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Jealousy, even in platonic friendships happens. Emotions are so weird. You’re friend is overly attached to you and needs space.
Do you have any single male friends? If so, suggest them to your boyfriend and possibly have a double date so you can feel out the new girl. It can’t hurt to put a face to a name.
As soon as you start cutting down on sex, that's when the issues start to come, you will also struggle to go back to previous levels once you're less busy. You should be happy he's so passionate even after 9 years of marriage. Perhaps start working out a bit when kids are at school – try squeeze it into lunch time so you have more energy
It’s baffling how you were fine dating him for 6 months while he was still living with her but can’t handle them staying friends. I figured that should be an immediate dealbreaker for someone who can’t handle exes as friends. Hell, it would be a dealbreaker for most people that are fine with it as well. It’s up to you if this is something you’re ok with. It’s ok not to be ok with it. You’re the only one that knows if it’s something you can live with. If not, then end things.
You know what you have to do but it it understandably very hard for you to do it. You know that this guy is a POS who you can never trust. You can never have a relationship with him because of that.
I am sorry to hear about your mom 🙁 . My mom got diagnosed with leukemia a few months ago. Shit sucks. Still, this guy is only making you feel worse in general. It is much better to be alone than to be with someone who treats you like shit.
Is he part of the reason you have no local friends anymore?
Seriously, what is your deal? Is it a fetish? I genuinely don't understand why you keep writing this scenario over and over again
Yeah, I think that's the right thing to do. It's what I'd like to think I would do.
I know it’s weird to say but I don’t know my father. I always told myself that if I had kids I’d do whatever I could to be apart of their life and take care of them they way mine didn’t.
It’s a fact. It’s a personality disorder that causes people to have no empathy. I dunno maybe you’re all part of that delusional group that thinks otherwise and doesn’t go by science
No no, it’s real. I will
If my husband's love language wasn't physical touch we'd probably have separate beds tbh, if not separate rooms. We've yet to find a mattress that managed to let both of us be comfortable instead of just giving him all the cushion and leaving me, the smaller of us, sleeping on a veritable rock.
Agree, except, she's paying for everything, he needs to get out, assisted by the police, followed by a restraining order. She shouldn't have to run away and lose everything. But life isn't always fair, is it =/
You’ve been dating a few weeks and you moved in already? That’s red flag number one. I don’t know what to tell you about the trains in your head, but it’s a VERY big red flag that she is telling such big lies to you during this “honeymoon phase”. They were sexually involved, she had very deep feelings for him and was living with him. Doesn’t that describe your relationship?
And why did they break up?
There is a serious reason not to trust her, in fact, I would RUN
Thanks!! I think my wanting to be in a relationship is that I see relationships as a best friend who you get to have sex with and have constant sleepovers with. It’s someone you can build something with and bc I’ve never stayed in one place very long, having a constant person to build a future with is really important to me ?
I would return the ring and tell him I would rather not get married.
Marriage and divorce laws are to put both parties on an even ground when the marriage falls apart. Normally women set their careers aside to raise children. In order for them not to be penalized for both parties having children, all assets acquired during marriage are to be shared.
Don’t marry him. Don’t have children with him. I would move out and find someone that loves you.
I also have more details if things do not make sense or more context is needed
She is 25? I thought she was younger..
She doesn't have TMJ and from my view point of going down on her for hours my face, nose, chin, jaw, teeth are sore af afterwards sometimes till the next day. She has even busted my lips and given me a few nose bleeds several times riding my face.
You're right, it's fixed. Thanks for telling me.
You are being ridiculous and you have unrealistic expectations. If he was watching videos in lieu of spending time and intimacy with you THEN you have a legitimate concern. Everyone man or woman deserves to have their fantasies. Its a human experience. It’s when it actively detracts from the relationship when it becomes a problem. In this case you have let your insecurities get the best of you
My mother does this when she babysits. It's unbelievably frustrating but I'm so grateful for the time off (and the other stuff she does) that I just have to accept that I'm going to lose a certain percentage of my stuff… like a tax. No advice but I do hide things I know are at risk.
So no one is allowed to go out at night because stuff is open during the day? What kind of bullshit logic is that?
I’m not trying to fool anyone, I’m not a teenager so I’m way past that. But as a teen I worked until 9 pm or later sometimes and went out with my friends after. So to make a blanket statement that there is nothing going on after ten is silly and just not true.
He said Vietnamese food. Not ALL Asian food.
“Fundamental values” don’t change overnight no. He saw you were willing to walk away, and is now trying to get you to stay by acting loving. Unless he’s willing to change via self effort as opposed to expecting action from you, nothing’s going to change. At some point the same argument will arise again, and the same issues that people pointed out on your first post will appear. You are better off not staying with this guy.
Are you sure your Mom wanted to know? She may prefer to just turn a blind eye to the situation and remain married. She is an adult and able to chose for herself. If you want her to get a divorce then by all means let her know you support her in this, but beyond that its not your business what she does or does not do about your cheating Dad.
I have but he doesn’t seem interested. I always initiate the cuddling and he doesn’t. He’s content with a single kiss and nothing more as his form of affection. But a month prior it was completely opposite, it’s just confusing.
I'm with someone who genuinely cares about me (28M) and we have had some arguments but we solved them, we were very close to just walking away from each other. I was 100% sure that I didn't want children at all because of the mess that I got myself in and my overall attitude to life.
OP, you're only 24…so it's not surprising that you still might change your opinion on certain things.
Sit your bf down, tell him that you most likely changed your mind and probably want a child further down the road (biological or not). It's important for him to know, since this can also have an impact on how you would handle an accidental pregnancy at this point.
This does nothing to help.
Dating someone doesn’t mean getting involved and then trying to hang on to the relationship at any cost, dating is a period of evaluating someone as a partner. It’s like an interview or an audition before you make a lifetime commitment.
If he’s totally bombing this audition, it’s okay to let him go, truly. You don’t have to tie yourself for a lifetime to someone you’ve discovered that you’re incompatible with.
I don't know why exactly, but this made me laugh out loud. “Suck a cock” as a farewell just cannot end in happily ever after, imo.
You're very young and you moved in together way too early in the relationship. His priority is his parents.
The basis of consent is that “no means no”
You should’ve stopped at one ‘no’ but you forced her into agreement. ‘Consent’ gained under pressure isnt consent.
Now, that’s just basic for any sexual partner but for a sexual assault survivor you stop anything, anything at all at that first ‘no’ as soon as possible and you make sure they’re ok.
I agree she should know. And I agree the scenario you presented is also possible but based off my general life experience and the info given I’m sticking with the scenario that the best friend had feelings till proven otherwise
I also have a Very high body count, but I’ve been sleeping with the same dude and only him for the past year. I have been with many people, but he was only with one person before me, in a long term relationship with a lot of sex, and this is because we both have very high sex drives. Now we have sex at LEAST once a week, toss in a couple drinks and a blunt and we just keep going.
Sex doesn’t get boring unless you let it, and you deserve someone that wants to jump your bones just as much as you wanna jump theirs.
Do you really think this is the only major lie she’s told you?
I can see some people think it's fake but these things do happen and don't always go away (someone I blocked repeatedly in the past found a new way to message me this week, and FWIW our combined age is about 120). Internet porn and fanfic makes people think this stuff is normal. I hope writing it down was the worst of it, I really do.
Oh wow I see that now, I hadn’t considered how the language I had used would give her hope I was only trying to soften the blow. I really struggle with setting firm boundaries and I feel really bad about how my indecisiveness now affects her. Thank you for showing me that.
Exactly that’s what I told him. He said he doesn’t want me to message her as so many people are out to get him and for all he knows it could be a set up to make me think he’s cheating on me. That’s what he said.