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I'm in the same boat as you BF but I'm doing it for religious reasons. Man and a woman come together to be one flesh. I take that very seriously. I also don't view divorce as an option. It is not a business deal or a partnership; we are a single unit and I'll only marry a woman who has the same view as me. Btw I bring this thing up pretty early on before any strong attachments form.
Often, the issue isn't what to say or when, but how to cope with the response. Look into the grey-rock technique. The short of it is giving minimal responses to emotional manipulation. If you are wondering when to use it, it's whenever you feel yourself getting into a heightened emotional state (anxious, uncertain, scared, angry, etc) as a result of someone else's words or expressions. If they escalate, withdraw whatever way you can. This includes potentially going no-contact Also, simply feeling anxious about talking to your parents about a topic is sufficient reason to step back and delay speaking with them. They have created a social atmosphere that you are not comfortable with, and so you are justified in doing what is best for your mental health.