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I’m definitely not saying crying is helpful.
Maybe it’s in that sense that this just isn’t compatible then. Your statement is valid.
I did start with a mellow tone and only begin crying when he starts yelling. I’ve expressed outside of arguments how it causes an emotional reaction in me and I shut down when he starts raising his voice. Therefore I’m no longer able to have a clear conversation.
At the end of the day I know it’s not positive and something I’m working on improving. Specifically in this case I knew I was upset and unable to talk without crying so I took space. He came in to talk to me and I expressed that I couldn’t talk about the issue yet and would talk later.
This seemed to be the point that made everything upsetting and escalated for him.
I agree with you fully commenter that my reaction is not productive for either him or me. But I guess I’m not sure how to manage it in this relationship.