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2 thoughts on “Emmily-brontez online sex chats for YOU!”
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I fear engulfment becaues similar to the article, I had a controlling mother who didn't let me do anything I wanted to do or have my own opinions. Basically she wanted to mould me into someone she wanted – and even do things I was fearful of. So similar to how people with bpd have unstable identity, I have an unstable identity, so hanging out with someone too long and I start feeling like I'm doing what they want and not what I want. But figuring out when I go from something that we both watned to do to something only they want to do, I'm not intune to that turning point. Nor how to communicate it properly or set the boundaries. Mix that in with abandonment and it makes it even harder to set boundaries.
Abandonment I honeslty have no idea where that came from tbh. I dig through my memories and nothing major there. I did move around a lot, I do remember being sad that I lost friends as moved, but that didn't create abandomnent I don't think, that just created fear of attachment. I don't recall anyone ever leaving me, as it was more me leaving them.
Yes my anxiety does lead to intrusive thoughts, and yes, I previously would just ignore the intrusive thoughts . In the past 2 years I've let my intrusive thoughts take more control to see what happens. This has led to greater impulsivity and all sorts of stuff. Reeling it back in, like you said is not a healthy answer.
It's getting to an entirely different state of mind – which I've seen glimpses of, but haven't figured out how.
Sound hedonistic