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infantalizing a 20 year old would be saying she's still a child. she is an adult, but barely. at 20 you're still (sometimes) in college and don't have a set career path, by 26 you can be in college but usually you've already graduated you first years and are moving on or you already have your career path.
the power imbalance from someone fully developed and knows what they're doing and someone who barely an adult and not even old enough to drink yet (depending on country) is there and it's very real. any normal person would agree it's not an okay age gap.
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Think “Is this something my mother would have said or done?” then don’t do it. Stop repeating the cycle.
Get a therapist or if that’s too expensive, even just listen to podcasts or read books about parenting styles and the damage they can do. You have to repair the emotional damage that was done to you and stop it harming your adult relationships.
Please read OP's comments on this post, what I said was not my interpretation but her exact intention as expressed by herself.