NATASHA-POLYY on-line sex chats for YOU!
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29 thoughts on “NATASHA-POLYY on-line sex chats for YOU!”
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4 years, so since the kid was at least 10? And he's been lying about chilling with this known pedo.
This is the moment for you to read back your post and consider what advice you would offer someone who came to you with this situation.
Also, really would appreciate if you'd update on how the kid is doing. Has it stopped? Has she been to therapy? Does she still have to see him? Like that's a huge missing piece in this story. Not that it determines what you should be doing, but seriously, that cousin belongs in jail.
Tl;Dr Leave his multi-year lying pedo enabling ass. Update on the kid cause wtf
She’s going to be with him even if you say no. She’s just going to lie to you. Go home and start divorce proceedings. She’s not worth it.
Basically all that matters is this. How OP feels about it.
Hello, so I've been reading through some of your posts as well as trying to read the many comments on everything. You are doing the smart thing by reaching out for help and support, people need that and you aren't asking for too much. I want to stress that we are from different backgrounds and in different periods of our lives, so whatever I say may or may not be helpful.
I myself am in my 30's, I started college in Mechanical Engineering and ended with an Information Systems degree through the Business College. I struggled the entire way through, I think it took me 7 or 8 years for my 4 year bachelors. I failed so many courses and barely finished my degree, like I failed one of my final classes and luckily was able to find some money to pay for one on-line course to barely pass. I failed Calculus 1 and 2 at least once and never passed Calc 3, Differential Equations, I retook each of my physics courses, and failed Linear Algebra like 3 times. I remember my last semester in my engineering courses, I barely left my apartment, I was so ill thinking about how I failed and I didn't know what to do and that my career prospects would be over and I'd be screwed. I took two years off between switching majors and I am still paying the debt on all of it. And I say that and it's still very hot to imagine just how traumatized I was and just how bad my mental health was during those times. Today I have an actual diagnosis of Clinical Depression and Generalized Anxiety Disorder and I may even be diagnosed with some other Neurodivergent disorder eventually too.
I specify that because as much as I empathize with your situation, because I am not in your shoes or in the trenches with you – it can be very hot to offer the best help and I may miss the mark, especially because I don't know your family dynamics or your cultural background. So you don't have to accept my help in full or at all, you get to decide what makes sense and I bet that's exhausting. I think by and large you are doing the right thing by reaching out for help and support even here on Reddit. That was the most common denominator in my failure, I didn't believe I was worthy of help and I didn't even try to find help during my worst days. I was 20 at the time with no true understanding of what my mental health struggles really were. I still struggle today and work with a therapist.
So First, I'd like to validate that what you are going through is hot and difficult and traumatic, at least putting myself in your shoes it feels that way. It may be very hot to feel this way as the world is very good at making everyone else's lives seem more difficult. When we are depressed our brains are almost wired to make it seem like it should be easy and we just end up spiraling even more. The brain is wired in a way to protect us from harm, but it can be really stupid in the ways it tries to do this. If you ever want to understand this deeper there is a book called Internal Family Systems
So, to that point I really want to stress and recommend you keep speaking to a counselor and working with the doctors. You can even tell them you had some family pressure to ignore the help. Doctors and Therapists want to help and are willing to help. Maybe it's dumb to offer a platitude, but its been a guiding frame of thought in my life when I seek advice, guidance, or approval from people including loved ones and it's this:
People do the best they can with the information they have
Yea, maybe it's not so profound, but I try to think about this in the myriad of ways it can be applied. Its both about having a healthy amount of compassion for where people come from and who they are, while simultaneously being justifiably skeptical for your own well being. Its about knowing that even though I use that phrase I don't have the information you do, nor do you have mine. Perhaps your parents have never needed or valued therapy for themselves. Perhaps they made their way through life without certain medications and their beliefs prevent them from understanding tried and true methods of mental healing. They may not have the frame of reference in why your course load is difficult or just how difficult programming is. That is the information they have, and they are trying to the best they can with it… although it certainly doesn't feel that way. Their parental style is also the information they have from their own parents and culture. Some may call that Generational Trauma and you – very unfortunately – may find yourself at the crossroads of the way they grew up and were taught vs the modern world that you now find yourself in. But you get to decide what information best suits you, and if your parents or anyone else doesn't agree, well at least having the understanding of where they have been won't hurt as much as the disappointment and frustration.
The Doctors and Therapists also have the kind of information and training that is specifically geared towards helping you. And in time you may even find a therapist who can relate even more to your cultural background, certainly that is the goal with therapy and mental health in the long run. Find the best therapist and people that you relate to and that you like. Because here is another tried but true platitude:
It's the relationship that heals
And you deserve to be happy, supported, and whole. So Secondly, the next thing I want to offer is to always keep giving it one more step, one more day, one more week, and to always keep trying. It is absolutely ok to change direction, it is absolutely ok to fail and falter. The most successful people and businesses have failed countless times. But it was always about finding support, trying again, or moving on and trying something else. That said it's fully ok to take a break in between steps, as much as you need.
Lastly, regarding your parents. I think you are going to need some time on this and with a professional. Blocking you in your time of need, ignoring and belittling your pain, and telling you not to follow a doctors advice are all fairly abusive behaviors. There may be some cultural reasons or generational trauma, but that doesn't mean you should experience that. Ask yourself if you had a child going through this situation if you would really want them to feel the pain you are going through, would you do the same to them. I can't feel what it's like to feel obligated to your parents right now with money involved and to stick with a major you don't enjoy let alone to be in college and hate it. I would feel very trapped and hopeless and unheard. But this is where the University Counselors and Academic Advisors can absolutely help you. And even then if it doesn't work out you can find support outside of the University like from the government, job agencies, from women's support groups, perhaps even some cultural support networks.
I still struggle today but eventually I found some success, and I even taught a coding bootcamp specializing in Data Analytics and Visualization. We made the kinds of graphs and displays that communicate difficult information in a digestable or interactive way. I spent a lot of time helping students work through their problems and setting up their machines to cooperate. We did the kind of coding that was fun but we also did things that mattered to the world. One of my student groups did an analysis on the racial bias of an algorithm that predicts if a Criminal will re-offend in a time period. It was always inspiring that they chose to do things that mattered to the world. My students have found lucrative positions and careers and the bootcamp was only 6 months. Not all of them are programming either, some work with people and documentation and other tools. I say all of that because it is possible and I do think you can succeed and you are worthy of it all too. Study groups, Tutors, emailing the Professors as often as you need. Remember that you are taking on the debt that pays their salary and the Counselors salary. You deserve support, don't hesitate to reach out.
Remember to take breaks, remember to eat protein rich breakfasts, and please remember to sleep even if it means taking a long walk or drinking kefir or taking ambien to feel drowsy. Our brain continues to work while we are asleep and we need that sleep for so many reasons. Take care and don't hesitate to send a message.
UpdateMe!
The relationship is still very, very new. 2 months is a little soon to be all out extravagant gift giving really especially when he's said he's not into gifts on either side of the coin.
Maybe with it being so new he also didn't have a clue what to get you and didn't want to mess up by getting you the wrong thing as well.
It is interesting you keep referencing the kids choosing to be with mum over and over again – clearly you have an issue with it.
You don't know how to make cookies? You do know that Google provides all sorts of recipes, cookies are easy to make and don't take a lot of ingredients or work. I think if you wanted to connect with those children that is something easy for you to do so they could have felt welcome.
Do you often choose to not learn things?
Your first Christmas together? You married a man with 2 kids after only a few months together? You marrie
The children's presents should have been put away to not be a painful reminder.
It seems to me that this is either a time you forgive him and continue with your recently said vow of “till death do you part” or this is the unstable, crumbling end of a relationship that wasn't a good idea in the first place.
Sorry if I sound harsh, I don't mean this badly but I'm going to be straight with you.
I am so sorry for you and everyone going through this. My parents are in a very similar situation, and it is naked. My parents divorced 12 years ago, I was 27, and it was very similar circumstances.
The best advice I can give is to tell your mom that your relationship with anyone else isn't her business. You are an adult. Yes, what your dad did was incredibly hurtful to her, and likely ruined her life. You don't have to condone it. But just like your parents wouldn't cut you off for making a mistake like that, you can't cut one of them off.
She may have the moral high ground here, but that doesn't mean that everyone has to do as she says. It's very likely that she fears being replaced.
Do not talk to her about your dad, at all. Don't tell her about your relationship, and don't let her discuss how he has wronged her, in the past or now. Don't post on SM about time with either of them. Suggest that she attend therapy, or at least that her friends are the ones who should be the ones to hear that. It is totally inappropriate for you to bear that burden because you are an adult, but it is really common for people whose parents divorce when they are adults. Suggest that she block him on SM, but you can't make her do any of these things. And she can't control your relationship with your dad. Reassure her that you still love her, and will be there for her. That no one will replace her.
Okay one thing I will say is that people often change during cancer treatments. I saw it with my brother – like he stopped caring as much and he actually did some things that really hurt me. But after treatment, he was back to normal.
yeahhhh you DO have anxiety. Separation anxiety to be more specific, it would seem. It is good you recognize this as abnormal because it ISNT normal or healthy. Dont let it fester or get worse, as extremely dependent partners can truly sabotage a loving relationship. My advice: therapist. Counciler. Professional help. It is the healthiest and best way to deal with this. If you cant afford those (either in time or money, or anything) get a book on the subject by a trusted author. Get a book about advice on separation anxiety and how to deal with it. Audio books are also available if reading doesnt bode well with you. I hope you nip this anxiety in the butt!
I’m kinda with you here… as much as the other top comments seem like the less dramatic options…I don’t think I could ever get over being compared in this way to an ex. Just the fact that he wrote it down is troubling.
Also, did he write it down and then leave it somewhere that it could be found? I guess I’m curious if OP was snooping, or he left it somewhere that she would easily find it. But also, is that his entire complete list? To me, if there’s nothing on the list about the ex being overly dramatic or toxic, then why is he romanticizing his past relationship and downplaying his current one?
If a partner of mine seriously accused me of incest/sexually assaulting my disabled sister, I don't know if there's anything they could do to make up for that.
First of all, dump her. She is either too stupid or doesn’t give AF about you for real.
Secondly, don’t stress too naked about oral herpes. This is not some serious. 20 years ago I used to see plenty people with a cold sore when in college or HS. YSK 67 percent of people on the world have HSV 1!
She is very insecure as well as shallow maybe niave more than shallow but your sister is a human and – she’s your sister! Love and compassion and a wonderful father and husband who would have the heart to care for her if she became unable to care for her own hygiene needs. I hope you find a woman who better matches your golden heart
There's nothing to be confused about here – He has no respect for you and he is deliberately trying to get you pregnant.
You need to stand up for yourself and say a very firm NO. No sex without a condom until you get a prescription for a suitable method of birth control. That is assuming he doesn't become your Ex Boyfriend -you really should reconsider this relationship since he cannot be trusted with this basic form of respect.
Who cares! Grow up, and move the hell on! I don't need or want his life story! I'm done with this. You got issues.
Dude k never said that. I said it seems men in my age group are less open to new friends.
I’ll take on board that maybe it’s in my head but idk man it’s just my experience
Eh you agreed to it so you are partially to blame.
No sorry but you don't have the right to ask him not to go to gym because there are other females there. Maybe he feels shy or insecure to work out in front of you, and maybe one day he will work out with you, but for now if this is going to help him then leave him be. I went to the gym for YEARS without my partner and no one ever hit on me. I can guarantee you 99% of people are there to work out, and the rest are there to play around.
Considering the new context OP provided through the comments, it doesn't anymore. The fact that he implied to have been cheating on his ex with the new wife is much more important.
But in general, people who post here after marrying someone much younger than they are get surprised and even offended when their existing child doesn't recognize someone only a few years older than them as a parental figure.
OP you are in a tricky place. Your wife might come back…sometime in the future. When people are like how your wife described, they want to know why and how to on-line happily. If the trip goes very well there is a good chance she won’t come back (at least to your current setup). When people go on a mid life crisis trip, they realize that a trip is temporary and that isn’t enough for some people. Let her go (you have no choice honestly) just start implementing protections for finances so she only digs into an account that is designated for this trip. Next make plans for both her coming back and leaving. Even if she does come back, know that even a month long trip will most likely be a stop gap.
Thank you for your kind words! Yes, he hasn't owned up to it or apologized for anything. I was always the one chasing after him, he was always too busy for me. I thought I was over it, but things like this happen and it feels like I'm taking 3 steps backwards. I think it isn't worth it as well, I was never extremely excited or happy about meeting him or his family. Maybe it's time to really let go.
I'm sorry to word it that way but grow a freaking pair and kick her out. Ask friends to come over and act as witnesses, and throw her shit outside. Change the locks. Contact an attorney, serve her an eviction notice.
Get her out of YOUR place. Dont sleep on the couch, dont go nowhere. Its your house, and shes out.
Okay well dumping things on others just so you feel better isn’t the solution. It’s just something you have to process yourself. Maybe create some distance or stop talking for a while. This is your problem and you shouldn’t make it hers.
No it's not too harsh. If there was a real requirement for him to be on his phone for emergencies, then he could use his words and tell you. And explain why.
And maybe I'm dumb but I don't see why a PhD student would need to be constantly contactable out of hours. He's not manufacturing, or operating.
I literally cannot wait until he begins to smell like an old man and she leaves him. I hope she takes him for all he's worth.
I went in for a second because I accidentally stepped in dog poo lol. During the quick rinse of my shoe was when she came in seconds later
No you weren't. She got called out on her BS and was looking for some way to defend herself so she attacked your character. This happens all the time when people have no argument against criticism on what they have done or believe in.
She asked me to be “more of a man” and take initiative with things
So take initiative. Tell her you still love her and want to make it work. Tell her you should go to therapy together to work on communication and also to ensure she will get her needs met this time.