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You have a very controlling partner and have developed this as a coping mechanism. I would highly recommend you break up, just because she is triggered or reacting to something doesn’t automatically mean you did something wrong.
He might realize in a few years when he's not as immature.
I'd also point out to you, that a two-year difference is not 'dating a younger man' when the ages are 21 and 23.
You have been together for 4 years and you can't openly communicate? That's concerning and also, it could be a medical condition so you need to tell him without sugar coating it.
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I am at a loss for words rn. I have never felt so disrespected, degraded and abused in my life. I love my girlfriend but dont know what to feel about this. It truly is so hurtful because I love her so much.
If anyone has had a similar experience or has any advice – please comment – thank you