waaaaay too much responsibility) “they were hurt” yea well what about you? You were hurt. You’re allowed to hurt. You shouldn’t not hurt just to make someone feel better. The fact they didn’t even let you hurt is the biggest red flag.
You can teach your son humility even if you are financially comfortable (in fact, it is all the more important to do so the richer one is). However, I would definitely recommend investigating the true breakdown of your husbands finances, the safeguards, your outgoings and the potential financial expectations of this cousin (what is her cost of living? Etc). It is very important for you to both have a real understanding and open communication about the financial side of this decision because it will impact on everyone's future's.
It is easy to be charitable when you have plenty of money to give away, but the reality of poverty or strained finances can be very corrosive to even the best of relationships (in fact, financial stress is one of the most common causes or contributing factors for relationship breakdown). Rather than teaching him humility, if your son found out that he would have otherwise had a very good life were it not for his father's decisions to take on other peoples lives, your son will likely just feel like he had his future stolen from him either because his father's good nature was taken advantage of by other relatives, or because he is a love fool (or both).
I've lived both rich and poor growing up. Rich doesn't always mean that you'll be spoiled, poor doesn't always mean that you'll learn humility (these things are not necessarily synonymous). And it is very difficult to work your way back up from the bottom once you've dropped below a certain level of income; poverty is a vicious cycle that is very hot to get out of once you've gotten stuck it's spin.
You live a blessed life. Why it is blessed, could be blessed for many reasons. But I would warn you to not take the good times for granted, since much of your current quality of life is essentially afforded by an ease of wealth (so you need to protect that for both your sake and your son's sake).
Culturally-speaking, it is entirely your choice what you want to do in your marriage. Different culture's have myriad different takes on relationships, and the approaches across the world are endlessly diverse. But you should make sure that if you do follow a tradition, that you are following it out of genuine desire. It does sounds like you are not against the prospect of your husband taking on a 2nd wife (especially for the reasons given), my advice would be that if you do decide to agree to it (and this is ultimately your choice to make!) to make sure its a decision that you're 100% informed and communicative about.
Does your husband expect to have a sexual relationship with your cousin (and if so, how do you feel about that)? Are you open to the idea of raising your children together and potentially growing a bigger family with not just more children by yourself, but your cousin too? How well do you know your cousin and do you speak often?
These also all very important things to think about.
If she wanted to, she would. Meaning if she cared enough about you, she would try harder. She doesn’t seem to be really into you. I’m sorry. Chalk it off as a learning experience and move on.
get a jobby job and move out..Certainly sounds you have more problems than just some other guy, you are pushing away, that you need to focus on first.
So you mean there is NO possibility he intentionally decided to do something dumb for the hell of it out of jumping the gun?
Let him fix his own pos shack up. Don't invest money into this guy. It sounds like he is tied up caring for his ailing, aging mother anyway, so marriage probably isn't in the near future. If you want to keep pursuing this relationship, I'd keep it at arms reach until the situation improves.
I'd be worried about him being untruthful about his financial situation and also him being a grown man and still needing to buddy up with his mom to buy properties. Nothing wrong with that, I guess, but it's just not something I would personally look for in a partner. I'd prioritize and value a bit more independence, if you know what I'm saying.
Idk, I don't think you guys should even be worried about putting each other's names on your respective properties until you're actually married. And if you get married while mom is still alive, then you likely wouldn't even be put on the deed to his shack until she passed anyway….so not really a fair situation there. Hypothetically speaking, of course.
Yep this post is actually really gross and very sad for her current husband.
I know that you are right and it's worrysome that I'm struggling with it.
Something is wrong with me.
What did I just read
Lmao ?
Why did you ask?
You’re in serious denial if you think your relationship is happy or loving
That isn’t in reference to the treatment he’s receiving. “Do what you need to do to take care of your kids properly.”
Is it sex in general, or sex with him?