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No, no, no… Don't ask anyone. Don't even approach the subject. That will just make things all the more awkward, and OP might get totally uninvited. OP needs to let this go. The wedding is not about them.
Yeah I agree with him actually, that person is not your friend. I assume you were with your boyfriend when it happened so he was the one who supported you through it and helped you move past it no? I would feel it would be a spit in the face after everything for you to go back to those who hurt you and disregard the concerns he has. I could understand him not wanting to be apart of that again, having to support you again and having to seem them inevitable hurt you again.
I am going to suggest talking to a therapist about it, or suggesting your GF discusses it with therapy. I have an anxiety disorder and I tend to stick my hand in the sans for a bit (I.e., disappear) before I re-emerge, and it is more intense in romantic relationships. As such,my view is that this could be a stress response on your GFs part.
It is normal and important to disagree in a relationship; the issue is how the disagreements are handled Are you able to hold and comfort her without giving in or talking about things in a calmer manner? There are a lot ways to deal with it. For example, you could say “We disagree. How about we talk about it when we are in a better place to discuss it.”