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i’d spend all of his saved money on myself and my body and then get a divorce.
Just break up. This is a mess, not a relationship
Get out of there. Go somewhere safe.
Tell him to move back out, that's not working, you are too young, don't know each other enough and your relationship is less than perfect.
Yep! My thoughts exactly.
Go spend $800 getting your own lap dances
Please relocate or start lining up a new job. Men at my age (27) do NOT date 19 yo’s unless no one around our age will date them. They are fuck ups and rely on naive young girls to manipulate bc the girls our age know they are red flags and abusive.
This guy is using you and manipulating you and is NOT ready for a relationship. HE is a grown ass fucking man and can handle his own shit. He is NOT your responsibility. Hell, if you are in an okay position to quit, please do so you can nope out of this ASAP.
If he refuses to let you go, do not HESITATE to say you will call the coos for harassment. Put your foot down and stop letting this guy use you like a doormat. Its fucking embarrassing he’s using a teenagers car at his age. Like others have said, date people your age and have fun, this guy isn’t providing even the bare minimum to this relationship.
Honestly id also suggest therapy because this relationship has been so toxic and you don’t seem to have a strong foundation with setting boundaries with people and have lower than average expectations in what you need in a relationship.
That's fine, however it's obviously important to him especially if they are all in frequent contact together, it could appear that it was something that was trying to be hidden. She also asked for details of his sexual past but then omitted this part of hers? If it isn't a big deal to her, then why omit?
Therein lies your problem. Work on yourself. You’re not going to end up alone. You’re 21 for Christ’s sake! She probably senses you’re needy. Total turn off. No one wants a guy who shows signs of being clingy within 1.5 months. I’m not sure I would even call that a relationship. It’s more of an incubation period
Cool name ojos claros, clear eyes. But yes if you don’t like how you look like in regards to your scaring it can affect your self attractiveness and worth therefore not wanting to have sex.
This is the most immature post I’ve seen on here
So it’s a crime then at least in the US because it’s child pornography. My boyfriend lied to me about his age for the first year of our relationship because he couldn’t figure out how to get out of a joke he and his brother started when we first met (with no romantic interest), but he only said he was one year older and we are both adults. I forgave him because it’s a stupid lie and no harm done but it put a fracture in our trust that he had to earn back.
You need to break up with him. There’s no future here, even when you become legal. He won’t want to have been with you after lying to him so drastically.
Quick note: instagram following isn’t what it used to be. Please be aware that women use this method instead of giving Snapchat or their numbers out so we can block them or hide their profile easily without fear. I give out my instagram to keep it easy and I never message or talk to people on there except to send videos. I’ve been in a relationship for awhile and mention the instagram method and he’s done it too to people he’s not comfortable with.
Yes, in a comment he said she destroyed a keepsake paw print from his deceased dog and pissed on the dog's toy. This person cannot be sane.
Okay but if she told him exactly what she did and doesn’t interact with them what’s the big deal it’s scary having men bother you asking for your socials and you never know what they are capable of hell just the other day a girl was just killed for rejecting a guy not to mention her roommates as well.
Suppose she had an affair. Either it didn't go anywhere, or she's been remarkably effective at concealing it; in either case, would you do anything differently? If you knew that she'd had an affair, would you want to get divorced? Or would you just want her to shave her pubic hair for you, at least once?
People do make mistakes in relationships. Humans aren't perfect, after all. Given that your wife has stayed with you, and you mention nothing about her treating you any differently, even if she did have an affair, it doesn't seem to have been transformational for her. She clearly didn't choose to be with the other person and leave you, for instance; if there was another person, maybe he wasn't so great compared to you!
It is also possible that she's telling the truth about what happened. It might have been a one-time thing she did on a whim.
But I think you need to figure out why it would matter to you, at this point in time, if you knew either way what happened. If you wouldn't change anything about your marriage, if you wouldn't do anything differently, what value is there in knowing?
What you could do is ask your wife why she's stayed with you all these decades. What is it about you that made her choose you as her life companion. Listen to what she says. You may find that more valuable than knowing details from some business trip that happened late last century.
You may also find value in the book, After the Affair, by Janis Spring. She's a marriage counselor, who wrote the book for people dealing with discovery of an affair, both the hurt partner and the unfaithful partner. She talks about the kinds of things that can provoke an affair, the emotions each partner experiences, and what it takes to rebuild trust and intimacy in a relationship afterwards. It may give you some understanding of what you are thinking, and a way to look at how your wife treats you to see if your supposition even makes sense.
Nothing in your post suggests that she was unhappy in your marriage before this trip, or that she was being secretive, or that she demanded you do things differently on her return. In other words, the other signs one would expect to see if she did have an affair aren't there. So if she did, but it had no effect on your marriage, why does it matter?
You need to tell her the truth, but yes your relationship will likely not be the same! That is a huge lie!
Also important to note I’m not religious so it wasn’t “gddnm” that upset me, it was the aggressive tone (I didn’t type the word in case there is anybody on here who is :))
In another comment, someone asked if they were in a relationship, and he said “ no, trying to get there”.
No one here is resentful for being single. OP said she doesn't want to date.
I guess the next issue will be who tells him?
This is whole other can of worms, my mom came to me a few days ago and said that he had already invited my brother. I still got a while to figure this out, thank you for the advice!
I would have broken up with her and not taken her back. Just remember she showed you her true colors.
I wouldn't tell the husband anything. That is just keeping the whole thing alive with unnecessary drama. Just tell her that you are not going to become involved in such a situation and that you don't think that the two of you should continue to see or talk to each other on any level. Rid your life of her and make sure it stays that way
In one of your comments on the previous post, you mention the FIL and how he thinks the BIL is jealous of his relationship with the MIL. Is the FIL the BILs dad or step dad? Because there’s something really off about a father saying that about a son, and it often happens most when the father is a step and neglects or abuses the child, but then victim blames and gaslights the child for acting out by explaining it as jealousy. So if your brother has been gaslight enough and was already awkward with limited social skills, what you describe could be the outcome of how that all played out. The brother still needs help, and is still not safe, It’s just there’s probably more to it than the BIL flipping out on FIL for what seems at first glance as nothing.
I work in a rehab and am in recovery myself. I hear this story on the daily from returning clients and see it play out in real time constantly. Ive only heard of it working out 1 time and I’ve been in recovery for almost a decade.
You've said it yourself – you are EXTREMELY VULNERABLE to manipulation right now, have deep seated self esteem/worthiness issues and ran away from rehab with a man old enough to be your father. Girl.
I know people can be rude/cruel to these types of posts and you don't deserve that, but sifting through the piles of replies that are screaming WTF trying to find some that are encouraging of this situation is a mistake.
Fuck this dude who has “already taken his anger out on you”, actively uses and has cheated on you already. You need to focus on YOURSELF, ALONE. You need to heal your body and your mind, and every second longer you spend trapped in this go nowhere hell, you are stealing time away from your future. You are literally fucking yourself.
Get clean. Get support. Do NOT try to date anyone until you yourself are at peace and moving through life in a way that brings peace to you and those around you.
Finance is something that causes a lot of people to split up and a degree usually enable better finances.
Personally I would not be with a guy who does not have a degree that enables him to contribute financially.
Covering him isn’t a sister’s job. That is a parents job. And if your brother isn’t 10, they can be covering themselves up. You are overly stressed pretending to be your mom.
Reach out to her
the fun part of life is, we are all entitled to online it the way we want. no one needs to lighten up, you need mind your own business. at your big age you should know better than trying to get people to compromise on their values and beliefs. maybe try a hobby instead?
It’s so very hot to reconcile that he could be so kind and now is so cruel. And past love does really bind people together. But as another said he is no longer that person. People can change drastically, and it sounds like he has a traumatic job, and that can really affect people so deeply too.
Would you consider maybe trying to grieve the loss of that version of him? If you can mourn that that time in your life is over, and process it, maybe your heart can start to open up to a different future for yourself that doesn’t involve feeling afraid all the time
Bro you just described my last relationship.
Leave. Don’t give an ultimatum because he’s not going to take you seriously. This a toxic relationship that is ONLY going to get worse.
Not saying it in a mean way but if you’re scared to go home do you honestly think your marriage will last? He clearly has anger issues and it’s up to him to realized he needs help.
I think you should leave NOT divorce. Sit down talk to him tell him his anger is scaring you to the point you don’t feel like coming home. If he loves you enough he should want to get help until then you should leave.
What is your reaction when he turns you down? I had a similar issue earlier in my relationship and I would get my feelings hurt at being rejected and it would sour my mood which would then make things tense between us
Unless that someone better already there and he just sitting the stage for break up
Suicidal… is this a normal expectation when you have your siblings over?
No, this is terrible advice. The children will notice of you're in a loveless marriage, which let's be serious won't last anyway.
Yes! My ex cheated and then got engaged three months after we broke up. I knew I had a lucky escape. I assume your partner cheated and while you’ll feel upset, naturally, their cheating is all down to them. Do not blame yourself. Your partner didn’t see your worth and someone else will. People who cheat are not meant to for long-term set ups.
Yeah don't marry someone who does not have the same mindset about money that you have
Marriage is very hot enough
I know you know this and I'm not trying to be callous. But you ended your relationship with him rather impulsively over your perception of his actions.
I don't know that you'll have another chance here because I'm pretty sure that specifically is why he isn't wanting to gamble on this further. “What happens next time?”
Spot on man.
Nah i would never abandon someone I have feelings for, unless they were disloyal to me.
If the situation was reversed and that were my boyfriend crying at home, I'd figuratively slap him and remind him that he cannot let all the sacks of shit out in the world rule his life and that the only way forward was being harder. Because that's the truth.
I recently broke up with my ex because he did the exact same thing OP described. (Probably on another account) I posted about what happened on one of the ranting subs and the reaction was exactly how you described.
The double standards are disgusting and I don't want anyone to go through this horrible dynamic no matter the sex.
In addition to the smart stuff everyone already said, you also need to not talk about it. When she asked that question, you should have said “I don’t find that talking about how many people we’ve slept with leads to any sort of greater understanding about who we are as people, so let’s just keep the numbers to ourselves.”
“Probably”
Yep! Couldn’t agree with you more, my friend!
Half a year seems pretty unreasonable
I know, and I'm sorry
She grew out of it and then whats next?
Yeah I guess number 2 is my main concern.
It’s not about cheating- cuz I know she wouldn’t…it’s about her being hurt and angry that I told her I feel uncomfortable by that, and that she doesn’t see the problem the way I do so she got angry for me saying there’s a problem with that
(Problem= I find it inappropriate in a relationship, not that I think she will cheat or do something with them and I clarified it to her)
Man this has given me a reminder of something sus that happened with my boyfriend and his friends while I was out of town for a weekend. His one buddy (who’s known for drug use, cheating, and alcoholism) sent my boyfriend $1000, then my boyfriend sent it to someone named “bob” which turned out to be a women named Isabelle. Still not sure what happened that night. I know the 3 friends he was with did drugs and went out somewhere but my bf told me he stayed home.
Although you may not know what exactly went down that night, at least you have some sort of evidence, and that you’ve done the right thing for yourself and children. I’m so sorry he did this to you, I understand the feeling of betrayal.
It’s common for some men to choose women who are significantly younger than them because they are easier to influence and control.
I’m guessing there are other examples of his controlling behavior that you’ve normalized or decided to overlook, and that has given him permission to take even more control. And now y’all are married.
How do you proceed? Tell him that you don’t want to wear lingerie as currency for intimacy. That you want sexual intimacy to be unconditional, when you’re both feeling aroused. Tell him that you don’t feel like sex is an organically happening thing; that you would feel more connected to him and to your relationship if it was more spontaneous and didn’t rely on you (and you alone) doing specific prep work. Tell him that his expectation for you to “look your best” is something he should be willing to reciprocate without shaming you about it.
Not sure how long you’ve been married, but my guess is that he wanted a “hot, young wife” and doesn’t really seem to care about the actual person filling that role for him.
Is the friend that you are going to take instead a girl?
Don't do anything you are not comfortable with.
Take your friend and leave it at that.
Drama always come from doing things like your gf is suggesting
I had the same problem but he was fat, not tall. Figured it was too exhausting for him to do much so I always had to do all work and deal with the hip pain and sore muscles the next day. Is he also selfish and childish in other aspects of the relationship?
Yes I’ve talked to her about that before. I’ve said that I don’t mind if she cook for me as her “date” because yet again, I was trying to be understanding. But she does it once twice then there will be months before any attempt…. So yes I have thought about that
Pretty sure this is the gamblers fallacy
The relief is that you finally got rid of him pressuring you to marry him you were never going to marry him you just didn't know it and he probably knew that that's why he was trying to lock you down so fast.
I can see that, but there is no magic button to fix her. She needs to want to change
You literally abandoned him for three fcking years tho? Poor child.
Maybe she’s trying to foist you off on her sister?
i want an answer to my question. “how do i make him stop”. i'm asking for A not B, but everyone keeps answering everything other than my question
It's more likely that this is who he really is and he was putting on a show for the last 6 months.
What was the fight about and why does she feel she can’t trust you for her love and affection to be permissive there could be a valid reason
In Québec, my step sister work presence at is mandatory even tho she is pregnant. She is nurse for health and care service (government job). She also need to work for Christmas. Does she has ambitions to go back to work when the baby will be born?
He is, I’m not. I had no idea.
There are lots of templates online, not a bad idea to do this with her. Maybe there are other things you could try with her.
Thats the thing i dont understand. If she reallt doesnt have anything left for me, why accept my gifts?
Trueee. In that case yeah it’s not too big a deal. I just have always been hypersexual so I’m not sure if it will affect me later but I guess if I enjoy it now I don’t see how it would change much.
Relationships end and it will be painful, but you chalk it up to a learning experience where you’re figuring out what you want and don’t want for yourself. You have permission to break up with him. None of what you described makes this man sound wonderful and amazing.
His nude and cold behaviour towards you is him being moody and immature, leaving you on eggshells wondering how he’s going to be that day. You deserve to be with someone who wants to be around you all the time. It can and does exist. For real!
His treatment of the cats is concerning, also while undermining your plan. This is bad.
You do ALL the housework and cleaning!! Girl what??? This is terrible. He lives in that house too.
You already know you can’t/won’t marry him as his lack of effort and inability to help create the loving, warm home you want is who he is NOW Explore this realization and your feelings more fully. It’s your gut telling you what you want in your life and that this is not it.
Do it now because closer it gets to the holidays , the harder it’ll be for her and you. She can always return the present. There’s no need to string her along.
God I hate the whole gift giving thing.
Depending on your age and social media usage…I’d just send some funny or light hearted posts on Instagram that you think she’d like. That’s how my ex and I reconnected. He would reply to photos of my dog and send me funny dog videos.
r/lostredditors
duly noted!
There, you have similar history that you can relate to. Learn from your past.
My parents have a relationship like Gomez and Morticia and I want the same thing as well whenever I want to have a relationship.
Very hot times happen.
How people deal with them is important. You can talk to him, and say that you know how much he's hurting and you're sorry, but that it's not right that he behaves like this to his family -add specific examples –
Or you can leave him if it's a deal breaker for you. Now his father is dying, in the future there will be more relatives passing, or he'll have a bad time with work, or whatever. Life is shitty sometimes, for everyone. It's up to you to decide what's forgivable and what's not.
Okay, but keep going. I'm not saying this to be hostile, but stop pussyfooting around it.
Are YOU having a problem with their ex's race/ethnicity? Are you worried about your family finding out?
For people commenting in this thread, we don't know if this is a cultural issue that might cause problems for you and your girlfriend getting along with your family, or if we should try to talk you out of racist views you might hold, or if you're asking us to acccept any racist views you or your family hold.
If you want advice you have to actually explain the issue. You can't be all “I have this huge problem with my girlfriend and something she did. Well, really it's my problem. Well, actually it's my family. Well, maybe it is kind of me. It really upsets me, what do I do?”
Tell him all of this. You guys haven’t been communicating at all. But if someone dropped this on me at the last minute, I’d stay home.
Well you are 50% resoonsibil for the outcome ^ such passion means you need to keep developing your whole life together
I'd consider it a red flag, honestly. What kind of people invite others to an event they are hosting, and then spring a huge fee on the guest at the last minute? The lack of kindness and the stinginess of both the bf and his family are very concerning.
Normal people don't do this. When they are hosting, they pay the expenses. At the very least, a decent person would give full information that it's a potluck situation and not true hospitality, at the time the invitation is first issued.
Is this level of selfishness and callousness and lack of empathy typical behavior for your boyfriend?
I have never deleted a contact. That would be giving my ex more effort than they're worth
It really is a heavy new perspective I’m seeing. The idea that from the beginning, he planned to have sex regardless. It does suck, but it does make sense. he initiated our convo on that app, meaning he saw my profile with my age and knew his daughter was a year older, but still continued. i can’t explain why he did that, but he really does like me. and i like that feeling. he thinks im so very hot, and he’s not controlling or manipulative. the first time we hooked up, i hate how it went down. of course i never wanted to have sex with him, but it happened anyway and he cant undo it. instead he continues to make me feel good, help me explore my body, and build my confidence. he became a parent at 20 and probably doesn’t even realize not all 20 year olds are as mature as he had to be. from her insta, his daughter is a university student and has a boyfriend. he probably sees me and her as mature. he even told me when i go back to my university, if i get a boyfriend, i can just tell him and cut him off and he’d understand. months later he did mention he liked that he’s the only one who’s hooked up with me, but if i had hooked up with someone else it’d be the same thing. and im youngest person he’s been with. this isn’t something regular for him
from a fellow porn addict, this is the negative effect of porn addiction . not attraction
I've seen some ugly people get married and have kids. Confedence really is everything buddy. Even a blind squirle can find a nut
Tell the truth. Actually I didn’t invite A because he doesn’t seem to like me. I just want to enjoy the trip without any extra stress.
Please please please hear what the people on this thread are saying. You need to protect yourself from this person. Each one of the things you mentioned is a red flag. Age gap🚩Same age group daughter🚩 The blatant disregard for your boundaries day #1 🚩🚩🚩 It doesn't matter if they seem like a like nice guy or he treats you so well. What they did was absolutely not okay. Please seek help.
Honestly, you’re a better person than me. If my partner decides they are trans I am going to give them the ol “ Dueces✌️” and dip.
Wtf, did we read the same post?
Op sounds like a nice partner. Do you not see his problems? You're only attacking him, instead of giving advice.
Give advice or go home.
Trans person here! First of all, what a kind and loving person you are. I know the difference between being generous and gullible is a fine line at times, but in my opinion money (to some extent) can usually be earned back. But it’s good that you put your foot down and cancelled the credit card. You’re not responsible for her finances and especially not when you’re not swimming in money at the moment.
Transitioning can be really difficult and taxing. But that doesn’t mean she gets to opt out of decent human being responsibilities. It was clear to her that this was a loan. It’s within your rights to expect her to pay it back within a reasonable time.
If she doesn’t have the money, she should be able to sit down with you and set down a plan for how and when she’ll be able to pay you back. The fact that she’s turning down work when she owes you money seems really shitty to me. What she could have done was work full time until she paid you back and then taken time off to work on herself. Hell, with a full time job she could also have afforded to see a therapist, buy gender affirming stuff and anything else she wants. To me this all sounds like she’s not really prioritizing you and your financial well-being.
He definitely is. He just wants to be away from her. The relationship must have been so taxing.
No they can.
It just a bit shady to go “I wanna fuck you… Oh you have a boyfriend? That's cool, I'll be your friend instead.”
You started off the friendship by hitting on her. If you started it off completely platonic, completely fine.
Lets be real. You don't have a platonic view of her. Your initial hit on/number grab proves that.
Obviously when you see them in an establishment and you exchange glances, you immediately clink your glass and loudly say
“Everyone can I have your attention please!? This young lady that has just entered was rejected by me and my majestic penis! She simply was not up to my standards and is still hurting from this devastating blow. Please treat her with sympathy, for she is still haunted by the void my amazing genitals have left.”
At least, that's what your comments make it seem how you'd like to react. No wonder she didn't want to be friends 🤷♀️
Lmfao, pathetic and pointless
I hear you, in most cases I’d totally agree. Maybe just to add a side note, just a few days before our lease ended and we moved out, we were looking for places for the next year that she insisted on applying for. We broke up 3 days after the move out. She practically begged me to stay and rent a place with her bc I was considering moving home with my parents to save on rent. Id like to think there has to be something that can be “rekindled”. Like wtf happened this past week yknow?
I dunno. I don’t want to be with some who watches porn for many of the valid reasons in the comments. I personally think the majority of porn is about degrading women, which could definitely impact their behaviors around how they should treat a woman.
Masturbation, I’m okay with. Porn- that’s gonna be a no from me.
Y’all sound incompatible. Lots of other women would be totally fine, and even watch it with you.
Accusing a significant other of cheating is a sign of cheating.
Hell no.
Don't be that guy ffs.
I’m non-monogamous, I’m married to a wonderful man and have 3 other incredible partners. I’m pretty set and happy now. That was a few years back.
You're making a false equivalence argument that is irrelevant to the actual situation in OP's post. It's not about personal hygiene.
I guess we are
Thats a gross mentality. Getting married means adjusting your lifestyle and respecting boundaries. If she wants to do whatever she wants whenever she wants, then she's not mature enough for a marriage.
People need to understand that placing yourself in a position to develop feelings, or have another reasonably develop feelings (regardless of explicit cheating takes place) is disrespectful towards a relationship. Full stop. Many people think towing the line is okay until they stumble over. It is completely okay to put your foot down and demand that a spouse respects you and the relationship by not putting themselves in risky situations. Not doing so is just practically waiting to be cheated on. Having boundaries that take place before actual cheating happens isn't being insecure, it's having self respect.
I'd put my foot down and suggest marriage counseling, while being firm that divorce is 100% on the table.
You feel bad for being pragmatic because she's making you feel bad for being pragmatic to take the conversation away from the fact that she lied to you. This is quite a red flag…
Yeah, it's very hot. I've gone back to university to get a second degree. Half of my classmates are years younger. I don't have much money or free time. I'm really struggling to meet new people. Online dating freaks me out.
I'm not saying this to be critical of others, but it really blows my mind how some people can end year-long relationships and be dating someone else 3 months later. Howwww do you guys do it?
I really really wished I could just move on, too.
Discuss everything and anything
Sure.
Discuss how two adults have a right to privacy too, while you're at it. And how they have a right to pursue feelings freely. To online without old bigots criticising and persecuting them.
Everyone around them who knew supported them.
Looks like they knew exactly what they were doing MOVING AWAY TOGETHER with that support and avoiding all the ones like you lot here!
Is it the program you don’t like, the university itself, or is college just not for you? Since you wanna drop out what are you gonna do now? I’m guessing your parents said either go to college or move out. You knew going to college was important to them and they wouldn’t consider supporting you if you don’t go. No one forced you to apply, you could have gone to a trade school, or got a job instead but you chose college cuz it would come with being supported. You can either stay at your school, switch programs, transfer schools or drop out. If you don’t know what you wanna do in life I say stay and try and find a a good program. Work with your school counselors to find something that fits you. Otherwise you’re outta luck.
I don't have the money. I'm still in school. I just I don't have anyone.
What you want isn't to get back with her, what you want is to get back with the person that she was before. Which is understandable! You want the person that you fell in love with, that you married.
I don't think that person is her anymore.
Your feelings are valid. Asking her to no longer work in an environment that caused major damage to your marriage and hurt you emotionally is ABSOLUTELY valid. She is not interested in that, and therefore is not interested in fixing the damage caused or being respectful to your feelings.
You deserve a partner that respects your marriage and respects your feelings. I'm sorry to say, that doesn't sound like your wife anymore.
I took that to mean OP thought they hated each other, not that they were in love. 🤷🏼♀️ I can see how she'd feel blindsided if she thought the opposite of what was going on.
Don't be stupid hon
Hire a PI. Trust but verify. If the PI finds stuff then seek counsel. If nothing, then counseling.
If you have communicated serious issues to him and he is unwilling to change, or worse makes jokes about these things – he is not a good boyfriend!
No one should ever feel unvalued in a relationship. If he cannot do what you need him to do for you to feel valued than he is not the one for you.
Question: Does he masturbate/watch porn?
I know that it sucks but the best thing you can do is move on. It will never be the same again if you remain friends… I know from experience.
Tell him that. Meet up for a beer and tell him he’s being a little bitch and to be friends again. That would do it for most proper friends I think.
Because he thinks she can't get away now, so it doesn't matter if she knows.
Very abusive, this is not okay. I was dating someone like this for 5 years. I lost who I was. I’m now married, very happy with someone who would never use mean words to tease me ever.
The truth of the matter is you are going to have to talk with any woman you date.
I get what you are saying here, but you gotta figure out how you can make everyone happy here.
Say what you said about winding down, but offer when you can handle this.
If you don’t address these things head on, you end up in kinda sucks land. In kinda sucks land you just trudge along as your relationship dies because you don’t have the skills to do that yet. It’s up to you whether you accept that or not.
If you challenge the dynamics and it breaks the relationship, congratulations you saved yourself some time wondering here.
an elbow to the guts is the only way a guy learns to keep his hands to himself, I had a mates cousin who when we went out drinking he would always try to hug me and I told him you put your hands on me I elbow you in the kidneys, he thought i was bluffing but he never did it again.
Even better, if I cosign a student loan with my kid, and my kid dies, I inherit all the debt, even if my kid was doing great and could have had a job lined up. Student loans are a horrible thing for a society to do. I want good engineers, doctors, and teachers, I want good financial people, good lawyers. I want good scientists, good researchers, good sanitary workers. I want a society that works with well educated people. We should have that. We shouldn't be saddled under mountains of debt in order to discharge our duty to society.
i know aah
I think it has already been suggested here, but you should also talk about sex outside of the bedroom. “Hey, the other night when we were having sex, you told me you wanted me to talk to you, what kind of things could I say to turn you on?” For some, compliments are important. Others might like the idea of you telling them exactly what you want them to do, like “I want you to flip me over and take me.” I think healthy sexual relationships grow with communication and exploration; validating what is working and what is not (same with stuff outside of sex).
Yes…and the fact that you hold these fears tells me that you need
to improve your communication and assertiveness behaviors.
Some things you do because you both like it, some things you do because your partner likes it and you're okay with it, some things you do because you like it and your partners okay with it, some things you don't do at all. Partners that don't respect the last don't consider this an equal partnership and don't deserve the first 3 with you
Hmm I'm not trying to defend him, but if his friends were constantly telling him things it's very hot for his mind not go there, he might have defended you at the start but if they kept doubling down, he might have started getting emotional and started thinking irrationally. He handled it very poorly and he should have just have heard you out and trusted you.
“You’re the man”
Hell no
That doesn’t meant it’s okay for her to give him an ultimatum. Relationships don’t work like that.
I’m so sorry, I can’t imagine how painful this must be. You deserve better. You deserve people who will support you and your big personal milestones (e.g., engagement and wedding) regardless of who your partner is. Sending hugs.
Are you sure there’s a she? C’mon pops, alzheimer hitting again.
Ppl here are immature regards, it’s fine you both are legal
Plus, I love my husband and don’t want to hurt him or our daughter and tear our family apart.
I like how this is an afterthought to you considering cheating with a relative of his.
17 years and you want to bang his cousin.
Have you thought about talking with your husband about how you are feeling detached. Don't tell him about you wanting your housemate, but the issue is that being around someone new all the time has allowed you to develop these feelings.
He is new and different and you don't know all there is to know about him. That is why you feel this way. He is younger, my guess in better shape than a 38 year old. You basically are showing the same feelings as an office crush or workwife behavior. Someone you interact with on a more frequent basis than your husband or comparable time.
Honestly this is really pathetic in a way. Your main concern is more that it would imploud your life then how bad this would destroy your husband. But that love is an afterthought. You love him, but aren't IN LOVE with him. Not like the fresh new model.
How do you know what he watched with his ex?
Sounds like he will leave you for being too controlling
Girl run.
I know they’re emit judging her choice to keep the baby but they’re judging the reason why.
I just can’t understand it, most people who attend church of other worship grounds have MOST likely had sex out of wed lock. So just because you’ve had sex out of wed lock does that mean you can’t go to church? And can’t be a good person ? Does that mean you can’t pray, and do good deeds?
What you’re saying if you coming one sin but you’re doing everything else right, it means you’re being a hypocrite. I don’t think that’s how it should be. Someone can follow 99% of the rules of their religion, mess up one time, and they’ll be called a hypocrite for a mess up?
Now I will agree with you if she’s saying something Unfathomable like she …… took someone’s life but she’s debating on turning herself in bc of religious believes. Then you can say she’s being a hypocrite and I will agree with you.
But calling her a hypocrite because she messed up once, has a life in her now that she wants to keep and protect because of her beliefs? I don’t think that’s her being a hypocrite. I think that’s her being mature and owning up to her actions
Nah I’m right, you’re wrong. You don’t know what mansplaining is if you think it’s that. She said she was religious. It’s an important detail and relevant to the post
I do not, for a second, regret my abortion. Be careful who you have kids with because once that baby is here, he and his family will be in your life for a very, very long time.
I don’t want to lecture you because you’re gonna do what you want but being 100%-no-bullshit, don’t go through with this. You’ve got some confusing and exciting times ahead of you, don’t blurr your twenties with a kid and some tactless rando.
You got this.
There are many things I regret in life, having an abortion is not one of them. I, too, was 19. Almost 35 now. It’s been 16 years and I can still say it was probably one of the most reasonable decisions I have ever made
Set up everything through lawyers and the courts. Have documentation ready. If you fear for your safety or issues happening during kid exchanges have an officer meet you there. Keep records, recordings, photos of them not fulfilling their duties.
She literally said he's working less hours than her.
Like he’s upset because I haven’t called him all the time and he wants Goodmorning text etc and since I’m not doing that plus I didn’t see him when I said I was he’s mad and said he wanted to kick my ass beat me up etc and he’s like oh you’re playing with the wrong person then complains about the same shit over and over again
I have 3 kids, and I will tell you that even healthy relationships are VERY HOT after having a baby. Get out now. He is abusive and will be worse after you have a baby. It will also be harder to leave after you have a baby. Go to your family now and know you are absolutely doing what is best for yourself AND your child.
Sorry but once the trust has gone and they have done it once ,then they will do it again , I would knave her when the baby is born a paternity test needs to be done to put your mind at ease ,
On the one hand I agree with what you’re suggesting, but on the other hand I can’t imagine anything that would neutralise sexual attraction faster than saying ‘I NEED sex or I’m gonna GTFO of this relationship’.
Maybe there is a middle ground here, OP? I agree you really need to impress upon her how important this is to you, but I do think it needs to be done gently. Perhaps something along the lines of ‘I really want to work on this together, because I can’t be truly happy in a sexless relationship and I think you deserve better than that to.’
Also, while this may not be the case for you, for a lot of women sexual attraction is completely destroyed when they feel like they’re pulling the bulk of the weight in the home or with the emotional/administrative load. Is ‘stress’ code for, ‘I’d really like more help around the house?’
I dated a guy like this very briefly. I left him. His opinions weren’t going to change, and mine (being that his opinions were fucking gross) sure as HELL weren’t going to change. So you have two choices, either leave (idc how “good” he is in other areas, he’s a misogynist) or suck it up.
Op’s comments aren’t any better.
Apparently op’s solution to make the relationship work is to make new friends that don’t know that op’s shit bf sexually assaulted one of op’s friend.
The trust was broken. You should have broken up 4 years ago.
See, you wanted her to be like “oh honey we'll work through this together”. You didn't just find out your rent has doubled, you told her she might be a step mother.
She's upset and in shock right now because of something you done in your past. I know you're just learning about it now but it's through your own actions, not hers.
I don't know anyone who would think it's unhealthy and toxic to take some space and clear your mind. Actually, it's the exact opposite.
Yeah I guess people forget there’s a line.
Because he had our kids being watched by someone I didn’t know when I had absolutely no idea about it.
well I am willing to be friends with her. so i dont feel like i just tossed her. I offered to be friends, and if she wanted to be friends, we'd be friends
I feel as tho there’s a lot of people who were spanked a few times and grew up just fine. Obviously this Isn’t a reality for everyone but let’s stop acting like this is life altering and going to ruin someone.
Ingles?
And then he ignored you until he wanted a fuck.
He thinks you’re attractive.
Honey, he’s 1) an attorney and 2) in family law, at that. He’s a sly, manipulative son of a bitch who’s worked your beautifully smitten teenage naïveté from day one. You KNOW what you need to do, so DO IT. You’re a woman, a mama, strong and proud and you need to show your children you don’t allow being spoken to or treated that way, by anyone, woman or man, ESPECIALLY their FATHER.
Shes clearly had sex with her clients
RIP
UpdateMe!
Also remember that you may not do anything “wrong” and a person may still choose to leave. People are complicated.
Love is a gamble. It can be devastating when it fails, and damn near magical when it works. Often, even when you “lose”, there's something you get from each relationship, so each one can be worthwhile in their own way. However, they can also be painful, and exhausting, and sometimes a bit scarring. Some people are legitimately happier single than in a relationship. I'd only recommend that route for people who can online fulfilling single lives without resentment, instead of resigning to it because they believe they could never find someone. Conversely, I'd only recommend staying in a relationship, or getting married for that matter, to people who are able to do so without resentment of their partner or lost freedoms, rather than resigning to it because of social convention. For people who are uncertain where they lie, they may just have to experience more first-hand to know.
This just proves that you like drama.
Not at all. You’re right. It’s a line I would never cross & he has that comfort that I wouldn’t do it, but I don’t. And that’s not respect.
I don’t think it’s a lot to ask of him to be mindful of his tone while you do the healing work. It’ll take both parts to not keep scratching the scab, so to speak
Having a vasectomy at this age is a big decision. You should not be pressured into it, you’ve already expressed that you’re not 100% sure if you’ll change your mind about children in the future. Your body, your choice works both ways.
There are alternative contraception methods which I would suggest your girlfriend explores (it sucks that responsibility is still mostly on the woman). If you can’t reach a compromise you’re not the right people for each other.
You did nothing wrong. She's incredibly manipulative, and doesn't seem to have any control over her own emotions.
at 19-23, I was partying every weekend out having a ball and living my life to the fullest. By the time I was 25, I was going out once every couple months. Now At 29, in my relationship since 24, and looking at having a child in the next couple years, I havent gone out to the bars since Halloween. And before that? Halloween. And before that? Halloween lmao. When your 22, she will be 28. She will be ready to settle down and start a family and you may still be in your party years.
Why do some men not understand this? Most women won't blow up that very hot and cut contact/move rooms/whatever over something small. Don't get me wrong, some women do, but most women take small shit on the chin, until the small things start to pile up into a big thing. Then, it's no longer about the small things, it's about the overall general big issue.
Bowie AND Reed
Therapy for yourself, and if you’d like to at some point, include him in it. I’m going to go out on a limb and assume your previous partner might’ve shamed you for the high libido but there’s nothing to be shamed about or to feel insecure. It’s who you are. I believe you might be overthinking the situation and I’m sure he doesn’t mind having fun with you in that way. Something like talking it out with a professional can help in leaps and bounds.
I’d be fine with my wife selling nudes.
i didn’t know he enjoyed these things.
I’m just sad because i moved away from my friends and family to live! with him, so I’m stuck here with no one.
In other words you made your own decision to cut off your social and family life when you didn't have to. Sure bf is not good at all and the relationship is dying, but you still choosing to be there. Your bad choices came back to bite you and you can make things right by leaving but you aren't. One of dumbest things to do is to throw away your healthy lifestyle for an unhealthy relationship. Not only are you losing people who are better than your bf, but you also becoming toxic mentally.
If the guy is bisexual: wahoo threesomes with dudes
If the girl is bisexual: wahoo threesome with girls
If the guy is not bisexual: it's just not cool to require them to sleep with a dude, however, you certainly don't have to agree to a threesome with a girl because of that, I'm just saying, don't make a threesome with a dude a requirement for men to get threesomes with a girl, each should be evaluated on their own merits and each scenario can be refused for any reason.
It is important information for those giving advice.
I was/am similar to your boyfriend in my distain for weed/drugs. For some reason, it doesn't really bother me if friends smoke, but it bothers me for a serious partner. After a lot of reflection, I realized that it had more to do with my history and my trust in a partner more than anything else. I think now I wouldn't mind dating someone who smoked if they didn't really do it around me (and this could mean stepping into another room or when I'm not around) and if I really really trusted this person. A lot of people I knew that smoked weed had addiction problems, and it was very hot to separate the two and realize that there are people who can smoke weed in a healthy way.
It fascinates me when people change their user names and then post the same weak post. I don't understand the motivation at all.
OP, why?
She did say I would like to do it occasionally. I think she's just looking for ways to break the barrier e.g. “I did in Amsterdam and nothing bad happened, come on, relax”
Ok, you shouldn't online life with mediocrity. Have a higher standard of living for yourself.
Agree to give them 25% of your earnings for your nephew as soon as they provide 50% of their current income to help support you. Problem solved.
Base on the texts and him after I interrogated him, it’s only texts and today of all days, it became heated by the emojis. They work in different departments different times so different lunches. I also hope his strong enough
Im sorry, even I dont believe your explanation.
If Greg's his best mate that is complicated and perhaps a relationship destined for resentment
We have been together for 5 years, I’m 32 and he is 27. We broke up for about 6 months but spent this whole summer together. It was honestly very healing and he was doing so much to learn and be there for me (he also was in therapy while in the city). He really wanted to go ski and told me this is his last year, he confessed he loves me still and so we started a relationship again. He told me if I want him to come home that he will but I said I want to be strong and allow him to venture and do his own thing. He also has schizophrenia very mild (doesn’t really see things unless he is super stressed) and depression.
For me its when I am excited to talk to them again.
It isn't “bad”, so consider that a positive, all things taken into account. Just let her come to things in her own time, and maybe that'll be where she lets you have that second date. Just don't push, or bombard her with notes/texts about it. She has a lot to work out with herself over it, and that takes time. Just know that, if this is what you truly want, it's always going to be a challenge with her, even if she lets you in. Make sure that you know what you're in for. Coming from someone who's loved “damaged” people in life, it takes a lot of work… If you're not willing to commit to that, then you can do more damage than good. My wife was a significantly damaged person, having been raped, and physically/psychologically abused by father and first husband, had an 8yo son die a couple of months after we were married. It's been 27 years together, and there's still times when it's quite a bit of effort working past that. But we've had a great life together, she's my best friend…I knew what I was getting into from the start, I'm patient with those I love, but still it's work and it can be tough at times.
Exactly, you say that you’re “disgusted” by the number of partners she’s had before you even bring up the lying. If I were her, I’d leave you over this. I don’t want a partner who’s disgusted by me, or even by past choices I regret.
Please get yourself out of there. You're not safe. Tell someone at school, like a teacher or counselor. You never know when he might try something. Talk to the police if you need to.
100% All in or all out, that’s how he should roll.
Exactly. People always act like the affair partner is innocent because “they owe the partner nothing,” but if they knew the person was in a relationship? They're also a problem and they are an ah
How old are you? Who travels to who when you have met in-person?
Your gut feeling is likely accurate.
I go to therapy, and I have quiet BPD so it is mostly all internal. BPD is very misunderstood esp the internal kind. None of my relationships have caused “pain” or “destruction”. Maybe some people with BPD have those relationships but BPD is not one size fits all. People with BPD can have relationships as long as they are self aware, communicate openly, and commit to getting better. That being said, at the end I mention that I want to take a break from all relationships if I happen to leave my current one so I can build my self esteem and figure my feelings out to have more healthy relationships since I have a problem with codependency and saying no to partners.
My bet is nothing will change and he’s just saying what you want to hear. Maybe he’ll prove me wrong. And yes, he is immature because that’s not how you behave in the first place if you were mature.
in my defense we did go on a few dates prior but I should've worded that better
I'm so happy that this turned out to be a nice question. Unfortunately if she's determined to buy it she might mistakenly think you're being mean or trying to be sensible. I think it's time for a heavy hint “maybe you should wait til Christmas day..” tjar might be too heavy a hint but even if she realises thats her gift from you it will be a lovely present she'll be happy to open on Christmas day. I hope you guys have a lovely day
Obtuse much!
Agreed. She won’t come because it’s in her head now.
She has decided that OP can’t make her come. Therefore he never will.
Don’t respond
If there was nothing to hide-there would be no lies.people lie or leave sh¡t out do so because they know they've done wrong Or something about the situation they are explaining was wrong so they conveniently leave it out ..otherwise they wouldn't leave things out obviously you know….idk about your gf though sorry if it was in a bad way tho that sucks if so
So he's stopped your from working, so now you have no job and are not allowed to get one ..
…he's started belittling you and demanding things from you like a slave….
He's also started hitting and breaking things
…next time, he will hit you. This is how abusive relationships start, always in this pattern.
I absolutely cod not finish reading this. Ask yourself why you would this level of drama in your life? It sounds like you have broken up multiple times over the same exact issue, let him go.
To me it’s like porn and I don’t care, mainly because I think the kind of guys I date aren’t going to be super into it as a result of their personality/taste
I think it may help to go back to the basics. As you confirmed she is stressed about it, so the very first thing to do is to put her in a relaxed mood. Foreplay, foreplay and foreplay again. Massage, long kissing sessions, nipple stimulation, inner thigh touching, etc. Touch her clit slowly and for a bit only, like a slow stroke, then go back to kissing. Grab her inner thigh and then slowly make your way up to her labia. Slip a finger in, suck on a boob, get creative.
Your main goal right now, is to put her in the mood and to relax her. Sex should be fun and creative. Like making an abstract painting with your bodies. Go outside the lines and be confident.
Every single woman is different and many many times orgasm through penetration is very hot to achieve. Try to keep the conversation open and in a light mood.
Hope you guys can make it work.
But that’s “if”. I will agree treatment is far more advanced than it used to be. That’s still not an acceptable answer though to steal someone else choice from them
You cant ask him after he nuts you sumply have to say he isnt allowed to cum untill you do.girl on top is best that way your invontrol
It is a 3rd-degree Felony in the state of FL to withhold this information from a potential partner.
Your friend is a horrible and selfish person. Regardless if you distance yourself from her at this point, the fact that you know she has not disclosed this information to her partner and are willing to ignore it makes you no better than she, quite frankly.
Hold her accountable and tell her she had X amount of time to come clean or you’re going to tell him yourself.
I could have sympathized with her situation but not when she’s playing with someone’s life.
This poor kid deserves to know. I hope and pray you are never in his position with others knowing something so life-altering and not telling you.
I hope he presses charges on anyone and everyone possible by law. People effing suck.
Totally agree
Age gap, next
Yeah, this seems more like a test than an act of kindness.
100+ people sound absolutely disgusting. I’m not trying to bring people down but holy cow..
Can’t help someone who can’t help themselves.
Your comments on my (ex) boyfriend has been accurate. I've edited the post for a little update.
Why are you doing more things on your own with a guy that is supposed to be part of your friend group now. While you’re in a relationship. Why is it changed? I would notice that and frankly I’d be concerned too. Often times of opposite genders take the emotional intimacy out of a relationship. Which is why when people get older and get married, they don’t have a lot of opposite gender, friends. I don’t feel like we have enough information but if this is a changing pattern, I would be concerned to.
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Why are with an old man ? Raise your standards pls!
Don’t waste time on people like that
That’s why I don’t like this question “what are you looking for”. Because a lot of times people don’t even know what they are looking for and if they do – they aren’t sure they are looking for it with you.
In some cases reply “not looking to be exclusive” means they just don’t want it with you.
So if you are interested in her just ask her out, go on dates, and if you don’t see appropriate feedback – her return interest – means she’s just not into you, so move on.
So that’s exactly why I was thinking of cancelling on with him and going with my friend. Plus, as I say, we are always with his friends. I know we have been both through shit and wants to feel secure but it is not kind of fair.
I mean… it’s not about him it’s just me having a hot time letting myself go
i do agree she should’ve told him sooner to be sure, but i do not think she was deliberately manipulating OP as the previous comment said
What does their sex and biology have to do with their gender?
He’ll have her all Christmas Eve and I planned on being with him at his parents’ on that day. His parents and I get along great, it’s just mine that are the issue.
I have ADHD and very often don’t feel stress and I struggle with social skills. My life could be on fire and I wouldn’t be happy or anything, but I wouldn’t feel any different stress wise. So it’s very hot to take things like that into consideration for me bc everything in my brain is so compartmentalized.
Thanks for the perspective, it’s giving me a lot to think about.
You weren’t exclusive. Not committing to long term means you’re not promising her anything for the future. You’re merely dating.
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Give yourself the time you need to process what has happened. You have told us her reasoning for continuing to drink and then to cheat, both of which seem to be completely out-of-character (but it could be the tip of the iceberg). Having had fertility issues myself and a miscarriage at 10-12 weeks, I grieved so much, and I had so much anger. Late at night, I would beg my them husband to bury the baby. I threw out any baby-related items, and when I learned of others’ pregnancies, I was happy for them, but I was also severely upset that everyone except me seemed to be able to reproduce. Both of you suffered a huge loss with regard to the pregnancy that had to be terminated. It is not an excuse for her actions, but if you decide to stay, you need to address this issue.
I’m glad it helped – though I wish I wasn’t on the money because you deserve much better from a life partner than an arrangement like this. Good luck hun 💙
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Second this. I had some VERY bad experiences drinking alcohol when my mental health was all over the place and I was younger, interspersed with some ‘normal’ experiences. I did some really questionable things and almost ruined my life several times.
Now I have had therapy and am in a good place, I can drink and behave normally.
Nah, this isn’t on you. He’s enmeshed and unwilling to stand up for you. That’s not cool.
Have to say that even just admitting she would like an open relationship i would be gone . This is a huge red flag.
Why to put so much efforts in texting, cooking and other dates if he just wanted sex?
People have gone to far greater lengths for “just sex.”
He now feels entitled to sex because he has so to speak “put in the time and effort” i.e. the cooking, texting, dates, etc.
Asking once was fine, pushing your head and asking repeatedly? Not normal. Get out before he puts more effort into getting sex from you and begins to feel more and more entitled to sex.
Block her. Sounds like a nut
There is a lot to unpack here. Scenario 1: Your ex contacted one or more family members with a pack of lies about why you broke up. And NONE of them believed your side of the story. Scenario 2: Your ex contacted one or more family members with a mostly truthful account of why you broke up, and they asked “how COULD you!” Etc. Etc. If scenario 1 is true, then the question of WHY they immediately took the exes side, becomes the central question in this whole drama. If scenario 2 is true…well then, maybe they have the right of it. It also sounds like your father doesn't trust you with the money he is sending, for whatever reason. And now he's not talking to you. Sounds like a whole lot of people are pissed at you. Seems like you would have at least one ally in your family if everything you have done is above board. SO…I am sensing that there is another side to this story. But if not, if your family is TRULY that horrible, then just go NC with them and get on with your life. Take time to heal and find a better support system. It sounds like your Dad will hold up his end of the agreement whether he is on your side or not, that's my read on the tuition situation. I can't speak to the rest of the family dynamic…not enough info here and I would need to hear their side anyway.
Best of luck!
There is a lot to unpack here. Scenario 1: Your ex contacted one or more family members with a pack of lies about why you broke up. And NONE of them believed your side of the story. Scenario 2: Your ex contacted one or more family members with a mostly truthful account of why you broke up, and they asked “how COULD you!” Etc. Etc. If scenario 1 is true, then the question of WHY they immediately took the exes side, becomes the central question in this whole drama. If scenario 2 is true…well then, maybe they have the right of it. It also sounds like your father doesn't trust you with the money he is sending, for whatever reason. And now he's not talking to you. Sounds like a whole lot of people are pissed at you. Seems like you would have at least one ally in your family if everything you have done is above board. SO…I am sensing that there is another side to this story. But if not, if your family is TRULY that horrible, then just go NC with them and get on with your life. Take time to heal and find a better support system. It sounds like your Dad will hold up his end of the agreement whether he is on your side or not, that's my read on the tuition situation. I can't speak to the rest of the family dynamic…not enough info here and I would need to hear their side anyway.
Best of luck!
i’m an idiot my bad
Yes, you were right to be upset. She hurt you're feelings. She was in the wrong. You told her how you felt, and she apologized to you. Do you feel her apology was sincere? If so, great! If not , then you need to have another conversation. Although, im not justifying her actions. But I can't help but get the feeling she was showing off! In front of you and her coworkers. Now what she was trying to show off or what message she was trying to send, i have no idea. Sounds a lot like she was being bratty or trying to be cute! Lol i know women who still do that! Its all about the attention, for whatever reason. If it's still bothering you, then you should have another conversation. 🤔
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I mean, just cause you have AAA..are you really gonna wanna wait an hour for them to show up.. when you have the thoughtful gift your wife bought you in the car? I wouldn’t. I’d use the gift I was given, cause it’s one of those things that’s good to have just in case. I think it’s really the thought that counts.
Idk man, maybe act like you are appreciative or something she at least got you something idk.
I’ve been there. Your age is a contributing factor to this but it’s not an excuse to have you feeling so taken for granted like this. To give him any benefit of the doubt, he’s probably not accustomed to being in a relationship. He may have low self esteem and constantly want validation. Lastly, he may not realize you feel this way. A relationship is a two way street. Typically someone like this would learn better when the good one leaves them so they’re left thinking why and what could I have done to make it better. It’s going to be very hot to have patience with somebody like this. They’re going to make you feel bummed out a lot over time. Do they realize that if he doesn’t invest in you, you might be left feeling better off with someone else? And great that he makes more money that you….for now. It would be more fun if he were spoiling you. If you’re willing to take him out, would he appreciate that?
But if you really want things to work out with him, try “I” statements like “I feel like you don’t appreciate my culture” or “I thought you were being insensitive when I made you things and you commented how bad they are” or “it’s nice when you take me out but can we go somewhere I would enjoy too?” If he’s not responsive to then then I’m so so sorry. You may need to realize he’s interested in anyone who lets him be self centered.
If someone said that to me as an excuse not to meet my boyfriend, that friend would be gone. She should be defending you and not letting people disrespect you. She thinks you possibly hurting this guy is a good excuse? Is that her opinion of you?
I don't think you were attempting to be rude, but the first sentence could be seen as condescending lol. It doesn't bother me one bit, but I feel like it was worth pointing out just so you know in case you didn't realize. But it is really difficult to convey a message the way you indented online like this since there's no tone of voice or body language to help out with such things. But I do agree with your point, and religious groups that radical are literally just legal cults
I’m not sure if she wants him as much as she wants the attention. Grass is greener and all. I’ve had this conversation with my wife and both ways if either party wasn’t comfortable with a friend they would be cut off if possible and if not minimized. I don’t even care if I’m the bad guy name drop me all you want.
Too soon, suspicious hamster. Maybe in a few months I will find it funnier.
If you say so. Getting attracted to someone while being in a relationship is normal, I have found people attractive, but that's just cheap biology to me. You will need to be able to set up better boundaries incase something similar happens and cut off people quicker if you start to feel similar things.
On my mom's side, everyone had/has brown eyes she has blue eyes. My daddy has brown eyes and both me and my sister have blue eyes. Eye color is individual… leave your husband and take your kids and yourself to a safe place
So you have cheated in the past, maybe he thinks you're falling into past habits
are you a kid?
He's human
It's normal in my relationship. When one of us isn't in the mood, the other is more than welcome to masturbate. Or, if they want something quick and easy, they're allowed to. Masturbation is indeed emotionally separate for a lot of people, and has nothing to do with how sexually satisfied you might be with your partner.
Oh god, well now I have a new thing to worry about. But also offer to do other forms of sexual things, whispering in his ear while he jerks off or only do hand stuff and wash your hands right away. And if he doesn't like that, he thinks he's entitled to sex regardless of your discomfort and dump him.
If breaking up is equivalent to jumping into a cold swimming pool, taking a break is like when you enter the pool slowly.
You typically end up in the same place, but it feels less scary. When you took a break, you were really just breaking up, but prolonging the process.
If she wasn’t, then I’d say don’t.
Might want to turn em into bullet points
Then avoid going home or just online with it. Your sister and family are not changing. You get good advice (call cops) but turn it down. What else do you want?
You and your husband need to address this with your mil before your daughter/other kids hear or pick up on it.
That could be anything racy, nudes, lingerie, anything
They care about the PARTY, they don't give a shit about you, the HOST. They basically used you.
If you want to try to fix it, you can confront them and tell them you know they invited 50 people you know, so it wasn't a small wedding.
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Yeah its weird, its like you see one thread that got kinda popular and then you see multiple of the same theme popping up in short succession. I'm pretty sure a lot of the threads here are from a few assholes who have nothing better to do with their time.
What would you rather OP…..Knowing in 10 years from now that you potentially saved multiple people from being harassed because you stopped this predator in his tracks or staying silent and knowing that he becomes more arrogant thinking he can get away with more?
Who gives a flying frog about his “career” This guy deserves to lose everything
Ride it out I say, living with an ex is the most miserable thing life has to offer. Stability is what you need right now starting out with university.
Try and be friendly and share some joy together, but detach yourself more and more every month. If she refuses to change after numerous talks then it’s not worth your time, just be selfish here.
I really hope she leaves you. Don't trickle truth her either. Tell her the full extent of your relationship with your mistress so she can make an informed decision.
Thank you, I’m really glad I reached out on here, its been helpful to have others opinions and insight. I’m going to talk to him about it and hopefully he will want to work out a solution/get help.
I mean, your boyfriend probably knows his brother better than you do and Might have a habit of “randomly” gifting his brother’s partners with things that they like but would otherwise appear to be nothing more than a friendly gesture. Chances are the brother is either at least attempting to get closer to you in the hopes of forming some sort of relationship with you that he hopes will turn into something more, or past actions you may not know about have made your bf paranoid to the point he acts irrationally.
I’m not excusing your bf’s behaviour, and it could very well be nothing but a big case of insecurity issues, but people don’t normally react this strongly or negatively to a well meaning family member giving their partner random and expensive gifts.
How far apart do you both online? Sometimes, it's best for a holiday romance to remain just that.
Wait. You're telling me that you messaged this person from a random fake account you have and they just openly spilled all this private information to you? No one does that.
You mean ex boyfriend surely? I’ve worked in STEM as a woman my whole life and it’s honestly awful. I have so many stories of mistreatment by people that seemed nice, like your boyfriend, but honestly make our work place a living hell. I’m in my 40s and burnt out as all hells. Literally been through everything from well meaning misogynists (like the idiot who spent 20 minutes of my life off my shift whilst I was trying to get away to my birthday party explaining to me how I could use copying & pasting on notepad to speed things up on a process I’d coded out to be automatic weeks ago) to actual harm where someone held me down by tied up hair (because gotta be worn up in a lab) to try and rape me. Also this is meant to be the honeymoon period where they seem perfect. If he’s this bad now, how long before he’s leaving you his housework? He’s showing you a total lack of respect. I don’t like the usual Reddit advice of “run”, but in this case? Far & fast.
No, wayyyy too many facts have been stated that match up with the reality I found…so not thinking catfish tbh. Like there’s just no way 😂 but idk if I should say anything lol now that I found him
Tell her she is acting like a child, and that you are going to have to break us because you aren't a pedo.
I thought by the subject line he wanted to keep a stitch as a memory of birth. I was like “kind of weird but okay”. Im such an idiot.
Where?
I mean, most people grow at least a little bit as an adult. Your girlfriend probably will outgrow you if you're stuck in teenage arrested development. If you're just looking to have fun that's fine, but you are probably not going to find a life partner unless you have the capacity for maturation and growth.
My partner is 8 years older. He never belittles or coerces me. If anything he looks up to me and always asks me how I want to be theated (he says he is man an men dont understand hints so he better asks :p). Not every age gap is a problem.
What you did wrong is get back together with an ex. Unless you identify the problem that broke you up, agree it’s a problem together, and come up with a plan together to fix it, and then actually fix it, getting back together isn’t a good idea.
Her diagnosis is irrelevant if she refuses to get help. Don’t ask me how i know.
Her mother made it clear her wishes, your husband made it clear where he stands on the issue. You need to accept that and let it go. Cause if he divorces you because you went and met with them after he told you to block them you will have no rights to the little girl anyway.
When there's smoke there's fire.
I mean, I cried when my bf was accusing me of cheating. It was hurtful and extremely stressful that he was presenting me with “proof” that made it look like the accusations were true and I couldn’t explain it. I didn’t leave the house but I did go to our spare room and spent the rest of the night there because I didn’t want to be around him because he was super angry and I was hurt. I find it kind of strange that people think her crying is automatically a sign of guilt? Like wouldn’t you be really upset if your partner was accusing you of cheating? Especially if it was a misunderstanding and they didn’t believe you?
I think Dave was testing the waters… I think Dave maybe wanted Maria and asked the question with the hopes that she would respond with something like “ do you want me to go and help you with that?” but when she said no, that’s one David knew he f$&ked up.
Trust me I'm never going to move in with a man who can't use basic hygiene but thanks for your concern
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When’s the last time you saw someone change who they fundamentally are?
She is braking up with you – accept it.
You should have no say in how a father spends time with his toddler. If he wants to stay the name and wake up to open gifts, that is the mom's decision. He can sleep in the kid's room.
You need to stop interfering with how the father makes any contact pertaining to the child.
Being that you've only been around for a short 3 months also lessens the importance of your input.
can you specify why?
You're blind if you can't see what's happening here. Why hasn't he been paying child support? Since he's thinking of his kid and only his kid… Dudes a deadbeat. Didn't give a fuck until someone new started dating the mom.
Move on from girls like this, the baby daddy will always have a finger around her
It sounds like he's trying to isolate you.
It's never mutual. My guess is she cheated in his dad or at least was the one to initiate the divorce and OP is siding with his dad for now.
Give him sone time (many more months) before bringing up his mom again.
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Foreplay then 69 each other then try again. If nothing helps maybe get a little drunk together, just enough so it eases your mind. If it works it will probably ease your mind for the next rounds.
We usually do discuss our concerns again after we have calmed down and gotten to a spot where we both understand where each other is coming from. We have talked about why we get into fights as well. We both have said and admitted that we can be defensive at times, and she has said she has a shorter fuse than she should have. So, we talked about it before. We are both overthinkers as well, which is probably a big reason why we get into arguments too.
The trauma endured with the childhoods you both endured doesn't just go away because you tell yourselves to get over it or it wasn't that bad. It will continue to impact your lives until you confront it. You are responsible for healing your trauma and he is responsible for healing his. By staying, you are only prolonging the inevitable, and it isn't helping either of you. You are not obligated to him just because he had a difficult childhood and has mental health issues, you aren't the cause of them, and can't be the cure for them. If moving 3,000 miles away or staying in an abusive relationship are your only two options, you move 3,000 miles away. Its a cake walk compared to what is coming down the pipe for you. He has already moved to physical violence as a means of gaining control of you. It is only a matter of when, not if, it will get worse. If you stay you are taking a huge gamble with your life. He needs help that you can't give him and he's not willing to get. Save yourself.
Yup I can see why you’re 35 dating a 20 year old. Gross.
Typical answer from Reddit from someone who doesn’t know me.
She’s too focussed on the wedding & not enough on the marriage.
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If you online together, it’s just common courtesy to tell your partner. This isn’t a huge thing though. Ask him if this is the deal between you now – when you leave you’re going “out” and you’ll return when you’re done. Then stick to it and come home late one or two nights.
He’ll come around.
I'm a habitual Christmas eve wrapper
It's not like you just want to know where he is and give him a curphew. He has your car. Your dad was an AH for even saying that. If he doesn't want to tell you when he's coming home then no car.
Yes sir
Here is what I reckon
You are away a lot and work on the road
Your wife feels lonely
She gets a new job with a new male coworker
That coworker gives her male attention
She likes that male attention because it’s lacking and she feels wanted… she’s drawn to it.
She may or may not know what she is doing but she is walking a verrrrry fine line. From what you’ve described it very much sounds like they have already bonded, how deep? I don’t know
By communicating. If you screw up they will tell you or ghost you, and that tells you.
My intern “accidentally” gave me one. It took years for the pain to ease during sex, so I was celibate for a long time
sorry to hear you're in the situation, but if the baby is yours, you'll have to consider the changes to your life and how to overcome it. but definitely do not sign any documents about the baby's birth until you get the DNA results, since you have doubts about the situation.
in the meantime though, you'll still have to consider the possibility that the baby is yours, meaning that if you wanted to be involved with the medical care and decisions during the pregnancy, then do that as well. and if you don't, then i guess there's no obligation to, but it will be 9 months that you miss out on, if the baby is yours.
stop playing the fool
True. But most of what I was trying to say was that it's not a once off statement.
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This doesn’t seem salvageable to me. It’s toxic, and she’s refusing therapy. Saw both my best friend and sister get divorces once their exes refused therapy as well.
Mental health struggles are not an excuse for the way she is behaving. I am depressed, I have severe mood swings, and I am an alcoholic, but I would never, in a million years, disrespect my fiancè by ignoring our relationship and seeking solace from another man.
She is emotionally cheating on you and is blatantly rubbing it in your face. How would she feel if you developed that kind of close relationship with another woman? How would she feel if, when she expressed concerns, you threw it back in her face and accused her of trying to interfere with your relationship with this other woman? Your wife is a hypocrite, and frankly, doesn't have a whole lot of respect for you or your marriage. Instead of trying to work things out, she's running to another man – that is a huge no-no in a marriage, and its a one-way ticket to infidelity.
Does this guy online in her home country? If so, she may very well be going to meet him. But even if not, she's not doing anything to try and fix things. She's choosing to run away instead. This marriage does not need space. It needs COMMUNICATION, EFFORT, and RESPECT. This also includes you having respect for yourself and not allowing her to play you for a fool.
She insists that the relationship between them is platonic.
And yet…..
They talk for hours into the night and are constantly playing together. Recently she has confessed to me that she is no longer sure if she is in love with me and also enjoys spending time with her new friend more than she does with me. She claims that he is a way better listener than I am and she did not know she was missing this in her life.
I've been replaced as her primary pillar of emotional support.
Dude… the sheer fact that she's refusing to even try and work together to solve your issues, and instead wants to run away/seek solace from someone else instead is bad enough. But she's emotionally cheating. She's developing an emotionally intimate relationship with another man, right in front of your face, and has no issue throwing it in your face and making you feel like crap. She even has the audacity to act like a victim because you are, in her words, “interfering with their relationship” … that is completely unacceptable.
She is not the type of person to lie about something like that.
Are you sure about that? Did you originally think she was the type of person to develop an intimate emotional bond with another man and blame her husband for it, instead of just talking to her husband about her issues? Well she is. She's also the type of person who will happy disrespect her marriage and not care one bit.
Why do you put up with this? Why do you not stand your ground and make your boundaries clear? What she's doing is NOT OK. You deserve so much better than this and you need to realize that.
She's asked for space and for me to give her time to get bored of the friend so she can refocus on me.
Is she for real?? That not how it works and she knows it. She is perfectly capable of actively deciding to cut contact with him and take steps to repair your marriage, as well as her own personal issues. She is actively deciding to pursue this other guy and grow a relationship that WILL eventually lead to physical cheating if it doesn't stop. She has complete control over her decisions, and she's actively deciding to pretend that she doesn't. That way, she doesn't have to take responsibility for her actions. But again, it doesn't work that way. She needs to grow up and start taking responsibility for her actions.
OP, your wife is treating you horribly and you need to stand your ground. If she wants this to work, she needs to cut contact with this other guy, take responsibility for herself, and take action (get therapy, figure out her issues, and then go to couples counselling with you). You need to put your foot down on her rude behaviour towards you and insist that she either takes steps to sort out her issues and work on the marriage, or its over. Do not let her gaslight you – in no universe are her actions (confiding in another man and saying that he's better than you) justified. If she refuses to make any changes here, you need to be strong and be ready to let her go, even though it will hurt. Heartbreak is only temporary, but a lifetime with someone who doesn't respect you is 1000x worse.
What an awful position for you to be in! Here's one thing. If you ignore everything else, his destructive rage when he smashed the chair in front of you should settle every question you might have about whether or not this relationship is worth trying to salvage. It's not. He was violent, and the next thing he smashes might be your face, or that of your child.
You said that you have a house together. Does that mean the two of you own the house together? I strongly recommend you talk to a lawyer before you make any decisions. You have rights you may not know about, and every dime you can save will help you.
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Why would you use condoms from someone who wants to baby trap you? Why would you trust she was on birth control?
Bigger question
Why was a 36 year old woman dating a 23 year old man? I mean yeesh. Wtf do you even have in common?
Don't sign the birth certificate until the DNA test results come back. Don't move in with her at all. Honestly you need to break up with her. There's just so many red flags here.
lol ditch him and move on
Moot – a subject to debate or dispute. Or is uncertain.
Not a point that you can no longer debate.
Don’t worry, you’re not the only one who uses it wrong. Everyone does. But using words incorrectly probably makes YOUR point MUTE. Isn’t irony wonderful.
According to multiple places on Google, Chlamydia can in fact lay dormant for years. Big typing and big wrong.
He wanted to pare things back & has lost interest to some extent. Why do you think your reasonable reaction to his actions/stated desires should make you feel guilty?
Jesus fuck he’s a terrible person
I used to be with someone like this, so trust me when I say he will not ever get better. He doesn't care about how you feel, he just cares about hurting people who've done nothing to him. Get our while you can because if you move with him he WILL make it difficult.
Updoot for the username.
So you were both in agreement with your views up until recently.
If you actually sit down and talk through what you actually feel and why, you will most likely find that most people are moderate. To be extreme right or extreme left is to be impractical to the point of dumbness, where nothing can make sense anymore.
Try couples therapy, it is likely that your views are still not really that far out from each other. Things are getting crazy and you've both fallen into it a bit. Maybe avoid the political stuff for a while.
So you were both in agreement with your views up until recently.
If you actually sit down and talk through what you actually feel and why, you will most likely find that most people are moderate. To be extreme right or extreme left is to be impractical to the point of dumbness, where nothing can make sense anymore.
Try couples therapy, it is likely that your views are still not really that far out from each other. Things are getting crazy and you've both fallen into it a bit. Maybe avoid the political stuff for a while.
So you were both in agreement with your views up until recently.
If you actually sit down and talk through what you actually feel and why, you will most likely find that most people are moderate. To be extreme right or extreme left is to be impractical to the point of dumbness, where nothing can make sense anymore.
Try couples therapy, it is likely that your views are still not really that far out from each other. Things are getting crazy and you've both fallen into it a bit. Maybe avoid the political stuff for a while.
I mean it call comes done to, all of them are assholes😂
IMO he was an ex when you said he “doesn’t want his children raised like this..”. That was reason enough to know this won’t work. I would not procreate with this man.
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Yup. Thankfully I can take their bs, I'd rather them give it to me than to someone who it would majority upset
It sounds like he has made being a political contrarian his identity and he is fully entrenched. Good luck, It doesn’t get better until there is intense self reflection and a willingness to literally change his personality which most people will not do.
“my boyfriend is always late”
This stupid fucking website that I want to leave: “well it's obvious he's perpetuating a conspiracy to hide an entire life from you”
She was approached by one fellow and slept in another guy's bed do to poor planning on her part.
Grammar and spelling aren’t your strong suit, are they bud?
You know what you should do, you also know what you will do. Reddit isn't going to change it
I think you are deluded as to what love is and you have already hurt him. I doubt you'll let him go because you are selfish so it's kind of a Christmas train wreck. Good job!
You're very young to never have sex again. I'd recommend asking for an open relationship. Maybe she's not interested in sex at all, maybe she's not interested in sex with you, bity there's no way your current situation is sustainable. You're just gonna get more horny and bitter
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Oh hun. He's gonna hold this over your head every time he's annoyed. Don't ask how I know this. LoL Get out now
It's called Gut Instincts.
Trust yours over his words.
Your wife left u, u don’t reward that behaviour by getting her a Xmas present . If this is how u behaved when were together then I can see why the marriage broke down, women respect a man who can stand up to them
Grooming is more associated with abuse than sex, if you want to get into semantics. See how you omitted the middle of the definition you provided. Also… grooming still isn’t a crime. It’s gross. People should be aware of it. Young women should be suspicious of large age gaps. But it’s not the same as a pedophile, an important distinction you conflated in your initial post.
Look dude… I don’t think it’s appropriate for a 35 year old man to be a in a relationship with a 20 year old girl. The point is, they can make that decision for themselves. They are both adults and authors of their own lives. This post is about said 20 year old making an advance and being rejected. Probably for the best if you ask me.
Thank you for your comment, I really appreciate it. I do feel like I’m burning out and I expressed this to him. He wants to find a compromise that works, but I haven’t really been able to think of one to be honest, because I need my home to be my safe space as well
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If he wants a whole house for himself he is welcome to move out and pay extra for the luxury of living alone. Not financially practical? Well though luck, but that's the only solution for someone who prefers to be alone to the extent they demand other paying renters leave the house.
Could be really helpful in life
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Time to make your escape plan and leave. Surely you have friends or family that will give you a couch to sleep on until you get back on your feet. Otherwise get a job, save some money, and leave.
If it has been on and off, this was not a healthy relationship. This hurts like hell now, but you will feel freedom later. You deserve better.
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OP has serious mental illness and has posted this dozens of times. Do not engage.
“Any man” thags such an old mindset of the Husband always providing for his wife
Dump this person. 4 months and he’s this much of a judgmental asshole?
Pass.
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i said almost 2. yes, it’s predatory but i was technically legal. i am not defending it, just exhausted.
Thank you for your reply, nice to know others have been in a similar situation I hope all is well with you and ur life now
Pls be a tell. Bc otherwise you’re husband needs major therapy you’re unstable for considering the butt plug. Which, btw, won’t keep the very hot air in, so your both clueless about sex toys, also. Pls, both of you get therapy. And maybe don’t have kids bc your delusional husband will not be able to handle that.
Maybe I am not that tall only around 185cm which is 6’0 or something. Maybe they feel threaten. I just feel uncomfortable in these situations because I always try to be polite and smile don’t think I gave any reasons to be dislike me. First I thought maybe they like me but it’s odd not used to not saying anything just staring now I am thinking maybe it’s opposite.
My husband used to do this… Occasionally, I'll hide under the bed before he goes to sleep and as soon as he gets his sleep sounds going I'll start ripping the loudest fake farts known to man. He can't get me because he's too big and I can just roll away when he swats at me.
And I used to practice this for HOURS when I was a preteen, so I really know how to rip some of the loudest, wettest, fake farts anyone has ever heard.
Anyways, I've been threatened with therapy because I'm psychologically abusive', so I had to stop. But he doesn't complain about real farts anymore, so maybe try that.
You should never buy the opposite sex something expensive before consulting them about it first, no matter what it is. If it’s expensive, it can be seen as disrespectful to their relationship. If you do not consult them, then you are overstepping. Even if you believe you are “repaying her”, it won’t be perceived that way unless you consult their partner first. I call what you did blind ignorance, as in, you didn’t consider how it could look at all. You got permission from your partner but not hers, it’s unfair of you to expect him to be cool about anything if you didn’t talk to him first.
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Youre right, it IS ridiculous. Since its christmas Im gonna give you advice anyway:
if this is a fetish troll, post on a fetish sub instead, don't involve us in talking about your fantasies nonconsensually, that's not cool.
if this is an ordinary troll, put your energies into writing an ebook instead and selling it on amazon so you have something tangible for your efforts.
She wont want me go myself because then shes not included. We will most likely just go for the day xmas day because thats the best i can come up with for both of us. My problem isnt nessicarily that she doesnt want to go and be uncomfortable…its the way she goes about it by telling me how horrible she thinks my family and house is and says everyone else is toxic…
This is a double sided problem. You shouldn’t expect something from your partner and he doesn’t need to express his love on paper. Don’t get me wrong, heartfelt gestures are awesome but that’s why they are called heartfelt… Because they are from the heart and spontaneity made. So I stand that both of you are in the wrong and y’all need to find a way to apologize. Everyone expresses love differently.
He shouldn’t even be living with a girl while he’s in a relationship. This is my opinion. My gf is currently looking for a place to online and I’m pretty against her moving in with any single guys. If she does I might dump her depending on the situation. I would just get an apartment with her but we’ve only been together for a few months.
Good luck tho. If he doesn’t want you two crossing paths that’s a huge red flag in my book
Hang on, you MARRIED this??? Please tell me this came after. I beg.
Be upfront. “I know why you're doing this. If you wanted a paternity test then you could have come to me about it like an adult.” then take the test and give him a nice fat “So, what secrets did you uncover?” when it comes back that his son is actually his son.
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You realize your wife is offering absolutely nothing to put your mind at ease right? She is having sex with strangers, that may or may not have turned into coercion, and she is just asking you to believe her story. On top of that, she was terrified of you seeing the actual evidence of this go down?
This is pretty very hot to believe man, I’m sorry. The fact that she’s “back to her old self” after convincing you she was RAPED just does not jive. She doesn’t have PTSD? She’s not having nightmares? She isn’t flinching at being touched? Come on man.
That's cool for you, but it sounds like OP has reasons to believe he thinks he is not their kid's father, but for real. It's not a logic leap if they've been softening you up for the accusation for a while.
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No they're saying that assuaging his fears is not enough to restore the damage he made by lying and accusing.
The fuck.
You need to seriously take a real, no-bullshit No Contact period of time away from your family, especially your sister.
Fuck apologies about the “scene” you made, YOUR SISTER CAUSED IT. These moronic “pranks” aren’t funny, and they’re not something that you did.
But also…seriously, if your first thought was to shoot yourself, you…really have some deep-seated issues that you might not be aware of. You should see a therapist for some self-reflection and betterment. Do not tell anyone in your family about the therapy.
In fact, don’t talk to anyone in your family for at least six months to a year. You m gonna guess that there’s some influence here.
MYOB. Send her a friendly (but not necessarily deep) post every now and then.
Live! your life, and she can online hers too.
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You are just as bad a person as he is!! Both of you are despicable nasty, disgusting people! I hope you BOTH ruin each other!!
If you are uncomfortable, go with your gut.
If you are asking if we think the post was ick, I don’t think so. He said the future. He didn’t start a wedding registry.
To me, he was saying he looks forward to spending more time with you.
Also figure that the message may have been written with you in mind, to let you know that he is enjoying getting to know you.
You didn’t overreact. I’d say that with a baby on the way, an emotional reaction was to be expected.
Your sister is f-ed up if she thinks that this was an acceptable prank. It’s not funny! The moment you started crying she should have told you it was a prank. Even more so when you started talking about suicide. She is totally warped if she allowed you to keep thinking it was true for one more second, then.
A pregnant woman is bound to react emotionally because of hormones. You might have jumped out a window and been dead before she could tell you it was a prank. She must be very stupid or else she actively wanted to play with your life and well-being.
Then I think like I said, you are just hoping he feels bad/guilty about being a shitty roommate. I don't think that's going to happen. It seems you're set on telling him anyway so I'm not sure what advice you're looking for.
Your life is understandably busy with a baby now, sometimes these things can get rough. What does your average week look like? Like how often do either of you spend at work, taking care of your kid, doing chores and other responsibilities, etc.
I ask because a lot of the time you’ll hear “sex isn’t the problem, it’s the symptom”. Many times this means you might be lacking intimacy in other parts of your relationship (very important). What does your romance outside of sex look like? How often do you do date nights, or just act romantic or flirty with each other? You say you know things that used to turn you on now make you feel gross, have you had the time to think about what you’d really like, or are you drawing blanks?
They have two kids unfortunatly…
“I'm almost one month pregnant”… yeah, that person has never been pregnant.
It’s rude to comment on someone’s appearance about a thing that can’t be changed in 2 mins. (Hair out of place, smeared eyeliner, bogey in nose). Tell her she won’t be getting anymore of your dick.
I’m not sure, as I don’t have her number
cold turkey could kill him, bad idea. that level of alcoholism is gonna require some rehab, or at the minimum professional treatment, for it to be successful. withdraw is a bitch.
do not date an addict-yes you want to help them, no they will not change for you. they must want to change themselves. until he starts treatment, wait for that. you’ve waited this long, it’s not gonna hurt you to make sure he’s following through with what he says he wants to do. trust me-it will save a lot of heart break.
If that’s the norm be abnormal.
Sometimes you just can’t get the trust back. That isn’t your fault, that’s his for breaking your trust and hurting you for three years.
A good lawyer and divorce papers.
So I should explain more. There are veterinary institutes and hospitals who take care of beagles that were used for experiments by companies. These beagles are fostered first and trained for an year and then let for adoption. They are very different from normal beagles. I have been foster parent for beagle. And while beagle are hunting dog, however compared to Labrador they are easier. I would suggest shelters and veterinary clinics/institutes/hospitals for getting pets. There are lot of puppies and dogs. For me, a 9 month dog is also a puppy but lot of people prefer 6 months or younger which is kind of troublesome.
Think of all the times that someone broke up with you. What you didn't like about it, what you thought was good that they did. Not that any of it is good for you, but at least, what you thought was a respectable way to break up with you.
Then do your break up like that. Eg, IMO, I would do it asap and do it in person. I would not do it over text or I would not ghost.
And yea, Christmas is coming in a day or two…so this is going to be a killer moment, in the sense that you either break up before Christmas and make her hurt during that day, or you break up after Christmas but she'll be mad at you pretending to be all happy and excited to be with her and her family on that day.
So pick something and go forth.
Don't feel guilty – she deliberately misled you, and it's highly likely she wouldn't have disclosed her age until a few dates in, once you were invested. It's almost predatory behaviour.
It's dishonest and manipulative. There is no excuse to lie to a potential new partner like that. You handled this in a very sensitive way and with any luck, she'll realise that using an image that looks nothing like her and lying about her age won't bring her any more positive male attention.
actually i confessed to her w now its even more complicated
In spite of all this mess, I loved her truly and from my the bottom heart. I stayed in absolute NC for more than 6 months hopefully she could have worked on correcting at least some of them. I am a person who reads a lot, self-inspects himself, thoughts, and feelings, she doesn’t do so at all. On paper, I have not single legitimate reason to consider reconciling, but I have good feelings for her.
Yea that's what I got from this post too. The likes the stability he provides for her, but she also wants to go out and screw around. He's just a fall back guy she can keep running back to when things don't work out.
If you get nothing back out a relationship, end it
This won’t work, he’s in a cult, you need to run before he tries to drag you into it. JWs have one mission, and that is to make converts.
she didn't keep fucking him. It was only this one time, which happened not two weeks after our first date
You can’t convince him to come, but personally I would feel the same as you do. Is lack of effort on his part a recurrent theme in your relationship?
So she used you till she couldn’t take it anymore
What a piece of trash
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Just break up with her. You shouldn’t be having mental health problems because of your partner.
It’s a plot line in the movie Love Actually- husband (Alan Rickman) buys an expensive…necklace? For his…secretary? And the wife ((Emma Thompson) finds it. Christmas morning, she receives a Joni Mitchell cd from him.
Not actually a love story. Or great Christmas movie. Kind of a bummer.
Yeah I’m not sure why I got so heated on this tbh.
I just tend to get claustrophobic when someone wants to know what I’m doing 24/7, and expects me to explain everything I’ve done and why I’ve done it. My mom used to be like that after I graduated college and it was really awful. So I’m putting myself in her husband’s shoes a little too very hot here, cause she wants to know where he was, what he did, and why he did it.
Like it really does make me anxious and nervous when someone acts this way with me essentially.
As I said we are both friends, have been forever, I’d say we’re both each other’s closest friend maybe just person in general. That’s our relationship.
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I was just trying to make sure I didn't miss anything 🙂
I agree with this poster. Tell her that you’ll cut her off. It’s harsh to do, but she is no friend of yours if she does this.
I think two porn movie actors love story was better.
And a former rock star with his manager. Love is not just romantic love.
And a dad with his son, although this one is too sappy.
I think it is a great movie. It not supposed to be all unicorns and rainbows, it actually shows how you can totally fuck up your life with even the best intentions, like Karl and a girl with mentally disabled brother story. This one was really sad.
Fuck 'em. My grandparents have money (or had money? My grandfather just died, and my grandmother is already moving in with a new guy who used to work for NASA or some shit, I don't know how to refer to their situation, but my grandmother is still on the “rich snob” side) and are/we're very “judgey.” I had to learn to get over what other people think a looooong time ago. Especially what my family thinks.
I'm sure my family is talking shit about my lifestyle. Before it was because I was a drug addict, now it's because I don't wear expensive clothes/jewelry/whathaveyou even though I “landed” a long-term partner with a good career. I haven't told them much about his lifestyle/nothing about his savings because they would judge him for not living “up to” his wealth demographic. This decision was solidified after my stepbrothers fiance showed my family her ring, and my grandmother said (behind her back) that the fiance should be “embarrassed” to show off such a “cheap” ring.
Honestly judgey people will judge you no matter what. Even if you treated your wife like a “trophy wife” they would still say you're doing things wrong (that you got the “wrong” car, the “wrong” expensive furniture, that you're “not spending enough on her” in general.) If my boyfriend was a trendy sort of person, he'd never date me, and, honestly, I wouldn't want to date him. You don't have to cut off these sort of judgemental family members, but you have to learn to not care about their opinions or it'll drive you crazy. The only opinion that matters is your wife's and yours.
If your wife is encouraging these ideas, that's the actual problem.
It's only one day of the year, even if it is a special holiday. You can make it up later.
She might not have had a choice in working. Many jobs let the senior people off first, the newer folks have to work or lose their job. At least she has the sense to keep her job, many people call off and lose their job at the end of the year then have to wait weeks to start working again,
So you think your fiancé is creep and easily angered?
Why are you marrying him?
They wanted to play uno or chess, and uno sucks as a two player game
That's not gaslighting, but he sounds like a bit of a dick.
You seem like bad vibes, so first of all, just chill out lol and for the advice part, if you’re really that much better, just don’t take the game too seriously, and play based off instinct, or make the game weird by playing different moves than normally happen. It’s a date, not a competition, just try to have a good time. Jeez man, you really sound like terrible fucking energy lol you really need to focus on relaxing and just hanging out with them and having fun, not wrecking them at chess.
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Should I tell her how i feel and risk the broken friendship or should I just endure the pain and try to keep her in my life as my best friend?
Neither, for now at least. Telling her right now is an option ,but as you say it's likely to do more bad than good.
What I would suggest is taking a step back. Distance yourself from her, this is the only way for you to recover emotionally, not contacting her. Do not ghost her however, when she ask you should give a vague explanation, like that you need to deal with something and will go low contact with her for a while. You can say her that you are sorry and hope she hon't hold it against you. With that she is still likely to figure it out herself, but not saying this out loud will avoid making things awkward and should you move on from your love for her, it will be easier to resume your friendship.
Keep in mind to move on you need to actually find things to do in meantime. I mean both activities and people to meet and spend time with.
However, neither is she. I hope they can save their friendship.
No, it's not fatphobia, it's douchebagphobia. What kind of prick see enough pizza that clearly each person will get just a few pieces then eats 15 pieces? His problem isn't his size. It's that he's an asshole.
I think you're the one whos not thinking straight. There is no reason for you to see this woman, particularly if you have to hide it.
I would have an adult conversation with your wife about this and say you don’t want to adopt her kids just to spite their father – that it is childish and ugly –
Sexuality can be really complicated for some people! I was a repressed queer for most of my life. At the time, I thought I was heterosexual (my upbringing was fundamentalist Christian so there being another option was never really something I knew). Then, I went through a stint where I thought I was bisexual. Then I fell in love with a woman and now all other people repulse me sexually and I consider myself a demisexual lesbian because I would never be romantically interested in a man.
Your sexuality (regardless of what label you feels fits best—or no label at all) could be as laser focused as being attracted to ONE man and one man only in a homosexual capacity. Pursuing any kind of relationship with him would make it a “gay relationship” but doesn’t have to mean your sexuality is homosexual.
You’ve “never been attracted to men” before. Now you have. Don’t sweat it! You don’t have to label yourself… love is love. Attraction is attraction. It’s only a big deal if you make it one/feel that it is.
You kiss him goodbye and thank your cat for showing you his real side
I had a bf ditch me Christmas Eve to go get high with a friend. I gave him a pass. One that lasted 20 years. It was all a fucking waste. Don't give him a pass. Confront it, deal with it, dump him, whatever.
Is he a Korean man?
Culture is different there in regards to women. Be very aware.
No. That is actually stalking. It's creepy. I'm sorry a shitty romcom taught you that this was romantic, but it's not. Leave that girl alone.
Some places are very very hot to reach and it's not uncommon to not have internet access. Source: I online in Mexico
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Yes it is recommended. A quick Google would have told you that
Talk to a counselor. Tell the would-be rapists parents, tell the police, have your counselor help you tell your boyfriend. Your “friend” really isn't a friend. She is supporting her boyfriend and hanging out with those that hurt you. Stay away from her. She has chosen a side and it's not yours. If you have bruises, marks go to the hospital so they can take pictures with the police report. I am sorry this happened to you.
She took a few months off to birth their newborn! Not to trek around Europe! Women get paid thousands upon thousands to be a surrogate. She had his BABY!
So he doesn't work and he's an asshole who doesn't respect you. Is there anything good abt him?
Disregarding feelings and suggesting to “find a third”. I'm starting to feel anxious when I start thinking about that guy, and I'm not an anxious person
Wow, that sounds strange and obsessive to me from afar. How are you certain?
how old are you?
Thank you!
It's a horrible thing for OP to find out, but he's put actual cameras up and is policiing his mother's sex life like she's his wife. This is super messed up.
You got what you deserved. You just wanted to sleep around but keep your husband. Lemme guess, you already had someone in mind when you wanted to open the relationship?
Ultimately he is the one making the choice even if she’s making it difficult for him, maybe he would rather be single so he can devote his efforts to his sister rather than married with the inconvenience of paying attention to and caring about your spouse and her needs and feelings.
Yup, do this. Maybe tell her what you did and what she has to expect after she left him.
Don’t blame her for her past behaviour. She was in a new relationship and only knew the lies he told her.
However, I’d also recommend to help her from a distance, if only to avoid the risk of your ex re-entering your life!
My advice, don’t keep female friends that you have slept with. It will always cause problems in relationships.
Is she late for absolutely everything? Or just some things?
If it is absolutely everything, there could be underlying reasons for that. ADHD, as others have mentioned, social anxiety, OCD (I must look perfect before I leave, for example.), generalized anxiety, etc. If this is the case, a consultation with her Primary Care Physician is a good place to begin. Medication and therapy can help her get this condition, whatever it is, under control. For example, chronic tardiness to work or school will adversely affect her employment and grades. So this issue needs to be addressed so she can succeed in life.
Alternatively, if she is only late for some things, it is possible that she prioritizes some things more than others. For example, always on time for work but always late for social engagements, she is prioritizing work and social engagements take a “back seat.”
If she is on time for work and other social engagements but only late for engagements/commitments with you. That's a gigantic red flag, IMO. If this is the case, you need to evaluate this relationship as it is not the relationship ypu think it is.
Before making a final decision, observe her behavior in all these circumstances as that will give you the knowledge you need to make a decision about this relationship.
Good luck.
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Sigh, fucking reddit hivemind in the comments as usual always jumping to breaking up….Or instead of doing what these people suggested, try actually fight for your relationship. You fucked up, now if you really like this girl, make an active effort to remedy this situation and do some serious apologizing. And if you want this relationship to continue, or for any future relationships you may have, you need to be open from the very beginning about things like this.
It cannot be worked out. The betrayal of your private personhood had been wrecked.
Demand his user password and access to his photo cloud or his PC files – he is doing this to a lot of women.
Warn his sisters and cousins. He is a creep, in the most cowardly sense.
Considering the fact that she most certainly had an emotional affair, and likely even had a physical one, why would you want to continue the relationship? She obviously has no intention of remaining loyal to you or to respect boundaries and protect the relationship. This isn’t a woman you can trust.
My advice is, since you already pretty much broke up with her, just make it permanent. You can find a better woman out there, and let this girl online with her new guy.
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Please leave this relationship with someone who is so uncaring, callous and without an ounce of empathy. He obviously is so incredibly self centered and selfish his concern wasnt for you or anyone else affected by your friends suicide but by how he appeared to be embarrassed by normal and expected human behavior. The term Narcisstic springs easily to mind.
Why are practical children getting married anyway.
Next time try not to freak the fuck out like a monkey in a cage. Probably don’t show up to next years thanksgiving either if it taking you weeks to apologize to the dude lmfao.
She doesn't want to be with you but she wants that visa. Get out.
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She sounds emotionally abusive, manipulative, and really into getting attention for the wrong reasons. You sound like you'll be better off without her.
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I’ve tried talking to her about it, several times, and she has been improving but she still does it. Last night she disappeared from the family gathering around 8:30 while we were waiting for her, then when I laid with her at 9, she didn’t say more than a word at a time to me. She fell asleep at 1am, woke up at 4 hours ago, and still nothing.
Maybe I don’t see it, but what I meant was going through that list…
Despite his father being verbally/emotionally abusive he doesn’t have a low sense of self worth. He isn’t fearful of what might happen next. He isn’t codependent. He doesn’t resist positive change. He isn’t afraid of being abandoned as far as I can tell.
He generally wouldn’t tolerate abusive behaviours from others (I guess except FIL)
He doesn’t generally have difficulty standing up for himself or asserting boundaries (I guess except with FIL)
He doesn’t neglect his own needs for others. He doesn’t have an innate feeling of shame as far as he as ever expressed or given me reason to believe. He doesn’t seem to crave external validation. He tolerates conflict and is usually able to resolve issues in our relationship fine even when we disagree (except for this one)
He is not overly agreeable.
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Perhaps then, call him instead of waiting for him to call you.
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And just what the fuck are you waiting to kick this asshole to the curb? Are you going to wait until your son moves out and never talks to you again to realize this is abuse and the longer you wait the longer you will be seen as enabling this shit?
Obviously we can't know everything from just reading your post, but…this doesn't make sense. Do you have mental health issues? Possible schizophrenia, anxiety, etc? Because your post comes across as very paranoid. I find it very hot to believe that multiple workplaces are literally out to get you for no reason because you're attractive. There are lots of attractive women in the workplace and this doesn't happen to them.
Also, you left work early because a random coworker told you to? Don't you have scheduled hours? I don't understand.
Not knowing you personally, my recommendation would be to check into therapy and have your mental health checked. As far as work, just lock down your social media so it's all private only. Keep your head down at work, do your job, and go home. If anyone harasses you, go to HR.
In my opinion this is something so minor it’s not worth a second thought from either person.
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You aren’t a villain, you’re just in a super shitty situation.
Suggestion:
Tell your dad you’re happy for him and his soon-to-be fiancé. That you want to respect his relationship and any to give him privacy. As much as you love him, you understand he will need alone time with him new bride.
Tell him how super super grateful you are to have such a loving, supportive dad. And that your bond means the world to you (this seems absolutely true based on your post).
Have several apartment options with and without roommates on hand to show him. Talk to him about moving out and how your finances might work.
Ask him what he thinks. Make it about him and his fiancé. Play kind and considerate.
As shitty as it is, complaining and whining will only make things worse. You’re best hope for dealing with this crap is to separate yourself mentally from all the emotions and pretend like you’re playing a role in a movie.
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How many more years before you accept reality? Break up. Come on.
And try to not have any more babies if you're not intending or able to be around them.
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I am guessing you simply admired his work and he took it upon himself to infiltrate your personal space with the private message. That is always the M.O. of the cheater. As if they run the market on new p***y. The audacity of them to assume using narcissistic opportunity words like “connection” and “vibe” negates their marital vows. You can bet he is already cyber harassing at least one or two others because even if he is above average in the looks department it would take someone giving him the ego stroke verbally before he would actually have the nerve to send unsolicited dick pics. There is at least the code of ethics that says he would ask first or at least wait until you asked for it. To him it makes no difference though he is fulfilling only his selfish needs to fantasize outside of his marriage. He could be oblivious to actually getting any positive feedback. As for his wife, well she may well need to know that this is who she married. He didn't cheat yet but the intention is just as bad. He will lie to her of course the same way he doesn't care about your involvement in his approach imagine he cares even less for her reproach. he is simply a child who doesn't have the maturity to handle owning a penis.
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I would rather adjust my life to your absence then to adjust my boundaries to accommodate your disrespect
It's unreasonable to expect her parents to pay. They don't need to help out & they shouldn't be expected to pay for you and your gf's plans.
Can they not spend the night with you and your gf? Would at least save on the hotel.
Just because you could handle or want to stay friends, doesn't mean she does or had to.
She blocked you, she's moving on. Time you do the same.
Even my husband was ambivalent about people going to his 6-9 year birthday meetings. It’s the same story, and he’s been in the rooms long enough to know those birthdays aren’t about him, they’re about whoever might walk in the door that night looking for something. By 31 years you’d think this supposed mother would know that.
Even my husband was ambivalent about people going to his 6-9 year birthday meetings. It’s the same story, and he’s been in the rooms long enough to know those birthdays aren’t about him, they’re about whoever might walk in the door that night looking for something. By 31 years you’d think this supposed mother would know that.
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I guarantee your bf and this girl did not have a close friendship that was 'ruined' by his ex forcing him to block her for a period of time.
His behaviour is extremely creepy and has more than likely came across as odd at some point to this girl. I mean if he's been obsessively following her social media for a long time, showing her pics and talking about her romantically to ex gfs and current gf then he has absolutely made it clear at some point to this girl he's interested and been shot down. The fact he's still prattling on about her and somehow thinks the lack of contact/ change in behaviour from this girl is the fault of someone else shows he's living in fantasy land where he thinks a relationship between them is still gonna happen.
Don't let him ruin your self esteem by comparing you to someone else. You deserve your partner to only want you, as you are. Get rid of him.
I don’t think this story is real. OP said in her comments her kids favorite Harry Potter character is Ron Weasley. No one’s favorite Harry Potter character is Ron, I call malarkey.
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Many years ago my husband used to travel for work and do this to me. He felt like I was keeping tabs on him and was seriously offended that he would have to call and check in. Then one year he asked that the kids and I join him at his destination and enjoy the hotel he was staying at. Traffic was heavy, the kids needed more bathroom breaks than usual and as a result, we arrived much later than he expected. He was waiting for us, pacing at the curb. He'd obviously been extremely worried even though he totally trusted me. He was self aware enough to recognize that this was exactly the same thing that I was feeling when he traveled. After that, I never had to ask for a phone call to tell me that he arrived safely.
Sometimes, people have to go through it to understand.
What about them wanting to look like Barbie takes it too far? Is it because they are have cosmetic surgery to alter their appearance, because that is what OP's partner is doing as well. And we aren't privy to what extent. It's easy to say “it's a small change and may not even be noticeable” but that could apply to a lot of cosmetic dealbreakers.
How about face tattoos? It's just a little ink on their face that doesn't wipe off. Mouth gauges? A tiny hole. Teeth sharpening? You don't even see it when their mouth is closed. Where is the line between what changes are and aren't reasonable to be made uncomfortable by with your partner?
Yes, we are more than our appearances. A lot more. And with time/experiences we change in ways that aren't always exactly conventionally attractive. A love with depth should value more than just appearances. But that doesn't mean they don't matter and it also doesn't mean someone should be made to feel bad for leaving a relationship for it. No one is owed a relationship after all.
If she just found one day all things being equal she was no longer attracted to him for whatever reason it wouldn't be wrong or shallow for her to leave either.
What are you overthinking?
She was at a holiday party that you were at and you were one of the only people she felt comfortable around.
If you’d like to ask her on a date, ask her on a date. If you’d like to get to know her more, ask to hang out sometime and get to know her.
OP, I’m going to give it to you straight: you’re being entitled and you’re stuck in victim mentality. You contributed to this breakup and her blocking you, whether you see it or not.
Go to therapy or at the very least, read some books like “Codependent No More” or “Life Skills for Adult Children.” A 12 Step group might be helpful, too. Future potential partners are going to want to know what happened and your side of the story right now is a pile of red flags.
Because he's just using you for sex.
You deserve better.
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Your defensiveness prevents growth. Let me put it another way.
You are choosing unhealthy people and are unable to set boundaries. You need to work on both of those personal faults. Therapy shows that we choose what is familiar to us. You need to recognize what unhealthy behaviors you are accepting, so that you can have higher standards for yourself.
At no point did I say that your son was a mistake. But if you are constantly outraged at others’ advice, when you ask for it, you won’t learn much
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Sorry, OP. He got caught. I doubt she was a scammer and it's more in line with her reaching out to you– so you know the real sorr of man you're dating. To me it's a blessing in disguise…
What you “had” with him never really was. I'm sorry to state it like that, but that's how you need to view this. What you previously thought about your relationship isn't real.
In a way, it's certainly better for you to know now before marriage, but nonetheless, it's gut-wrenchingly hurtful and so for you, I'm sorry.
There are men out there that don't do this. I know I personally could never move past something like this. Good luck.
What a miserable way to online your life. Your final 6 words is never going to happen. If you realize that maybe you can do something constructive to improve your life.
How often do you make requests like this? Does he make similar requests of you, and do you show him appreciation?
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Stop sleeping with him. You want more and you're not gonna get it. He's using your want for romance and further intimacy to continue to get into your pants.
You need to divorce. Forcing you to have a child is abusive. You lying about it is an attempt to get away from this abuse or you lying to avoid a major disagreement. It's not actually clear fr this post. Either way, you need to leave. He wants a child. You don't. You are fundamentally incompatible. Rather than pointing fingers or trying to justify how great a wife you are, accept that this relationship no longer meets either of your needs.
Not sure how big of a red flag you need but…
But why is it “grooming” when I was an adult and he never did anything bad to me and wasn’t dishonest?
That is the least important part of what I said.
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OK you need to put this in your OP. Bc this changes things.
He's bringing this up for no reason every couple of weeks during something completely unrelated? He's telling you he hates your family and he doesn't know why you're with him?
I get why this is bothering you. This isn't about him not meeting your parents. This is about a repeated pattern of behavior that is frankly bizarre and is bothering you for good reason.
I'm leaving my orginal comment up but really, you should put this info in the OP.
Also break up with him. It sounds like he wants it. Just give him what he's asking for
But his reaction is what was shitty.
Since we are thinking rationally here , maybe her clients are spread out throughout the day and she doesn't have very many of them . Even if she did have 2 hours set aside per session ( i have a friend that does that . She can afford to because her workload isn't very heavy and she adamantly believes that rushing her patients and forcing them into shorter sessions is detrimental to their progress ) , she could still see 5-8 patients a day . Thats not exactly a small number.
To summarize , you called someone you don't know and have very little info about unethical because of your own guesswork and assumptions …
Thank u, I will think about it.
Is the friendship worth it if he's that petty?
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*I don’t check her social media i just checked her snap*
Umm…Snap is literally a social media. Lol.
*a friend told me she still has my number and she has been stalking my insta story for weeks even after i removed her from my followers*
Staph your friends from telling you whats she is doing! The ONLY way you would know she has been stalking your insta story FOR WEEKS is because you are checking IF she is FOLLOWING your insta?!
Maybe this was troll bait and fake but my god, is this how you lot behave in real life as well? Absolutely abhorant and need to work on your characters. Bc if this is how you lot are, it's you that is the problem in your relationships.
Why on earth would would even consider admitting to an affair you say you didn’t have???? If that has truly crossed your mind, you need to seriously rethink this relationship. In fact, you need to dump any guy who accused you of an affair because of a shirt. Do not move with him! You will be isolated from friends and family and stuck with an abusive, jealous jerk.
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Seems she'd rather delete the post than to get her head out of the sand
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Right? Maybe? A good idea? Not in my opinion because she might become reliable on it and will potentially cause drama when it comes to eventually cutting her off. Especially if she isn't stable. I think it's one thing to help her find a place, set her up, pay the security deposit if need be but beyond? She is an adult she needs to pay her own bills. If you want her to get legal advice for the work thing you can help pay for a lawywr but a monthly sum? I wouldn't do that. Or pay her a loan (which you don't ask back for. So basically you gave help, you don't expect it back but she can pay you back when/if she can and wants to do the right thing herself). Just my 2 cents.
This seems like a good idea I’ll try this one
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You ended the relationship.
Sure you can be mad but you ended it. He waited about 8 months not like he was sitting in the wings and got with her the same night you ended it.
Your MIL gave your wife the night off from bath duties. Since you've never showered with babies or toddlers, let me tell you, it's not fun. Unless you're offering to do the bath routine to give your wife a break, I think you need to put up or shut up.
Also, it's really odd to be concerned about them seeing her very hot. My kids aren't even little anymore and I couldn't care less if they see me in a state of undress. Like, they came out of me, if I want to change pants in the kitchen, I will.
No, this is not normal. If you haven’t already, You should maybe bring up health concerns with being overweight. I have gained about 15-20lbs and my wife brings it up to me all the time. Sometimes what says is interpreted as hurtful and bothers me, but I know she is saying it because she cares for me and knows that when you’re overweight you could end up having more health issues than when your not overweight. If you are purely focusing on aesthetics, then you’re probably taking the wrong approach and have the wrong mind set.
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You were broken up
It happens some times Now if it was a currant girl your with then yeah that would be a issue.
Laugh about it and keep your friend.
If you would regularly hang out or meet up with each other, you can message him to let him know you really enjoyed spending time with him that night. (see how he responds)
If his response isn't obvious one way or the other, you can add “we should do that again soon”. (see how he responds) If he responds positively, you can add casually ” just let me know when you're free”. If he seems to brush it off, change the subject.
Interesting quiz. I scored lower than I expected. I'm gonna go make everyone I know take it now hahaha.
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Let me preface this by saying I’m a serial monogamist so taking your side in this isn’t about open relationships in general.
You got into the relationship based on the premise it’s open. While there’s nothing wrong with him changing his mind, there’s also nothing wrong with wanting out when one partner wants to change the rules. You want an open relationship, so be with a partner who wants that as well.
I’d also be weary about the fact that he wants to close the relationship because he’s jealous you’re getting more action than him. That sounds like he hasn’t even actually changed his mind, he’s just resentful you’re more successful than him.
As for him being the best bf you’ve ever had: You got together when you were 18. Forget about that. There will be plenty of better partners for you down the road.
Yes
I am mad because my friend did something that was none of my business and didn't tell me. The only reason you have to be mad is if you still have feelings for your ex and he knew it.
I'm a dude and I once dated a woman that I thought was so good looking I didn't use anything except her or thoughts of her when I had solo fun.
It is very possible to just fixate on one person for a period of time. Feel good about yourself, my guy. There is a person out there that finds you immensely attractive!
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yes you should. if she is understanding and actually wants a serious relationship with you then she will stop talking to her ex. If she starts an argument then it's clear she doesn't really love you
You get rid of the feeling by leaving him. He’s literally telling you your only value to him is superficial beauty. He doesn’t really love you.
Find a good man who love you no matter your size. Don’t waste more tear on this hypocritical douche.
Thank you, I’m going to try my best to think through this logically without too much emotion. I’ll take my time
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Tbh, it sounds like your issue is not that you cannot bring it up in the right way, but you wanting her to listen to you and lose weight, because you like that better, and you're just frustrated because she doesn't do that. She knows she's gained weight. No need to inform her about it. If she wants to lose weight she will and you'll know.
Tbh, it sounds like your issue is not that you cannot bring it up in the right way, but you wanting her to listen to you and lose weight, because you like that better, and you're just frustrated because she doesn't do that. She knows she's gained weight. No need to inform her about it. If she wants to lose weight she will and you'll know.
You ever wonder if the reason your girlfriend doesn't trust you with your female friends is because you're in love with them?
There's nothing wrong with you; you just don't like this guy that way.
Look up the sunken cost fallacy. The fact that you've invested time and effort in the relationship to date should not figure in your thinking as to whether you keep going with this relationship- think about whether the relationship you have right now is something you want to keep.
You realise this is a territorial dispute, and you are the territory right? Unfortunately for you, you are going to have to make a choice and that is going to be difficult because until you shut this shit down, it will never end.
If it were me I'd be inclined to tell your mother that your wife is your family and you two are a team. That although you love her, you feel put in a position where you have to choose. In that case you choose your wife. And that if she can't act reasonable around her, you simply won't be around her. If she can't respect that, go low or no contact. And you need to sort this before you have kids or it will go pear shaped very quickly. Your wife can probably hold it together when your mum is pressing her buttons but I guarantee you it will be a lot more aggressive if she thinks her baby is being attacked. Good luck, I hope it works out for you.
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I was joking because it's impossible to have sex by accident no matter how drunk you are.
Think about it for a moment, if you're being serious and not just trolling, how do two people end up very hot one on top of the other by accident? The answer is that they don't.
He cheated completely on purpose, do with that as you will.
I’m more worried about the fact that I just physically put my arm around his shoulder without even asking. I get super anxious nowadays about these things and I was tipsy enough to just do that without even asking. Like maybe I should have verbally expressed interest instead? Idk
Your wife has pulled a bait and switch on you. She was never interested in your daughter or your nieces. Any affection or kindness she showed was all an act to reel you in and once she had the ring on her finger she felt like she didn't have to pretend anymore.
If you have any doubts about this, look at your own timeline. You got married three years ago. You stopped giving your daughter birthday gifts or even a card two years ago. In the space of one year she effectively alienated you from your own child. It probably started before then but maybe you brushed it off as excitement about being engaged, being busy planning the wedding… If you try and tackle her about this now I don't doubt that she'll suddenly decide it's because she wants a baby all of her own and once she has one everything will be wonderful again. Don't fall for it! Once she has a child of her own your daughter will become even more of an unwanted burden in her eyes and she'll now have an additional threat to hang over your head in the form of your child together.
You have deeply hurt your daughter and your nieces by choosing to please a manipulative, emotionally and financially abusive woman over the promises you made to them. Has she really been worth it? And if not, what are you going to about it?
Yeah, she resents him for leaving but it doesn't sound like she did much to make herself appear like a good partner to move out with.
I have PTSD from my mother and she also hoards to the point my SIL and I are already discussing how to handle the house when she passes.
I don't want to online like that, so the people who care about me and help keep me out of a last ditch, no other option of moving back into my family home…. I treat them with gratitude?
I know, I agree a different time is better, but I think I should be able to make a decision knowing it’s not a date…
Just break up with your BF. So you can pride this friendship I don’t know why you think some of us were born yesterday. Going to the beach at 7pm yea totally nothing is going to happen and it’s totally platonic.
FLORIDA lol!
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Seriously. This guy is gonna think it’s on if OP meets him for the beach date.
Can you explain 'mostly emancipated'? How long have you lived in your own home?
You have never even met this guy. How many in person relationships have you had with peers? Has that been comfortable for you?
Can you explain 'mostly emancipated'? How long have you lived in your own home?
You have never even met this guy. How many in person relationships have you had with peers? Has that been comfortable for you?
Thanks a lot for your advice! I really see your point and I appreciate it. My physical attraction to her has always been a really important factor that made me stay in this relationship.
WHY? Seriously why would you be doing this to yourself? Being in-love is not good enough and is not an excuse!
He sounds insufferable to be around. And you can't even claim this is a long term relationship because in his mind, he wants to be dead in 10 years.
I can't say cold sores makes her guilty. And I will explain why I think this.
But the lying does make her guilty.
The thing with cold sores, is that it can be hereditary. Some people it don't manifest in until later in life.
I have been getting them my whole life. Things like a severe upset stomach will give me one. Stress is another that will bring them on.
My doctor told me I inherited them from my mom, she gets them too.
When I kiss my husband while I have a outbreak, he never gets them too. But his father does. he obviously didn't get the gene. Lucky him.
My advice is go to a doctor, have it looked at. Because I have seen STD's appear in mysterious ways, and if the doctor doesn't say it is a common cold sore, then he can test it.
Your ex may be stalking you, and probably told your current bf something to make him leave. I would tell your ex you're in a new relationship with someone you're not (and talk to this person first) and see if he messages this “new guy.”
Yeah the issue was he kept saying things about what she was wearing. She tried to resolve it by telling him she didn’t like it. He ignored her request. You are advocating to resolve him completely putting her down and comparing her to others and ignoring her requests to stop?
Thank you, you’re right I have had many issues in the past with saying no, especially considering with her when I do she gets mad at me for “gatekeeping.” I had originally wanted to date outside of the community, she was barely a part of it when we first met, and has since become more involved.
Thank you for the support, yes, I agree it feels as though she’s being very selfish. Just to clarify, she moved in with me because my lease was ending and she was in a more affordable place before. The living situation isn’t much of her using me.
I’ll definitely take this deep into consideration. I’ve been considering that outcome for some time and I’ve been afraid of wether or not I’m making the right decision
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Seriously. Listen to the nice lady who loves you
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Even with the scholarship? I don’t want to underestimate him
Thank you for posting this. Really made me take a step back and look at why it went from a joke to me thinking he found sex with me a chore.
My initial reply was me winding him up but he didn't banter back at me. That threw me off big style and blew up in my face. Was just snowballing from then with him dismissing everything I said when I could have avoided the whole thing by not trying to wind him up for a compliment at the very start.
I think a big step in your developing self confidence and self respect is to communicate to him that you do hate what he is saying. Going along with something you hate eats away at your soul.
Is there a domestic violence support service you're able to speak to get some guidance on the situation?
Find DISTURBING that he will insist on it. He can suggest and if you refuse, this is it! No one has to have sex for others entertainment.
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Because I have expensive bed sheets.
Recommended is actually every one to two weeks.
🤣
I’m only asking for what is legally required (what is fair) in writing if and when we divorce. Because without a job or the ability to make a lot of money fast, he could leave me tomorrow with nothing and it could take months to get a hearing that requires him to pay for temporary alimony/child support. He could also drag out a divorce and essentially financially strangle me to where I am forced to agree to less than what is fair to keep my head above water. These are all tactics high earning men use against their wives that don’t work or make significantly less money than them. This is why I required a post-nup to move out of the state I could practice my profession in.
Well the fact that she just recently was diagnosed probably means a certain type of behavior has been escalating to the point where OP was placed in a situation where she had to be diagnosed, all the while her boyfriend ahs just been trying to navigate it. Hate to say it OP, but not every person is suited to be with someone dealing with your disorder.
Well, fuck…it sounds like you left and it's over, too.
“I was drunk! It was only a kiss! One thing lead to another!”
Holy trinity of cheater excuses. There's like 5 on the front page of this sub alone.
Figure out what your end goal is, then work towards it.
If you want to stay try couples counseling. She came to you, this isn't something you found. Take your time with it.
This
Is he generally a good or poor gift-giver? Do you two exchange lists of any kind? Is he thoughtful usually and this is an anomaly?
I'll admit that I am godawful at giving gifts. Every holiday I sweat buckets knowing my boyfriend who is basically a gift savant is going to knock it out of the park. It has helped me immensely when he gives me a list, or at least a rough idea of what he wants. I still manage to get some surprise stuff but knowing that he's going to like what I give him is a huge relief.
Your disappointment is completely understandable. He should know that household utensils fall under the classic “not really a gift” gifts, like a vacuum cleaner. I would have a talk with him about how you feel and discuss how he can do better with gifting in the future.
If your girlfriend has wavy or curly hair, going to bed with damp hair will create a bad hair day.
Most people shower in the morning. It lets you start the day fresh, you style your hair from scratch, rather than undo the bad hair day, and you start the day with new, clean clothes.
Many people sweat in their sleep, it’s better to put deodorant on in the morning after a shower. With your method, your deodorant has to last 24 hrs. Or you have to put deodorant on top of sweaty pits.
Many people work out in the morning, so showering after that is common sense.
Showering twice/day is a huge waste of water. The only people I know who justify twice daily showers are healthcare workers. One when they get up, and one when they get home to protect your l loved ones from being contaminated by your patients.
If you want to shower in the AM, knock yourself out. But if your girlfriend feels less confident, it will drive her away
Jesus christ dude what is wrong with you
Of course she's pulling away from you. You really hurt her. Some people are naturally sensitive and emotional. My husband is like that, he cries at every little thing, and you know what? I LOVE THAT ABOUT HIM. It's part of who he is, he's sensitive and empathic. It's not manipulative in any way, it's part of who he is as a person.
If anything, you are being manipulative by trying to control how she reacts emotionally, how she tells stories, when she can and can't cry. Your making her feel shitty about something she can't control. You are 100% in the wrong here. You sound really controlling. Also, it is pretty common to exaggerate for comedic effect. Its not lying, it's story telling. Have you never watched a comedian?
You need to apologize to her, say you were extremely wrong to say that, and that it isn't true, and beg for her forgiveness.
Also, INFO: has she had any traumatic things or abuse or anything happen to her in the past? Or mental health issues? Because crying easily, especially with confrontation, is a common symptom of PTSD or depression or other mental health issues.
I'll be honest, I only read half the post before I was like girl, run, he's a walking red flag.
8 months is nothing, you should still be in the honeymoon phase, not having a laundry list of issues and talking about seeing a therapist. Don't waste any more time and energy on this guy.
I hope she'll leave you
I mean…you embarrassed her in front of your friends and then took the conversation even further by hurling insults.
You also took MONTHS to notice her ghosting you. Like what? I can tell when my friends aren’t acting right even though I only see them once a month and you can’t even tell if your wife is acting normal?
Dump him. He’s a piece of shit. You deserve better.
She should also fake orgasms and tell him he's the best she's ever had so she can forever protect his fragile ego.
/S
I am so sorry you are dealing with this, saying goodby to long time friends is never an easy decision to make and in itself is like dealing with death and all it's stages. from the “what if's” the denials the anger and bartering. but at the end there is acceptance.
acceptance that no matter what you do you can't make her better.
acceptance that this is the person she is and until she wants to change you can't do anything for her.
acceptance that as much as you love her she is not what you need in your life right now and you have grown appart.
you will always cherish the good times and remember her fondly, but the person she is brings nothing of value, bring no positive things into your life and because of that you have to move forward and leave her behind.
you outgrew her, and there is nothing wrong with that, you became a different person and that person is not one that can tolerate being used and treated like a backup plan. you are not a thing to be placed on a shelf and taken down when it is convenient for her, you are not a bank account to be spitting up money when ever she rolls around. You are a person and you deserve friendships that are positive and bring you joy and happiness.
There is nothing wrong with quietly ghosting this friend of yours. of telling her you have no money but hey wanna come over for supper sometime and then see if she actually takes you up on it or vanishes in the wind. I have left 3 friendships behind because I outgrew the person in question. it is normal and it happens.
While he sucks, she sucks just as much. She is a horrible person trying to keep him from buying his kids stuff. I don't understand all these comments defending this woman who is treating a child like shit.. “oh don't you help buy her a piano” “don't you save for college” what kind of selfish person does that? She is a horrible person and there is no excuse for her. Just like he is a horrible person for allowing his wife to dictate how he treats his daughter.
Lepidoptera boyfriends are the worth
Hit foreskin shouldn't really be smelling like anything if he's cleaning under it…
If you can't tell, this is abusive behavior. And not the kind of abuse that can be therapied out of the relationship. She's unbalanced, you need to leave immediately. IF the relationship can be saved, it can't be done while you're still in a position of vulnerability to her nuttiness.
I'm really saying that to be as kind as possible. This relationship should not be fought for, it's insanely bad.
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That’s not a bad idea honestly
What has his previous birthday gifts looked like?
You shouldn’t have asked that question. That said, she should have lied. Y’all are both young and have some growing up to do.
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I got to say that I completely agree with her – couples counseling is a great idea. You are about to jump into cohabitation with someone who has completely different values than you – to the point that she got deeply offended when you suggested saving and budgeting.
You need to have the conversation and it sounds like it needs to be moderated and guided by a professional.
Worst case, you discover you’re making a mistake and break it off.
Please don’t have a baby
She probably found someone else, Either way best to just move on
It can be months or it can be years before they reveal themselves.
OP has specifically said he is reluctant to leave because he moved 5 hours away to online with her and doesn't have the finances to move back.
Isolated, no local support network and financially dependant.
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Yeah, sure, depression is a myth and even it was true, people just snap out of it every time. Yep, totally seen it before…
Hey Philip. Thank you for taking the time to write a considerate response, it truly means a lot. I think you are right in a lot of your analyses. It has been tough, but I have luckily also enjoyed and benefited from my exchange, and though you're right in assuming the past months have been challenging and me having feeling of walking on eggshells I also believe I have grown, as I think I have also proved myself and my ability to go through with my desires and listen to my needs. Kind regards
Ask him to get tested first. Stds hiv oral herpes then go off condoms. No stds checkup no sex with no condoms
Maybe record him next time he acts like this. There is nothing worse than seeing yourself acting like a fool while intoxicated. Have you actually said the words,” I’m embarrassed by you.”?
I think I am. I have to be careful since she’s not mine, but I’d feel ready to have my own baby right now.
All the other people's advice on herebis spot on. Listen to it. You are the asshole here.
Can confirm this is true
Why ask a question when you can’t handle the answer?
❤️thank you
Why are you asking questions like that when you should be backing her straight up the headboard with your tongue? When she looks like she's in need of an exorcism, drive the demon out of her with your dick.
You will get the call that he has died some day. It is his choice to refuse help, such that that call will come sooner. Three things to try. One visit and spend time with him more, and enjoy your time together. Two, low food intact can cause a nutritional deficiencies that then will lead to low appetite and lower food intake. So buy him some meal replacement shakes, let him know he needs to eat at least enough to keep his health up. And encourage him to get his meals met that way. Three some countries have social service agencies, community support services, or religious programs that check in on the elderly and sometimes work to get them assistance even if they are initially resistant to it. See if there’s something like that to help you in his areas. But do NOT move in. You can’t save someone from drowning if they pull you under with them. And his stubbornness will pull you under. Someone who wants help,thrn sure, but he’s actively fighting you on it, so until he wants help, do not move in.
“These days the app is mostly used for hookups”
Is it? Who told you that?
Whoa she sucks. I’m assuming “out of her league” means she thinks she’s too hot/good/whatever for you?
Who says that? Your job as a partner is to love and lift up your partner, not drag them down. And wtf with the sex comparisons? Who does that?
Maybe if you pushed her to answer she might eventually say something like “well he did a few nice things in bed but it’s about the whole person, I’d rather have you in and out of bed, that’s why we are together.”
Going down a bullet point list of your failings in bed is just cruel. If she did want you to do something different there are plenty of other ways to kindly suggest trying things.
She sucks, you deserve better. Find a partner who makes you feel GOOD about yourself, not bad.
Thanks for the advice, very appreciated.
If I don't feel like we are quite at the divorce step yet is there anything I can do?
Besides, how does joint custody over boarders work?
I proposed that and he refused…
Absolutely. But my guess is woman his own age don't want him.
Not sold it's a troll, there are younger girls who would fall for this and older guys who would try to sell it.
This might not be the first time. I would get yourself tested for STIs
What was the question?
um what? why should she be stuck wearing something she doesn’t like just because her husband put effort towards it? it’s a nice thought and everything but if it’s something she disliked on sight, how thoughtful could it actually be?
though i see in your other comment you spent 15 years wearing something you didn’t like just to spare someone’s feelings. i could never lol
Yeah yeah heard that before lol
Did op say it was missed or just not special though?
He doesn’t like YOU. He likes what you do for him.
You might not be able to see the difference between those two things, and that’s a really sad thing for you.
This! For real.
What a AH! He left you watching their kid while they screw each either?!?! You deserve so much better. He did exactly what his wife did to him to you with her and your expected to forgive and move on? I understand you love him and work well together but he doesn’t seem to care. He knows how it feels to be betrayed yet he did it to you anyways. If you do stay with him you know she will always be in his life because of his daughter will you trust him when he goes to pick up and drop her off to her mom?
Your person would never do this to you.
You aren't in a powerless position, you can choose to not put up with the BS and discontinue the relationship and move on to healthier relationships
You can’t force something as serious as marriage on anyone no matter how long you’ve been together. Just enjoy your relationship. If you keep bugging him about marriage, that might make him want to jump ship. What sounds more romantic? He proposed to me out of nowhere and was not expecting that or he proposed because I kept bugging him about it? Enjoy your guys’ company
Seeing lots of troubling age gaps these days.
Ladies, (the vast majority of the time) if he's a lot older than you, he's not with you because you're mature for your age, he's with you because you're young and he's weird.
Stop wasting your youth on creepy older dudes.
Dude… no. It's time to move on. There's no recovery from this. You can be for her as a friend if you can, but the relationship will never be the same. The trust is broken and it's better move on from her, and begin to heal yourself. Best of lucks, my dude.
So, planning in advance is something people typically have to do when they're working a job. What's weird here is that she'll make plans, and knowing y'all have plans she'll pick up a shift. If I am making plans for something, I will specifically let work know I'm not available that day, so if our schedule isn't out yet I'm guaranteed off. In addition, I'll tell coworkers I'm busy and can't go in if they need help. In addition, as a district manager she should not have to be at work every day someone she knows takes off, because the responsibilities she has are very specific.
I kind of get what you are saying but the non retail workers of the world have weekends off more then they don't. So there is no going “hey do you want to go to the farmers market on Sat” a few days before. Or if friends want to invite us out a week in advance, unless she already has the day off, it is usually a no. She gets off work at 8pm and is up at 5am, with that schedule it is very hot to do things after work. It has got to the point people don't invite us anymore. For us to do any type of event it would have to be something I find weeks in advance, especially if it is is on a weekend. Then she has to check if anyone has asked off for that day already before she makes the schedule. The schedule is two weeks so at best I have to find something 3 weeks prior. Which is honestly a lot of work. So most of our dates are going out to dinner.
you were going to propose to her? Bro, pls…you got to leave right now and find yourself someone else.
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If I didn’t care about her I would just cheat and fuck girls behind her back. I’m trying to do it in a way that she accepts
I don’t know why people hate talking on the phone so much. Sure, at times it can be inconvenient, but I love talking on the phone.
Please for the love of god don’t stop taking your meds….she needs to grow up.
This is your sister's fault, not yours. If it is anyone else's fault, it is your mom's for being a grown ass woman and not being able to support herself financially. Your mom needs to figure out how to survive living alone, then all of you can decide how to manager the relationship with your sister.
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ut I want to take a look at what she’s doing during that specific period of 9-3 that I mentioned.
Mostly TV, social media or going to the mall
WTF am i reading? after all of this you still think of taking her back? the moment you knew that she went home with some other guy is the time you should turn around and left.
Oh, I 100% agree with you and I know this from personal experience. Someone I was very close to as a teenager went to prison for having images of children on his computer when we were in our 20s. We weren't close by then so cutting him off wasn't a big deal but it did affect me and the way I am with people I am close to. I heard so many times “but he's so young!” and “but he's married with kids!” and my favourite “but he's such a good Christian boy!” because people couldn't shift that perception of what they thought a paedophile would look like.
I'd consider it a flag… Like how money gets spent changes, but particularly if he knows you aren't working. It's weird that it's shifted to all on you. I think next time he ask for coffee I'd say you forgot your money or ask if he can pay you back
You broke up for a reason. This should be another reason to stay broken up but you seem to have convinced yourself that the past was better than it was and therefore worth repeating.
You’re young, and you don’t want to hear to just leave him but that’s the advice a majority of people are going to give you.
There isn’t really any advice to give. You are choosing to be in a relationship with someone that’s having a child with someone else and in an effort to maintain a successful coparenting relationship it’s best if they are friends. Otherwise, in the future his (and yours if your still around) life with be really difficult.
Based on your comments, you’re not sure if she knows you’re back together. That’s the first thing you should make sure that he clarifies with her hopefully that will give you some piece of mind. But you’ll still have to get over the jealousy and try to make friends with her. You are still in the early stages, but you’ve got a long road ahead of you. When the baby is born, the baby will be at the mothers and he will spend a lot of time over there. You may or may not be welcome immediately. You need to think about all of these things and determine if they are things you can handle. She’s not just going to hand you guys a newborn to coparent immediately.
Your 22. Please move on. This is all beyond creepy.
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As someone who is heavily tattooed I would absolutely leave him. I’m surprised a tattoo artist would agree to those sorts of images in the first place. He’s not going to be able to make any real meaningful connections for the rest of his life while those tattoos are exposed. I met someone who stupidly got a tattoo of the Black Dahlia’s body on his legs and he said he had to have it covered up eventually because strangers would confront him about it, he couldn’t date because women were (quite rightly) disgusted, his family was disgusted. Those sorts of gory tattoos are just, in my opinion, really horrible decisions. Have you sat him down and told him how you feel?
It's also NOT RECOMMENDED. Newborns need time to develop an immune system, and they're not supposed to be driven around constantly, either. Your boyfriend/fiancé is a fucking idiot. His Mom can come visit but it is WAY too much hassle to load a newborn up daily for a trip to visit her.
If you're not committed to anyone else right now, why not just ask her what the kissing is all about? You might get an interesting answer.
It’s gotten progressively worse since you met her. It’s not going to get better. Easier to separate now than after a baby.
Unless you have the magical ability to sleep write, I don't believe you.
Open the relationship and go get your own place again, be happy being single and not letting him treat you like that again. He sounds like he has the attitude that no woman can resist him and he has to prove it. I personally would move out and get my own place again and tell him to go be happy
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It just doesn’t make sense. He calls me walking home from work every day and he sees me every weekend
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Lol good on you for being all healthy and adult about your ex. I don’t know that I have that much maturity in me.
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She might turn into a HLF when she finds a new D
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