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46 thoughts on “Candyspencer on-line webcams for YOU!”
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“I stopped interacting with my three-year-old for three years and it's anyone's fault but my own”
absolutely fair enough lol
This is dumb. He has a right to know. You’re not doing him any favors here by keeping it from him. Show him the letter, Sheesh.
That's probably the best thing yes.
That’s a lot of questions ?.
Yes I am more of dad to my step-son than his own and vice versa.
Our kids have known each other since first grade.
The FIL was involved in his grandson’s life when he was very young- before I met my wife. But they had a falling out which never really recovered. FIL met his granddaughter twice and my older daughter never. Once was when we invited him for dinner and my daughter was at her mom’s house.
As for the SAHM I told her I don’t care what she chooses. She could do it forever or not. She said she wants to go back to work after our youngest is in school.
This is a YOU issue, not a HER issue. This is not a new behavior for her. She was like this before you started dating her. It’s not reasonable for you to try to change her or control what clothes she wears. It’s her body and she can do what she wants with it. The fact that you aren’t comfortable with the way she dresses doesn’t obligate her to change for you.
Try to examine why this bothers you, and think about how you can change and learn to accept this about her. If you can’t get past this, you should consider breaking up with her.
Thanks internet friend. I read this comment and tears broke through as I read “especially being able to know the one you are with would choose you over anything in a heartbeat.”
She used to tell me that I was her forever. That she never wanted anyone else. That if either of us passed away we should remain single so we could join each other in heaven. That we would work through anything and everything because we love each other so much. I initially thought it was too much and didn't think much of it but eventually convinced myself we were each other's forever.
She even told me if her job became too much at any point she'd come back to me. Instead she's shut me out. My heart is so broken, but I don't want to add to her stress right now when she's already at her wits end. I want to pretend I'm okay with this and just smile sand say I'm okay with space that I'm happy to wait. But deep down I don't think there's a future here. Am I being cruel by not breaking up today. I plan to wait untill atlst we see each other in person, maybe even the wedding in three weeks. Is that unfair of me?
” He said those are the states with 0 income tax so that's where he wants to be and I shouldn't let my personal feelings get in the way.”
Should have left him in that precise moment.
I told him I wouldn't want to on-line in a state where abortion is outlawed because I don't support those states. He said those are the states with 0 income tax so that's where he wants to be and I shouldn't let my personal feelings get in the way.
His income tax is more important than your health and physical safety? Dump the guy and don't look back.
No, I start worrying if he takes hours to respond to me, because that is not usual. So I'd like him to let me know if he won't be available so I wouldn't worry. I understand the criticism though, I have to chill out
There are lots of comments here saying I should have been understanding.
Reverse the genders and boom. Fuck understanding. Call his mom and report him for dick pics.
I always introduced my dad's second wife as “Donna, my dad's wife”. She was never my stepmother or even a friend.
Yeah haha he just swam right past that part
One is hatred based on nothing more than skin colour and feeling superior, the other is disdain because your people have been treated atrociously by the other skintone for hundreds and hundreds of years. I'm not saying OPs girlfriends fam was right to act like this, but it's not the same.
NTA. Of course.
This is a tough call. Your parents & family want to include the grandkids in their activities, and that means involving their father and stepmother to a reasonable degree.
But yeah… missing out on a family party because they didn't bother to invite you is a step too far. IMO you need to make it 100% clear — to both your family and to ex-husband and stepmom — that you expect to be invited to ALL family events involving the children, full stop. Doesn't matter whether they think you want to come, or whether it might conflict with your schedule, etc. No exceptions.
That includes stepmom's birthday, etc. If your kids are invited, you're invited too. It's a simple rule and it should be easy to comply with.
Dude, it’s just a song… context matters
You sound like a 3 year old. They are literally twins and you are trying to forbid them from seeing each other out of petty jealousy.
Get some friends
Wow, that is terrible 🙁 I don't understand how someone could be so selfish and do that to another person. He basically wasted 2.5 years of her life so he could be happy and then just threw her away. That is awful.
I'd hate to think that's what my boyfriend is doing :/ He's the nicest guy I have dated, and he's always felt genuine. Slow, yes, but genuine.
Thanks for the feedback and advice ?
He's said it could be equivalent to biking, why is that not enough?
Because if it's a bloodsport, for example, people will be judging him for taking part in something they think is cruel rather than judging the facts of the case, which are that his wife doesn't want him to trade something she (half) gave him that he no longer uses for something he will use.
I bet if it was a woman changing her sobling's diaper is fine in gf mind as well
Unless the woman in question is a lesbian.
People like this ex will sexualize anything. There's nothing more seductive than wiping someone's poopy butt.
What? Porn and infidelity are 100% not the same. How is he cheating? Is he paying for the videos? Is he only watching ONE girl? Is he refusing to have sex or be romantic with OP? No? Then it’s not cheating. Why is this comment section so anti-porn? I get the bad porn, but jfc, there is ethical porn.
He knows I’m in a relationship and has asked about my partner a few times. My partner is (31M). (:
This whole post is a joke lighten up
You mean your EX.
Dude, hanging on to a dead relationship is toxic af
Why are you surprised by your husbands response? Your actions put him on unequal footing in his own marriage; of course he is now going to go to extreme lengths to assuage his feelings and feel as if he’s in a position to recapture some of the autonomy and control that your actions denied him of. His emotional response is not abusive – nor are his demands. In fact, I would argue that the only questionable item on that list is the demand for certain sexual activities. But again, it’s easy to understand why a man who was denied emotional and physical intimacy from his wife for years would want his wife to engage in the same sexual proclivities with him as she did with her affair partner. Is it healthy? No. Do y’all need therapy? Absolutely. Is his emotional response understandable? Undoubtedly.
That aside, you seem to take issue with the fact that gasp you have to be financially and physically present in your marriage as a contingency for your partner to take you back. You cheated on him while he was paying 100% of the bills and mortgage. You cheated on him while he planned every date, paid for every date, and bought you gifts for every occasion. What, exactly, rings as being abusive to you in your spouse expecting equal contribution from you? You’ve taken advantage of him not only physically by having an affair, but financially in allowing him to provide you with the lifestyle you enjoyed while you went out and got railed by someone else. Gross.
As a woman, you need to do better than this. You’re here on Reddit trying to preemptively assign yourself into a victim role while questioning if your partners demands for reconciliation – demand contingent upon equal financial contribution, date planning efforts, and gift giving practices – are abusive. They aren’t and the fact that you are more concerned about being a victim than you are about the lessons to be learned here is alarming. Your partner wants you to financially contribute, confess and take accountability, pay for dates, and buy gifts because he wants you to see what you abused and took for granted. It wasn’t just his money, trips, physical items, etc. It was his time and his efforts and he wants you to do the same so you can have an appreciation for how much of himself went into doing them for you. Maybe if you were actually understanding of that you’d realize how seriously deep the wounds you inflicted are.
Take accountability. You had no problem stepping out on your marriage and lying to him, his family, your friends, and his friends. So take no issue with owning that. Actions have consequences and your husband needs to see tangible action from you. Accountability is hardly a crucible. It’s not like you’re Sisyphus having to roll a boulder uphill for the rest of time. His “punishment” (as you seem to view it) isn’t as Promethean as you’re making it out to be.
Frankly, if you aren’t willing to put efforts into your marriage you need to get divorced. Your husband is clearly tired of being an unappreciated party who bankrolls your lifestyle while you go out and on-line the life you want at his expense. Do better or get divorced.
If you want to stay with the boy do them. Yes some of them are designed to humiliate you. He thinks that is what you have done to him.
And I can go and do the exact same thing lol this subreddit is all about are divorces, cheating, open relationships those are the 3 main topics that gets spammed. This is not an exception to the rule, imo before I blow up someone life I need to make sure I have proof of what I am talking about. I have 0 stake in this story, that why I clearly asked does he have proof to prove she was with him, because how many other stories on here have you read were people are getting gaslighted and are basic doormats in these relationships. You acting like we have any knowledge of what’s going on or like we know the intent of this person or even if this story is remotely real. We don’t even know if this guy is telling the truth for all we know he can be some crazy mf who in in love with his ex still. I base my opinion and comment on here I try to be as unbiased as possible and give a reasonable answer and decision a normal person would do. I don’t try to sit here and just say break up or divorce because we don’t know the full stories 99% of the time
The issue at stake here is not the circumstance of the other couple at all.
Its simply not your husbands call to determine your friends.
Why should it be ?
Feelings should have nothing to do with it. Science has no feelings, only conclusions based on evidence that results in new hypotheses that can be tested.
However, I will answer your question. No I don't. My visceral reaction based on feelings would be yes but logically no. If we are going to start saying that life starts at conception then we should be consistent with it. A woman should then be able to get life insurance on her foetus. Chipd support and by extension government based assistance should start at conception also.
Pregnancy is only the possibility of life. Until you are born, that is all it is. Even the most healthy pregnancies can lead to a still birth and conversely a foetus with little to no odds of living will beat the odds and grow into a healthy baby.
Well wasn't looking for a cheating type deal but appreciate the thought 🙂
They did change for my sister. They were not as involved in her life. Didn't control every aspect of it as they did mine. They favored her to the point I was jealous of a 6-year-old at one point. They backed off on her but were the same on me as they always had been. They backed off when I moved out and treated my sister still roughly but way better. My sister is still disgusted with the way they treat men and wants her freedom.
I guess I'm still looking for recognition, praise, love, and acceptance from my parents.
You have the power to break up with him
I mean having a sexual relationship at all. If you are ready to have sex with a guy then you are ready to use your words and ask
Case in point though I told him 1) I bought a sex you 2) I want to use him as my on-line toy 3) I want him to fill me up. I don’t know if that’s not upfront enough. Except there’s no timeline
desperation on both parts
eh maybe the fact that they got together when she was 21 and he was 33?
Except the report is not my cat was rehomed the report is my cat which I’ve spent $X on was stolen and I know where it is. Then you move on to small claims court
Except the report is not my cat was rehomed the report is my cat which I’ve spent $X on was stolen and I know where it is. Then you move on to small claims court
A prenuptial is a good thing. We discuss it in groups like r/financialindependance and r/personal finance.
Prenuptial agreements are acts of love. You are saying I love you enough to come to an agreement on how we will handle things in the future. If you don't have a prenuptial agreement there is no guarantee one partner will not try to go cutthroat and be unfair/harmful in a divorce. If a prenuptial agreement is a problem for you I would reconsider why you are in the relationship.
You can do prenuptial agreements where the money he has now is off the table but money made after marriage is shared. If he purely cares about the Financials of marriage, he likely would get better tax rates doing married filing jointly.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
I teach and my spring break vacation is always scheduled 8-9 months in advance.
My long term (over a year) bf works a regular job, has lots of seniority, and basically gets his pick when he schedules all of his vacation days at the beginning of the year.
He specifically planned his vacation for the week AFTER my spring break meaning that we CAN'T do anything together. He does NOT have anything specific already planned for that week, and he could have just as easily taken off the same week I'm off, but specifically chose NOT to.
He has seniority and could have easily taken off the same week I'm off.
What am I supposed to think?
It's really starting to seem like he's just stringing me along (when convenient for him) to keep the goods on tap.
(sorry I made a typo with the age on the prior post)
update:
YES I asked him why he did that, and he claims it was because he got more days off in a row that way because he has both of those weekends off meaning he's off from Saturday through the NEXT Sunday (9 days in row) instead of just taking off Monday through Sunday (7 days in a row) with me.
but honestly anytime I question him about anything he gets mad.
Guess I was asking because honestly it was something I never thought about until my ex brought up that his friends preceded me. It seemed weird. Honestly I never ranked people until I had to right now. So after thought, I realized his decision made sense if he viewed me so low. I would never do that to my partner you know. I appreciate your answer so much. Thank you.
Rip off the bandaid now. If you do it after the trip, her mind will go into overdrive wondering what went wrong since you guys just had an amazing trip together. Do you think you have it in your heart to give your portion of the trip away so your gf can go with a friend or family member?
I also want to applaud you for breaking up with her instead of wasting both of your time. She might not see it now but you did her a huge favor.
He’s “interesting”? You had a mental break…
Don’t get married.
She's not respecting your space or your privacy, even after numerous requests explaining exactly what you need.
Or maybe as you are growing you are seeing the toxic behaviors that have always been there.
It's really ok to let poor friendships die.
Nobody said that. I'm talking about OPs feelings and learning to focus on her and her partner. That's the only people they need to care about. What is your advice to OP? Harbor angry feelings and never heal? If that's how you want to deal with being abused or dealing with the abuse of a loved one, that's your prerogative, isn't it? She wanted to know how to move forward, not stay in the past, hurting. If you have a better way, instead of telling me how I should handle abuse (which I've actually gone through & had to learn how to on-line life without proper support), please do share. Otherwise, take care of yourself.