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Model from: ua
Languages: en,ru
Birth Date: 2002-07-02
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I would tell her anyway honestly. Friend should def know and the secret keeping is not the right way
Sounds like you need to get up there and work on yourself alongside him. Being a male he's always going to lose quicker and build muscle quicker, you're going to have to accept that. My partner and I have lost the same amount of weight, 27kg, he's got maybe 20kg to go and I've got like 60kg until I'm at a healthy weight. His body has lost in a way that it shows, and he's gained muscle that's really well defined and doesn't even need maintenance it feels like. Meanwhile I have to work my ass off to get and keep any muscle I gain, and it feels like I'm always thinking about my weight and he doesn't have to, but the truth is probably closer to I'm worrying myself stupid and he doesn't care about his ha ha. I also took a year off for a break for mental health and regained 10kg thanks to bad choices, still working through those, he gained 2kg in that time it was so frustrating lol. So I know where you're coming from.
What you're doing is unfair and toxic, and you're dragging him down. You have got to stop that you should be encouraging him and cherishing his drive, ambition, and spirit. You cannot allow your insecurities to hold either of you back, bring either of you down, or damage your relationship like this. I think it's probably time for therapy to address these and work your way through them. He's working on himself because YOU inspired him and he wants to be better FOR YOU. His progress isn't going to make him love you less, in fact if you encourage and support him properly it's only going to make his love for you grow. So go say the hugest sorry you've ever mustered, book a GP appt to get on a mental healthcare plan (might be worthwhile adding dietitian and physio/occupational therapy to those as well if you need any of them), and start making little efforts to just show up to train with him. Doing something is better than doing nothing. So take little steps. Showing up is the first one. Show up to cheer him on, do some light stretching that will make you feel good, maybe go for a walk with him and hold his hand. Every little step counts! 🙂
I think your feeling is she emotionally and physically cheated. She isn't a stranger and already knew everything from your wife about your relationship as a married couple.
Honestly it sounds like she's worked on your wife for a very long time.