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You were coerced. You didn’t actually want it. And he clearly knew that. It was rape. Please leave him.
Look for some local groups or classes for things you're interested in.
Read more books, essays, hell even video essays, from diverse types of people about experiences you may not have acknowledged. This helps broaden your horizons and does a lot of good for maturing someone.
Learn how to cook a few dishes, if you don't know how already. Perhaps Korean ones your GF may enjoy.
Oh my. Flip this around and instead of saying you can’t imagine your life without him, imagine the life you will never experience if you throw it all away for him?
If he’s really the one, you two will either figure out long distance, or you’ll break up and find your way back to each other after having lived fulfilling separate lives.
Check out the actor Adam Pally’s story with his wife. Knew each other their whole lives, dated in high school. Broke up and he got to on-line a wild and fun college life that led him to acting. She got to grow up and find her passion, starting her own business. 10+ years later they reconnect and are now married. If they had turned down opportunities just to stay together, there’s a good chance neither would be thriving in life as much as they are now. Not to say you can’t thrive sticking in your hometown with your high school sweetheart, but girl, there is a big world out there and experiencing it freely is so, so worth it.
Hey, it’s clear you’re in denial, but you don’t need to apologize to us. The only one who suffers here is you. Just remember that.