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197 thoughts on “Charlotte-g18 online sex cams for YOU!”
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NOPE.
Put your foot down. Tell him absolutely not, under no circumstances, and it is not up for debate.
Tell him this is a dealbreaker. And tell yourself, too.
And also ask yourself why you would want to be with a man who would even suggest this to you. Because this says a lot of things about his family dynamic, and they are not good things.
If my daughter were planning on getting married before graduating college and getting a job I would also be saying “if you're old enough to be married you're old enough to be financially independent”.
Your parents are racist but of course they're not going to be paying for you to on-line if you're married. Their racism is almost incidental here.
What is the rush? I really think you should try living as an independent adult before you get married. You don't seem to have thought this through very carefully.
If you weren't exclusive, he didn't do anything wrong except being honest with you. You have every right yo be annoyed that he didn't tell you ahead of time. Do you want to date someone who keeps secrets.
Also, not pressing the issue because he “feels bad”…come on. That is such a manipulative technique and you fell for it. He did wrong by not being honest with you, he should feel bad.
She likes male validation. You gave it to her and she moved on to the next guy. Don't beat yourself up though, you handled it very well. Just got to be stoic and brush it off. Also would not talk to her or even go to the tea place anymore. And if you see her, just stonewall her, that's really all you can do.
I’d say you should tell him to start a YouTube channel to monologue about these topics but we really have enough toxic morons covering that.
Do you like talking to him outside of these monologues? Are you guys actually compatible? If so, you just need to very plainly tell him he has to get friends to monologue to because you’re not interested in engaging in those topics. Unfortunately it is very very hot to teach people to not be annoying, so good luck.
Good luck Kels! I’d ask him for a compromise. His diet shouldn’t determine both of your lifestyles.
I feel your reply minimises how much the “average” guy likes looking at other women. There is no doubt that modern media has provided men of today a literal smorgasbord of titillating eye candy, and there is no doubt that many many men like looking.
It is a guy thing generally speaking. More men than not will look – as the very existence of this deluge of media demonstrates. The media is there to make money so someone must be looking at it to generate views and currency in one form or another. And there is a lot of it.
The difference is what the average guy does about it. Does he make his partner feel bad about it by ignoring her perception of the whole thing or does he trying limit views, and respect his partner as much as he can? Even without viewing media Mr Average is still going to notice the blonde at the grocery store in yoga pants, or the attractiveness of whatever Hollywood bombshell is current flavour. Youre right. He won't and can't stop but how he deals with it is crucial. And Yes, it may be a deal breaker.
If he already covers more of the going out expenses then I don’t think you should ask him to pay a higher percentage. I’m sure he would rather have a thank you when he pays for going out rather than an assumption of paying more.
Bipolar Disorder is a serious mental disorder that is chronic. It’s believed to stem from differences in the structure of the brain.
As much as you love your partner, this is not something you should overlook. Even under the best case scenarios, people with bipolar disorder can do a lot of damage to themselves and loved ones.
Your partner may be right. I’m not sure what medicine your partner is on, but they generally work on the manic side (unless they’ve given her antidepressants).
Any medicine takes some getting used to, and it can often times leave people feeling emotionally numb.
I really think you should have a serious talk with your partner. And be ready for answers you don’t want to hear. It’s sad, but there’s nothing you really can do- her feelings and decisions are up to her. Even if her motivation may feel ephemeral or shallow, it’s still her motivation.
I wish you the best, and remember to take care of yourself.
Tell your bf that you will not apologize to her because you have convictions and you think you were right. You know A is his friend but you are his gf why take for A’s gf instead of you.?
Tell him also that you might have different opinions with other people does it mean he will take for them every time instead of being on your side.
My blood was BOILING when I read that.
I'm assuming that OP's husband made the comment about it not being the first time unintentionally, and the rest (telling her it was because they weren't serious, and mentioning the other girlfriends) was just his way of trying to make it seem like it was less of a big deal.
Absolutely horrifying to me that OP even mentioned that part, because it legitimately feels like part of her is hoping she's making this into a bigger deal than it actually is.
When in reality, this is so much worse than she seems ready to admit.
My opinion:
Positives:
– Character development was somewhat reasonable and shows the father's emotional pain. – The father's reaction seemed reasonable, as well as the feelings he had.
Negatives:
– Biology research was not performed. I highly recommend using Wikipedia or downloading a biology textbook some someplace. – People knowing their blood types off the top of their head is extremely unreasonable. – People basing a relationship off blood types does not happen in most cultures
FINAL GRADE:
C+
He won't change. Get out of this wile you still can.
The story is fake. Ragebait.
>She recently found porn on my laptop and wants to leave me because it is still cheating.
Some people consider looking at porn to be cheating, others are fine about it. It's her boundary, her respect.
My opinion though, is you need to break up with her, or she needs to break up with you. You aren't ready for an exclusive relationship since you're messaging other women.
*He thinks we can work through it, and he was/is depressed
Depression and mental health issues is not an excuse to act like this. Sincerely someone who has been through depression and needed validation constantly but never cheated on someone.
Yep – dump him. I can’t think of any reason to justify staying with someone who has openly called you ugly. I know you’ve gotta have more self respect than that.
In fact, we understand you because we have watch Grey's Anatomy.
the same gig happen in the police, fire(wo)men, events orgaisers, bakers, club owners…
long time ago i took a late night bachelor. the better advise we receive the first day was : when you will go home, thanks your family extensively for their help. because if they don't, you won't reach the end.
it was true. and i have repeat that advise to people i have teached too beause it remains true.
higher training is like converting to a religion : you are not the smae person before and after. many friends and families will hold it against you.
Totally agree, thanks for taking the time to say it.
I will probably talk about it today in a way that she cannot feel guilt or bad under any circumstances, otherwise Id rather not talk about it if I were going to make her feel bad.
She’s right, you’re not strong enough to support her through some very significant trauma experiences.
While I said he is not innocent either, it's completely reasonable for humans to change their minds, sometimes on a dime. Let's not pretend that any human on earth can think logically and reasonably while having sex. Now obviously he's an idiot as they're not snogging at every moment, but I don't think that dismisses what OP is saying is immature on her end. Hopefully this will teach him to not think with his wiener and smarten him up, but saying “But he is responsible too!!!!” Well yeah, if they weren't already broken up. Reality often doesn't work the way we want but given that the relationship is over, to me the consent and agreement a relationship implies for children, finances, time etc gets broken. When you are no longer with someone, they don't have the right to turn to you demanding all your resources because something like this happened, as your life has moved on from that place in your life. Some people are okay with doing so, some aren't. This guy isn't and I personally think he's not evil for it. An ass or a moron? Yes, but OP stating “He's so selfish for walking away when he knew this could happen!!!!! He's the bane of society!!!!” screams more immature than he was being
Op every step he took was planned. I am sorry you have to deal with this after being together for so long. I know it hurts and you are being very smart about the situation. Do you think you need to be tested for std's?I am only asking you because you know him better than anyone else. Best wishes and good luck.
He’s negging you to break up with him so he’s not “the bad guy”. He’s cruel to even joke about things like that. Why stay with a cruel person? I’m sorry OP but your boyfriend doesn’t deserve you.
slapped me in the face too very hot (lovingly)
uhm what lol?
On the bright side, in California if you've been married less than 10 years, you only have to pay alimony for half the number of years you've been married. He'd probably only have to pay her a year of alimony since I'd hope she was at least 18 when he married this adolescent.
If you were close friends then you should have approached him and expressed that right away. Instead you played the passive aggressive game, hoped he would notice you were ignoring him and would read your mind and leave her alone, right? Something to reflect on in future, rather than do petty things like that actually communicate with people.
Still, you made clear a boundary and he seems to have chosen to continue as he was. Now you have to decide if you are comfortable with that and can continue being friends.
Is there a probablity he is gay and just using you to hide from people and also to get children?
Has he been married before?..when was his last relationship before you?
She was kinda mortified when she said it
Because she didn't want you to know. But now you do. What's the next step bundlesofjoy11? Are you going to just sweep it under the rug and pretend it didn't happen, or do something about it?
Its tricky. Because even if she isn't f*ing him, and it “only” happened because she's fantasizing about him when she's having sex with you, and when she's taking care of business by herself, she's almost certainly not going to be honest with you. Right?
Do you have access to her phone? Are there other reasons that you have that suggest that she's cheating on you – recent changes in behavior?
“And I wish you were a better human being, yet here we are… ?♀️”
It absolutely does not make you gay. Your friends are shit and are blatantly disrespecting not only you but your girlfriend. Find new friends or establish strong boundaries. What you do in the bedroom with your girl is your business and does not make you gay.
Right, and you don't think she has a “No secrets” rule with her boyfriend?
If she can betray someone she's been with for SIX YEARS, who she spends way more hours daily with, face to face, for two years, what makes you think she can't lie to you too?
Take it as a blessing, because you should have broken up with him ages ago
I agree that it's not fair to A to be angry or upset because her actions indirectly caused issues between my friend and his wife. I appreciate your take on this situation and I hope that she understands now that this is a boundary. We haven't really spoken today but I'm supposed to see her in an hour or so and I anticipate talking about this. We'll see how things go. Thank you!
I stopped reading when he defended e cigs. He’s an actual idiot I’d reconsider marrying him too. There’s a good chance that lack of intelligence is genetic…
Oh I immediately thought “her friend is gay” when I saw “my love”. Lol I get why you’re weirded out, but it’s prolly legit and you have nothing to worry about. It’s just flowery language because it’s fun to be silly.
Oh yikes that's a big oof then.
People alternate the fight & pull away in unhappy marriages, just pulling away would indicated they are actually planning on leaving or have given up.
Talk to a lawyer , while is great to hope for the best ist best to plan for the worst. If he leaves you, you need to protect yourself & your kids.
As for how to save the marriage and make him love you, you haven't mentioned what the issues were.
HOWEVER to seem more desirable as a woman it can't hurt to act a little more independant , happy and mysterious. I always tell myself to act THINK and dress like a stereotypical ( not a real ) french woman when I want to be sexy & unobtainable. Confide in your friends your sadness & insecurities keep your troubles and happiness away from him.
Be passionate instead of passive. If the problem is he's he is lazy in the home don't nag just flip between leaving a huge mess yourslf or occasionally get silently angry at his mess and dump the dishes in the trash.
Men despise depressed clingy women but will tollerate a lot of crazy and I promise you he will come to respect & fear your new stance on dish clearing . Good luck op ! Have fun being French and don't give up PROTECT your assets & FIGHT for your marriage.
Trust your gut, brother.
There's multiple sleep meds that are originally or off label anti depressants.
They're now classified as sleeping meds because for the majority of people that's how they work with brain chemistry.
Unless you are bipolar or have another serious health condition, and risk becoming manic, which I assume your doctor would already know and be wary of/looking for signs within the first few weeks, if it works for you like millions of others, then you should use it and he can stfu.
You must not be Orthodox Jewish. We are not allowed to touch people of the opposite sex unless we are married to them or directly related to them. I just got engaged a few weeks ago and we knew each other only 3 weeks or so. But we knew it was right after just a few dates! We’re getting married this summer when I fly out to Israel.
Sounds like some insecurities around her own self image, if you end becoming more attractive and think you can do better with a partner whose also thinner than her.
She’s needs to come to terms with her own issues and you need to remind her you’re not leaving her if you get in shape. It doesn’t mean you will drop her and upgrade with a thinner woman.
She may have this reservation deep down.
So talk to her, ask her if this is an insecurity she has down the road. She may need to feel like you’re not going anywhere. It’s that security disappearing that bothering her & why she’s most likely responding like this.
Don't put yourself out there. Less stress on you. The bridal party will do their part.
Have fun with the wedding you are involved with. It sounds like you will make it an amazing experience.
People like you're bf, no amount of stuff you do with them will ever make them happy enough to let you go away by yourself. He's highly dependent. If you take Stacey once, you'll have to take her everything after because it will always be a case of him saying if you don't take her it must be because you don't like her. He's being manipulative and insecure. I know this because I used to be like this a couple of decades ago, I've since worked on my insecurities and a completely different person now however I know the game he's playing.
He will not allow you to just be yourself and do things for yourself.
he yells at me, tells me to shut the fuck up, calls me names (idiot, bitch, cunt)
Leave. This isn't how you speak with people you love.
Of course she has a right to do it. She has a right to have promiscuous sex with strangers, too. Having the right to do something doesn't always make it the right thing to do. I'm not saying she has to give this up, but he is never just magically going to become ok with it. So she either wants to continue the arguments or she can compromise. Obviously, the other option being just saying you aren't compatible and moving on.
No down voting from this independent chick!! Preach it sister!
Wow. Your Fiancé is cruel and manipulative. Recommend pumping the brakes on that wedding.
Bro, did you even read the whole post lmao? This is a ritual I've been doing since way before I met him. It's not a vacation away from my boyfriend. It's a self care ritual where I decompress in solitude. It's not insulting, it's no different than if he spent a weekend golfing or hunting a month.
I've tried planning numerous trips with just him and I, and the three of us. Most of the time he isn't about it. Although we did all go on vacation recently.
I've purposely tried to not come on or anything because I know that, but since I have only ever made friends through common interests I have no idea how to get to know people in passing without sounding weird
He cheated or he was basking in her company either one is bad
A manly man doesn’t need permission to be masculine, he just is.
Sounds like a lack of maturity and security on his part. You are under no obligation to trust someone with something, when they haven’t earned it.
If he wants to even the playing field, he needs to bring himself up rather than try to pull you down.
She's 25 so she's had these issues for awhile now, did she have a babysitter all those times? She's been single before so how did she survive that?
Misery loves company but, there really isn't anything you can do to help her, that she hasn't been doing for herself. You can sympathize, give some comfort but, that's about it. How many times, in a few hours, is she planning on getting up if she is in such terrible pain?
You hanging about and putting your life on hold is only going to lead to resentment. If she is that scared, her or her parents can hire a caregiver/nanny to watch her. Her illness, her responsibility.
As another commenter mentioned: your feelings are valid. The fact that she hid this from you robbed you of making an informed choice and feels like a deception or betrayal. The fact that she is now refusing to talk to you about it is an equally huge problem (assuming you are being calm and not lashing out at her about her past choices). She should have told you earlier instead if hiding it and should be willing to talk to you about it now to help you work through your feelings.
I personally wouldn’t have an issue with my partner having done porn in the past, and the acts she did then but won’t do now with you are likely either because she experimented and didn’t like it, or no longer likes it, and/or was willing to do it for money but not pleasure. But for some that is a boundary or deal breaker and that’s ok. Everyone’s allowed to have their preferences.
But anyone should have a problem with the fact that she hid it from you on purpose and now is refusing to talk to you about it. Relationships are built on trust and communication and she’s failing you on both fronts.
Best of luck to you in navigating this.
This is supposed to be the easiest and best part of your relationship. That isn’t so awful and insecure speaks volumes. Please stay broken up for both of your future sakes.
You opened the door, shined a flashlight around, and neither of them woke up?
He really doesn't seem to consider you at all. Personally I'd try to arrange a trial separation. Stay away for a week if you can and see if you miss him.
Exactly!! End of! there is no argument! I've accepted clothes off a male, whilst my husband was present!!!
He should be happy, you were taken care of and not left to get Ill! Really wtf!!!
This is pretty simple. He's making you get sick. You have a medical condition. Sue.
You want help to break up with her ?
I got you. Go. Ask her about her Dad, or any parent, really. Ask to see a picture. Tell her they're very hot. Everytime you're around her ask about her parent/s. Doesn't have to be sexual, just be more than the regular amount of interested in them. Only do it in front of her. If you're as evil as I can be, get to know them and fuck them. If he's still married to her mom, even better. Fuck him and tell her. There is no woman he can groom that doesn't have a parent you can't seduce. Either he knocks it off or your gonna get his child bride's dad off. You'll win. Tell those girls, either they fuck off, or you're going to marry THEIR dad and write them out of the will. Rinse, repeat.
I didn’t necessarily catch them but her car was at my house and she wasn’t. I put one and one together and called her garbage person to her face. Quite funny.
Because if mom doesn’t know, she deserves to.
I don’t think that’s it he doesn’t pay anything to on-line here and he seemed so keen on the lead up to moving in doing projects etc
Ah, ok, so this might be “I thought it was going to be us, but instead as soon as we moved in she gave me a list of things to fix in the house…” Now you are letting us know that he doesn't pay, so maybe YOU let him know that too.
You know men have feelings, right? Maybe he felt like your handyman instead of your BF.
You're stimulating the economy.
Thank you.
He's done it multiple times, and you've always told him to stop; he's aware of how you feel, so he continues to do it. Please talk to a close female relative to whom you trust your friend. You may want to fix things and see the good in him, but he is putting on a mask for you. His hurting you shows you who he is. You love him, and letting him go hurts, but you must put yourself first. He's not the man that will ever give you the love you deserve. He doesn't want to partner but someone he can control. So sorry that you're going through this, but please listen to what everyone has to say. You are so young. Please save yourself from years of torment. Many people think intimate partner abuse will never happen to them, but they stay in abusive relationships for years. Sending you a lot of love and strength to get through this time ??
You can’t help an addict. Addiction is truly hereditary. Only a professional can help them. I know you care about this person and want them well, but they will only seek help once their life falls apart. You don’t want to sacrifice your life as they fall apart.
I’d move out. Maybe not break up but I would definitely find my own place. Let him get some roommates.
I made dinner last night and I cleaned up without help. My husband usually helps. I was kinda pissed but realized he just installed a toilet in our bathroom. Is he doing “guy” things like home and car repairs? Or just work and home?
Agreed, I expected actual advice.
Having male friends shouldn't be a problem. If you want to keep this guy it's probably a good idea to not depend time alone with them. It's a him problem but a little help doesn't do any harm if he's worth it?
Buy a moped for transportation. I am sure you can find a small studio for cheap if you ask around or a men's shelter. Or ask other friends an family..
Holy fucking cow ! It is far beyond a mere cheating. We are already at the criminal level.
Protect yourself. Take any help you can find. Cover your operations. Strike at once when you are sure to succeed.
You’re the side piece
Well, now you know why his wife left him.
I can see this going downhill very fast after they have a baby too.
He’s wants to have sex with someone else, someone special and he’s gaslighting you, convincing you that it’s your fault.
This is a mind fuck and it total manipulation. He actually has you feeling bad about something you did before you ever knew him.
He’s manipulating you in order to get what he wants, no comprising.
I very seriously disagree with this. When you date someone you date their whole family too. If he's not cool with what was described as outright hostility, he's totally entitled to gtfo of there. OP should have supported him and put up boundaries but for the most part OP's family were just too much, and her bf is reacting normally for rhat
Yeah this is a fair point
Ya… I’m out
Lmaooooo
yeah if there's a possibility that it will get back to her anyways, you should probably go ahead and tell her. You can explain the events in your eyes but DO NOT blame her for your decision to cheat. Something like “I was hurt and already done in my mind but ik how fucked up it was and you didnt deserve that”
Oh, but since you have been introduced looking kind of like a mashed tomato they will think you the most beautiful man in the world once it has gone!
Yes just started therapy 3 weeks ago
Is your wife having an affair and projecting it onto you?
Helped thanks for the advice, I definitely don’t want to be taken advantage of, I just care about her so much. And we have a long shared history, we’ve been through worse. It just feels like I’m the only one who cares about us staying afloat
He’s long distance that’s why long distance relationship have a very hot time surviving. Oh wow you act like he is being inappropriate or overbearing but he’s long distance so he doesn’t get to be with you in person at all. So if you’re gonna make a long distance relationship work, you’re gonna have to set some boundaries but you’re also gonna have to be willing to give him what he needs or let him go. Compromise.
I’m 31F & I would not date a 22yr old at all regardless of gender, I’d feel like a predator.
No is a complete sentence. If he attempts to force you that is rape.
I would suggest you end it. It's obvious this guy has no plans of being serious with you.
It's ok, it's a fake story.
He is a bad friend. You set a reasonable boundary (for him to stop sexually harassing you) and he won't stop. Is this the kind of person you want to be friends with?
Give him an ultimatum – he stops or you're done with him.
I know what would make you happy!
Not being in a relationship that drains you, makes you feel minimized and requires more work than you want to put into it.
If a relationship doesn't make you happy – if it doesn't make your life better – get out of tht relationship!
Tell him he is single and can do whatever he wants. Sorry
Thanks for sharing your experience. Yeah that’s what really gets me is she’s trying so very hot and is really a great person. I just can’t help but think about someone who is also those things but less depressed.
Designated drunk driving happens every day.
He's made very clear in his comments he spends LOTS of time with his wife.
She just doesn't approve of his gaming habits, which seem perfectly within the tolerances of normal recreation.
So a divorce (legal fees, location changes, asset changes and emotional trauma) is preferable to taking a 3 month break. Gotcha.
Well your goal is to earn a livable wage to support yourself. The things that hinder you are your mental/physical health that you haven't gotten help for yet. Your first step is to get into some sort of recovery program for your physical and mental health. Then once mentally and physically fit, find a job that gives you a livable wage on your own. Idk how much your fiance is aware of your situation, but it would be pretty bad to be led on with fake peace just cause you needed a financial cushion rather than genuinely wanting to be there.
It's not you. You have a need, and she isn't addressing it and moving on. This eventually breeds resentment. It's also a reason why people cheat, not being fulfilled. Seeking something you're missing. Not saying it's the right thing to do. Just saying it's usual a reason.
Pets are considered property your husband stole your property from you and that person is receiving stolen goods. Call the cops. All of those things are crimes.
I’m not sure if that’s the same person who wrote the HSP book but no, she hasn’t said that. She has a whole website about it
I don’t get along well with her mom so yes, I’m sure she would defend her daughter in this situation.
Do more investigation. Check conversations.
This is fucking pointless. Even if she's telling the truth, dump her ass.
Yeah weird. I mean he was offered a plus one so presumably the other friends are bringing others too. Ok their usual get togethers are friends only. This IS clearly different. He’s creating all sorts of potential ‘issues’ that aren’t real to prevent you from going. Take this as a huge sign. This is different than him needing space etc. this is a social event you’re asking point blank to be included in,and he’s stiff arming you for no GOOD reason.
You’ve known Clark for years and dated your fiancé for 2 years? Wedding planning is supposed to be fun, stressful yes, but not “awful”. At a bear minimum you should stop planning the wedding / delay a final decision. You are already in a quandary. Marriage is suppose to be final – one and done. If you are this easily shaken from your current path, even if Clark isn’t the one, you aren’t solid enough in your feelings for your fiancé to make a life-long commitment.
Best of luck in this challenging time!
my first question is how have you been waiting for two years but never had a single talk of marriage before? or was he leading you on and lying?
An anonymous email with no actual claims, just a negative remark? I would actually rate this below “generic 'your mama” joke graffiti on a men's room wall” for how serious I would take this. Whatever.
First you need to change ALL your passwords. Immediately! Turn the location of your phone off. If you have an iPhone, you can check for AirTags. I think it’s done through either the Bluetooth or the Wi-Fi, but you can google it. If you have an android, there’s an app you can download to check for Apple AirTags. Don’t go there again, block him, on EVERYTHING!!! Google can walk you through all of the steps to check for tracking devices. But check the inside compartments of your car doors, your trunk, under your seats, in your purse. They’re really small round white things about the size of a quarter. Also open the hood of your car, and under the wheel wells. They’re really easy to hide, or you can the car to a mechanic or dealership and explain the situation and they can check for you. But google the how to, if it alerts you there’s an AirTag, and you can’t find it, definitely have other people help you find it.
You can throw it away or, drop it on the floor of a bus, somewhere no one will see it. But I’d just take it to the police, honestly and allow them to handle it!
Has he never heard of a prenup?
Although, nah it doesn’t make sense. Because why would she invite me and him together in the first place. She only disinvited me when he stated he „wasn’t a fan of mine“.
Sounds like he has a good “vibe” then aha
The only logical reason I can think of for her actions is that she then wouldn't have to 'juggle' both of you at the same time. Especially if y'all had bad blood.
Interesting how different American culture is. Here, we don’t really care where or when people move away.
Like come on man you’re doing nothing with your life except trolling Reddit. That’s fucking pathetic.
Your first message was the inbred kids and the poverty kids felt most likely
Enjoy living hand to mouth you pos
Are you sure he was actually cheated on and not that the girl he was dating got tired of his controlling bs and moved on to someone that treats her better?
Just trying to understand the numbers…
OP said $150,000 is what the Fiancé actually has, on his own, to contribute to the down payment.
OP answered (multiple times when asked) OP’s own contribution, is $150,000.
Average price of homes in OP’s area is $1.5 million & 20% down (required). 1.5 million X 20% = $300,000 (Fiancé $ + OP $)
So either Fiancé Brother’s money isn’t really needed OR is an additional $150,000 over/above the required down payment ($450,000) OR the OP isn’t contributing anything (-0-) themselves…in which case 2 Liars make for a perfect marriage.
It's a tough situation for sure. For many cases, the first time someone cheats CAN be for the first time. What does that say about them?
I was told by a good guy friend (that doesn't apply to everyone, I know) but “some people cheat because they haven't met the right one”. So it depends on you. I know many people who have cheated on prior partners but settled down for the right one. And some are serial cheaters.
It depends on you and what you determine to be their “truth”. Sometimes people only cheat on the “wrong partners” and some cheat throughout. It really depends on situation and person. In your case, do you think you can trust them? Who really knows. But it is your cross to bear. Either you cut ties now with fear of getting hurt or you let it go and maybe get hurt later. Depends what you prioritize.
She is fine living that way. You are not. Make your decision about the relationship accordingly. She's not going to change.
Yeah, I think responding to physical violence with lesser physical violence is appropriate.
Should he have just taken the hit and done nothing?
This is really sad and I'm sorry this happened. I'm glad to hear your wedding day was so important to you (as it should!) – could you and your wife plan a “re-do” with something very special amongst yourselves where you get to be more present ? You might be able to save memories in that same “wedding box in the brain” maybe ?
These are all you problems. Get. Therapy.
The amount is not useful if you don’t know where they on-line. Cost of living can be 2 or even 3 times as much in some locations than others. The biggest expense being cost of housing.
Enjoy it. It’s great when we are really comfortable with someone who we’ve just met. Don’t overthink this.
Thank you x
No ma’am, don’t let him take advantage of you like that. Taking PTO off of your job to help him, sweating and laboring in very hot weather, only being taken to a deli/diner dinner after all that nude work…you have every right to be upset. If you don’t say anything now, this cycle will continue.
How is it ours ours? She's not asking him for logins and membership on all of his accounts.
Just on top of everything else and how shitty this is especially for your SO not to be backing up their partner, possibly try secretly audio recording next time you and John are alone. No one can say “I didn’t say this” and your partner will get the jist of what’s going on. But I do want to reiterate that this is not how a partner is supposed to react in a situation like this, and you are right to feel hurt by it.
His ex is his first choice, and it's who he spent Valentine's Day with, flowers included. You got a “break” and a few little presents, just enough to keep you confused. You're his backup. Stop calling yourself picky if this is what you're willing to put up with.
Picky is finding a good person, a person who will put you first and not make you question your importance. Also, once you do find this person, don't play games with him. Have an actual relationship and not a situationship. Otherwise, you're just playing games.
That's a point, yeah! I felt I had to respect his feelings a lot even once split as it was a sensitive time and we didn't have a clean cut break. He said he would wait around for me to make up my mind about trying again but it was very stressful. He pushed the other person I was seeing out of my life and we got back together.
You should be paid. He isn’t working for free, why should you?
Sorry for being so abrasive but pls respect yourself enough to stop putting up with this stuff. Also if you’re not, get a therapist to help you navigate your dating journey from this point on
What are you doing with a 44 yr old? Obviously he's a piece of shit (confirmed by reading the rest of your post)
Sue for more. Especially OP’s contribution during the marriage. A good lawyer will sort her out.
Exactly. He is entitled to as much consideration when living there as she is. More, considering he’s subsidizing her. If she doesn’t like the terms she should walk away.
Exactly. He is entitled to as much consideration when living there as she is. More, considering he’s subsidizing her. If she doesn’t like the terms she should walk away.
Um. Why on earth are you with this woman? I'd find her toxicity just as regards strangers on the street to be offputting enough, but her seriously expecting you to gain weight so that she doesn't have to be “the fat one”? Bonkers levels of toxic. This is how she thinks of you, as a pawn to help maintain her fantasy that she is healthy. I'm assuming she has other redeeming qualities, but the fact you're not mentioning any of them paints a picture.
If you aren't fully on board, do not do this. It will ruin the relationship.
Not everyone is cut out for this type of experience.
Ah man, that sucks, but at least take the lesson for the next one. All you can do now is be better.
dump him and get a cat lol
Very hot block, you don't need that shit.
Very hot block, you don't need that shit.
You do the right thing. You have a duty of care with respect to the suicidal thoughts; so suggest he talks to someone professional; share it with a trusted friend or family member etc. But also make it clear – sensitively but firmly – that you do not want to continue the relationship. That is something he will have to come to terms with, upsetting as it may be.
What's the alternative? Continue it forever? Eventually he'll clock you're not fully invested and that'll become the next thing he becomes upset about. What will you do then?
End this before it becomes a saga.
Look for food recovery groups on facebook for your neighborhood.
We do have one such committed group on Facebook for our town.
Or look for a dumpster diving group, if that exists.
Or ask him to just take it down to the streets and as people if the want it.
I totall get where you come from and why you are so very upset about him throwing food away.
There are so many people going hungry even in highly industrialised countries who would gladly take his overmuch food out of his hands.
Even friends or neigbors would willingly drop by and take it if he only asked!
D:
That’s the most troubling thing… just a few weeks ago he was bringing up plans about us moving across the country to Utah together…we were looking at townhomes, etc. 🙁
Some Hawaiian cruises sail from California. You can even cruise to England. You can drive to Key West.
Maybe she needs a romantic gesture?
Have you considered that you may need a good therapist more than you need an immature cheating girlfriend? No seriously.
The reality of his character is on display for you see. You ignore it at your own peril. There is no way that a pregnant woman suffering from rejection and fear of the future isn't going to be a bit irrational. The abandonment is all on him. He did it once. He'll do it again.
yes you are 100% correct.
Once you turn 18 all the joys of your childhood must be forgotten. You are not allowed to rest relax and have fun. You must just watch news programs and listen to public radio, don't you even dare listen to any music you did when you were in high school, that's for children. Obviously a successful adult cannot hold a job if they have hobbies such as video games to bring them happiness, they have to be working or thinking about work 24/7.
/s
No. Touching your body is completely inappropriate. His hand sat on your knee for 20 seconds? Noooooo. I would start looking for other employment.
Agreed, I am also a childfree person but, I couldn't let a kid I was close to, get absorbed into the system if I knew I could help them.
i agree. i will discuss it longer next time for sure, and take your advice on switching the convo. thank you!
i’m hoping that since they recently got a new therapist, maybe they will truly work on it now. i really love them, and it’s something i used to be okay with looking the other way. i just worry when we on-line together, it may get worse
It is not conservative to react negativly to what she said. I grew up in a society that is very open and welcoming to sex. I would be chocked if that came out of any partners mouth unless it was specifically invited because both partners in that couple enjoys talking about previous experiences.
I think you handled it perfectly, even though you got made you waited and brought it up in a civil matter. Hopefully she will respect you and our boundary from now on.
This is for you and a therapist. No 300 word answer is going to change you overnight.
Time, building of trust, and therapy are you cure.
give him a goddamn break, it hasn't even been a year yet
There's nothing that can be done
He should report her reaching out to him
Why isn’t it up to him to avoid upsetting the child with conflict when he’s the one yelling? That’s why they’re upset. He is the source.
I don’t know dude. Nobody I would call my partner would do this to me. She clearly has very little respect for you.
So completely selfish, ugh. Upgrade him to blocked lol doctor's orders. Tell him it's because you're not interested in being involved with a selfish person who doesn't know how to communicate and if he tries to sling you any bs it's a case of “that's fine! I'm just not interested” 🙂
I always remind myself- if someone is no longer treating you well and you insist on pursuing them hoping they will change, it's usually an indication of something going on within you, not your feelings for them. People make “plans” all the time it's called future faking and it's designed to lower your guard. Once again, BEEN THERE!
Here's a bonus story that might make you feel better since I'm sorry he's turned out to be so crappy:
Once I planned a trip to go see a guy who started acting weird but kept telling me he was “tired”. When I got there he told me he had actually been dating a sex worker but since he was jealous of her clients he decided to keep me on the back burner then inform her of my existence the day before I arrived. She dumped him. I dumped him. But I really should have paid attention to the way he was treating me long before I booked a ticket. So don't be like me! Kick the unworthy to the curb before you book a ticket and ALWAYS believe actions over words.
That's the part of the definition wherein the word is used in a sentence. Thus, it follows the definition.
Totally.
I once met a guy who was so very married that he “we'ed” every single sentence.
That's quite an ingenious way to push off unwanted attention.
This analogy just cracked me up
You did the very hot part once, do NOT put yourself through this again. You said it yourself, you can't trust him and you will always have that lingering nagging doubt in the back of your mind and for a very good reason.
If I were you, I would focus on making yourself happy. You have likely spent a lot of time and energy worrying about him and his problems that you haven't focused on yourself in a very long time. Because with such a major issue hanging over your lives who had the time to worry about you and your needs and desires? Well now it's time for you. Focus on you and the things that make you happy outside of being with him. And then, after you find what makes you happy, you guys can take a realistic look of how/if he would fit into your life in a healthy way.
There are so many people out there that will lift you up and be a light in your life and the same goes for him. You do not need to saddle yourself to him out of guilt or feeling like you've wasted time/money on him. It's shitty, but it happens. Sometimes we just need to cut our losses and learn when to walk away. And imagine how much more you would waste on him all over again if you let him back into your life.
Act on this, now. Before the love bombing starts, while your eyes and mind are clear, get yourself and those babies away from this man. ❤️
She cheated on you for 6 months, she made the decision to betray you for 6 months! You ended the relationship and had a ONS and please don’t blame the alcohol you’re old enough to know what you are doing. This sounds like this wasn’t true love for her or else she wouldn’t have to go “console” a friend + she’s still trickle truthing you! There’s no way 2 adults are secretly meeting up just to “talk”. Leave this behind or you will regret getting back with this traitor cheater.
It sounds like this man likes you for you. Physical intimacy is an extension or expression of emotional intimacy in a healthy relationship. What you have here is a healthy relationship not solely centered around a single aspect of intimacy (sex). I recommend individual therapy to address your anxieties especially those tied to your self worth being associated with sexual attractiveness.
I think you are overthinking it. Sometimes it's better to not question a good thing. The fact that he is not pushy for sex does not mean he is any less interested. You two seem to have a great thing going.
You could tell him that you are very self-conscious and that it would help if he compliments you more. Make it a positive suggestion and not a demand. If he is not someone who usually compliments then encourage and don't criticise when he tries. A lot of men are not great at giving compliments so look at his actions instead: He does a lot things that show he cares deeply for you.
If you really want to treat him, and feel pretty at the same time, you can always look into something sex to wear when you get it on. I know it is difficult if you are self-conscious but the reward can be great.
Hope it helps.
Without the context of what exactly you said to your friend about your husband it is very hot to make a good judgment, but it does seem like you having issues with everyone here is the common denominator. If you felt disrespected, have a mature conversation about it with your friend
100% this.
If you can in some way apologize to Allison (make it clear that this is just to apologize/explain, not to get back together) then do so.
There's no coming back from this. She didn't just sabotage your relationship with Allison, but she had no problemlabeling her own son as a cheater. She ruined your reputation. She hurt Allison who is an innocent in all this . And she hurt you.
Leave him and give Sarah your #, she is 23 a grown adult and she can reach you if she wants too
Honestly it sounds like you just aren't very close friends with Sarah anymore.
I wouldn't say anything until / unless she does. Odds are she'll see Jack in the wedding photos, and if she's even got a basic grasp of logic she'll understand that Jack being there meant she couldn't attend.
I think this is one of those boundaries or 'lines in the sand' that differ between relationships, and should probably be discussed between the partners. Some people might not care to know who their partners slept with before. Others may want to know, but don't mind that person still being in their partners life. Others may not be comfortable with that.
I really don't think theres a definitive answer either way, and I don't think OP or her partner are necessarily in the wrong for their actions. Depending how her partner reacts, they may just have discovered a difference/incompatibility in how they view/treat this particular point.
Sounds like he does not have a great relationship with his dad. If he was talking to his dad. Ask to see his texts with Katie?
It doesn't bother me if my bf does.. I watch it too. But we also both prioritize having a healthy sex life between us as well.
OP, you're an asshole.
You said it’s only tolerated in predominantly white countries I told that that is a lie cause there are non predominantly white countries that do except trans people. Just because Middle Eastern Countries and Countries in Africa are less accepting, which by the way those countries aren’t monoliths that all people living there think the same, doesn’t mean it’s just predominantly white countries
Depends if she wants to keep him. I'm assuming she does from the fact she posted on here?
Okay but OPs partner wants 30 people to go camping for his, and knows that not all of that number are experienced campers.
Could be a incompatibility to his pheromones. Studies have show that people we are not compatible with smell bad to us and the opposite. Something to do with immune systems.
You would be surprised, Drs do all kinds of shit. They aren't saints. It's like thinking police never break the law out of uniform
Let me, guess you haven't communicated them to her? People are no mind readers, you shouldn't bottle down your issues, but address them as they come. This gives your partner opportunity to improve, as they would likely change their behaviours as to not upset you. The same goes the opposite way as well of course. This is how relationship work.
Was he celibate during your time apart? If no he’s being a hypocrite.
Is he blaming you for his issue? It’s not your responsibility to make him accept that the past is the past.
You broke up for a reason, maybe that reason was that he’s a controlling ass that projects his problem into you and making it your fault?
Oh cool! I remember being VERY surprised when I studied in Canada for a year that none of my peers seemed to know about them, especially considering how dang cold it gets there, and assumed it was a generic “north America hasn't got on the very hot water bottle bandwagon” thing! Must be either Canada or Toronto specific
Female, and had trouble with this same thing he’s got going on. It made me sad to think of my partner with other people. This has taken a lot of personal work, acceptance, talking it through with him, and therapy too. It takes work, but I wanted to work through it for both of us. I hope that he can seek some professional help to help yalls relationship.
You’re welcome, OP Good luck.
Yeah it's a second life.
Part of a postsecondary education is to prepare students for the real working world. Unfortunately people like this “energy vampire” are fairly common in a typical office. So maybe look at this as a lesson you'll need to learn. Because whether the next psychic sponge you meet is a boss or a coworker, you'll need the skills to be professional and diplomatic with that person. For better or worse, we can't sanitize the world to suit our desires. Mastering the skill of coping with the unpleasant is a necessity in life. Good luck
Deny
Attack
Reverse
Victim &
Offender
I agree but do you think she was on birth control and he wore a condom? Both together wont put you in this predicament.
Yes, I can see that now after her most explicit comparison. But I won’t immediately assume the worst of everyone.
Quite possibly. What do you want now, given that he’ll not be there?
You were married when he cheated, right?
Yeah. My dad initiated the divorce and backed out once mom finally agreed, and then the judge finalized it because he wouldn't show up to court.
There's 5 of us, dad. That takes effort.
So because of the in and out nature of their relationship, he's backed up quite a bit for all of us kids.
I'm so I didn't read the whole thing but just why? Don't you feel super gross being with him? I couldn't sleep with that
We obviously can't possibly know the answer to your question. It's more than likely absolutely nothing. I'd say you're in the wrong, but this wasn't exactly hidden. It's actually sort of surprising that it took 7 years for you to stumble upon it.
Either way, I again doubt there's at all a concern. But the answer is to ask her. It's your wife. Communication is key.
Yeah, that’s why I clearly told him that I can’t tell him what to do and if he wants to go he’s free to. But I think leaving me alone and giving me the silent treatment for who knows how long, while I’m already feeling bad and told him about my concerns is just mean. That’s the fact that makes me overthink the most. We usually are very talkative and text a lot even when he’s out for drinks etc. our conversation wasn’t being rude or anything we just normally talked about the situation and then he just vanished.