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As a bisexual guy I can safely tell you women get very insecure about sexual history and will dunno you for it. Don't believe all these holier than though comments.
I hope you men are comprehending this…you can go on dates and as long as you're not in a “official relationship” you can still have sex with whoever and it's not cheating ??
I'm sorry you were cheated on, but it is concerning that you're happy that her dad died. Karma for your cheating ex would be her getting cheated on/screwed over, or scammed or even (to an extreme extent) visible scarring/breaking an arm. Not the death of her father who had nothing to do with your relationship.
You're probably happy that she's feeling shit, but I don't think it's the time for being happy about it.
I hope you can heal.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. What kinds of things are you bickering about so frequently?
I also came here to say, oh honey..
I will only say this phrase moving forward. I intend to use it as much as possible at work tomorrow and see if anyone is game enough to try and correct me haha
Even if that was what he was trying to say. I don’t understand why that matters for Halloween.
And because someone tells me that god is real I should believe them without ever seeking proof of said claims
No he never agreed to that. He’s said he’d work on it though. And he admits constantly that he knows he can work on his temper and getting triggered. But he says it’s because he holds in so much over time and doesn’t say what’s bothering him until he randomly will explode on me over what seems like the smallest thing.
If it's was me I'll let him go and by the time he walk away , I'm single. If he doesn't respect me so I won't force him to. Better hurt now than later. I will not like the one I love hurting by what I'm doing, if he doing it he doesn't love you enough. And you deserve so much better than that.
You move on… she's already in a relationship, and she blocked you.
“she told me that since l'm not going to date her friend then she probably shouldn't talk to me”
It also sounds like she was being nice to you in an effort to set you up with her friend, not because she herself was interested in you? Should be pretty obvious from that comment.
Even if she really was flirting with you, do you really want to be with a girl who will flirt with other guys while she's in a relationship? Sounds like a red-flag to me…
I think – a personal flaw – I was nosey. I don’t have doubts in his loyalty. But why would he hide this? He also used highly vulgar language about other stuff. Is this gaming culture?
Sounds like you might be from the Midwest.
If this is uncommon or out of character then I’d suggest having some grace and understanding for him.
He was on his way to his Grandads funeral the morning after his sister had a medical emergency and was rushed to hospital, leaving him with minimal sleep. The kids were being annoying and you were being snappy instead of empathetic about how he was feeling.
He’s human, he had a moment.
You are not mature enough to be in a relationship. I really feel for your gf, you are destroying her self esteem, she is taking the blame for your issues.
They will not be able to medically transition if the reason is that they think their boyfriend is straight. Trained medical professionals have diagnosed them with gender dysphoria.
True I understand that. Thanks. Sometimes I felt it was for heard to avoid a conversation and definitely know it was to hide her drinking and being intoxicated..I wasn't calling tho to get tabs on that.. She's bad with her phone in general and we always just text.. it was something we agreed to do and she just can't..even if it's for 2 mib
Plus texts get mis read more
From experience being your boyfriend..his hesitation is becuase he doesn't feel you are the right one but is afraid to break up.
Let her go man. If she loved you she’d never have cheated.
You don’t have to feel ashamed for wanting to try though , you have every right to feel that way. You still love the version of her that you thought she was. It’s hot to wrap your brain around the truth sometimes.
If you do decide to go against advice and try to make it work. She starts and sticks with both therapy AND some sort of program or meeting for alcoholics (like AA or something) for MANY months before you take her back and a good year or more before you move back in. And at least two years or on recommendation from her therapist before you even think about trying for another baby.
Regardless of whether you give her a chance or splits – I also strongly recommend therapy for you cuz that’s traumatizing. And there’s support groups for loved ones of alcoholics too , I’m just not sure what it’s called – your local AA might know.
He sounds really depressed. If he won’t get help, there’s not much you can do.
If I were in your shoes, I’d probably say something like “babe, I love you and want you to be healthy and happy. When you stay up all night and are crabby, when you eat bad foods, when you complain about life, I feel frustrated because I want to help but I can’t. And I feel frustrated also because of the mental load it puts on me. Moving forward, I need to see you taking concrete action towards helping yourself—see a doctor and therapist and make some progress—else I need to reevaluate this relationship for my own mental health.”
The purpose of dating is to see if it’s a good fit. He’s a 30YO adult and he lives with his mom and is depressed and doing nothing about it. He’s gained a lot of weight. He may be a good guy but he’s not in a position to be a good partner at this time.
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Spam a lam a dick asshole troll.
Ahhh what? Because that's going to make all the issues disappear? Op didn't say providing for the family was the issue.
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I wouldn't. She will feel a bit invaded. You can talk about what you lie, if she shares, great, if not maybe that just for her. I'd say no.
I think that’s where I went wrong but I was 24 and just had no idea. I’m nearly 27 now. I still am Niave but I have learnt a lot.
Drop. Her. It’s that simple.
I've been there, girlfriend. My parents hated my husband because he wasn't a tradesmen, didn't drink, didn't party, didn't do sports, etc. He was a big ole nerd, but so am I.
We've been together for 15 years. They didn't accept him until our wedding 4 years ago. I made it clear that if they made me choose, they would lose. I don't bend to dictators who they controlling my life, and neither should you.
If this guy is a good man and has truly changed, then it's up to you to decide if you want to take a chance on him. Have a secret relationship, if you're scared of them disowning you. And if they disown you because you've made a decision AS AN ADULT and have proven you won't be controlled by them, then do you actually want those people in your life?
How long have you two been together?
If it has only been a few months, she might not be at the phase to say it yet. Of course saying some words isn't hot, but if she doesn't feel it, then they are just empty words and of no meaning.
If you have been together for longer, then look at how things were before. Has the amount of her saying it lessened over time? If yes, then she might indeed slowly check out of the relationship and a breakup might be in your future.
But if this is how she has always been, then you can probably take her statement at face value. In this case, you need to evaluate if your needs are met. Does she show her love in other ways, if she has a different love language? There are five love languages (Basically gift-giving, words of affirmation/compliments, physical touch, quality time and acts of service (for example cooking for you, driving to pick you up so that you don't have to take public transport, things like that)). She might show her love in a different way. If that's the case, you two need to sit down and see if you can reach a compromise.
Some love languages make some people uncomfortable – for example, not everyone is hugely into physical touch and wants to be hugged all the time. Others have trouble with gifts because recieving them makes them feel like gold diggers or feel like they 'owe' the partner now. And there are people who don't like saying “I love you”. These people could be people who didn't have positive experiences after saying it – after all, it means being vulnerable. Be it a bad ex-partner or parents who wouldn't respond positively to such statements – there are many reasons why someone might shy away from saying it based on trauma. Or maybe they just don't like hearing it themselves and so, they also don't like saying it. It's like a compliment and not everyone is great with accepting compliments, especially if they have low self-esteem.
Your a sweet heart thank you
“First one is free” She's more likely to be a dealer than an affair partner.
If he was cheating on you he would have hid the cookie.
6 months before we got married.
No is not
It's certainly not nothing.
A person with a poor work ethic is not only an unreliable provider, they are an unreliable partner. They put their own wants/comfort over the needs of the family. Imagine having a couple of kids and relying on this person to support you and them.
If he's willing to think seriously about the implications of his behavior and make constructive changes, then there's a chance you could make it work. Otherwise, you are wasting your time.
Exactly. She is really not taking responsibility. She was cruel and abusive. I hope he has gotten some self esteem back and tells her absolutely not. She shows her true colors as abusive and cruel. She doesn’t deserve him back at all. If they get back to together she will revert back to her true personality. Good people don’t all of a sudden change and treat their loved ones like dirt. She thought she was better then him and treated him as dirt.
Op referencing one specific reason her parents didn’t want them together is meaningless?
OP also needs to remind wife that while he might have a particular set of skills, the skills are likely not going to help in a worst case scenario
‘Anything other than essentials are not really feasible’ therefore if that’s the case this item isn’t feasible.
Tell him to mind his own damn business about what pets you have in your home.
Yeah so i think the problem here is that your boyfriend is awful.
He also wouldn't have been chatting to a 16 year old at 24.
Get help.
Number four, JFC.
Imagine sharing your experience and trauma with your partner, and THIS is how he responds.
Do you think it's too late to do that? I'm sure they'll come do a report or something, but would there actually be any action taken? I'm also afraid that doing something like that is going to polarize her against her mom and me. My main goal is to keep her safe, and if she takes off with this guy, there's nothing I can do to protect her.
Lash out all you want, the Redditor spoke nothing but truth and was not rude
Make sure you have been clear and that he knows all the reasons you broke up, so he can process it all. Other than that, all he needs is time to get over it so don’t contact him or respond.
You’re 18 yo. Your gf is 18 yo. And you have a mother in law? Explain.
She either likes someone already, and wants a few weeks to screw around while you’re her backup plan, or she wants to go out and have single girl fun with random people while keeping you around as a backup plan. And she wants to be able to say “we were on a break!” If you find out.
No thanks – relationships need to be all in, not one foot out the door.
You should go to therapy about your social anxiety. Anxiety is 10000% something you can definitely overcome, it's not a mental illness that's necessarily caused by chemical imbalances. So please, you owe it to yourself to on-line a normal life, especially at your age. You need occupational therapy, it's great for anxiety-ridden people.
Don't treat the symptoms, treat the cause. I'm type 1 bipolar, was diagnosed at 10. With that said, I've had 2 decades worth of figuring it out. Anxiety comes with that territory. But I no longer allow it to control my everyday life. It's not fair to suppress your partner's lifestyle and disable her from a fulfilling life just because you hate people, which is 10000% treatable. Take accountability and control over your life. Or let your partner be with someone who can match her energy.
And honestly, her getting you out of your comfort zone is one of the best ways to overcome your disability. Ask yourself why does being around large crowds give you anxiety? Once you've figured it out, fix it. This isn't healthy.
pH balance is the amount of acidity in our blood, but in this case, we’re referring to the vagina. It just keeps our bodies functioning. If there’s something off with it, it could mean there’s something wrong in the body. There’s a certain level of acidity that should be in woman’s pH balance.
The scent might be stronger because her period might be coming. The acidity increases before a period starts. As long as her balance isn’t too high and she doesn’t have any infections, that’s probably just the way her coochie smells. ??
Have you considered speaking to your partner about it? You should be able to do that.
Grey rock method is perfect for narcs. This very likely won't be his last attempt at contact so stay strong. Remember that you deserve better. You really do! Focus on healing. Be comfortable with being alone. I promise you it's gets easier. Lean on friends and family for support.
text her
But can't you also see that I try to adjust my boobs in the clip? I try to make sure that they don't touch him too much. I'm not trying to brag or anything, but I do have quite large boobs so it's hot for me to avoid touching him with them when we get close like that. I think I should explain this to him
Tell her because holding a secret like that can weigh on someone. Tbh I think it’s great that it doesn’t bother you, but I’d still be a little concerned about the fact that she’s kept it from you for so long.
I mean… maybe you are? Has he ever mentioned that? Ever communicated a concern? Ever raised it as a problem?
Or does he just suddenly ghost, for weeks or months, then walk back in and basically resume.
Like if he found you that objectionable why keep coming back, getting you started again, then walking away? Where is the kindness in that even if you are were 'clingy'. And I wonder, were you 'clingy' before or after he started this pattern or abandonment.
I do think this is a sign you need to reflect on where you are at, though. After all, you let him back in. That isn't good either. You should be looking out for yourself and you should already know that he can't offer you the stability you need. If you are indeed clingy then he will only make it worse.
I’m just going to be honest here, I read he cheated and then you wrote he was the perfect guy and I noped out. A perfect man does not exist but some come damn close, but those that come close never cheat, this pile of garbage should be put on the curb with the rest and sent to the dump.
zoloft may have saved my life from postpartum depression, anxiety and ocd. I’ve been on and off it for years now and it works amazing for me. everyone is different.
now you know its missing one. monitor it & if more gone missing then start checking his phone.
so many postings proven that missing condoms is where cheatings have occurred, at home.
I dont think you need to break up after reading this, I think you have therapy grade commitment issues.
exactly, thank you so much!
Getting rid of the so called best friend is a minimum at this point
Boyfriend of 1…month?
That’s barely a fling, of course you should break up if you decide to move to the complete opposite side of the country
If she doesn't love you now, she probably never will; at least not in any meaningful romantic way. She likes your stability and the way you treat her like a princess, sure. But there's no spark, no passion. Yes, you can continue this relationship and she can convince herself that you're a good match. But love shouldn't be something a person needs to coach themselves into feeling. Love should not be forced. And if she has to force herself to love you because you seem like a good match then you have to ask yourself if that's truly a relationship at all? And are you comfortable being with someone who likes you as part of an arrangement rather than someone who loves you from the heart? Love should be equal, between both partners. Right now there is no equal love, just you doting on her and her trying to come to terms with you like it's an arranged marriage.
But let's say this does go on. What happens if years go by and she still doesn't love you? What kind of future does that really mean? And what happens when she meets someone who does make her feel a spark of love? What happens when she meets someone who she does feel passionate about and falls in love with?
At the end of the day you should both be with someone you are compatible with, not just on paper but in practice. If one of you does not love the other, that's one hell of an incompatibility.
Controlling. Insecure, Petty, his friends are against you… It's like dating a teenager, but a type that doesn't exist anymore. I bet any teenagers that read this, cringe. He's REALLY Pathetic. That's the best description for a grown man like that. Coming from a peer, you can only see it as Pathetic. Don't put yourself or your kid through this. It isn't going to change and it isn't worth it OP. Good Luck?