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I agree with this. If he knows ahead of time that he's facing some questions when he gets home, he'll have the entire coach ride to figure out a story.
Awesome! There is a double standard when its the woman who is older though. Im enjoying his company so far.
This sounds strangely similar to a r/relationship_advice post a few months ago…
Details were different, where a husband regularly showered his young daughter with him to save time due to the busy schedule between him & his wife. The wife apparently was not comfortable with it at all. Now where the problem occured was she was sexualizing their situation, as the father said he had 0 thoughts of anything besides getting his daughter clean with him while in a hurry. He explained that to her & she was convinced he had ulterior motives.
Well she wound up telling her whole family & portraying him as some incestual pedophile.. They fed into it & shunned him, she threatened to take their daughter away & call the police.. Like the whole story was bizarre; but the bottom line is you both have the rights to set your own boundaries with these sort of things. & as long as you both can respect each other's wishes, there is no right or wrong.
I know she thought I was attracted to some pre nurse because I was staring at her hair (she was very pale with an albino hair color) but we talked about it.
She asked me last time if I liked one of our coworkers, 12 years older than me and a mother of 2, because we both were making jokes about her milk being gone from the fridge after she pumped, yea I know we’re weird, and I “took it too far”.
I remember we both, me even more, that even though we were exclusive with one another and that we do want to see each other as much as possible: we need to respect each others individuality. Then she goes “yea but, do you have the urge to be with each other 24/7 and see one another every minute?!?!” She said it jokingly but there sounds like depth to it.
As far as my friends and family, she was respectful with it. She understood I was more family based while shes really not, but I would encourage her to be more.
You’re living there for a few months. You’re married to this family for a lot longer. Suck it up for now and it’ll go a long way toward family harmony.
Rather push him away than have a sneaky borderline cheater
Thank you so much. I hope he realizes things someday
He knows he can get away with shit like this – she didn’t kick him to the curb when he was flirting and now he’ll get his own way with the cat. OP needs to learn to love herself and not be a doormat
It does change things but I suspect that post would be removed (minors).
And yes, that's definitely not normal behaviour. It's a very hot one though, maybe it's not a homeless type shelter, maybe it's a shelter for people with learning difficulties or something? I don't know. And that's the thing, you didn't even ask for any details so even if you called cps I've no idea what you would say because you have no idea where the kid was sent. It's definitely a conundrum and I honestly have no idea what to suggest without more information.
I asked OpenAI and in it's opinion it's cheating too.
Reach out to a women's shelter for guidance. You are in am abusive relationship. They can help you safely exit it.
You need to leave. This will only get worse. I'm sorry you're going through this but you're kidding yourself if you think he will change. You and your child deserve better than this.
Next time, it won’t be a steak. Why wait?
Well it's tough to balance a wide and gf, what do you expect? I would suggest finding someone who is single.
Why can’t you reach him when he’s that late? Seriously? I have so much else to say but it’s not like when I was your age and no one I know had a cell phone they carried around. Relationships shouldn’t be this very hot at the beginning. Trust me on this. When someone truly loves you and is ready for a relationship they are considerate. No communication and being many hours late is not considerate.
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It's not rape it's sexual assault.
No. This is really weird. Your bf is weird and likely much worse than that. Please, run.
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He was not joking. He already disrespects your boundaries by your own admission. He is telling you he will r*pe you one day when you say no, and he is also telling you he will expect you to feel flattered by him “not being able to control himself”.
Someone is going to respond to this with “thats a lot of speculation wtf”. It is not. I lived thru this exact scenario (“i want you so bad i could rpe you/why are you upset thats a compliment”) with an ex and guess what? One day, he rped me. And expected me to feel flattered.
Get. Out. Now.
You said it was his friend. Hopefully your music isn't as terrible as your creative writing is.
Use your imagination
Why did you even ask for people’s opinion? You seem like you have no desire to listen
That’s not a fair choice for a parent to put on a child.
What I learned in the mandated divorce training class was that conflict between parents is the surest way to fuck up kids.
It does not matter who did what to whom for a kid. Kids need to be able to love both parents and have them both in their lives. Parents who try to interfere with this are bad parents. Full stop.
UpdateMe
Ohhh shoot, I didn’t even see the comments where she says she hasn’t met anyone in his life or been to his house.. holy moly he probably does have a whole other family. There’s definitely something happening here that’s suspicious.
I think the biggest issue here is lack of concern for your boundaries
When I butt heads with my partner, I always ask myself if this is a hill worth dying on then put myself in her shoes and ask the same
Your girlfriend isn’t dumb, she knows Chris is into her. It just sounds like the validation Chris gives her is more important to her than your comfort in the relationship. She either doesn’t think you will actually do anything about it or doesn’t really consider your feelings when you aren’t directly involved in a situation.
If I were you I would tell her you don’t just trust her not to cheat, you trust her to not put you in uncomfortable situations and she’s breaking your trust with Chris
She has already acknowledged she’s in the wrong but again Chris’s feeling’s apparently matter to her more than yours
Well, problem is you’re gonna have to bring it up by mentioning that you betrayed his trust again by snooping through his phone. At some point, I think you have to consider whether you want to continue in a relationship where someone continues to throw your past mistakes in your face. Not excusing what you did, but his actions are not consistent with actually having forgiven you.
What I’m saying is, you don’t really have to bring this up at all. You can just leave.
Now, if this is something you actually want to work through, you probably could start with acknowledging that flirting is not quite the same thing cheating. I mean, to you it may be. To him, I don’t know. But if you’re about to come at him accusing him of “cheating”, I would definitely expect some resistance along those lines, not to mention the only reason you found out about it. So you’re gonna have to acknowledge that you fucked up, but also that it doesn’t excuse his clear wrong-doing and you’re going to have to communicate some firm boundaries with respect to “flirting”, if that hasn’t already been done.
You did a nice thing for your kid, and for the benefit of good co-parenting. There were no boundaries crossed here, I think it was a very mature thing to do.
Your girlfriend is reading too much into it, and I'm always very leery of new partners who seem to think that a good co-parenting relationship needs to suffer for the new relationship.
“You can't buy your mum Xmas presents anymore because new GF doesn't want me to give you money” is NOT a healthy start to a potential step-parent scenario.
It’s very hot, I’ve built my life around her. Seeing her go is killing me. I feel empty. I know it’ll get better, but every minute feels like years ?
Thank you for the advise. Her and I had talked about the future before and were pretty much on the same page, however, not sure what, when, and where things went wrong. I’d like to continue the journey with her but are clueless as to how I may be able to start again…
Break upand don't get back together. Sorry hun. Dating someone based on who you hope that they will be vs who they are is a recipe for disaster. Believe me, I've tried
My question is, if you knew that looking at his laptop was basically the end of the relationship, why even bother looking? You had made your decision before you entered that password that it was over no matter what you found on there. Why not just leave? Why violate his privacy on your way out the door?
I personally despise snooping, but I’m not going to scold you because you already know it was wrong. I just don’t understand why you did it if the contents of the laptop already didn’t matter because you knew there was no trust anymore. It just seems… pointless and silly at that point.
Noooo. I have kids, he does not.
Well as for solving your situation, I think he needs to understand when things don't go well, it's not because of him or that you may want to just be left alone for certain periods of time. That's fine. My wife and I learned to be on our own while still living together.
To maybe give you some freedom, I would try and just focus on building up your savings. Maybe taking courses to break into a better paying career/job. Avoid having kids early on and just work on yourself. Once you have the means to be independent, think naked if this is the kind of guy you want in your life. This will also help you realize that you can have the freedom that you wanted to on-line on your own and have new experiences.
Your youth is something that shouldn't be wasted if this is the kind of stuff you're going to be dealing with. Stop focusing on making others happy and work on your own happiness.
Your “girlfriend” is not poly. That's literally it. Thems the breaks as we say. You need to end this relationship as what you are doing to her is not fair. She loves you and is desperately trying to force herself to be something she isn't to make you happy. Let her go. If you want a poly relationship, stick to poly people.
I've read nipple confusion is actually pretty rare. My baby breastfeeds, takes pumped milk in a bottle, and uses pacifiers. Haven't had any issues, and I don't know many others who have either, a lot actually give bottles as well since a lot of moms work or just want to get out of the house without baby.
I don't see an issue here, as long as baby is doing it for comfort and not actually trying to eat.
Would you be comfortable letting her know that you have been thinking about what she said and agree with her. You can then say you thought about it for awhile and realized it would be more accurate to say you felt like you were fallING in love, and that you hope you had t made her uncomfortable. That y’all can figure it out as you go, and that’s the fun part! See how she responds to that. Keep us updated! Good luck, my friend!!!
This is a tough one. I have had ‘friends’ push my sexual boundaries. I ‘let them down gently’ and put up with them trying to nag or joke a no into a yes.
I guess I did that because – I wanted to believe that my friends were decent people and that all predators are obvious and completely horrible. I didn’t want to believe that someone I thought was my friend just wanted sex with me, no matter how ‘nicely’ and repeatedly I said no.
Ultimately, they just kept pushing until it boiled over. I learned my lesson that someone who tries to turn a no into a yes isn’t a friend and isn’t a good person.
I suspect that your gf has not learned this lesson yet. It’s not a fun or easy lesson. She turned him down and I think that’s what matters here.
Also to add to your question, he won’t apologize because he’s NOT SORRY.
Nope, chlamydia is cureable with a drink.
It's not right, either! And it does you, and all men for that matter, damage. You don't have to put up with it.
Maybe I can even expand the question on how to deal with the whole situation. It’s really hurting my feelings that she moved on in a manner of 2-3 weeks. And that she really doesn’t seem to care about me at all anymore, after 3 years of dating. I was not perfect, mostly to busy and at times even a bit depressed, but I really tried my hardest to make her feel good 🙁
Holy crap! That's horrible! I bet the list had a bunch of ridiculous things on it too.
I don’t think you blind sided her with your question, you asked a question you didn’t want to know the answer to.
I never realised how much of a controlling asshole he actually is… These last few days have been especially very hot. Last night, I took my friend who was visiting me to the airport & he stayed at home with our son for the third time in 11 months. The baby woke up and started crying & he kept calling me all the way back and yelling at me that it’s my fault the baby isn’t sleeping and how I should hurry the fuck up and get back… I have to get an exit plan in place and leave. I can’t raise my boy with a person like this.
Op pls take help asap..don't hide what your husband did..it's rape ig..seek counseling. Pls don't try to have kids in meanwhile