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Just so you know, I read all of it, I listened.
The only thing to do is leave him, and you say you can't do that. If there is any way to then do, but if not then I understand.
So perhaps play the long game
Your kids are getting older. Do you have a “fuck you” bank account yet? As in a bank account he doesn't know about, one you can siphon a bit of money into every month for a few years?
Your target is when your kids are old enough to have left or be leaving for their own lives. You are aiming for enough for a rental deposit, first bills and to set yourself up a little. Much easier when it's just yourself to support. Remember- you will still be young, only in your 40s at the latest. Your eldest is 14 now.
Do you work and have experiences that will mean you can get a job and support yourself a bit when that time comes? If not, these few years need to address that, whether that he courses or whatever.
And moreover, make sure you find things for yourself in those years. It isnt a prison sentence. Your husband, psychologically is a deeply flawed and problematic guy. You need to find joy and fulfillment in the life around him, in things you do if you can
Your update displays denial on your part. If she's said what you claim she has, she has in fact been cruel to you. If we permit poor behavior, we invite it going forward. Good that you got an apology for this, but she's conveying how she views you. Best of luck with all that.