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I feel like you need to have a deep and meaningful chat with your partner and say something like
“Whilst I cherish all the gifts you give me I’m worried this is setting a precedent with my family and friends as now people are talking about your wealth and thinking I should be giving them handouts”
As for your family tell them they are expected to look after themselves financially and you will NOT be gifting LV bags nor agreeing to their self entitlement and demands
I get why you are reluctant to burn bridges with family but the longer you stay silent the worse this will become
the woman is in the USA and a Border agent at the crossing we both used many times. That’s how I imagine they met.
It takes some serious cojones to hit on someone you normally speak to only briefly, while in transit, who knows you have a long-term partner. What a prick
I think his commitment issues added onto an LDR is most likely a recipe for disaster. You’d need some type of commitment from here on out, in my opinion, for it to really be worth it. This just sounds like a pricey booty call, to put it bluntly.
Yeah some people think that just because you're polite, you're immediately interested. I don’t want to say that but you didn’t cheat but honestly i don’t know if your partner would believe you after 2 months. Did you told someone what happened?
Well he does use chapstick all the time. It’s weird that he didn’t have a tube on him or at work.
If you can’t do it you can’t do it. My bf is the first person I have gave head to. I was fine with it. Tell him to give you time you’re trying to adjust to it
Google “trickle truthing”
Your relationship is NOT old enough for this shit. Get a DNA test and dip. Hopefully you're not on the hook for 18 years and can find someone who doesn't cheat and lie
Let your poor fiancé find someone who isn’t pining over another, unavailable woman. She deserves someone who cares for her the way you care for Amy. You need to work on your commitment issues so you don’t treat people this way.
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It sounds like the “friend” wouldn't show the lead up messages so you are probably at least partly correct and based on what we've heard about her personality, it seems on character. Still heartbreaking that fiance fell for it, hook, line and sinker.
Lol if she waits two years he just might not. I'd leave after a year of being left in the cold.
We briefly discussed in the past how we want gifts done. She said ‘something that makes you think of me’ and I said ‘I’m the same.’
That said, I’m not looking to be angry at her. I just would like a different kind of gift in the future but don’t know how to approach the topic without sounding cruel to the gifts she did get me and hurting her.
I’m not so sure. He said it was his “new years resolution” to quit cold turkey. He tried to have sex with me to cope with his addiction.
You don't. You end it. Do not move in with him.
He already feels entitled to you doing the dishes and screams when you protest. This will only get worse if you live! together at HIS place.
The guy went on the date. Why hasn't he said anything about not being into her? Ha should text her that. He's 27, not 17. He should act like it.
Some body save this man from himself
This is literally your GF: “My kink is when I’m racist and you’re subhuman”
BRO
WHY IN GODS NAME ARE YOU STILL WITH HER
This is on her. She’s got to talk to her brother and father about being respectful and taking her choices seriously. All you can do is treat her well, be respectful even when they try to instigate, and definitely lean in to mom liking you. Mom being fed up with dad and brother is what will get things changed the fastest.
Part of getting out of/over a toxic relationship is missing the dramatics of it all. He knows they were bad for one another, and the comparisons he is making between the two of you (stable vs electric, electric being a not-always-great extreme). Your feelings are valid, and it may be worth a conversation with your boyfriend.
You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re willing to sideline a career for someone you’ve been dating for 4 months?!
Girl learn to make choices that are not stupid by the title alone. The details made it worse
Hey sweetie. Internet mom here. You left an abusive relationship and that makes you a hero. Listen to the story. It starts with love bombing and this goes on as long as you cater to his every need. He’s the one who told you he was nice and that all of his exes would verify. The very first time that you had the audacity (in his eyes) to assert yourself, he got mad. It was your fault. You wanted him to contribute and he got mad. Why should he pay rent? This could be the first few chapters of how to spot an abuser. Love bombing. The second you started to really see him he was mad. It was your fault. He changed overnight. Classic abuser. You are not unlovable. You dodged a bullet. It happened because you saw him for who he is and that, that is a great thing. You may not have called it abuse but you knew something wasn’t right. I want you to see a therapist and talk about this. Please. That will ensure that your never pick a bad guy again. He was not a good man. You are lovable.
Journaling is an extremely healthy and normal thing to do. Reading someone’s diary without asking? Not so much…
Sounds like her “friendship” was pretty conditional and now that she is not going to get anymore handouts, she is done with you. It is always sad to find out that you were being used, but sounds like you are way better off without her in your life. You may want to consider the phone a lost cause and probably should just change your locks …. just incase she gets any ideas to come over your place and help herself to your stuff. I am sorry this happened to you…. 🙁
I was my Brother’s caregiver for the 5 years before he passed at 49 yrs old. It was just the two of us, as my parents had passed away & neither of us were married at the time. We went through a lot, not the least of which was both of us dealing with caring for his privates, learning to do so with respect for each other.
See, he had multiple health issues, including Crohn’s disease, leading to a colostomy. He also had severe psoriatic & rheumatoid arthritis. As such, he couldn’t clean his colostomy bag or frankly, himself when the bag would accidentally come off. I was able to do this for him because of his respectful approach and honestly, in my eyes, courage in dealing with all his infirmities & pain.
Helping him made me a better person and I’m grateful for having that time with him (miss him everyday since).
Don’t mean to be wordy but just wanted to give some background why I feel entitled to say my main point is… Your GF is a complete waste of human space. She a twisted, immature piece of garbage, lacking in the most basic form of empathy. DUMP HER NOW! SHE IS NOT WORTHY OF YOU!!!
HAHAHA You've never taken a walmart bike to a mechanic. I have.
It the chain wears out quickly because the drivetrain is misaligned, you either buy a lot more chains or upgrade the bike. If you need to buy 5 chains in a year when 1 would be enough for a better bike, that adds up.
You literally asked. If you don’t believe me feel free to google it because with how hostile you’re responding you probably won’t think my sources are trustworthy enough in the first place. The father of gynecology is not a secret, you can google those exact words and find him I just don’t particularly care to memorize his name. If you genuinely don’t think there’s a long history of men using “female” as a derogatory term when they’re being insulting/sexist, diagnosing women with ‘hysteria’, treating us like breeding machines and like our only worth is our sex/sex organs, and institutionalized/normalized sexism and misogyny in our society, then you have bigger problems than some people taking issue with your word choice.
Can you ask your girlfriend who would be looking after her needs if she were to fall seriously ill or sustain a life changing injury?
Genuinely curious, does she have money for private carers so her family do not need to see her genitals? Or would she fully expect you to clean her up after calling you a sicko/incestuous for doing the same thing for your SISTER?
She needs to grow up and realise that life isn’t sunshine and daisies and that sometimes you do things that aren’t “typical” because life handed you a certain lot and you’re not an asshole enough to abandon ship.
I applaud you for being there to care for family.
In that case maybe don't date the guy with full blown untreated OCD.
Who said I’m anti masturbating lol I think that’s really healthy. Also a lot of women don’t watch it and never have, we tend to not get off on misogyny
You're a cheater and a liar. Very promising character trait.
Dump her and date this new woman!
End the relationship
This ain't on you, hun. It sounds like he checked out and there wasn't anything you could have done. Do what others suggest and cut the dead weight. You deserve better than supporting someone who resents you for no reason.
Cringe! Rap like that sucks. I bet his music sucks
I assume if you’re taking a pregnancy test now, this wasn’t something that just happened last night? (and if it is a pregnancy test is not going to be accurate yet, but you’re still in the window for Plan B and go get some this minute!!!)
Thank you, I can’t help but feel like a total crazy person for now allowing the dogs downstairs and I fear receiving a ton of judgement for that rule, but this makes me feel better. Very appreciated ❤️?
You aren’t allowed to have an opinion about him because you don’t have a penis. Dipshit logic at its finest. You have no idea what her pregnancy was like, but you are happy to project. Did his timing suck? Yes. Should that warrant a divorce in an otherwise solid relationship (according to the poster, not according to your projections)?
I don’t know what I did wrong to end up in this situation.
You've done absolutely nothing wrong…unless you're considering taking her back and excusing her infidelity. Then you're f'ing up royally, and you'll eventually get even worse when she does it to you again. Here's hoping you've already figured this out. There's no coming back from this.
Look – I understand how finding a place that's affordable can be a challenge and demoralizing. Especially in today's market depending on where you're living. But you have absolutely zero excuse for your parents paying for practically everything for you.
Your first step here should be handling your own payments as well as contribute to rent to help out with the living expenses you're contributing to. While this isn't the same experience as moving out – it is definitely a good first step to learn responsibility and how to manage your own money while still in a safe environment.
Rent – payment same day monthly.
Bills paid on time.
Contribute to house chores if you don't already.
Contribute to cooking meals if you don't already.
This will show your gf that you're at least trying to take the right steps.
The next would be education and/or a sustainable job leading to moving out and affording a place. If money is an issue.
Things aren't going to magically change and land in your lap. Your gf wants a partner. Not a dependent. You're currently a dependent with your own parents. How else is she supposed to feel? Time to take capable steps and change that.
This trend of trans people not disclosing their trans status to their partners is awful! It’s emotional manipulation to wait for someone to be emotionally invested before disclosing something that could be a dealbreaker
Not a single person here believes that you met her conveniently at the exact legal age.
And honestly. Legal or not, you're fvcked and married a woman the same age as your daughter. Thats fvcking disgusting you gross pedo.
Leave her tf alone. You made it clear you don't give a damn about her, you made your bed now fvcking lay in it.
I hope she reached every amazing milestone and you won't be there to ruin it because you will only ever be a disgusting reminder that her dad is a pedo who fvcked her friend and then chose said friend over her.
Tell him you have noticed a change and you are concerned. Untreated dental problems can lead to serious health issues.
. Its a worry that he's doing it so often. He's risking death grip. Wake up and sit up the moment you detect what he's up to and ask him random questions to put him off his stroke. Or be honest and tell him you are keen to have a good sex life and a good nights sleep so if he could jerk off once a a day with his morning wood you'b be happier and he won't destroy his abilties.
Offer to 'talk' him through his morning solo time or if he's into to that or if he's into doing itbecause you're asleep then pretnd to sleep in the morning but make it clear you are not overnight.
That’s nonsense.
Is your goal to keep him interested or explore your individuality?
He’s not interested in that, if it becomes unattractive. You have 100% right to do anything you want but if your goal is to live! like you are single then you will probably get the results.
A haircut won’t end a relationship. But small things add up. It sends a message to him. Guys are visual creatures and the tone of disinterest in his attraction is always known.
Your right, nobody in the history of ever has used a second phone to hide an affair and fucked up by leaving it out in plain site subsequently getting caught cheating. That has NEVER happened ever. Every spouse is always perfectly loyal if they’ve never given a reason for their partner to distrust them.
Thus is beyond couples counseling. She has zero emotional investment in your marriage, and she makes zero effort. You cannot change her into the person you want her to be.
You are the only one trying to make this marriage work. And it takes two to keep a marriage alive.
Get weekly individual therapy to sort yourself out. I wish I could meet a guy like you who wants to enjoy life. I’d paint my nails any color he wants. Instead I’m divorced from the male version of your wife with no one I really want to date available.
It’s ok to leave a marriage when your spouse doesn’t care about you and never will.
Why would he want another girl just like you, he has you. No girl similar to you is going to compare so he wants something different, that’s perfectly normal.
Just say no thank you. If they ask why not just be honest that it isnt your thing but youd love to meet up for lunch after.