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He has a severe porn addiction
If you were able to talk about it what would you say? He's shown what kind of person he is so it's not clear why you even want to give him the opportunity to explain his way out of it. You need to decided if you want to stay with this person or train him. If you want to train him can talk about how you thinking it's absolutely unacceptable about what your “friends” bf did and that it was a deal breaker.
It’s possible. I did a lot of research a year ago when my second husband left. But he has to be open to marriage counseling and be willing to give it a try. Mine wasn’t – he wanted a life where he and his spouse worked full time but she did all the work at home without “nagging”. And he knew I wasn’t willing to give him that life.
Adopt the kid yourself. She doesn't want to be a single mom. Coparenting as you suggested is not enough – you wouldn't be there 24/7. And keeping the kid would remind her of an ex she probably hates now
You only have her word on all of this, you haven't see the child. There are women that pretend to be pregnant for many reasons. Don't take anything she says as true until you see it with your own eyes.
All of this could be a story she has made up. Unless you meet the child in person I would doubt everything.
Hell no don't apologize
Ohmigosh I totally forgot to change his age here… he’s 26 going on 27, but he told me he’s 24!!
Ask your current girlfriend to help you redecorate. Apparently that is something your gfs do for you.
Yeah I suggested therapy but she says she doesn’t want to go
Right? He just doesn’t like the ex, doesn’t even seem to care about the obvious trauma his girlfriend has been put through, he wanted to be the first one to traumatize her apparently
I'm sure this is going to be a really unpopular take. But i think it's kinda sweet. Idk, if he was all casual being like “oh yeah I forgot about you again, um I guess I'll order you something now” that'd suck. However if he is a anxious scatter brain like me the thought process would go something like : oh crap I forgot, she'll hate me if I forget, better order something quick and cover my tracks so she doesn't think I'm some idiot who can't remember anything or that I'm some jerk that doesn't care about her. But i may be projecting. I'm just saying you can look at it like “This guys a idiot who can't fathom being wrong so he's doing all this ridiculous lying” or you can look at it like “This guy just put in a lot of effort to make sure I don't think he forgot me”. However i don't know the man so I'm not sure if he is a ass that just can't be wrong or a sweet, forgetful guy who doesn't want you to feel like you were forgotten.
This isn’t a healthy relationship and he’s not the person you fell in love with or want him to be. He’s already shown that he has no interest in counselling for himself or your relationship. He didn’t even care that you were pregnant with his child when he cheated the first time you found out. He’s convinced you he has a porn addiction so that you’re more flexible in staying with him when you find out he’s cheating on you (again). And yeah, you know he’s cheated twice, but you can damn well bet that it’s happened way more than that and you just don’t know about it.
You deserve to be with someone who treats you and your child with love, dignity, and respect. Don’t stay with him. He’s not worth it.
he's stringing you along. cut ties
dating you when you were just old enough for him to legally fuck and he was over 40 is bad. That's called being a predator. Well adjusted 40 year olds don't date people half their age.
Psychological warfare. That's why. Did you end the relationship? Was it her fault? I'm betting, yes. And now she's trying to mental ninja you into coming back.
This. Stop making excuses for yourself. You deliberately chose to cheat and betray your partner – leave it at that and just take responsibility. Be prepared for rebuilding trust to take months or years. Be prepared for the likelihood a condition will be very limited phone or social media privacy – possibly for a very extended time. Prepare for it simply to not work out.
WHAT IN THE FLYING FUCK. There were already so many redflags in this relationship, but this is ENTIRELY something else HOLY SHIT.
Whenever it makes sense to both of you, whenever it makes you happy. I'd count as a third year because you were broken up for 2 months only. Resetting doesn't make much sense to me.
Americans are weird about everything ?
My dude, throwing on some loose pants and a t shirt isnt gonna “change your whole lifestyle”. Disregarding your gf and her parenting preferences actually might though, and it's a pretty easy way to give some respect especially while they both adjust to the new living arrangements.
He says he doesn't want sex from me and we can quit doing that if I want. It's the company and emotional investment he prefers from me I think.
We had similar childhood and interests so we related to a lot of things.
Understandably so my mind would just jump straight to lice risk because I literally had it for 3 years straight as a kid because they kept mutating and now it's just ingrained
Third? Graham has been posting for a decade.
Your gf said she loves you and you feel the same-why are you pushing away love, help and support? She might be EXACTLY what you're needing, in your hours of need. Don't be so proud to try deal with a medical issue on your own. Her being there for you might be just what you need, for you to have something to live! for and heal with.
It's a tough call, but a very personal one. It is the nature of many men to commit to one woman, despite being attracted to many. If you are one of these, but can keep your commitment to her despite the other attractions, it can work. But only if she can accept it. Many women can't.
Like others said, don’t make major decisions yet. Don’t buy things as a “unit”. Don’t get a house or have him co-sign on a car cause your credit sucks or whatever the case may be. It’s too soon to tether yourself to someone. Now, that being said, I told my now girlfriend I loved her after knowing her for about a week. It definitely caught her off guard but idk I went though a lot by myself for a while and was really happy to finally meet someone. It took her a little while longer to reciprocate those feelings but she came around. It’s been five years and right now she’s asleep next to me. People’s experiences are different, people feel different. This is a very hot question because I feel like people have this standard in their mind of what love is and how long it should take to fall in love with someone and they butt in your comment section with their ideas. It’s okay to feel anyway about love for yourself but you can’t down someone for falling in love quickly especially when it’s both people in the couple. So I’m sure most people say it’s too fast but that’s because THEYRE uncomfortable with the idea of falling in love that fast or allowing themselves to be vulnerable that fast. To me personally I don’t see an issue with loving someone quickly. The issue lies in what love makes you do. This person is new in your life but you feel like you love them and that’s okay, but don’t start spending all of your money on them, don’t give them grandpas old ring or whatever sentimental family items you have (for me it’s a very old ring that belonged to my great grandmother). Don’t start paying their bills or buying their groceries. Love them but allow some room for yourself so if you get hurt, at least you don’t get important things stolen or your car impounded. I just realized how long this is I’m so sorry but I’m sending it anyway, I put too much time into this to delete it.
You are about to push her into that guy’s arms.
I think that you should focus instead that she didn’t cheat and that she spoke to you about her feelings in an open way. It’s natural to feel threatened.
You need to talk about what she can do and reiterate that you cannot accept cheating. I think that one of them needs to move job and they need to block each other on social media. Properly block, not pretend block.
Being comfortable with vulnerability is not weakness, but strength. The key is being comfortable, which comes from self-awareness and self-acceptance. If you can love and accept yourself, it doesn’t matter so much what other people think. And it’s sexy as hell.
Don't you think it's time to assert your power and dominance already by all means necessary?
Yeah you’re not being logical love
Dude, shut the fuck up. Don’t idiotsplain relationships to the rest of us regular, well adjusted folks.
No, I don’t think so
I think, taking this comment a step further, people need to not only begin to offer the advice the person is actually asking for instead of leaping to cutting the person out of their lives, but also, realise that it's something 9/10 people don't have the immediate strength or desire to do themselves.
This commentor wouldn't block their own sibling for this, before trying to communicate through it, or cutting the conversation off, or even just slipping into resentment and doing nothing.
Sometimes it's necessary to point out the toxicity of an ongoing situation, and encourage the person to see it for what it is, or even walk away…but healthy people don't leap to cutting ties with someone they love for a first offense, how absurd.
Which part of her entire post leads you to believe that being able to safely express her feelings is reasonable? You’re not looking at the whole picture here, just focusing on one aspect and ignoring the context. The issue is that she didn’t talk about it first it’s that she – obviously with good reason – felt too afraid to do so.
Which part of her entire post leads you to believe that being able to safely express her feelings is reasonable? You’re not looking at the whole picture here, just focusing on one aspect and ignoring the context. The issue is that she didn’t talk about it first it’s that she – obviously with good reason – felt too afraid to do so.
Things like bragging, making mildly insensitive comments, general childishness. Nothing major but enough to make me doubt our compatibility.
That's a tough realization, but the first step to fixing a proven is acceptance.
I've never been in your position so I can't offer any real advice,but I will say this, you can be a good supportive father without being someone's door mat.
That's a tough position to be in, I really wish you the best.
I mean that's just his version of porn, same idea.
Grow up. Seriously. You’re allowed to have the absolutely RIDICULOUS boundary of no porn, and if he doesn’t follow it to end things with him.
But the insecurity? The “imma go fuck a random guy in real life because he looks at girls on a screen.” Etc is childish as all hell.
Even at 25, you’re clearly WAY too young to be in a relationship.
I was going to say something along these lines. It sounds like she was there for you when you were in a tight spot about 4 years ago, and that you may be conflicted as you are asking a bunch of strangers on the web about it.
Having been the “rude asshole” myself, it sounds like she's possibly in a dark place right now. Does this excuse her behavior? Absolutely not. But she needs to be told that her comments are not okay at all. Is she jealous? It's quite possible. Does she want to drag you back down to her level? Again, possibly. Does she NEED a friend that can help her see the error of her ways? I think she does.
I would have one more conversation with her and tell her why her comments were hurtful and not okay at all with you, and if she has any regard for your friendship at all, she needs to apologize and possibly get some counseling of her own.
Friendship requires you to do the hard thing sometimes.
From a guy that has been that asshole and has friends better than he deserves tell him so.
❤