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Grey rocking and least time as possible with them. Don’t bother saying anything, they’d probably love that, and it’ll just heat up unnecessary. People like that never change and they love drama.
Also your wife should get therapy to help her if this behaviour is upsetting her. She could develop some techniques to keep a relationship that is based on a respectful distance.
Hon, please leave this guy. He doesn't love you. You are just comfortable and usable.
If he wants to meet, ask him to come to your country.
Also, this age gap and the ages you met at are incredibly inappropriate. Groomer springs to mind, and that's the very best case scenario. The worst case scenario is you will lose your life to him. Please be sensible, listen to the other comments here, DO NOT go to his country to visit him.
In an ideal world, block him, forget about him, and meet someone your own age who's actual local enough to meet in a safe place.
Why is he still your boyfriend?
I unfortunately know too many. This one dude (at the time 22) was on his second marriage and second child, 2 baby mamas. We’re all young and it’s important to not rush into things like this