The funny thing is if your father and stepmother had just respected your feelings on the matter and not forced the issue, there would probably have been some level of acceptance by now.
These people don't know how to talk with you as an adult human. They talk down to you, seeing you as (just) their child. Until they can actually have a mature conversation with you on your boundaries I don't think anything can be fixed. They are the ones who need therapy.
I think you're entirely in the right here. However, as you said yourself, you're not even sure you know who they are any more. If you were open to at least talking to them again one day, I would set out (again) what you would need from them if they were to come back into your lives. If they can't do that then they can't be in your life. And for the love of God, set a 1-strike rule. Don't let them take advantage of any goodwill you have.
Haha yeah I knew this one would be a downvote machine. Idk man I’m just answering the question as asked ??♀️
First of all he has a right to know. It’s his child too. Talk to him.
The funny thing is if your father and stepmother had just respected your feelings on the matter and not forced the issue, there would probably have been some level of acceptance by now.
These people don't know how to talk with you as an adult human. They talk down to you, seeing you as (just) their child. Until they can actually have a mature conversation with you on your boundaries I don't think anything can be fixed. They are the ones who need therapy.
I think you're entirely in the right here. However, as you said yourself, you're not even sure you know who they are any more. If you were open to at least talking to them again one day, I would set out (again) what you would need from them if they were to come back into your lives. If they can't do that then they can't be in your life. And for the love of God, set a 1-strike rule. Don't let them take advantage of any goodwill you have.