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21 thoughts on “Connie-cutee live webcams for YOU!”
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It sounds like you split your kids with your ex, while your current partner has her child 100% of the time, is this correct? If so, it’s natural that you would have a closer relationship with her child than your partner would have with yours. You are likely spending your “off-time” with your partner and her child and then your “on-time” alone with your kids. Everyone on here claiming that you’re giving up time with your kids needs to calm down and stop assuming things. If this is the situation then you are spending lots of quality time with your kids and then doing some soft integrated things as a group. Your partner didn’t say anything terrible about your daughter either, just that some of her behavioural issues give her concerns, which to me reads like she doesn’t agree with how you handle the situation. Her concern about integrating may be more about your different parenting styles than about your actual daughter. This set up can work, there are many different types of families. You just need to decide if it works for you.
Your relationship is over bro. There’s not a whole lot you can do here but pick up the pieces and move on. You and her grow apart and that is okay. You’re going to be okay. It’s going to hurt and you need to cherish the good times you had and mourn this loss. Visions for life can differ, especially when in relationships at younger ages.
My suggestion is to handle this with grace. It’s unfair how she treated you, but you now have the blessing of being able to put the energy you were giving to her into yourself and propel yourself further in achieving your hopes and dreams. Best wishes bro.
No
Wow, thanks a lot. He just figured it out.
Updateme!
His mom specifically asked I not so any videos that feature him pre transition (he had asked her to take down family photos of them in their house and such). Sorry, I should have mentioned that and will update the post.
I was sympathetic until you said he found you at his brother’s house, you in the shower and him in a towel. Sounds like something out of a rom com where the partner gets caught cheating lol. I’m not saying you did anything with the brother, but it looks bad especially if he’s been told he’s infertile and you have 3.5 kids. Also, moving in with the brother after the fact is bad optics. Is there anywhere else you can stay temporarily?
Unfortunately the only thing you can really do at this point is paternity tests for the kids. Even if you’re totally innocent the trust is broken. That’s very hot to come back from. Not impossible, but it’ll take a lot of work if you and your husband choose to go that route.
5’1” and 150 is 100% overweight. i’m not saying it’s bad if that’s what u like, but it’s a lot for someone that short.
You are essentially cheating on both of them and they both deserve the full truth. Sounds like you should be single, work through therapy before getting involved and bringing anyone in on your indecisiveness.
I agree with this. Frankly, I don't think he ever left his wife. I think OP is being manipulated.
I think I’ve seen that movie
This is like the saying
“you can get the guy out of the ghetto but you can't get the ghetto out of him”
Nonsense. There was a foundation of a lie, yes. But that doesn’t mean that any good she has done for the past ten years is part of some devious plot.
Believe it or not, people in their mid-20s make stupid mistakes and learn from them and change. The post makes it sound like that’s exactly what this woman has done. The good deeds and life built are not a lie, even if she wasn’t totally honest about everything 10 years ago.
They should have a family discussion about it. Correct. Although I think coming from the teenagers perspective, it was or would be less of an awkward conversation when it is just a question versus an entire family debate. I don't think asking asking a question makes him a child. Depends how it was done. I guess.
Well that's a given.
“Monogamy is the construct of the patriarchy, designed to limit women's sexual freedom”
Well, fuck, I never thought of it that way. Gotta go tell my philandering buddy that he's actually quite the feminist!!
Sorry for this situation, OP. But if she is literally laughing at you when you say you don't want an open relationship, it's already over and you should move on.
He started treating you differently when you engaged, because he felt that he trapped you and he was now able to show his real self. All that you “know” about this man from before the engagement, was an act, it was him faking, all the time, to be a person that he is not. He is absolutely not the person you fell in love with, that person does not exist. The real person is what he's showing now: the controlling, abusive, angry man ready to sabotage your life and your livelihood and keep you literally trapped in the interior of your house 24/7 at his personal service.
Unfortunately there's nothing that you can say to him that will change this, he has been waiting, faking a personality until he felt he didn't have to anymore, and the real him is a man who doesn't care about you as a person, only as a possession. And he will do all of this to your child and make your child greatly suffer with a lot of abuse and trauma, I know this first hand because I was the abused, traumatized child in this exact situation. My “father” (he never cared for me one day of his life) did something very similar to my mother. The man is nearly 90 years old, my mom is still married to this abuser, and he never changed and only escalated his abuse towards her and towards me, no matter how much we both spoke to him. Abusers don't want to listen, they just want to continue to abuse.
You have two choices here: make an escape plan, and leave, get a job in another city, deal with this man in court regarding your child, or stay with him and become my mother and letting your child experience the decades of abuse that I experienced. I'm so sorry, but there are no other options, there are no magical words that you can say to an abuser that decided to abuse.
My friend is addicted to Adderall. She is acting the same way your husband is. I keep my distance. I really hope things work out. He has to want to change and until then there isn't much you can do. Codependency is also similar to an addiction.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
We've been married 14 years, most of which has been full of trauma. My husband is an alcoholic, now sober for a few years, but during the bad times he was extremely verbally abusive. I chose to stay by his side and help him through things since I knew of his abandonment issues. (Parents divorced/dad & brother left him) I was ok making that sacrifice even though it drained me emotionally and I wasn't getting what I wanted from the relationship; I chose to just get through it. Fast-forward to recent times we're getting along better without alcohol, but instead of growing a loving, healthy relationship, it seems to be dying. Sex life non existent. He won't touch me. But constantly complains that he needs sex and we don't do it enough. It wasn't adding up to me…
Then he said it: He is no longer physically attracted to me. I was visibly hurt. He went further as to say he's noticed I've gained weight and should consider going to the gym which made me angry. Then he added that as a wife I should want to try and look attractive for my husband!
The audacity!
After I imagined kicking his balls up through the top of his head and into space, I got really sad. If I'm honest I'm devastated. I couldn't eat for 2 days because of the emotions I was feeling. I absolutely hate that he felt it was ok to say those things to me, the person who has remained by his side through a nightmare of an abusive relationship, (to which even he admits how horrible he was to me) After all that he doesn't see my value!! He reduces me down to being “not attractive enough for HIM!”
While it's true I'm not as skinny as I once was, (neither of us are!) I don't consider myself to be awful looking. I'm average sized, I bounce between size 10 and 12 in pants. When I wear lingerie or dress up to go out to dinner with him, I don't get any compliments from him. I rely on myself to feel good and it's actually strangers who give me the extra boost. I often receive kind words from strangers like, “I just have to tell you, you are so beautiful” or “those colors are gorgeous on you, you're glowing!” etc… And this is not me bragging, I'm no Zendaya, but it is true that strangers really do notice and say things to me which makes me feel good, but I want that reassurance to come from my husband, the one person who's opinion matters to me.
I already felt deprived of a good relationship while he was actively drinking/being abusive. Now we have potential to thrive and I feel robbed again because what he said to me made me feel embarrassed for him to see me very hot, I cringe at the thought of him touching me, and each day that passes I'm more repulsed by him because of what he said.
I'm trying to decide if I just need time to get my head right, and maybe I'm overreacting to his comments. I kinda feel like my anger is justified, but don't know how to get rid of the feeling of not wanting him to touch me.
He also watches porn which has been a big issue for years and only adds to my low self esteem around him. I can walk into a room full of strangers wearing a bikini and feel more confident with them than I do with my husband. I'm just trying to navigate my anger/hurt/shame/sadness. If anyone relates, what helped your situation improve?
So, you’re only happy with your wife when your house is clean, your meals are being cooked from scratch and your wife isn’t over weight.
Yuk. She deserves better, someone who loves her unconditionally, for example doesn’t call her a monster when she’s pregnant with his child
maybe she never “trained” him
It is not your job to train him in basic social skills. Let this one go.