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Won't do it. Free easy sex is tempting , but not when she belongs to someone else. Won't ever betray another man….ever.
You’re a toxic and poorly educated person. A meltdown is not a temper tantrum. My emotions have been so strictly regulated I have never been allowed to express them openly without judgment or criticism, much like you are doing.
Empathy is for everyone, not just people you like.
You are a bad person.
I am a good person who is kind and empathetic and understanding and constantly accommodating to everyone around me, who listens and offers gentleness when others are hurt, who gives without expecting anything in return. I deserve love and happiness. I deserve to be treated with respect.
But you don’t. I hate people like you the most. If you don’t have anything nice or helpful, then don’t say anything at all.
You need therapy too. Maybe to fix your narcissism and entitlement.
Six figures doesn't really buy an upgrade. Need serious money to get the very hot influencers.
Yeah I understand that and can empathise with you. You deserve to know though. It's not fair while you're left wondering wtf is going on and he gets to stick his head in the sand.. I'm 41M and trust me, the more you let younger blokes ignore feelings the harder it is.. he needs to emotionally grow up and recognise that his decisions affect you too. I hope it works out.
I'm a bit surprised by all the comments saying this is a red flag and that you should walk away from this…
What i think should happen is he should talk about what happened to his gf and tell her how it bothered him… Which he did and she totally responded in a nice way!? So what's the deal here with people?
If you saw another post about someone complaining that their S.O. didn't take wash the dishes last night you'd say wow this is a red flag too? All of this was a minor thing. They talked. She understood and corrected right away. What more can you possibly wish for??
I just hate people telling others to break up their relationships for insignificent reasons. Relationships take work. A lot of work. You'll constantly have to make adjustments and that's normal.
Red flags galore here —- he immediately told me I act like a child, began ignoring me said you “can never just be agreeable and nice” he will be putting me in time out
Yeah – not a keeper. Time to move on and find out what a healthy relationship looks like.
Because he is gaslighting you into believing that nothing is going on , and that you're being jealous over nothing
He warned the girl that you were there and what he wanted her to say.
You heard her being giggly and flirty before the warning.
You saw the eight calls in half an hour.
He is cheating on you.
Oh sorry, I said it in thought, but didn’t write it down. By childish behavior I mean “I want xyz right here and right now, otherwise I’m gonna have a breakdown right here and it’s your fault”.
I’m up for any solution. In the end I’m trying to find a solution to how to prove her wrong in some things where I know I’m right. Solution which when I’m gonna present, I won’t be met with delusional facts from her side.
I understand. Well the fact he isn’t willing to just watch the kids for a week says a lot.
Depends on what you wanna pay and can afford. I had an almost identical situation once when I was traveling for work. My friend wouldn’t accept cash so I found the most reputable local home cleaning service and worked out a one time deep clean that he could use any time. Cost me $180 I think or maybe $240 I don’t remember somewhere in there. A few months later he used it and said it was insane how much they did and was the best thing ever.
Rule of thumb is to just make sure you return something in better shape than you got it.
I think these types have a vastly inflated idea of their own attractiveness, as if they were Jason Momoa and the Greek god Apollo rolled into one. This is never ever the case, its just some very average guy who for some reason think they are gods gift to women.
Never had my nether regions insulted, but have noticed that my boobs have had plenty of comment. To one man they are still too small, to another far too large. I was young and stupid back then, nowadays that would be received with a polite invitation for that man to go find an appropriately-endowed woman. These boobs are no longer in the running, so to speak. Have a nice day. ?
Eesh. Sounds like it's time to find a new girlfriend.
If everyone has stopped talking to you eventually, that's an urgent signal that there's something wrong with your life approach. don't mean to be harsh. This is territory for therapy. I personally don't have any issue with my partner gaining support from people he used to sleep with. But if that's all you got, and you have to let that go when you get a gf, you are in an inherently one-down position vis-a-vis social relationships. Good luck man, and don't think I don't feel for you.
Thank god someone said it. “But after 9 months, wth?” Like what.. that’s still extremely early in a relationship. Especially for 2 people in their early 20s.
Are you actually not understanding?
He was open to it …..from the beginning ….. therefore he would have used them from the beginning.
One thing to change, have all of her shit packed for her and ready to go…
This is like the most people I have talked to in… ever. I couldn't be an ass to strangers who are offering help.
yes its fine
Here is my advice. There is no coming back. Even the way you talk about the situation tells me you know in your heart this relationship isnt going to work.
Sit down with him, in a neutral place. At home it could become dangerous. Tell him that you love him, but this isn't working anymore. Acknowledge you understand his insecurities about your friend group, but the pressure on you to fix his jealousy isn't fair. Because it isn't.
Tell him that while you were at a party, you made a foolish decision that resulted in infidelity. Again, own it and be clear. He will flail, probably yell, etc. If it escalates to violent behavior (breaking things, etc.) have an exit strategy.
I dont reccomend sharing the details about what you did, or how long it lasted did you like it. The fact of the matter is that it happened. You want him to know about it, and needed him to hear it from you. When you love him, you know how wrong this is and regret hurting him. If he asks why, don't speculate or say it was because you wanted to feel free. It was an impulse decision, and you regret it.
Tell him you understand he will want his space, and you're happy to give him that. Tell him you would like to cool down and discuss this when you're both calmer. Maybe there is a chance of reconciliation, but its doubtful. Take this conversation to tell him out of love. You love him, and know you hurt him. You didnt say it out of anger, shame, or guilt. You want him to have the truth.
This relationship lacks honesty. If it continues, that is one of the most important things to fix. If it doesn't continue, learn to build future relationships with trust, honesty, and clarity. Good luck OP.
You’re probably right…this all started cause I heard her talking to her friend who is married, her friend was complaining that her husband never reciprocated oral to which my gf replied “divorce him” and all I could think was the fact that she has reciprocated oral with me like maybe 10-15 times in 4 years whereas I love to and always ask to give her oral.
And as soon as I thought that it kinda hit me that resentment had apparently started to build and that’s where that thought came from… I can imagine that resentment will only get worse :/ I wish I could address it with her but I don’t want someone I love to have sex with me simply because I want to I want them to want to.
No
It's obvious this was a relationship of little value to begin with. Even without the incident that happened I'd still advise you to end it.
You need to stop wasting your time and he deserves to find someone that is excited to spend time with him.
“Normally I’d reschedule in a very hot minute, but I just can’t this time. Hope you feel better, and look forward to our night out on (date)!”
No excuses, just say you can’t reschedule this time. Done.
Depends on the jurisdiction and the judge/magistrate. Some places are so misogynistic that a mother abandoning her child is treated much more harshly than a father doing the same.
But there's a number in your mind when you say decent amount. What's the number? Because like I said, 50k is enough as long as you're both working and you on-line within your means. Depending on where you live of course.
Go to surviving infidelity.com. It helped me with a cheating wife.
Cheating is unforgivable. You will never be able to fully trust her again. Cut your losses. Sorry.
What exactly did I do besides break up with him before it’s too late ???
/u/Wooden_Maintenance40 OP I know you got a ton of comments on this, but did you see mine here? I am curious how this lands for you – your situation has been on my mind. Wishing you the best!
I’m afraid for her when/if she leaves him! This kind of dude isn’t going to go quietly or gracefully…..
This may very well be the end of the relationship