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Tell him to go stay with his friend and co-workers that you are done with him and you want him out. Go live your life and quit wasting it him . He's more than likely cheating on you and his friends are more important than you! Dump him and start living!
Is this your GF or FWB if it’s your GF then it’s strange but the fact that she does it right there then I doubt her intentions with him are bad, if it’s your FWB then it ain’t your business
I’m sorry OP, this sucks. I had a friend who planned a destination wedding to Hawaii and I knew would be spending at least $2000 . I already knew I wasn’t a bridesmaid and that was fine (I wasn’t local either) but when I found out a girl she’s talked so much shit about was in the party, I was hurt. If she picked her and not me -what was she saying about me behind my back?
I decided not to go to the wedding as there was no reason for me to spend money on someone that didn’t value the friendship as much as I did.
Years later she asked why I didn’t come and I told her exactly why. She admitted that it was fair and we’re on much better terms now.
Ignore her for a week, she can’t be bored of someone who’s no longer available
Everyone is doing it. Everyone. And if you don’t know that, then I guess you are 12? Wait until you learn that this is the “proper” position
If you want to get over him, you need to block him and cut contact. That’s it. That’s how you start to heal. That’s my advice.
No one can tell you how to trust again. No one. That’s something you have to learn yourself. Read self help books, watch motivational videos, and listen to podcasts. No one can do the work for you. Only you can. That’s how you can build yourself back up.
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Wait! The GALL- someone you rejected was polite then continued to share a public space with you???
She handled it fine. You acknowledge the person politely then do your own thing. You, on the other hand, need to get over yourself. Even if she was initially upset with how you handled things, she clearly doesn't care now.
bring home girls/dates. Or even someone to pretend to be your new gf already ? eff it maybe if you can’t leave then making it funny for you will save your mental health. Probably not but ??♀️
His mask is slipping off and he is showing who he truly is. I once had a guy give me ratings and he was a raging narcissist. It's not normal and it's red flag behaviour to start the topic of rating each other (who knew perfectly well that you would return the question). Some men on purpose say and do things to make their girlfriend feel insecure and inferior. Because then they can more easily manipulate you, they feel more secure that you won't leave for someone else and they can more easily get away with bad behaviour.
You don't deserve a boyfriend who treats you like this.
“I don't want to throw away the last 5 years too” this is called sinking coast fallacy, people are so focused on what they already invested that they can't see it's better to cut their losses. Seriously, give her an ultimatum. Maybe tell her that you talked to your father and he said he doesn't want you to marry her unless SHE converts to your religion if you want to get the point across. She can either marry the norsen you, or marry someone else. Don't convert.
But was it too early to expect it?
He wants to have his cake and eat it too. He’s just going to continue to string you along while living the single life. He’s 25 and sounds nowhere near ready to settle down. You’re 23… cut your losses, cut him off completely and move on. There’s plenty of fish in the sea and he’s not your fish.
Definitely slept with the guy. Sorry man she belongs to the streets.
Some people have anti-social behavior disorders that are undiagnosed and come across as what they perceive to be their identity.
Other people don't believe they have to make personal sacrifices for other people and consider that a part of their “identity.”
If not cleaning up after yourself, not being kind and thoughtful towards others, not being fiscally responsible, not being a little bit aspirational about your position in life and your ability to support other people, not controlling your behaviors, and having selective empathy are who you think you are, you shouldn't take “be yourself” at face value.
Are you willing to lose your life for this relationship? To know that he will be the one to kill you at some point in the future? It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when.
If you don't leave – if you don't “throw away” – this ten year relationship, you are throwing away the rest of your life. You are, in essence, accepting that your cause of death will be murder and that your killer will be your fiance.
You need to leave. Do not be home when he gets back. Take all of your important documents and leave, go to the house of a friend or family member that you know you can trust to not tell him where you are and perhaps even one that has a gun in case that is needed; if you don't have anyone that can offer you shelter, find a womens shelter. Take your phone, your car or anything that could have a hidden tracker to a shop and see if they can help you figure out if there is one and how to remove it. Talk to the police immediately, tell them what happened. Create a paper trail, a record of events, make it so that if something does happen, he will be the first person put under the microscope.
There is so much more to a good relationship than sexual chemistry. He did not choose this new partner based on sex.
You just need to treat this like a break up. Your relationship ended and you need to go through the steps to move on from that.
It sounds like your boyfriend is enjoying his life and you probably should too.
I don’t know what they talk about besides “how’s your day” so I have no real reason to interrogate him about it. I have personally feel like I have enough information except I’ve never seen their snapchats so I don’t know everything but also, if it was in appropriate he would never tell me
The only issue I have with this OP, is you asking the daughter yourself. At first I thought that was great, but the more I thought on it, if the case was different and she was uncomfortable by it, I have to believe she would have been SUPER uncomfortable with the confrontation. Luckily she wasn’t. But your girlfriend needs to figure out why she has such an issue with it, because if she is thinking something nefarious, then I would have to think she’d be more concerned with her daughter covering up. Idk. These comments are weird. But yes OP, put some shorts on. No one wants to see mom’s boyfriend floppin around. The shirt request is pushing it tho
This. I have daughters around your age and I’d tell them to cut their losses before things get ugly
It kind of bothers me that everyone’s apologizing to you for the situation. And I think the reason being that people are seeing you as the victim. But you made a choice to gamble sexual chemistry when you decided not to try it out before marriage. And unfortunately this is one of the possible repercussions off that. Unfortunately this is a piece of the situation that you also have to take accountability for it.
Furthermore it doesn’t seem like your wife wanted to hurt your feelings. It honestly seems like she tried her best to not make sure you feel sexually inadequate. It could be attraction but i honestly think it could be the fact that you are not experienced in bed but she’s not willing to say it out loud.
That being said therapy might be the best course of action. And when it comes to therapy you guys must delve into why the unattainable is the most tempting. It seems to me that you were more exciting for her when she couldn’t have you sexually and her imagination probably went into overdrive of how “good” you would be when she finally got to be intimate with you. That set up a lot of unrealistic expectations in her mind.
A lot of people categorize people. So if you appear to me as a friend and approach me with a seemingly innocent motive, I will put you in the friend zone. You need to also think about how you behaved prior to your marriage. Did you reduce intimacy and temptation in an effort to avoid premarital sex? And how did that affect your relationship.
You were both at fault for the situation and I honestly think as everyone said some couples therapy might be helpful. If you can break through the mental block, maybe consider some sex therapy afterwards.
Just to say, neurodiversity doesn't really mean that.
Neurodiversity refers to the concept that some people”s brains develop differently from what is considered typical, and their mind processes things differently. Like we are all given the same stimulus, for example, but how we process, think about it and react to it would be different as obviously we are all different people, but some would be very different and considered an atypical presentation. Someone with ASD might find processing certain sensory stimulation (audio, light etc) more intensely and brighter than a non-ASD person. You tend to find certain atypical processes trend, and those trends are linked to the differences in the person's brain development.
Morality is a very complex concept, and there is such variety in moral values that is not necessarily dependent on neuropsychological differences but purely on the person's environment and experience. It's rarely what the moral values are but how these values are presented or processed across the neurodiverse population. Example: some people with ASD might be more likely to have black-and-white mentality with their processing of moral values but this isn't actually just an ASD trait at all.
In conclusion, the idea that OP's lover has different moral values can't be simply summed up in a “ih it's neurodiversity”. Fact is, moral values are very diverse in relationships across everyone, and if someone doesn't agree with yours, they won't be a good fit for you. A relationship is a partnership, and so you have to be on the same page about how the relationship works. Many other things can be different e.g. religion, hobbies, taste etc, but how relationships work for you need to be shared between partners.
Several own goals in this situation:
-) You went to his house alone
-) You allowed your “friend” to get you drunk
-) You let it go physical (wrestling, tickleing etc.)
Just to be clear, I am not saying “it is your fault and you invited him to violate your boundaries”. What your friend did was not okay and he is a total asshole for trying to force a kiss.
How to handle the situation:
First you need to tell your boyfriend everything and every detail. He will be angry, disappointed and hurt but you need to give him 100% transparency.
There is a chance that this will damage your relationship but if you lie about it and he finds out later, it is almost guaranteed that he will dump you.
Towards your “friend” I would choose a solid brick wall. Tell him that you do not feel save around him and that you can not stay in contact with him.
How is he your best friend and she's his fiance of 7 years and you've never met?
Bruh that was not a question with a conditional answer.
But like if you were in her shoes, wouldn’t you have just straight up asked “hey is that bracelet from an ex? If so that kind of makes me uncomfortable” instead of creeping up to her as she is sleeping with a sharp object?!? Lol that girl is a nut job. Good on you for running
Dude no well adjusted man thinks he’s packing some god pipe, we’re all aware our girls have most likely had bigger. The issue is broadcasting that shit so flippantly.
Especially if I snagged a pic of some chick blowing me on our second date and sent that shit to my boys. She’s doing bad shit, it’s not all about getting your dick wet.
So, if I understand they are not related at all and probably didn’t grow up together at all since you are 23 and half-brother is 21.
Even if they were dating I don’t really see the issue here expect it’s weird to you, and maybe to your parents and their parents. But not really their problem right?
If you have no children, Gtfo there
Or a little kick or elbow under the table.
I'm glad you all pointed out ges a POS instead of harping on just their age difference.
But he is flirting for money (his business), so that makes it ok..It also makes him a prostitute/escort, if he gets their business and continues to fake attention for the continued revenue. Perhaps it also makes him a gold digger? but that area is a bit murkier that the straight up man whoring he is trying out.
Dang, you weren't kidding. OP's husband is absolutely abusing her. That, plus the wild mood swings, lack of self control, alcoholism, and misogyny, is a recipe for disaster. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he turns violent.
OP, you need to get out now, before your husband scars your daughter for life.
Dang, you weren't kidding. OP's husband is absolutely abusing her. That, plus the wild mood swings, lack of self control, alcoholism, and misogyny, is a recipe for disaster. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he turns violent.
OP, you need to get out now, before your husband scars your daughter for life.
You’re not stupid. Some of the most wonderful people I know have wound up in abusive relationships.
I can't believe you left a Nordic country to live in America for a guy like that. He is not worth it!
IMO you need to get your own place. Without his help. Because to me, his behavior is suss: that part when he had a lot of time to look into An Issue, but didn't and instead used this issue to push back an agreed deadline? Sounds manipulative to me. It sounds like the Issue wasn't an actual reason, bc well… he could have looked into it. Instead, it's just an excuse to push the purchase back. He can do that endlessly, OP – he can keep pushing back year after year after year. If you wait for him to get your own place, you may as well be 50 and still waiting.
If you have reasons to believe this is just a one-time thing, you could wait THIS ONE TIME. Wait until this new date he came up with – end of July – and if then he doesn't dive right into getting the house, with enthusiasm and passion, stop waiting. Move out, get your own place – even it is small. It's better to have a small place you love than have a huge, luxurious place that is theoretical and doesn't actually exist, but may one day come true – or not.
Also, isn't crypto mostly losing value right now? (sorry if I'm wrong here, I'm kinda ignorant about crypto, but I saw some stuff about NFTs losing value on youtube xD So I' guessing crpyto is not doing great either?? sorry if I sound dumb) I think the reason he is making stuff up in order to push back the date – bc again, the reason here is IMo complete bullshit – is because he literally does not have the funds. And doesn't want to just outright say it.
Either way, whether it's crypto or cold feet or whatever, he si not being honest with you about the true motive of pushing back the date. And that, to me, means you should not wait for him.
She's for the streets. Do you plan on living in the streets ?