Lawyer first, look into moving away with your son maybe to your parents house.
Your wife doesn't want to look after your son, make records of that. She is insisting that you do all the childcare.
Ideally I would take him and have a carer look after him and find out how to separate her from both of you permanently.
If he has medical issues she is ignoring that is somewhere to start, refusing going to a doctor and refusing therapy would be listed as neglectful.
You are also being abused that can affect your thought processes as to how to remove yourself and your son from her, in that you may think you cannot do it, but honestly he won't be worse off from not being around her.
Imagine he was being cared for in germany what would that look like, that is his country of origin right? what services do they provide for children with ASD and how would the courts in germany look on separation, a question for a lawyer who knows international law for separation of families from mix countries.
Liking and being in a relationship with someone is generally the roadmap to love, which doesn’t happen instantly for a lot of people. I would say if you enjoy spending time with her and like her as well, you should see where things go and continue with the relationship.
My own personal experience, I had a girl message me and tell me that my bf was unhinged, crazy, manipulative. I thanked her for the advice like you did and I just felt things out. Even other people popped in and wanted to make sure that I felt safe because they had heard about him and other girls. I felt it out for myself because I hadn't seen that side of him at all and that was the biggest mistake of my life. I stuck out the situation and it turned out to be so much worse than I imagined because I thought I knew him better and ignored all of the signs that came my way. Be wary, please. You sound like a very smart, thoughtful woman.
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Honey have him arrested. He assaulted you. And the fact that he continued and to try definitely means he didn't care if he hurt you or not. Then get the hell away from him,
No problem at all and thank you, although I’m definitely happier overall since. Well that’s a good indication for sure. Don’t listen to people, because u will hear so many things that differ totally from one another, which simply highlights the personal experience of each person, but not yours! Yes people change, yes in your twenties to thirties u really start understanding and experiencing many things. You very likely will both change. But that doesn’t mean u will no longer be compatible. The most important thing is communication and putting ego aside. Looking at issues from a third person perspective. If BOTH of you are like that then I see no issues to be worried about. Keep a positive mindset and actively work on yourselves whenever there are strong disagreements.
These are not just fantasies for her though, she used to do it before our relationship. And I completely understand there is so much more in a relationship than sexual fantasies, but on the other hand you need to agree on some stuff in order to have a healthy relationship.
It could be that he has a family there or that he is into drug smuggling. Try telling him to use dildos for him. If they fit in his ass then your guy has experience putting drugs up his ass.
Dude leave this poor woman alone. If you truly love her like you say you do, you’d want to respect her wishes and let her move on from you, but honestly it sounds like you still have a ton of work to do on yourself still (despite saying you’ve learned how to treat women, you still spill lots of sexist and hypocritical shit in your post and can’t wait Ben extend empathy to this poor woman you’re tormenting emotionally). You act impulsively and selfishly then expect her to take you back so you can have back what you squandered, without consideration if she’s going to get anything out of this. She’s a person and you’ve just been constantly jerking her around, popping in and out of her life, making promises you fail to keep again and again. How could she ever trust you and be happy even if you’ve reformed? Even if all is well this time, how does she know you won’t disappear like you’ve done so many times before? You’re her “karma girl” except she seemingly did nothing to deserve your treatment. You complain about other women having too much trauma, but the only woman you seemingly want you continuously traumatize… just let her move on with her life and do the same man. And maybe get some therapy.
If you‘ve been feeling like this since August, it’s time to talk. You could find a counselor first but you‘ll both be unhappy if you just keep this to yourself.
She has cheated on you. Your din eouldn't kniw to come up eith dych lie. The fact that she denies vusut itself means they fucked.
If you stay with your wife do kniwung she has cheated on you once so she will di it again in future. She is also unapologetic about it. I guess it might not be the first time considering she has no issyes lying and hiding it. Sorry I don't want to offend you, but are you sure it is “your” child?
I think you should take a step back and refuse the ring. Because of this:
I've briefly mentionned this to him but it doesn't seem to bother him.
It’s not that he isn’t Borge by the time line, it’s that he isn’t concerned by you being bothered. He doesn’t care that you’re uncomfortable. This lack of responsiveness and awareness to their partner is something you should take into account.
That doesn't even make sense. How is it that he just pushed her and she hit her head but the charges are for strangulation and suffocation? That's not a good lie at all. Dump his ass asap unless you want to find yourself on the other side of a court case or heaven forbid dead.
Open and shut case you leave her violence is never acceptable in a relationship and if the genders were reversed there wouldn't be a single comment other than leave him. You said it yourself should you just stay because you're a man that doesn't seem right and she's clearly not sorry, so I don't even understand why you're considering staying, she's abusive. There's millions of women out there who are not, marry one of them
I feel like such an idiot I didn’t think of that but I think you’re right. You don’t accidentally stumble into a massage with an RMT and get propositioned. If he had wanted a real massage, our insurance would pay for it and he could have gone to any of the sports clinics or spas in our neighbourhood.
Tbh, that’s just me in general. I had an abusive childhood so I’m used to forgiving people. I believe there’s always a good side in people. Even though I don’t have any romantic feelings towards him anymore but it doesn’t mean that I don’t care about him.
But anyway you’re right! Their issues are not my problem.
You should start pelvic floor therapy asap. Also your husband is borderline abusive. I’d have a serious talk and tell him if he doesn’t start being a true partner and gather, you are seriously contemplating divorce. Maybe the ultimatum will make him realize that what he’s doing is unacceptable.
As others said, be honest. Don't have sex with her. Not before, not after. When you're done, block and lose her info. Don't do boot calls, or anything.
She's going to hurt no matter what. Once she is over it she'll be fine, meet the man of her dreams and move on.
Married or unmarried, if you're living with a partner, the mentality should be our responsibilities. You're a team. They shouldn't have bought a house together unless they had combined finances, which it sounds like they don't. You don't have to be married to combine finances.
You've had a lot of bad takes on this post. Just give it up. You're wrong.
Yeah the update really doesn’t make the story look any better in his favor.
Lawyer first, look into moving away with your son maybe to your parents house.
Your wife doesn't want to look after your son, make records of that. She is insisting that you do all the childcare.
Ideally I would take him and have a carer look after him and find out how to separate her from both of you permanently.
If he has medical issues she is ignoring that is somewhere to start, refusing going to a doctor and refusing therapy would be listed as neglectful.
You are also being abused that can affect your thought processes as to how to remove yourself and your son from her, in that you may think you cannot do it, but honestly he won't be worse off from not being around her.
Imagine he was being cared for in germany what would that look like, that is his country of origin right? what services do they provide for children with ASD and how would the courts in germany look on separation, a question for a lawyer who knows international law for separation of families from mix countries.
Liking and being in a relationship with someone is generally the roadmap to love, which doesn’t happen instantly for a lot of people. I would say if you enjoy spending time with her and like her as well, you should see where things go and continue with the relationship.
Wayyy Too convenient
My own personal experience, I had a girl message me and tell me that my bf was unhinged, crazy, manipulative. I thanked her for the advice like you did and I just felt things out. Even other people popped in and wanted to make sure that I felt safe because they had heard about him and other girls. I felt it out for myself because I hadn't seen that side of him at all and that was the biggest mistake of my life. I stuck out the situation and it turned out to be so much worse than I imagined because I thought I knew him better and ignored all of the signs that came my way. Be wary, please. You sound like a very smart, thoughtful woman.
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May want to reconsider children too
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Don't think that adding more years to your togetherness will change him. You're just throwing good years after bad.
You're young, leave, look for someone capable of true love.
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Honey have him arrested. He assaulted you. And the fact that he continued and to try definitely means he didn't care if he hurt you or not. Then get the hell away from him,
No problem at all and thank you, although I’m definitely happier overall since. Well that’s a good indication for sure. Don’t listen to people, because u will hear so many things that differ totally from one another, which simply highlights the personal experience of each person, but not yours! Yes people change, yes in your twenties to thirties u really start understanding and experiencing many things. You very likely will both change. But that doesn’t mean u will no longer be compatible. The most important thing is communication and putting ego aside. Looking at issues from a third person perspective. If BOTH of you are like that then I see no issues to be worried about. Keep a positive mindset and actively work on yourselves whenever there are strong disagreements.
“Happy ending” massages involve the masseuse giving the client a handjob at the end of the massage until they cum.
These are not just fantasies for her though, she used to do it before our relationship. And I completely understand there is so much more in a relationship than sexual fantasies, but on the other hand you need to agree on some stuff in order to have a healthy relationship.
It could be that he has a family there or that he is into drug smuggling. Try telling him to use dildos for him. If they fit in his ass then your guy has experience putting drugs up his ass.
Dude leave this poor woman alone. If you truly love her like you say you do, you’d want to respect her wishes and let her move on from you, but honestly it sounds like you still have a ton of work to do on yourself still (despite saying you’ve learned how to treat women, you still spill lots of sexist and hypocritical shit in your post and can’t wait Ben extend empathy to this poor woman you’re tormenting emotionally). You act impulsively and selfishly then expect her to take you back so you can have back what you squandered, without consideration if she’s going to get anything out of this. She’s a person and you’ve just been constantly jerking her around, popping in and out of her life, making promises you fail to keep again and again. How could she ever trust you and be happy even if you’ve reformed? Even if all is well this time, how does she know you won’t disappear like you’ve done so many times before? You’re her “karma girl” except she seemingly did nothing to deserve your treatment. You complain about other women having too much trauma, but the only woman you seemingly want you continuously traumatize… just let her move on with her life and do the same man. And maybe get some therapy.
If you‘ve been feeling like this since August, it’s time to talk. You could find a counselor first but you‘ll both be unhappy if you just keep this to yourself.
She has cheated on you. Your din eouldn't kniw to come up eith dych lie. The fact that she denies vusut itself means they fucked.
If you stay with your wife do kniwung she has cheated on you once so she will di it again in future. She is also unapologetic about it. I guess it might not be the first time considering she has no issyes lying and hiding it. Sorry I don't want to offend you, but are you sure it is “your” child?
It’s not even that big of an age gap.
I think you should take a step back and refuse the ring. Because of this:
I've briefly mentionned this to him but it doesn't seem to bother him.
It’s not that he isn’t Borge by the time line, it’s that he isn’t concerned by you being bothered. He doesn’t care that you’re uncomfortable. This lack of responsiveness and awareness to their partner is something you should take into account.
That doesn't even make sense. How is it that he just pushed her and she hit her head but the charges are for strangulation and suffocation? That's not a good lie at all. Dump his ass asap unless you want to find yourself on the other side of a court case or heaven forbid dead.
Open and shut case you leave her violence is never acceptable in a relationship and if the genders were reversed there wouldn't be a single comment other than leave him. You said it yourself should you just stay because you're a man that doesn't seem right and she's clearly not sorry, so I don't even understand why you're considering staying, she's abusive. There's millions of women out there who are not, marry one of them
File a police report.
this is very weird i’m not gonna lie.
Cutting losses is also not his forté seeing as he didn't stop after losing 10k in crypto
You can do this, OP! Don't be disrespected and taken advantage of by this child
If it’s your place and you don’t feel safe call the cops. Get him removed.
That’s true, thank you i will look into that. Have a great day
Well you just have been lucky. It could also totally have been that you ended up as their bridesmaid.
I feel like such an idiot I didn’t think of that but I think you’re right. You don’t accidentally stumble into a massage with an RMT and get propositioned. If he had wanted a real massage, our insurance would pay for it and he could have gone to any of the sports clinics or spas in our neighbourhood.
It says I'm not able to join. What even is it?
Tbh, that’s just me in general. I had an abusive childhood so I’m used to forgiving people. I believe there’s always a good side in people. Even though I don’t have any romantic feelings towards him anymore but it doesn’t mean that I don’t care about him.
But anyway you’re right! Their issues are not my problem.
You should start pelvic floor therapy asap. Also your husband is borderline abusive. I’d have a serious talk and tell him if he doesn’t start being a true partner and gather, you are seriously contemplating divorce. Maybe the ultimatum will make him realize that what he’s doing is unacceptable.
Tell him you have to do it to him first before it can be done to you. That shut my husband up real quick ?
As others said, be honest. Don't have sex with her. Not before, not after. When you're done, block and lose her info. Don't do boot calls, or anything.
She's going to hurt no matter what. Once she is over it she'll be fine, meet the man of her dreams and move on.
Why don't you pour your own ketchup?
I mean he doesn't act like he doesn't know how to do it. Ans he doesn't throw a fit about doing it either
I hate it when my partner compliments me by complimenting my weight loss. It reminds me that love is conditional on my being a certain weight .
you’re right. just hard cause i’ll be completely alone. wish i didn’t make our friendship romantic sometimes.
Married or unmarried, if you're living with a partner, the mentality should be our responsibilities. You're a team. They shouldn't have bought a house together unless they had combined finances, which it sounds like they don't. You don't have to be married to combine finances.
You've had a lot of bad takes on this post. Just give it up. You're wrong.
Stop cleaning his clothes and making his food. If he's not going to pull his weight, he doesn't get to enjoy the fruits of your labour.