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I like the sound of that-worshiping women like goddesses.
Sounds like a case of “my emotions aren't there and I need a bad boy”. The only saving grace is you're both still very young. We ALL have bad habits or habits that our bf/gf doesn't like. I bet you have some he can't stand but that's how relationships are. If you let him go and set him free don't try to weasel your way back and let him be free to be out there.
Be warned though that you may regret it one day when you realize there wasn't better out there. Not saying there isn't. Finding someone new isn't the hard part but finding someone you actually connect with on many levels is.
Stop being Fwb, you’re no longer in the mental space where that will work. Go back to friends if you can. If the other person wants more they will let you know. If not you are an adult and you will have to deal with it. Sorry but this is the truth of fwb lifestyle
She’s 17 lol
You’re fine, not sounding like that at all. I mean I feel like I try to participate like give him a break so to say, like going down on him occasionally or riding. But I guess I do just lay the because after thinking about your question he did tell me that I just lay there and let him do all the work.
Three months is not really too long. It sounds like he's drifting away and hoping you won't notice, or that you'll be the one to call things off.
Sorry to say, sounds like there's not much of a relationship anymore.
Old person here, sober for 10+ years. Hate to say it because you sound genuinely concerned and kind, but he’s definitely alcoholic and he needs some sort of abstinence program or treatment (AA et al), and to spare yourself the heartache, please consider completely blocking him until he’s out of treatment, gets a sponsor, and works recovery for a good long time. This back and forth is typical – we (alcoholics) do this: lean, drink, go back to those that love us and let us – until they don’t. I learned this as both the alcoholic leaner and the homeless woman that worked recovery, and then got involved with a leaner. He broke me. So please please if you care, which I think you, drop him off at a treatment center or a meeting. I wish you the best of luck and love ❤️
Do you want the next 6 years of your life to be like this?
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I'm not even pregnant but I'm 1000000% sure that if my hubby call me little whale even if it's just a sweet nickname I would cry so bad… I'm a big girl .. and I never cry (just when I'm close to my period, then I cry almost because the mosquito didn't bite me) but yeah… Hormones make us wild… My doctor told me once that if I get to kill anyone it would be totally justified because of my hormones… Crazy thing? My lawyer endorsed it
Tell his mom
Why not, if they remember them fondly and feel bad for the family? It’s not a bad thing to have fond memories of a former lover. It doesn’t mean you were in contact or even thought of them in the last decade. Hearing someone is unexpectedly dead tends to bring on a wave of nostalgia and regret even if it’s someone firmly in your past.
What’s missing from your post is how you feel about all this. Do you like her? Do you like her husband? Do you want to escalate your contact with them? I think the answers to those questions are very pertinent.
The situation is unusual. You might not be cheating, but it’s approaching an emotional affair. If you have feelings for her, even more so.
Her husband is either oblivious, tolerant, or secretly looking for it to happen. Who knows. You aren’t a mind reader. If you really want to open Pandora’s box, you’re gonna have to communicate.
Im not “showing off” and saying thank you isn’t enough. I’m only rich because of them. I consider them family.
Exactly. The big thing driving a lot of the comments here is the marital status and gender roles.
My uncle (who owns a used car dealership) gave me a car for my 18th birthday. Nothing grand. It was probably worth $9-10K and he probably wanted to get it off the lot. If my dad had been pissy and claimed that his brother was trying to step in and be a dad to me, I'd have told dad to get some fresh air. That's not what any of this is about.
Egos suck.
so some of these takes are a bit much.
she's spending it alone in the hotel because of an allergy and pretty rightly upset because she's alone on Christmas. Blocking is extreme and likely because she just feels abandoned. She should respect that your mom didn't want her around, but maybe she could've stayed home nearby and you could've spent the night with her.. how were you to know about the situation she'd be in beforehand?
but she is right in her feeling upset. how would you feel if your partner sent you to visit family during the holiday and you got stuck alone instead of with family? you'd be upset too.
yall need to have an adult conversation about things and if this is really going to be her make or break, then the relationship wasn't strong to begin with
Well that’s sexist as fuck.
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While I do believe that if you've cheated in your past relationships you should always disclose it at some point in your relationship before engagement he has no right to throw it in your face.
The reason I believe you should is because it shows more growth then trying to hide it does. I've cheated on one of my partners before as revenge for him cheating on me, I fully disclosed this to my current partner when we got serious, he knows the circumstances and he's never thrown it in my face or used it as a reason to distrust me. He knows I've learned two wrongs don't make a right and I've always reassured him when he's gotten worried as long as he wasn't throwing my history in my face.
I've always seen it as something that should be disclosed because some people actually believe people cannot change when in reality people can, considering people who never had history of cheating cheat sometimes. It's the people who try and justify it who you look out for v.s the people who admit it's wrong.
Get the test at this point the relationship is over anyways he will ALWAYS find a way to throw it in your face even if it comes out as his kid he will always try to find a way to use it against you. Get the test and divorce.
I didnt really have many options (I couldnt find a place, I couldnt just go back to my country as it would almost automatically cancel my visa and it was just a no return solution that I couldnt do) so I just try to wait. I was mostly waiting for him to get a job which he should start next year. He offered to help me get an apartment and we will see how things go from there.
I feel your approach is reasonable. I guess my question would be, why she isn’t out with her friends? LDRs are super difficult, but you can’t give up your entire in-person social life, because you are in a LDR. If you’ve already spent Christmas Eve together, I really see no issue with going out tonight.
However, ultimately my opinion doesn’t matter – her’s does. If she wants you at home and is super upset you don’t want to be there, then that is the issue to tackle. This is who your girlfriend is. She wants to spend all special occasions with you and is upset about you having a social life that doesn’t include her, on those dates. Are you okay with that? Is that something you want to live! with? Because currently you two have different expectations and that is a recipe for disaster.
Nope, no way, tell him to be sure he has a parachute, it might come in handy.
Not sure but side note the first thing I did after reading this was Google Armie Hammer to find his age… Be careful of those rich cannibal fuckers.
I feel like by 35, it's an insecurity he should have grown out of by now. By 35, he should understand that he doesn't have a porn sized cock and that's okay. The average guy doesn't, just like the average woman isn't trying to get impaled on an erect fire hose. Not to mention, it sounds like he's having great sex with a woman who enjoys it.
Dump his ass! He's basically telling you that you're nothing but a baby factory to him!
You don't NEED kids. You have them because you want them and if you don't want them THEN THAT'S PERFECTLY FINE!
Children are a choice and conveniently, so is your abusive boyfriend. Dump his ass.
You’re plan B I would wager
Don’t get married to this person
In his words, “I like apple pie but I want to try other flavors.” Lol. Basically he wanted to date and have sex with other women. He had already broken up with me for a week beforehand to date another girl. The day after he broke up with me I went to his house to try to talk to him and she was there. Then I connected the dots and realized he had been cheating on me.
My whole self worth as a person was wrapped up in him, so devastated was an understatement but I am so happy that he finally let me go so I could find my own happiness. He dated the one girl for a while but they broke up and he’s been single for the last 5 or so years because he has only shown interest in the physical qualities of women instead of who they are as a person.
I really really hope you don’t go through with the surgery and leave him. Speaking from experience, he is incapable of loving a women as he should. It’s going to be really naked at first but you’ll be so glad in the future.
I mentioned the IUD and the one that goes in her arm. She said her mom switched to the arm one and within a year got pregnant with her little brother so she didn't want to do that one. With the IUD she said the thought of how they insert it and how painful it would be scared her and she didn't want to do it
Wish I could return the compliment.
Back in the day I dated a man five foot seven, maybe eight and he weighed like 140 pounds. I'm five foot six and at the time I weighed 113 (which was underweight for my build). He started getting insecure about it, making remarks about my 'big' feet and telling me of exercise programs he'd put me through if I gained weight.
He ended up with a woman shorter than five feet and I wound up dodging a bullet. Sounds like it's the same for you. Move on.
Yeah either way it doesn't matter. Own what happened, you did it because you wanted some revenge, it is what it is. Just tell him directly, it's best he finds out from you.
How about medically assisted death so you don't have to suffer alone? There's a few places you can get this done. Fair to assume you're on the U.S with exorbitant medical costs?
I hope you remember your words of “wisdom” the next time you want to end a relationship… should that be in your future.
What an unpredictable situation! Your boyfriend—who has been clear about liking your hair long—wasn't happy with your “surprise” when you cut off all your hair! Who could have possibly seen this conflict coming? Why didn't he like your fun surprise??
Look, you control you. If you want to shave your head and get a face tattoo, that is your absolute right and your guy doesn't get a say. But it's not on him to like it. You haven't said if he's actually being mean—just that his actions make you feel like rubbish. If he's being an asshole, boot him. But if it's just that he's not into something he's always told you he's not into then that's 100% on you.
Sounds like you made the right choice. Having kids with an anti-vaxxer is a terrible idea.
On-line and let online. If you accidentally catch them doing something, it will confirm your suspicion. Since they are not related, it's just two people together.
“Grooming. You may have heard the term as it applies to children, but adults can also groom other adults – even at work. By definition, grooming is when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with someone so they can manipulate, exploit and/or abuse them.”
If the sink isn’t clean, don’t cook for him. I used to have a similar job with periods like this and would have posh ready meals that I’d pick up on the way home. When you get home if it’s clean and you want to cook, do. If it’s not clean, have your meal and say you don’t have all evening to cook and clean and so you can’t do it when there’s dishes in the sink.
oh christ get a hobby. it’s not like it’s a middle aged dude they’ve been dating since she was 18 and he was 21. thats 3 years.
Most would be offended and leave.
Why aren’t you?
Yeah that dude just ended his relationship with one question. It's a bummer but it happens. My ex ended ours with one offhand comment as well. It's wild how once the flip is switched it just done sometimes.
I'm gonna say it. It's kinda fucked up that you seem more upset about losing a carload of crap than you are about losing your child. Maybe don't worry about your lost curling iron and laptop and worry about getting your kid back instead?
You're putting way too much energy into this piece of crap guy when you need to put it towards making your child your priority in life. I get that someone else stepped up and took over your job as a parent but it's not too late to redeem yourself. Your life sounds like a complete disaster and it's really no wonder you ended up at a hotel in the middle of the night with your entire life's possessions stuffed into a shitty car. You need to start your life over one step at a time and the first step should be dumping your piece of shit boyfriend.
Shit friends dude
no, she was
You can’t make her do anything. She isn’t leaving him, both she and you were selfish to cheat. She could have left him at any point and she doesn’t want to. Stop communicating and work on yourself.
Basically, telling her you understand how she needs to be in control of her life – and you need to be in control of yours. You care about her, but this isn't what you signed up for. Expecting you to keep things just as they were would be every bit as unfair as expecting her to keep herself just as she was.
If the father doesn’t want the money going to the brother because the brother has been LC/NC for the past how many years then they should act on that now otherwise when the father passes the brother will inherit anyway
A woman that doesn't have sex with the man she is with it is lack of respect for the man. It means that she doesn't respect him and that she doesn't consider him alpha male.
He even stole money from his mum so his mum kicked him out.
Stealing from his own mother, lol. Imagine what he would do to you if it benefited him
my family set me up for an arranged marriage!
Yeah I would be on the phone to some kind of help service about this.
Do you have anyone close to you in your life that isn't a scumbag that you could talk to? Honestly it just sounds like you need one decent human being in your life to set a much higher standard than the scum you are surrounded with
There won’t be kids if there is no sex.
First things first, you can't confirm nothing was deleted. There is no notification after you delete something. It's gone. Second, her showing you her messages don't mean anything. He was clearly writing her. They've been in contact. The fact is your true emotions are felt when you're separated from her gaslighting. Therapy is a good thing. You do need to try that out but don't stay in a relationship because of financial reasons or because of guilt. She sat on this for years. Can you be happy at knowing that after? Can you see her the same? Do what's best for you. Especially if there's no children involved. You didn't mention it. Good luck!
You should go, you're young and shouldn't have to be dealing with this at your age. Either way, your dealing with an alcoholic or an alcoholic in recovery ( if he decides to get sober)
He has to want to stop for himself, you can try and talk to him about it but ultimately it's down to him to give a shit about his life to stop.
Consent can be withdrawn at any time, even partway through. However, I’d really not do this
No one is busier than someone who isn’t interested in you..//
Sure, I’m busy rn but I can post some sources later on. What specifically do you need? Proof about cuddling being beneficial to mental health or proof about masculinity being detrimental to emotional expression?
Most adult males want to have a sexual relationship with the woman they love. However you do get to decide if you want sex, but there is a price.
I just watched a Netflix series called Echoes where twin sisters swap lives (including husbands, without them knowing) every year on their birthday. Methinks OP might have seen this too.
He’s absolutely manipulating you. The age gap is a massive red flag, too.
Scary accurate. Its hard to realize all of this when looking through rose colored glasses. Thank you. Now i realize he inhabited all of these qualities.
Just stay out of it.
You don’t know what is going on with any certainty. And you don’t know what arrangement she and the husband have. Being in an arranged marriage and spending so much time apart, maybe they have some kind of agreement to sort of live! separate lives.
If you’re uncomfortable with the situation, talk to Sara. Stop hanging out with her and Ted.
Tell the counselor you don’t want to retraumatize yourself by opening up, and want to give just enough information to be informative. They will understand.
Yet, you can’t respect the fact that he wants to marry a man. Pot, meet kettle.
He senses it because you keep suggesting it. Idk you both have issues, for everyone’s sake just stay broken up. Meanwhile work on your shit
Play stupid games – lose stupid games.
First, those age differences are sending a lot of icky vibes here. Just getting that out of the way.
How old was this girl when you first confessed to her? Even then, BEFORE this other guy come around into the picture, this girl’s own reaction was “no” and she avoided you for a few days. She has never seen you like that and never expressed an interest in being with you in that capacity.
There is a super weird dynamic going on here, you’re a decade over than this girl who you knew as a teen. But whatever that dynamic is, she has rejected you on her own a few times.
Your obsession with this guy’s “betrayal” is because you’re trying to make it seem like HE is to blame for you not getting with the girl. She already rejected you. But you dont respect that, you dont value her autonomy the same way. Instead you are trying to discredit het rejection by saying it was influenced by someone else, therefore invalidated and you still get to pursue her.
So many questions of why and what the hell…
Thank you.
Honestly I wouldn't give it to much thought. It's only going g to hurt you and make you. Itter for no reason. I would cut ties with this cousin.
Nb: I personally believe she made it up cause you said no and she is a bitch
Everyone is entitled to an opinion and I think general the part of your body that releases excrement wouldn't have much alure unless you watch how media displays it.
I guess you could like poo or have heard about it through some form of podcast because every other way is pornography at some level. Right?
You don't! Break up!
Tell them ur single bc u want to be. Live! ur life for u or u will be miserable.
I feel like 20 minutes out of an entire evening is nothing. If they were in the middle of something that would be different, but it sounds like they were just chilling in the same space. OP even says they were just on their phones.