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  1. He obviously doesn't want more kids. It sounds like you're kind of trying to force this on him and if he sticks around he will be resentful of you and baby and feel trapped. If you want to keep your baby then you probably should not be with him anymore. I know this must be sooo naked on both of you but you each need to make the decision that's best for your selves. For you that might be keeping the baby, for him it might be not being involved outside child support. Everyone should have their choice.

  2. I’m not a man but I can give my perspective from being in a similar position, as a 26f.

    All in 13 months I met, went long distance, got engaged, broke up with my ex-fiancé. We are both in the military, we started dating in December 20 and I deployed in May 21 for 6 months. I got back home in November and by December 21 he proposed and I said yes. He was my first serious partner so I thought the fast speed was normal since we were “in love”. It wasn’t until I was really thinking about our future when I had the realisation that I was going to marry someone who id only spent 3 months in the same location with. At the start I postponed the wedding until we could be in the same state for at least 12 months, then I called it off completely because the LD was never going to end. In hindsight, I came to realise he was quite controlling and I stopped being myself to please him. We’ve been broken up for months now and I’m in such a better place mentally and physically than I had before!

    You have so much growing to do as a person, so don’t marry this dude! Cause all the opportunities to have fun and a single person with no attachments goes away. But, just be aware of the way that he might try and manipulate you to keep you around. I wrote a script and included some potential rebuttals that he could say, so I could be confident in my position to call it off!

  3. Sounds like he does not have the maturity to live with you. He blames you for everything and goes into his own space (gaming or out late drinking) to avoid responsibilities and you. It’s a one-sided relationship sadly, he doesn’t to fix his problems or the problems in the relationship. He just wants out…. Do what you must, it will only hurt you more the longer you stay together.

  4. She's not going to change and therefore she will continue to disrespect you and your relationship. IMO, she is going to throw him in your face every time you bring him up and manipulate and control the situation, you will always be the jealous and insecure BF. She is acting immature around him,because she IMO has a crush on him. I would break up with her, so she can have her platonic lover .

  5. He is someone I think is fairly narcissistic and manipulative.

    So you befriended someone you thought was a manipulative narcissist and you're surprised that they're not respectful of your relationship or your feelings. End the “friendship,” dude. He's made it clear he has zero respect for you or your girlfriend.

  6. Your husband is an .. I dont wanna be rude here but hes stupid.

    You are kind of cheating on him btw but it's totally not your fault. This was HIS kink, NOT yours. That he brought you in to and didnt set ground rules with you.

    He should be upset with himself.

    Theres also not much you can do here atleast from my perspective. He fucked up.

  7. You can always leave, but if you leave just because she gained some weight, you’re just shallow. If you really loved her, it wouldn’t matter.

  8. You can always leave, but if you leave just because she gained some weight, you’re just shallow. If you really loved her, it wouldn’t matter.

  9. Tell him he can't take care of you, if he doesn't take care of himself. It's good his Mom brought him food and he's eating.

  10. Thank you! This seems like something that's doable for me, instead of breaking up for good. You also give me hope that it is possible for him to change. Congratulations in advance on your engagement!

  11. u/Business_Cow_3939, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.

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  12. I'm not really sure I followed everything but I think you should believe her when she says she is gay. I think you should consider her a friend and accept that that's all the relationship will be. Don't hold out hope that she might be bi. Believe her and try to move on.

  13. I hate when the cheaters ask “What should I do for you?” You knew what you were doing while cheating and now you ask the person who got cheated and in pain?? F’ck that.

    He’s only sorry because he got caught. You’re young and you don’t have kids with him. So you can get rid of him and start over. You deserve someone who loves you more than his d’ck.

  14. I'm really sorry, this stings. He sounds like a loving partner. Have you talked with him and asked why he would say that? Does he understand how that makes you feel? I feel like he should just know that's hurtful, but I'm doubtful since he said the words.

  15. Sad to say I did the same stupid thing…. I cringe thinking about it. Wish I had someone telling me I was making a mistake.

  16. Stop meeting up outside of work. You’ve moved the goalposts so that now she sees it as her right and your obligation to have you as her therapist.

    When she has a meltdown tell her you don’t know what to say to her and that maybe she should talk to her mentor or whoever is leading this training as you’re in the same position as her.

    Try not to always hang out with her at work. Start mixing with other people in your course.

  17. Part of living with someone is that these things happen.

    He told you that they were in the fridge, which to me would indicate that they are up for grabs, as opposed to him saying “these two sandwiches are in the fridge AND they are for my lunch tomorrow.”

    And then you made a simple mistake by not noticing the sandwiches were different. Again, this is the stuff that happens when you share a space with someone.

    The big thing here is that you apologized and offered to replace the sandwich. You aren't “getting away” with anything, and you are offering to make your partner whole, which is all that is expected when there is a miscommunication. He isn't going to die by not having that exact sandwich at that moment, especially since he didn't even want it for dinner as he asked you to make him something else.

    So this man in stomping around the house over a free sandwich that you have offered to replace before he will even need it? Ya, I get being annoyed when food you want is gone, but like you said, he should have claimed dibs when he told you about the food, and you should have only asked IF you had discovered the food without him telling you about it (hey babe, what are these sandwiches?).

  18. Could you rent out your apartment in the building for the additional income and use the building as collateral for financing your new home. I wouldn't recommend buying anything with someone you're not married to unless you have some serious legal paperwork that discusses how the financing (ie payment responsibility) and what happens is one party wants out for any reason.

  19. I know that I’ve made the right choice because Eve there you said it dosent feel good knowing I’ll still be at home in my 30’s whereas his words were “ I’ll be fine still living at home when I’m 30” :/

  20. She already knows.

    Choose a time when the story worked well, figure a way to reset back and give it a second chance.

    Some people just aren't storytellers.

    Some are just overwhelmed by rules and numbers.

    See, I'M the dm. What I SAY goes. If the story is off the rails making Charlie the Unicorn look like some biblical telling of some story on common sense, then soo be it.

    Your 1 saving throw isn't a loss. Your swing goes wide, and you lose your balance, tumbling to the floor, falling most un-nobly upon your sword.

    As the blade pierces your armor, the tip strikes the liner in your breast-pocket. Good thing you opted for the nerdy accessories to your under-padding. Being a hardened leather under-kit, OF COURSE the lining of this pocket, used to prevent accidents from quills and etching implements, is made of the finest crafted steel.

    What better to show the practical in your soul that you constantly ignore…

    The hilt jams into the floor, the tip goes into your chest, stops abruptly, and due to your total weight, the angle and the motion of the swing, and the positioning of several celestial bodies, and one very earthen-bound, the blade snaps into 3 pieces: End, middle and hilt…..

    The middle thus being launched out at a magically unmatched rate and lodges into a tree trunk.

    The witch SMILES at the unexpected free meal and lunges forwards, but at that moment, the tree cracks…splints….she stops, somewhat taken aback….and falls….. Away from the group.

    She smiles.

    Towards the river…

    She begins to re-lunge…

    Onto a wheelbarrow's handles…

    She rises up to stab you with her dagger, its quite impressive; its made from bone, candy and flying monkey fur…

    And launches a few gallons of water back, splashing upon your sad, sad self and the witch.

    You should be dead, but you hear the gurgling sound of the witch, melting….melting…..ooooooh wadda world…..

    You open your eyes, the wind knocked out of you….crumpled up all doggy-style so death can have his way with you but he got all whiskey-dicked.

    You collapse onto your side coughing and gasping and let out a horrendous honking cough…gasp…laugh?

    A honk, none the less.

    Anytime, from THIS POINT ONWARDS, any outburst from you will ALWAYS start with a gasping-honk.

    In the future, you encounter an ogre, who upon recognizing you as part of the nytz elite recon dispatch seven, shouts out

    NERDS!!!!!!!

    (he will eventually join your order)

    You luckily survived one of the most terrible strikes of bad luck….death wont forget this either….you were right there and…..you presented soo willingly….but….the celebration from the haul of souls from your last encounter….

    The lining protected you. It protected your pocket.

    Thus, the mighty pocket protector was born….

    -now inadvertently instead of killing you, I'd force you to slowly become stereotypically nerdish in presentation, a sudden self conciousness about your honking …. Dexterity getting a modifier to more easily fail checks but with an acute overreaction… And charisma would be adjusted to both be high and low at the same time.

    If you opposed this, death would find his viagra.

    If you worked with it, I'd see where it went…

    If you totally got on board…. I'd consider future modifiers to other stats until you had both high and low or similarly modified stats…then split you into two separate characters, like twins, that you'd have to play.

    Therefore, as dm, i am god, storyteller, all of the fates, death(who has been outed as having a drinking problem…..when a dude who is just a skeleton can't bone…. there's a problem)…and whatever else that life throws your way.

    Last time i looked, that wasn't in any manual or compendium.

    Roll for initiative

  21. This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.

    I’m 38f my exhusband is 39. We were together for 15 years when he asked for a divorce. I was completely crushed. I tried everything to keep our marriage together, I told him I was willing do anything. But he didn’t want to work on it. After the divorce was finalized he started dating someone else right away (26f) and I was completely devastated. Between needing to work more to keep up with bills, as well as loosing access to a lot of my medications (without his health insurance most of them were too expensive to afford on my insurance) I fell into a deep depression. Our kids always wanted to spend time over their fathers. His new partner is much younger than me, and completely able bodied and is able to run around with them and practice sports with them and go hiking with them, all stuff that I wasn’t able to do and I don’t blame them for wanting to spend more time there. I tried to make things as fun as possible here. But it just didn’t even compare. They spend most of their time there now. It’s really hot for me but they were old enough to know what made them happiest and they made their own decision.

    Now they’re married. I’m not complaining because as a stepmother she’s amazing. She always respects me as their parent and lets me know if they’re taking them somewhere far away. She sends me pictures and updates of them every day. Shes a good person too. She’s taken me to doctors appointments before when the busses weren’t running.

    The problem is as well as my sons and husband clearly liking her better than me as well, I think my family likes her better too. And that’s really naked for me.

    Over the holidays my aunt (mothers sister) had a holiday party. It was on a day I was working, but even so, I never got an invite. I had no idea it was happening until I opened up social media and saw photos of all of them, my sons and ex and his new wife all dressed up and celebrating Christmas with MY FAMILY. Theres this one picture of my kids, Paige, and my mother all posing around the Christmas tree. You’d NEVER be able to tell she wasn’t actually my mothers daughter just from looking at that picture.

    When I asked my family about the party they said they knew I worked Saturdays and knew I wouldn’t be able to get off, so what was the point of inviting me? They thought it would just make me upset. But they did want to celebrate with the kids, so they invited them and my ex.

    Then today my mom is talking about family birthdays, she’s planning out for February (when we have a month with multiple birthdays we do one big family party). So she’s saying all the people who have birthdays in February and she lists my exhusbands new wife and says we need to find a weekend to celebrate . I was a little taken aback that we were celebrating hers too. And my mother got kind of annoyed and said “well she is part of the family now, that’s just something you need to accept.”

    I just get the feeling they like her more than me. And I get it. She’s young, pretty, very friendly and fit and personable, and I’m not. I just don’t know how to deal with feeling like I’m being replaced. Just shoved to the side. I’m probably being way too dramatic about this. I guess I’m just feeling bad for myself. I

  22. I don't think you're being dramatic at all! God this situation would be difficult for anyone to handle.

    You have every right to not feel comfortable or happy about it. The tricky part is, I don't know that there's anything you can do to change it. Instead, I would focus on yourself and your life and making some changes you can to feel happier and healthier. Your kids and family will always be your family and love you. If you feel close enough to anyone in your family you could always tell them how you feel, or ask for some reassurance. But my gut feel is still that you will be your own best ally and from focusing on your own happiness all the stuff with the new wife will bother you a lot less.

    Sending you big hugs. This is tough.

  23. Dude, you're 26 years old. Why do you still let mommy tell you how to on-line your life?

    What should you tell her? How about “it's none of your business, and this is what I'm doing with my life.”

  24. What do you do?

    You leave before you have to find out, by looking through his messages, that he went and had a great time (if you catch my drift) in Paris.

    The second I found out he was okay with sharing the bed with another woman when he won't even come see me… It would be over on the spot.

  25. Yeah doesn’t add up. 74 days ago she was going through a break up with boyfriend if 8 months ago cheated on her and her new Roomate is 27

  26. This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.

    A month ago we were at a party in a friends house, me (32F), my husband (50M) and my sister (34F). My sister drinks a lot and regularly gets so drunk she gets messy and needs to be brought home, tonight was no exception.

    A noise woke me and I went downstairs to find them having sex on the dining room floor. My sister was still obliterated so all I could do was bring her to the couch, I told him to get out of the house. She maintains she had no memory of getting home, but I can’t believe she would do this to me no matter how drunk she was.

    I can’t even look at him let alone sleep beside him and I can’t bring myself to speak to my sister. I feel I have lost everything important to me in life.

    I thought my marriage was good up to this point but I cannot believe he would sleep with my sister.

    I don’t know if there is any way back from this. What should I do?

    TLDR; my sister slept with my husband while drunk, my life is upside down and I don’t know what to do.

  27. Thank you. I know. You're right. It's naked on me because I grew up believing and witnessing one love. Cheating or leaving your s.o. was such a foreign concept. I grew up in a pocket where values like fixing your relationship was still a core value

  28. That’s an absolutely massive lie to maintain for months. I’d never be able to trust that person again. Was she thinking you’d never notice that she has no money? Where was she going for 10 hours a day? Nope, not at all something to save.

  29. I know its tough but move on…. He clearly doesn’t care enough about you… You’re young and have lots of time to date and find someone who gives a shit

  30. Of course. I can see why one wouldn’t take someone back for invading their privacy. I’m yet to get help on the trust issues I have. Things will hopefully be looking a lot brighter

  31. It’s not the same thing but when both my son’s graduated from boot camp, one Marine, one Army. There were people who had no family there for whatever reason. They were adopted for the day. I had bonus sons and celebrated the accomplishment for them also. Not pity, just come eat with us .

    Congratulations on becoming a doctor. That is huge!?

  32. And why should the OP torch her life for the sake of some random woman's peace of mind? You do realise he and his cop buddies can and most likely will make the OP's life living hell?

  33. Info: were you busy that time that you couldn’t take 2 hours off from what you were doing?

    That’s why you should let him have his car. So then he could’ve went somewhere for food.

  34. I would put some serious distance between the two of you. I’ve had some very close, trusting friendships and never once have I experienced anything like this.

  35. We tend to have really good communication, and i have said something like this before, but she always wants to negotiate. We have tried negotiating, and I always have a feeling that I just want this confusing nightmare to end.

  36. Hahaha love it. Yeah, I'm excited to see how it plays out as well. Small update as of 5 minutes ago, he asked me to hang out tonight, and I said yes, then followed it up quickly with “Has your ex moved out yet?” and he responded “No, she still has $675 to pay on her car to get it out, so I'm going to pay it on Thursday.” The whole thing about her moving out is that she needs her car to do it, so I'm not sure if this is a good sign that he wants her out or a bad one that he's paying her bills lol

  37. So your wife is good at lying, and managing to show no guilt despite carrying on an affair in front of your nose for years.

    You know that there's no way she'll give her affair partner up, right? She loves her so much she risked her life and marriage with you for a chance to move their romance out of the shadows and into the open. She says now she'll “break off the affair” but you never had any idea she was finally involved with her friend, and you won't notice if they start up again

  38. Or perhaps I have self-respect. And I could talk about my history with women but what’s the point. You and I obviously have different viewpoints and see the situation differently. Let’s agree to disagree. The OP can make up their own mind.

  39. Yeah, there's a saying that goes something along the lines of, you only truly know someone when you've traveled with them, done business with them, and lived with them. . .

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