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You say you're trying to have a child. If he can't run the business by himself one day a month, how is he going to manage the days you have to take off for prenatal care? What if you have issues with the pregnancy and are ordered to go on be rest? What about the postpartum recovery? Will he expect you to work when the child is sick (which will be often)? Have you all discussed that? Are you planning to take the baby to daycare or keep the baby with you while you try to work? Are you going to breast feed? You two really need to have a conversation about these things.
You also get 6 weeks off with pay, paid as temporary disability. When that runs out, you get an additional 6 weeks through FMLA (which is unpaid).
He’s letting you know he doesn’t feel like he’s growing into the relationship, and won’t put in the same level of effort and attention as you. It’s maybe he feels guilty about it or emotionally unavailable.
I’m give you that. Lol
He deserves nothing, and you owe him nothing. If you are not ready, then you are not ready, and that's ok!! Therapy for you may be needed, if you are not already in it. Healing from trauma like yours can take a long long time (for some). Only you get to decide when you're ready to be intimate. I would suggest therapy if you have not tried. Telling your b/f no, is ok. Him forcing anything physical without consent is not. Good luck to you!
You should just end that relationship with her. There's no point in trying to work things out no matter how good it may seam just walk away. She stopped talking to you like you said you don't have conversations till 3am anymore so she is using that time with her ex in bed not sleeping. You said she's on Snapchat sending pictures of her smiling happy excited meaning you are not on her mind someone else's she's imagining what they're going to do later that night. So just walk away the relationship is over for now. No later down the line and later that year who knows how long she may hit you back up if that happens just use it again laid if you want it's your choice but don't get back with her cuz it will happen again.
Then get me another one. At least he doesn’t insult me and decide that I deserve to be criticized and judged without empathy. Try telling your own therapist how you’ve been talking to me live! and I can guarantee they will tell you that YOUR behavior is more inappropriate and disrespectful.
Update?
He didn't say that. Does no one know how to speak? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. People on this platform don't even respond like normal humans do in real life. This was a nuanced comment that was made and I just cant see how a normal person wouldn't understand what he acutally meant. How does intent not matter? Jesus this makes me happy to be in a solid relationship.
You’re a liar and this is either a trash post or you’re a trash dad. Even my crappy alcoholic father had contact during the divorce because he wanted to see his children. My divorce was messy and they threw stones and they used us as tools (dad mostly.) But man, my dad still did visitation and he still called and he still did holidays and birthdays. But the lawyers said? Nah, you suck.
Yeah appearance only goes so far.
My wife and I both could do a lot better and I have dreams of a personal trainer once it makes sense financially but… while attraction was a huge part of me falling for my wife it isn't the sole element that keeps us together.
I worry more about my health and hers, less about physical looks than anything else. Nobody is perfect, a new person will also have their own set of flaws and you might be trading a kind and caring soul for a horrible bitch with a great body.
To me, marriage was a decision to stick it out no matter what. I choose my wife and I keep choosing her no matter what, no matter how frustrating life can be. She does the same for me. We give each other room to make the kind of mistakes that aren't deal-breakers.
But to each their own! I'll just say good luck finding a loving long term partner if looks are all that matter. Beauty fades in time for all of us
no point fighting to stay together if your fighting alone!
I hope you can build on those years of loving and turn it into a solid safe place for honesty and support. For each other and for your children. She’s made a late realization, and that stinks on one level but it doesn’t mean y’all hating each other is the only option. Find that common ground, support each other, and live! a life that will be fulfilling. It’s gonna suck for a while, and it hurts, but accepting each other’s authentic self is part of loving. I’m sending you gentle hugs.
This doesn’t sound like you’re giving the whole picture. If you want her never had any fights or arguments why would you then make a joke about her giving you evil eyes when she’s upset at you? That means there have been times in your relationship where she was dissatisfied with something. And more than likely that comment and you taking her anger so light heartedly probably was the final straw that made her peace out. If you are genuinely uncertain of what the issue is I bet if you actually reviewed your relationship, you would find out that there was plenty leading up to her walking away from you all along. That joke was not the first offense.
Nah I was referring to him not spelling out the likely reason for her acting like this: two timing him with a coworker, because he might come off paranoid here. But yes, you're right about the second half. I'd do EXACTLY that. If I'm suspicious, I'll just throw that question a bit relaxedly, as if just trying to understand the reasoning that's all.
Nah I was referring to him not spelling out the likely reason for her acting like this: two timing him with a coworker, because he might come off paranoid here. But yes, you're right about the second half. I'd do EXACTLY that. If I'm suspicious, I'll just throw that question a bit relaxedly, as if just trying to understand the reasoning that's all.
Nah I was referring to him not spelling out the likely reason for her acting like this: two timing him with a coworker, because he might come off paranoid here. But yes, you're right about the second half. I'd do EXACTLY that. If I'm suspicious, I'll just throw that question a bit relaxedly, as if just trying to understand the reasoning that's all.
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Graduating high school is very important, so please don’t drop out just to go. If your home life is really bad (as you didn’t provide any details) don’t just drop out. See if you can transfer, get your GED, or something. While this opportunity might seam perfect, don’t burn bridges either as you can get stuck in a worse situation than your currently in.
“Not all families are the same. My family doesn't do all the celebrating that yours does. Furthermore, my job does not allow me to take that much time off. Neither of our families are wrong in how we celebrate. Just different. I can completely understand if you go without me. I'll go when I can but I need you to be understanding when I need to pass on some of these trips and I'll offer you the same courtesy when it comes to you attending my family celebrations.”
You broke your cultures customs but you shouldn't suffer the consequences? Instead an innocent child should? Wow. Don't blame your background. Blame yourself.
Could they have snooped around when feeding the cats and found something that indicates a deadish bedroom?
It's more fun than you realise ?
You’re both adults. A lot of good relationships that started as friendships tend to last. Shoot your shot, just go in with no expectations.
That's a break up. After 3 years they need a little break maybe but 4 months? No he just wants to see who else he can get
Yep. This is what you should do.
but if he’s already abusive it could be over something else.
We don't know this though at all, she said she felt safe every other time. This is just reddit being reddit… again.
Leave his ass and get yourself a guy who can support you during your nude times (or just stay single and marry yourself). Pamper yourself with a warm bath and all your favourite snacks. I wish you the best darling
Have you asked him?
How do you handle your grief regarding your first wife's death? This may be a big factor in her decision. Also, laziness is a bigger deal than you brush it off as.
It sounds like she wants to break up but doesn’t have the guts to do it. So, she’s put the burden on your shoulders by telling you that you can “move on”. It’s a cowardly and cruel thing to do to someone…to leave you hanging and confused. You deserve to be treated better than this. People who are empathetic and love you don’t do this to you. Try to get out of your head . Focus on yourself, your friends, meeting new people and doing things you enjoy.
We had to reschedule, but have talked since and I’m getting the sense she wasn’t really interested. As a last resort I’m debating making a “joking” remark about how I thought she was dropping a hint by bringing up her open relationship.
Supposed to be “relationship advice” … but some people just like to attack others with absolutes… It should be called “Listen to MakesInfantileJokes or Feel the judgement!”
Off the bat, we can’t logically sit here and suggest you’re unreasonable for being upset that he has a friend who’s misogynistic and racist. In saying that, this isn’t a situation where as a partner you’re insecure about a friend where it’s realistically for no reason. This is a situation where you don’t like a friend because he’s objectively an awful person. So no issue with that.
What dangerous shit does he get caught up in that impacts your boyfriend?
Why does your husband feel like he gets to control your friendships?
how long have you been working on it ?
Will you find yourself attractive if you gain loads of weight?
ngl if you've been with her for 5 years why can't you talk to her about it?
This isn’t a love triangle. This is a girl cheating on her girlfriend with you.
You’re actively helping someone cheat on their partner with yourself. Says a lot about the both of you.
Can someone repost OP’s text? In my app it’s just a bunch of red flag emojis.
I assume he married someone so they could get citizenship? But didn’t realise that if they get divorced he is financially responsible for them for years after? I can understand why, if that’s the case, that this would be an issue for you, especially if there was never any romantic reasoning for doing it and he didn’t properly look into the consequences. It shows a lack of foresight and preparedness.
I agree but if you are imagining that the person you are watching,and imagine that you are having sex with that person I think it is a form of cheating especially when you can’t perform in bed with me…idk tho
It would be a betrayal to me, when we first started seeing each other, well over two decades ago, I told him what would be deal breakers for me – if he wanted out of the relationship because he no longer wanted to be with me I wouldn't like it but would accept it and the relationship would end on a civil note- but if he cheated on me first I'd take him to the cleaners. If he wanted a tattoo or a beard, they would be deal breakers, if he hit me, also a deal breaker, joining any right-wing organisation another deal breaker. Those were the terms for the relationship set out right at the beginning.
He had things that were deal breakers for him among them- that I'd never ask him to leave the army until his 22 years service were complete, that I wouldn't attempt to 'parent' his children from a previous relationship and that I wouldn't dye my hair turquoise.
I've stuck to my side of the T&Cs I expect him to also stick with them.
End the friendship, that woman is not a true friend.
that’s kind of what i’m thinking. im aware that i’m in the wrong for looking through his phone. it’s a massive invasion of privacy and tbh idk what i was thinking
Ask yourself if you're trying to buy your gf's love. You're living beyond your means to make her happy, and even when she tells you that it's ok to spend less on her you don't believe her. You even acknowledge that you're throwing away your future to do this.
Remember that you can always rehome a pet. Tell her that you simply can't afford to take care of it anymore and offer her to take it, otherwise start looking for a good home for it. Let her know how seriously in debt you are and stop going on expensive dinners, outings, and trips. Learn to cook her favorite meal, enjoy time at home with her, visit a local museum, etc. Don't be afraid that she'll leave you if you stop paying for everything. If she does, she didn't love you anyway.