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6 thoughts on “ErinMaiden live! sex chats for YOU!”
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No, this is not how all guys talk.
I find these kinds of problems interesting.
No one is perfect, we all have flaws. Many are insecure about them, so they ask for reassurance from their partner. But if they have that flaw, the partner will most likely see it. Because they are still together, it means that the flaw is accepted and not a dealbreaker for the partner.
It is of course a dick move from the partner to volunteer or bring this up. There is no reason to do so, and it will only hurt.
But when the insecure party directly asks their partner, what is the answer supposed to be? We have a few options: simply not see or be aware of the flaw, lying about it, or answer honestly. We assume that the partner is bright enough to be aware of the flaw.
We are left with a lose-lose situation (or win-win, depending on your values). If the partner lies, the peace is kept, but the relationship is supported by lies. If the partner tells the truth, there will most likely be a negative reaction, and usually also some unfair blame.
It can be win-win if you see it as either the piece being kept or good communication.
When confronted with a lose-lose situation, in the moment, you must just take the smallest loss and roll with it. But let's take a step back. How did we get in this situation in the first place? By the insecure party asking.
The question can have two intentions: either just wanting a reality check, or wanting to be lulled in denial of the flaw. The former can accept both answers (yes or no), but the latter will just be hurt by truth, and is the one that produces a lose-lose situation.
It sounds to me like it really is not the responsibility of the partner to deal with this: they have been put in a position where anything they do will damage the relationship, so they are not to blame. Yet, they very often are. The solution is to just not ask for false validation in the first place.
TL:DR; Don't ask questions if you can't handle the answers, then the blame is on you.
I guess so, huh?
okay okayyy
I guess I (44F) don’t really understand. You’re 30YO. Why can’t you regulate your emotions? Do you need to see a doctor about hormones or depression or PMDD? A therapist for better coping strategies? It just doesn’t seem “normal” to me to be having so many down days and need so much attention to moods.
Like…I (44M) sometimes don’t sleep well. That sucks. But I don’t mope around all day making everyone else miserable. I pour a coffee and move on. ?♀️
If I have my period, I take some meds if I have cramps and I carry on with my day.
Personally, I find it naked not to pick up on other peoples’ moods and if my partner was grumpy or moping around, it would absolutely impact me. I can’t just pretend he’s not in a bad mood.
I dunno. A few times a year? Sure. People have bad days and down days. But if it were happening a few times a month or a week? I’d find it pretty unattractive. Especially if my partner needed to be away from me so regularly because they were in a foul mood. I’d think it was ME that was the problem.
About the only advice I can offer is to just tell him right up front “I’m in a mood and need to go be alone for awhile”.
Else, maybe talk to a professional and see if you can find a way to have less of these episodes.
Op 6EQUJ5w is soo right!Don't ever let him talk to you that way again!I don't care if he was drunk. What he said was so very cruel. He has a lot to answer for!you have a good job and seem very capable. Good luck!