Where's the new anger for your husband? It's not just them that lied and hid it from you. They went off the word of your husband that you knew. Though I do think it was cheek for her to become your friend. She could have made excuses to not be close.
It's not likely that you're doing anything wrong. Your expectations of people may be unrealistic, and you may be impatient, but that's not really wrong in the sense that you're being bad.
Most people enjoy good sex. Not as many enjoy good conversation. You probably look like sex with you would be good. It's hard to guess by looking at someone whether a conversation with them would be good. The other important thing to note is that the desire for good sex tends to be more urgent in young men than the desire for good conversation.
In other words, I don't think you should be surprised by the attention you get. You just might have to make more of an effort to find what you're looking for.
He’s a predator. Post your story, his name and photo on social media. It might scare him off if he has other ideas for you. He might not be done with you. Get a restraining order also.
Jokes on him, it’s probably not possible to alter those pants appropriately. Factory sewing machines do things that home sewing machines can’t. The seams of fabric is often too thick to pass through a home sewing machine without breaking it. When you alter it, the pants are going to end up not looking how he imagines them. Another poster explained why.
I think I might need this due to my bruxism. One jaw is more forward and shaped differently, I also dont have full range of the motion on that side. I grind the left side far more while asleep.
Something needs to light a torch under her ass, if the thought occurring to her that she has been a spineless push over for these two creeps then nothing will.
Don't feel like you're asking him for special treatment. Going in dry is painful for most women. It should be a standard for sex to start as non-penetrative and to progress to penetrative only if it feels good to both parties. The fact that he views sex as something for his benefit where your pleasure is only seen as a toll to access it is disgusting.
What was the nature of the relationship with this “old fling?”
Either way, we need to put things into perspective. Before we do, the truth is that he might very well be an absolute piece of shit, a horrible partner, and everything you fear; we simply don’t know that.
What we do know is you, so that’s what I’m going to focus on. You’re four months in and you’re here worried about literally everything. In short, you don’t trust him. Whether you’re right or wrong doesn’t matter; no healthy relationship works without trust.
Finally, you’re again this early in and already snooping through his personal shit. Is that really how you want to online? There’s no good ending. You snooping means you already don’t trust him. BEST case scenario is that you’re right, which means he’s a scumbag and it’s over. The other scenario is that he’s a good person but your insecurities push him away.
I will not be watching the birth of my child from below. I know I would faint. I will support my wife from the safety of her chest/head. She also doesn't want to witness it (I guess they can set up mirrors for the mother).
I think its fair of you to respond negatively towards your husbands comment. But don't hold it over his head forever, thats only going to harm your relationship long-term.
You’re best totally cutting off all communication with him. I know you’re hurting, but there’s literally nothing he could say that will make you feel better. Nothing.
It will hurt her, be there for her cuz itll probably take an emotional toll. Make sure to tell her you are sorry for lying and that you did it because you didnt want to see her hurt, but realized she has the right to know. Say it in a way that shows her that you genuinely respect her, and just didnt want to complicate things for her
I save all mine and am up-front about it. It's more of like a diary of sorts. It does have all the racy content, but everything else too. I get how it could be difficult to see it, and if he is fixated on it, things are not ok. But having it and occasionally looking at it not an issue. If he's not over his x, that's another thing.
So, you have spoken to her on occasion, are in the same club and she tells you that you are handsome.
Telling “everyone” they are handsome isn't something people normally do as if they have a date, that could cause a minor issue.
Now, you have stated you have body dismorphia. This means you view yourself differently than most people would. You were well dressed, presumably well groomed… there is a greater than 2/3 chance she meant what she said.
I'd ask her out, if you are interested. After a few dates, you should explain how BD affects your perception of your body. Accept anything she says about your body as her truthful opinion, even if you don't share it. I knew a girl who thought her bf's facial burns were sexy. Her dad had similar burns (not on the face). So, even if you feel you are not handsome, someone else may think you are very hot.
Well we know bc would be better but that isn't an option here so thd point is moot. Better take it now and hope it works than do nothing and have to get an abortion
It's just gonna be a cycle of the same thing. She's gonna change and be the best for like a month, then go back to the same behavior. You're gonna break up again, and then the cycle will repeat.
If she's this bad now, imagine her pregnant. That sounds like hell.
I'd cut your losses and move on. Remember, it took you breaking up with her for her to want to get better. Not you telling her off, not you bending to her will.
I would also suggest not having sex with her, I've heard too many stories of “I'll change, I swear!” Then BOOM “Oh Im pregnant, so you can't leave me.” It'll only get worse
Our wedding was all about her as well. She wanted to make sure everyone knew she loved her daughter despite her being queer.
She’s gotten better over the years, but it seems that she’s fallen back into this habit of making any of our big life events about her. It really sucks for my wife because she loves her mom.
If it were me, those are three red flags I couldn’t get past. I would just end it or keep it non-serious. I’m not sure how important those issues are for you but it seems to be enough to make a post about it. I guess think about what intentions you want with the dude and think about how his views would affect your relationship, if one were to come.
I think this relationship is toxic because she doesn’t know what you need in order to overcome your addiction. From what I understand of both of your posts is that there’s no communication of what you need to handle and deal with your addiction. So unless you’re ready to have a serious conversation about what is happening in your therapy and what are actions you need to be taking and what she can do to help, you just need a break up with her.
Fundamentally, a porn addiction is because you’re driving dopamine from watching porn and masturbating to it. Doing so makes sexual acts a coping mechanism for something else. Your wife, or any future partner, does not want a relationship with somebody who is going to view sex as a coping mechanism. Sex should be an experience between two people expressing their affection for one another. So if you’re only viewing sex as a coping mechanism in order to produce dopamine in order to feel good, you shouldn’t be in a relationship or in the least sex shouldn’t be part of a relationship until you have a healthier relationship with sex. I feel like your therapist should’ve gone over this kind of stuff with you.
You’re on Reddit complaining about your relationship when the majority of the faults in your relationship is because you won’t let go of this particular way you view/experience sex.
He has trust and control issues that you are suffering for. He made you leave the gym because he thought you were staring? That’s completely irrational. He is deeply insecure for acting this way and never letting it go.
I would never put up with being repeatedly blamed for something I didn’t do and is honestly minor in the first place. He needs professional help.
??? Why tf does she need to know about a dick pimple?
Thank you. I am going to the police tomorrow when my kids are in school. I’m just so sad and scared about what’s to come
Good luck. Better awaits you.
Where's the new anger for your husband? It's not just them that lied and hid it from you. They went off the word of your husband that you knew. Though I do think it was cheek for her to become your friend. She could have made excuses to not be close.
Where to begin? There's a lot in this post.
It's not likely that you're doing anything wrong. Your expectations of people may be unrealistic, and you may be impatient, but that's not really wrong in the sense that you're being bad.
Most people enjoy good sex. Not as many enjoy good conversation. You probably look like sex with you would be good. It's hard to guess by looking at someone whether a conversation with them would be good. The other important thing to note is that the desire for good sex tends to be more urgent in young men than the desire for good conversation.
In other words, I don't think you should be surprised by the attention you get. You just might have to make more of an effort to find what you're looking for.
He’s a predator. Post your story, his name and photo on social media. It might scare him off if he has other ideas for you. He might not be done with you. Get a restraining order also.
Jokes on him, it’s probably not possible to alter those pants appropriately. Factory sewing machines do things that home sewing machines can’t. The seams of fabric is often too thick to pass through a home sewing machine without breaking it. When you alter it, the pants are going to end up not looking how he imagines them. Another poster explained why.
I want to go back and take care of little kid you ?
I think I might need this due to my bruxism. One jaw is more forward and shaped differently, I also dont have full range of the motion on that side. I grind the left side far more while asleep.
Yeah I used to end up pretending any illness wa related to periods. The only thing he couldn’t have “worse”.
Something needs to light a torch under her ass, if the thought occurring to her that she has been a spineless push over for these two creeps then nothing will.
That’s gonna be a “nope” from me. She’s done and so is that friend
Get another lawyer, you want one that says “we'll try everything” or “we'll get you the custody”.
Don't feel like you're asking him for special treatment. Going in dry is painful for most women. It should be a standard for sex to start as non-penetrative and to progress to penetrative only if it feels good to both parties. The fact that he views sex as something for his benefit where your pleasure is only seen as a toll to access it is disgusting.
What was the nature of the relationship with this “old fling?”
Either way, we need to put things into perspective. Before we do, the truth is that he might very well be an absolute piece of shit, a horrible partner, and everything you fear; we simply don’t know that.
What we do know is you, so that’s what I’m going to focus on. You’re four months in and you’re here worried about literally everything. In short, you don’t trust him. Whether you’re right or wrong doesn’t matter; no healthy relationship works without trust.
Finally, you’re again this early in and already snooping through his personal shit. Is that really how you want to online? There’s no good ending. You snooping means you already don’t trust him. BEST case scenario is that you’re right, which means he’s a scumbag and it’s over. The other scenario is that he’s a good person but your insecurities push him away.
You are an idiot if you stay stand your ground and leave like you told yourself you would
I will not be watching the birth of my child from below. I know I would faint. I will support my wife from the safety of her chest/head. She also doesn't want to witness it (I guess they can set up mirrors for the mother).
I think its fair of you to respond negatively towards your husbands comment. But don't hold it over his head forever, thats only going to harm your relationship long-term.
So would you be okay with him fucking other women?
It is HIS body afterall…. As long as they're consenting, what right do you have to tell him not to?
You’re best totally cutting off all communication with him. I know you’re hurting, but there’s literally nothing he could say that will make you feel better. Nothing.
It will hurt her, be there for her cuz itll probably take an emotional toll. Make sure to tell her you are sorry for lying and that you did it because you didnt want to see her hurt, but realized she has the right to know. Say it in a way that shows her that you genuinely respect her, and just didnt want to complicate things for her
These are all very good points I hadn't considered. Thank you for the link too.
Yeah if she gets overly upset I see it as a red flag.
I save all mine and am up-front about it. It's more of like a diary of sorts. It does have all the racy content, but everything else too. I get how it could be difficult to see it, and if he is fixated on it, things are not ok. But having it and occasionally looking at it not an issue. If he's not over his x, that's another thing.
Oh yeah that’s a big deal. How long until phase 1 is over ?
Sounds like whenever he wants some from you he just tells you that him and his gf are “not together right now.” Sounds like a lie!
Your first priority is yourself – since you work with this person, think about how telling her might affect your work environment.
But the moral answer is yes you should tell her.
So, you have spoken to her on occasion, are in the same club and she tells you that you are handsome.
Telling “everyone” they are handsome isn't something people normally do as if they have a date, that could cause a minor issue.
Now, you have stated you have body dismorphia. This means you view yourself differently than most people would. You were well dressed, presumably well groomed… there is a greater than 2/3 chance she meant what she said.
I'd ask her out, if you are interested. After a few dates, you should explain how BD affects your perception of your body. Accept anything she says about your body as her truthful opinion, even if you don't share it. I knew a girl who thought her bf's facial burns were sexy. Her dad had similar burns (not on the face). So, even if you feel you are not handsome, someone else may think you are very hot.
“What did I do wrong” ??? rented an expensive car for Valentine’s Day as a surprise. ??? bruhhhh that’s a surprise for yourself ??? 30 and dense af.
“What did I do wrong” ??? rented an expensive car for Valentine’s Day as a surprise. ??? bruhhhh that’s a surprise for yourself ??? 30 and dense af.
RemindMe! 3 days
Well we know bc would be better but that isn't an option here so thd point is moot. Better take it now and hope it works than do nothing and have to get an abortion
It's just gonna be a cycle of the same thing. She's gonna change and be the best for like a month, then go back to the same behavior. You're gonna break up again, and then the cycle will repeat.
If she's this bad now, imagine her pregnant. That sounds like hell.
I'd cut your losses and move on. Remember, it took you breaking up with her for her to want to get better. Not you telling her off, not you bending to her will.
I would also suggest not having sex with her, I've heard too many stories of “I'll change, I swear!” Then BOOM “Oh Im pregnant, so you can't leave me.” It'll only get worse
Just end it. She didn't change that fast. She just sees her meal ticket getting away and she's panicking.
It not new at all.
Our wedding was all about her as well. She wanted to make sure everyone knew she loved her daughter despite her being queer.
She’s gotten better over the years, but it seems that she’s fallen back into this habit of making any of our big life events about her. It really sucks for my wife because she loves her mom.
If it were me, those are three red flags I couldn’t get past. I would just end it or keep it non-serious. I’m not sure how important those issues are for you but it seems to be enough to make a post about it. I guess think about what intentions you want with the dude and think about how his views would affect your relationship, if one were to come.
I think this relationship is toxic because she doesn’t know what you need in order to overcome your addiction. From what I understand of both of your posts is that there’s no communication of what you need to handle and deal with your addiction. So unless you’re ready to have a serious conversation about what is happening in your therapy and what are actions you need to be taking and what she can do to help, you just need a break up with her.
Fundamentally, a porn addiction is because you’re driving dopamine from watching porn and masturbating to it. Doing so makes sexual acts a coping mechanism for something else. Your wife, or any future partner, does not want a relationship with somebody who is going to view sex as a coping mechanism. Sex should be an experience between two people expressing their affection for one another. So if you’re only viewing sex as a coping mechanism in order to produce dopamine in order to feel good, you shouldn’t be in a relationship or in the least sex shouldn’t be part of a relationship until you have a healthier relationship with sex. I feel like your therapist should’ve gone over this kind of stuff with you.
You’re on Reddit complaining about your relationship when the majority of the faults in your relationship is because you won’t let go of this particular way you view/experience sex.
He has trust and control issues that you are suffering for. He made you leave the gym because he thought you were staring? That’s completely irrational. He is deeply insecure for acting this way and never letting it go.
I would never put up with being repeatedly blamed for something I didn’t do and is honestly minor in the first place. He needs professional help.