I (27m) am getting married this coming December to the love of my life Meera (25f). Meera is Indian and I'm American (it's important you'll know why I mentioned it), there's no doubt that I love this women and can't wait to get married to her, she's kind, outgoing and has an amazing personality and brings out the best in me. I proposed to her in March, she said yes and both of our families are really excited for the wedding, specially her.
Now if you have ever been to a Indian weeding you'll know it's nothing less than a festival, it's not a single day ceremony, they have many pre wedding rituals and celebration like Haldi, mehndi, Sangeet, Pooja etc. Don't even get me started on the number of guests they invite, minimum 600-700 guests. I was once at her cousin's wedding which had over 500 guests, my MIL said “they are having a small weeding, it's quite nice just family and friends” now my dumbass thought she's being sarcastic and I laughed it off saying “yeah there's no way I'm having wedding this small”. Back to the topic, we were with our family and discussing about our wedding who all we gonna invite and as decided between me and Meera we told that we want a intimate wedding, our family agreed saying “yeah I want it to be just friends and family, not more than 700 people” bro 700 f*cking people!!!! I don't think i even know half of 700 people, MIL needs to stop throwing statements so casually lol 😂
I didn't say anything was waiting for Meera to speak but she seems to agree with this, later I asked her why didn't she say anything she says “I thought we agreed on having a small weeding”, I was like “yeah small, this isn't small.” Than she goes like this is small for an Indian wedding we have already got the guest list from 1200 people to only 700 people. On top of this she wants to have the destination wedding at this Rajasthani Palace 'Six sense fort Barwa' where her favourite actor got married, one room here costs upto 1000$ per night and we are planning to have a 5days destination wedding with 700 guests!!! You see why I'm freaking out.
Also she doesn't want a simple wedding, she wants all of it
Sangeet – it's an even where all the family members and friends performance dances for bride and groom
Haldi – it's a ritual where they apply turmaric on bridge and groom
Mehndi- henna artist draw heena on bride and all the ladies, it's not as simple as it sounds she wants everything over the top Satsang- a day to pray to God and sing songs for him
For main wedding she wants something like this
She also wants to add this
Everything is gonna cost over a 500k USD, she comes from a generational wealthy family and her father is paying for most of it. I tried talking to her that this is all fun, we should have it all but atleast cut the guest list to 400 so that the cost doesn't go this high but she's in no mood to compromise as her dad is paying for it and we only marry once. I'm not comfortable with her dad paying so I'm going to repay him eventually. Anyways I think this is too much we should atleast cut the stall and gifts idea. I've already told her, she isn't listening. If she don't compromise atleast a little bit I'm thinking of calling off the wedding.
Tldr; I'm about to tell my fiance that we need compromise on few things in our wedding or it's off.
Edit: I didn't explain clearly why I'm reluctant to all of this. My FIL didn't really like me in the beginning when my fiance introduced us, he thought I'm not fit for his daughter so I'm not really comfortable with him paying for the wedding and want to eventually pay back.