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He can say anything he wants. It means nothing if your words don’t follow it.
And it’s not a double standard to acknowledge that, historically, women have been asked and expected to take on domestic labor far more than men have. So it’s different when a man asks a woman to do his cooking and laundry vs a woman asking a man.
Yep, that is what I was thinking about too… When I cut her out of my life, it will affect especially my mum. Our dad passed away this year and although my parents were divorced, my mum will be sad spending Christmas only with her daughters and now I am thinking to spend Christmas somewhere else. I am tired to be looked down at and not be respected.
She might have insecurities but why take it so far to talk down on somebody like this? Its not a good way to deal with things. I am trying to not take it personally but I am only waking up now and realize how mean she is behaving towards me since years. I am tired of it kind of like a spiritual awakening.
It’s his mom not him
You have to remember that
I recommend that you talk to him about it
Tell him that if he does not go, you will divorce him.
Since that's your mentality anyway, might as well let him know.
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Woman closer to his age are perfectly capable of having children so don't buy into that lie he is trying to sell.
Idk man, reading this subreddit that sounds like a gold mine compared to what people settle for on here.
And a YOU (not you but OP obvi) issue… but no one wants to hear that…
I have absolutely been where you are and I'm so sorry. For me, it was a sign that my depression had decended again, and I was becoming emotional dependent on my boyfriend to regulate me and keep me chipper and distracted. As soon as he left the house I spiralled.
Best thing that helped me was going to University, getting a better job, and seeing my therapist. She helped me realise how co-dependent we had become and helped me learn how to lean into being alone. Exercise also helped me immensely.
You keep saying this but if she’s not worked since you met her, it’s because you told her not to because of your “big salary”. She didn’t have a chance to go to college before you were dating her and now you’re throwing it in her face that she doesn’t work.
Ok then we agree. Of course I can't hold her back and that's not what I'm doing, she is a free person no matter what. I'm just telling her how I makes me feel, and if her relationship with me does not mean more to her than the exploration then it's what she will do.
No idea why you’re downvoted for this
That’s why he lied.
When I mean use I just been for pics, should have been clear on that but I appreciate you advice. I’m just a over thinker and I assume the worst
don't ask us, ask her, and have a sincere conversation.
What’s missing is informed consent.
CONSENT is a Voluntary Agreement made without Coercion, & with Capacity, Full-Knowledge, Understanding, & Autonomy.
What was missing was full knowledge, and understanding.
Trust exercises, in my experience, always start with full knowledge of the details of the exercise, they do not make someone wonder “wtf is going on?”.
So by definition this was not a consensual act, and could be considered a form of abuse. At minimum, manipulation.
Also, tying someone up with duct tape is a horrible, painful thing to do. Especially across the eyes (!!!) and mouth (!). You will hurt them in a bad way. Don’t ever do this. Ever.
There you go. He's told you he's unwilling to work on himself to fix your marriage. The ball's in your court now.
If your concern is about your boyfriend cheating again, yes, being “worried” would be appropriate. This guy is clearly incapable of monogamy and since he's faced no consequences for it he'll almost certainly do it again.
“Can I come to your party or do you prefer I stay home?” If it’s the latter and there’s a bunch of people going then I’d definitely reconsider being in a relationship with this person.
A 21 year old with a 16 year old is somehow okay though?? It's not, I have personal experience.
She knew your intention. You were plan B. If it wasn't for that and everything had been normal she wouldn't have lied about it. The moment someone decides to lie, they realize that things are not ok. Now it's all up to you. But once she lied to you once, how many times has it happened? are you sure you won't do it again? That's the main problem, the lost trust.
About the hand holding, idk it just felt natural. I dont get why it needs to have another meaning.
This couldn’t be farther from the truth. I don’t know if this is rage bait or you’ve spent too much time on Reddit listening to people tell others to get divorced bc their spouse stopped off to get coffee so they must be cheating. Real happy couples, even if stressed do not think about getting divorced.
Thank you, I’ve always identified as trash
Nah, I think she needs to go far away and find someone else (like her own damn self) to find her a place to on-line.
Creeps are creeps. I understand what you’re trying to say but this man very clearly knew he was not supposed to say those things, he did it when she was alone.