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1. I’d let her know its assault, explain that you have some self esteem so you won’t be putting up with assault, and she can either explain where that impulse came from and work through it in therapy, or you can break up.

   I could see this being a childhood thing, like a learned behavior, because I have never ever felt the urge to spit on/at someone. And I mean, I have been in hateful, angry verbal fights before—I screamed at one person so loudly I hurt my own ears. So I’m no angel, and still the thought of spitting on someone has never crossed my mind. There’s got to be an explanation, and if it’s “my mom spat at my dad when they fought, and it always ended the fight” or something is way better than “I just really wanted to make you feel like a piece of trash because I am essentially a guttersnipe.”

   So sorry this happened, friend. Your did not deserve it, and there is nothing in you that caused it.

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