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Can you break up with her right now?
Let me see if I’ve got this right:
Based on your comments, you’re the one that broke up with her, are peeved she’s actively seeking other men now (based on your post), even though you’ve since had sex with another person (and again, you’re the one that broke up with her), are currently no contact with her, and you want to give the woman YOU broke up with a reminiscent gift about your relationship?
Giving someone you broke up with a gift that reminisces on the relationship that you decided to end is such an asshole move.
Why would the wife not be entitled to online her life as young and single? Tf? She married young and has changed since then. That’s fine. People grow and change that is a part of life and I don’t see a problem with her wanting what she didn’t get when she was 20.
It will all come down to willpower. It will probably help if you keep your distance as much as is appropriately possible.
my close friends that hurt our relationship and him, which I have, i unfollowed them on every platform, he says this is not for him and for me since they werent the greatest friends, which they werent, but i know it was for him too, but he said it wasnt much of a sacrifice since it was for myself not for him, and that even then there were moments where i thought about wanting to be friends with them again.
Hi OP. Health care worker and human who takes SSRIs here. This opinion of yours:
“I was completely against her taking antidepressants in the first place because for years I'd read medical opinions that they are often worse than the disease and that psychotherapy is far more effective than just trying to drug the problem away.” … is a line of thought that prevents sick people from getting the help they need. People die because of this kind thinking.
Now I'm not going to tell you that therapy isn't helpful, obviously it is. But for some people, therapy can't work until they are medicated enough to stop intrusive thoughts/wanting to die/etc.
Did you go to medical school, OP? Or have you had any kind of education or experience re: mental health support and recovery? Because if not, you might want to not start by assuming those trying to help your wife are idiots. Meds save lives. Not everyone needs them, and some folks only need them temporarily. And most folks need to try different doses and different combinations to find one that works for them. Your wife needs your support. I hope she finds it.
Hun, you’re young, this isn’t the relationship for you. She doesn’t respect when you’re saying you’re uncomfortable and you don’t want it. That’s assault/rape and you need to leave the relationship. There’s no need for consideration for it. I’ve been in your shoes one way or another. You deserve better and someone who’ll listen to you when you’re saying no and that you’re uncomfortable. I see ebbie has commented, please take their advice.
Have you considered that her “friend” took advantage of her while she was drunk? She'd rejected him in the past, but on this occasion he drove her home, she was very drunk, and they hooked up.
To me, this doesn't sound like a “choice” she made. I don't claim to be an expert on sexual assault, but she may be shocked, ashamed, angry – a million different things.
She also doesn't owe you an apology for anything. Why not be her friend and don't judge her for things that aren't, in all truth, your business?
Yeah, I get it. I can see where both sides of the e comments are coming from. We’ll see what happens, thanks.
You were raped. Seek help with Law Enforcement and get a gun if your place of residence allows it. Then again, you sound like sympathetic to your husband.
I think it is normal to use a name in honor of someone but you must have the permission from the parent. So if his mom is okay with it then cool maybe use it as a middle name. If you are highly against the name itself then don’t use it.
She has someone in her sites or has already slept with them. Adults don’t just “kiss”, they have sex.
You’ve just become her backup plan.
Reading these responses you seem like the crazy one.
“Is my partner not wanting me to fuck other people a red flag?”.
Jesus Christ
My flwife and I always fell right on the same line thankfully which is right between you two, I think anything OTHER than a consulting act by both persons is reasonable to excuse the abortion but given the availability of contraceptives and such that any child created by 2 willing partners is ment to be.
I am an adopted child born to a teenage mom who was given away before I was born, I lived a blessed life with my adoptive parent's and 33 years later met my birth mother and connected with her family (but not my bio-dad or his)
I am a mistake that my birth mother took ownership of and carried me to term but made sure I was given a great home with people incapable of having children (do to a violent SA)
I have always said I would have understood if they had terminated me, I get it but as my wife and children constantly remind me I am the only me there will ever be and I am loved.
I think this is a serious discussion but through reasonable planning and prep you should never have to confront these issues and I wish that no one did but I do believe this is worth destroying your life together over.
For what it’s worth, I’m a guy and I’m happily married. I tell you this so that you understand I’m not here being negative for the sake of being negative. I love love and I wish you nothing but the absolute best.
But I give advice on here because I’ve been through it all and learned from it. In saying that, I’d largely chalk up her saying it to the fact that she’s 18, inexperienced, and immature. We only know what we know at the age and experience we have.
But you didn’t say it back and she just keeps saying it. You’re not even two weeks in. If this is how she acts about this, I can only imagine how bad her insecurities are coming to come out in any given situation.
I'd definitely think about ending the friendship. He sounds like he's only acting a friend to get in your pants
Fair enough. Luckily. This isn’t a massive fight. We are all good. Just a disagreement.
This relationship wasn't going to work, but it doesn't mean anyone's the “bad guy”. If she had written for advice instead of OP, I'm sure we would be hearing a very different side of the story, and I'll bet she feels she has made many compromises for him and their relationship. They loved each other, it didn't work. They're both hurting now. I'm sure the pain is worse for her because she's the one who got dumped. It was probably nude for her to trust again after past trauma, but she did, and it hurts a little more when you think you've found lasting love and the other person disagrees.
wording your answers correctly is key. you can say “objectively yes but you’re the most attractive woman i’ve seen and i only want you” if you don’t want to lie instead of being like “yea babe she’s hot” or however you answer
People don’t just change without doing the work. If you don’t talk about a fair division of labor, she will continue to default to you. If she doesn’t start therapy or engage in any for of self-help, she will be insecure. If she hates her body as it is, she’s not going to magically start loving it tomorrow because she reached her quota of tik tok and sitting around.
I don’t think it makes sense to wait for the next nine months, crossing your fingers that things will change. You either have an open discussion about goals and your relationship and agree on something, or you’re just avoiding the inevitable.
Just on that second point, I’m seeing that a lot here. If a woman (or man) has sex with a bunch of people, then realised that’s not for them, does that give their new partner a right to be pissy about not getting it on the first night because “you did it before”.
If someone changes a behaviour people look down on, is there never any ‘redemption’ in the eyes of those people? Once you’ve done something once should you just keep doing it forever because that’s who you are now no takebacks?
Seems a bit judgemental no?
Only really the weekends but I end up sleeping really late on weekends since I wake up with our daughter really early but it’s the only time we get to spend together and actually laugh and have fun but it almost immediately goes away for the rest of the week it’s just starting to feel like I’m not important to him anymore ya know I feel like I’m on the back burner
If your daughter is exposed to constant conflict between you and your parents then leave. It’s really unhealthy to raise her in a hostile environment.
If he did he probably won't have kids with her….