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Thank you! I know several women who carried htheir “oops” baby to term even though they have no real plan for how this is going to negatively effect the kiddo especially since dad isn’t in the picture at all. Can’t work bc they need childcare. State will pay for childcare but only if you’re actively looking for work. Work too much and you lose childcare and all of the other benefits, even if you’re still below the poverty line. I don’t understand anyone who would choose to have a baby without a plan in place (whether that’s a partner, family set to help, large savings, whatever). They’re killin themselves to keep everything going and their kids aren’t doing as well as they think bc they can’t get what they need. If they’d had an abortion or given the child up for adoption they’d be in much better situations right now. Instead they’re barely keeping their heads above water and many are having to couch surf or on-line for free w friends.
I understand the desire to be a mother. I wasn’t supposed to be able to have kids, but I knew that if I got knocked up when I wasn’t ready and able to care for another human being, I’d have had an abortion. Once I got married, 6 weeks later my husband was telling me I was pregnant. He was right(I was 2 weeks along!). Let me tell you, I had a perfect pregnancy but my body didn’t recover. I’m so physically broken bc of the havoc pregnancy wrought on my meat suit. I dealt w severe postpartum depression for 2 years and I had to have a total hysterectomy. Me. The woman who wanted at least 3 kids. My uterus was ruined bc the c-section scar took over. I had my miracle baby and it nearly killed me mentally and physically (so much else has happened to me). That’s all while having an amazing, supportive husband and not having to work outside the house. The idea of having to go through all of that alone, but w a baby is terrifying.
Think it through OP. Please. Will you be ok on your own? I doubt he’ll want to be on the birth certificate… you’re bringing another life into the world… will you be able to give it the life it deserves or will things get ugly quick? Adoption is an option, sometimes direct adoptions happen, if you can’t bring yourself to have an abortion. Your also allowed to say you want it to be open so that you can keep in touch if you really wanted to