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1. Your feelings are validated, I am so sorry for what you are experiencing.

   You have two options to solve this: first one is hot, the second is even harder.

   You become objectively better than ex husband's new wife in something: either cooking, sports, dancing, even programming so that your kids will naturally prefer to hang out around with you for one of those categories.

   You leave your family and your kids for good and you move far away, putting yourself first and maybe starting a new family that deserves you.

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2. You need to badly take a step back and consider this relationship, your goals and future – then speak with your partner about this and make sure you're both compatible.

   You've said a bunch of things which are concerning and need to be reviewed:

   We always took things sorta fast, we had “sex” after the 2nd date, I met his parents after the 4th, we went to prom together a month after starting dating, and we went on all sorts of trips together. He proposed this last December on my birthday, and we are getting married next week.

   You can't rewind time, but you can fix what you have. If things are moving too fast, put the brakes on. Don't get married, take your time and actually get used to this person you're with.

   Get to know him well, properly, on-line with him for an extended period and make sure your goals, lifestyles and general outlook work together – because if they don't, this Marriage, much less the relationship, will not work.

   I want to become an art curator and travel the world and run museum to share my love of art and history. I want to experience all of the things other people have done.

   Have you spoken with him about this? Have you considered how marrying him will affect this? Most importantly – why are you comparing yourself to “all the things other people have done”?

   I'd also love to travel the world, on-line out of a backpack and Motorcycle only and be a nomad for a few years however I'm pragmatic and know that isn't realistic for quite a while – it's a “want” not a “need” and something I can work towards.

   If you want all that right now and to do it while young? Well fine, but do you have a plan on how to carry this out? Have you drawn up even a basic plan on how to achieve these things and seen if your partner wants to go with you, do it together? This is a big “together” talk you need to have.

   We have always talked about marriage and having babies, but I know I am not ready for them. Everyone is asking me if I am nervous for the wedding, but I'm not. I'm nervous because I feel as if I am throwing everything that I want to be away.

   First of all – kids and starting a family is something you both need to 100% be on the same floor about. If he wants one and you don't, be clear and fair to him and say you don't want one – whether it's now, or ever, but be fair to everyone and clear on that.

   Secondly – just because you want X, doesn't mean getting married is “throwing your life away” – the whole point of being married and with someone on that relationship level is you both love each other, want to support and be there for each other and that includes your goals and desires for the future. He may well want to go with you, support your career and aspirations, or you may need to compromise so he can have his too (again, relationship: it's two of you, not just one).

   If you aren't compatible and he doesn't want to? Well you desperately need to use your voice and make it clear you aren't OK with how the relationship is going, it's moved too fast and you need to halt things and talk to decide if you can carry on together.

   We moved into an apartment last Summer, and I tried to get us a different one, closer to places that I can thrive in my career, but he said he was going to help but he never did so I was forced to sign the lease for another year. I was heart broken but he didn't understand why I was upset even though I tried to tell him why. He always gets mad over monly and, even though I told him not to complain to me about money because he always makes me feel super anxious to the point of being ill, he disregards my wishes. He never tells me I'm beautiful or smart or anything that other people are told, even though I asked him if he could say it once in a while since ive never really been told that, he tells me that he doesn't like it.

   So the long and short of this is, in closing:

   -You don't like the relationship you're in -You want to do different things, go places and do things

   All you've said, broken down, sounds like you want freedom and are currently “trapped”.

   First of all, sort your relationship out – you aren't “forced” into anything you don't want to be or have a means to not be part of.

   For your relationship, talk to your partner. Establish whether you can continue together and he either gets on board with what you want, or you get off the ride and aren't together any longer. Make it clear this is an ultimatum, not some kind of “feel free to be bothered when you can”.

   For your living arrangement, if things aren't working out and you want to leave? You can speak to the landlord about breaking the lease and discuss what's involved to just have your (ex or otherwise) partner as the sole tenant. This'll probably cost you, but you don't know until you talk about it with them and if you want out, it's your only real option.

   Regarding the rest of your life and aspirations? You do you. But you'll need to think about, plan and ensure your “how to live! my life” objectives can be reached and how to reach those. It will take some real thought, but I have complete confidence that if you're determined, you'll be spinning around the globe and loving it all the way through.

   It sounds like you've had, in a few words a real “rough” life up til now, but you can turn that page and write your story how you want it to be if you want – you clearly have desires and things you want to tick off a list, so get out there and do it. You'll hopefully find someone at some point who wants to either do it with you, or supports and loves you on equal terms to be there when you come back.

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