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Yep. Good luck!
Can it help when panic attacks come out of the blue due to ptsd being triggered or do you have to know they are coming. I disassociate at the same time as I have panic attacks and when I disassociate I get triple vision and can’t see and am glued to my spot because if I try to walk I trip over or run into things.
I did not, as I'm pretty sure if I read the rest, it's just going to be more and more reasons you two should not get back together.
You're only 21. If you guys wanted to be together anytime before, you guys could have. Instead, I'm guessing she took that time to mess around.
Again, being you're only 21, there will be plenty of other “everything's” you will find. Some who will probably treat you better and have a more solid foundation.
Imo. Don't waste your time. Learn from this and appreciate it but move on.
Break up with him he’s ready to experience different sexual experiences
Every person I’ve met who was in your situation regretted not finishing school. If it’s meant to be then it will be no matter what. Focus on school and get those dreams, love follows.
Hope the next update is that you find your inner strength and break up with this girl
The wealthy have jobs
Happy birthday, my dude!
Make sure you do something to treat yourself. I know we're not supposed to say that buying shit makes you feel better, but whispers sometimes it does.
For instance, I bought a beautiful little perfume thing for myself after the shit year I've had.
Plus, make sure you let your friends know that you need a little support. I'm one for retreating into myself in bad times, but it's not good for you. Don't think that you can't call on mutual friends. As long as you're not slagging off your ex they should be there for you.
First. Check the weather. You don't want to be wearing a skirt when it's just above freezing or skinny jeans if it's gonna be very hot and humid (not sure if you're in north or south hemisphere)
As for clothes. No heels. Since dancing is on the table you don't want to hate yourself. Beyond that, don't overthink it. Guys only care so much about your clothes. All we really care about is “is this appropriate for what we're doing” and “does she look good in it”. That's it. Stressing about colors, jewelry, shoes is more for you than impressing him. You've already gotten the date, you don't have to get his attention at the club by a low cut top or something.
Since you'll have time to talk at dinner, I'd remember “The FORD method” which means to fall back to talking about Family, Occupation, Recreation and Dreams when you run into awkward pauses or need ideas
Though I'll throw an idea out
Ask him if you should wear your hair up or down or if you have two tops, ask him which color or send him a pic of them (on the bed). Some guys get a kick out of that when it's kept to a single question
So she’s sex / man shaming basically?
Thank you for the advice, I end up falling into a cycle where I tell her the problems, she tries to fix it and it goes back to the same issues
This is abuse. You are not responsible for his emotions. If he cannot manage his own feelings, it’s his responsibility to do what’s necessary to get the help he needs. Weaponizing his mental health and life is a way to control and manipulate you to get the outcome he wants. Based on your replies it appears to have worked.
Maybe work on the homophobia first
Thank you, I like that message
The guy she said not to worry about
The guy thats on stand by offering a shoulder to cry on
The guy she said were just good friends
The guy that never cared about ruining your relationship
” How do I fix this? For my ex and my colleague that had feelings for me in the first place”
Well you don't . Nothing will make this better. Make your peace and move on. Stop stringing along your ex. Not hating just being realistic.
She's ruining it. She is abusive. You know you can't accept it so don't. She's going to keep doing it
You hang on for a little bit she is the mother of your child you can't just walk away from the jump. Give her some time to figure her shit out. It was her dog to do whatever she wanted with. As long as she doesnt get rid of his dog it's not really his problem.
But yes hormones can and do have such an influence on your personality and decision making. Its not every one but I have seen very calm and pleasant patients go batshit crazy on prednisone and I have seen mothers that didn't pick their kids up for months due to postpartum. So yeah some of it you have to laugh off like waking you up at 3 am to go get pizza flavored ice-cream.
She did a shitty thing and is going to have to deal with it once she is clear. At least she rehomed him somewhere where she can get him back when she realizes how much she messed up.
Ted Mosby has entered the chat
This solo trip has been something she has dreamed of for years. She wrote it in a book when she was 15 and hasn't been able to fulfil it yet. She believes this is the year to do so.
My main question is, do I wait for her to return…
Sounds like you’re into garbage people, surely this is wrong? You said you love him and respect the very relationship – both of those things are making you question yourself, doubt reality, and suffer through name calling. Why do you want that? If that’s a direct quote from him, he admitted to cheating already. Sounds like you should be with someone who respects you, doesn’t lead you to question their erratic behavior, and who will be fair.
Honestly I'm pretty sure it is fake. It's way too well written for a grieving 18 year old who just found out her father was screwing her boyfriend. It reads more like a chapter from a book.
OP, leave this guy asap. Your last post about how controlling he is should have been the one to show you that this guy is a massive, walking red flag.
He will eventually drive you away from even your family and you will be so isolated that it will become even harder to leave him. If he gets angry over the stuff that shouldn't make him mad, imagine what he will do when you get into the basic arguments that every single couple eventually gets into.
Leave. Leave. Leave. Please. You will be so much happier single. And when you are eventually ready for another relationship, stay 100 miles away from any guy like him. Be with someone that makes you truly happy instead of some jerk that calls you names and gets mad at you over everyday, regular stuff. But that should after you take some time to heal and learn how a good relationship should work.
Just tell him straight up Ik he would want that and idek him
I mean it’s not super quick. It’s 6-8 weeks
I’m not asking for your opinion on that.
My question is why would you wanna date a guy whos like that though? Like what are you getting out of it lol?
Why wouldn’t you just adopt if you wanted kids that badly? ??♂️
How does she think it works in reverse where older adults have to take care of their elderly parents?
Thanks for advice. I’ll just have to try and bring it up in convo when we are next together. A few of my other housemates have actually come up to me and said what’s going on with you and 23M and have basically insinuated why are we together. I just don’t want to have the chat and then it be awkward.
That hurts to read, because she does care about me and has helped me through a lot. I wasn’t in the best place when she met me, and through my time with her I worked through a lot to become a very successful individual. She supported me a lot through this journey and helped me address a lot of my anxiety issues, so I have a difficult time labeling her as horrible, selfish, and self-centered for that.
she is nt evil at all. When I asked her to leave the apartment she was very sport abut it and even told me that I was right. I wish she was evil so I could explain my bitterness
Out your uncle for being a sick ass as well. An 18 year old is not even a child more like a baby to him and if he's willing to do that(a teenager thats his neohews ex) he's willing to do worse
False. 57 would be the last of the boomers.
She is a typical entitled boomer.
She probably ate lead paint chips and huffed leaded gas like the rest of them and now takes her entitlement on the rest of us “kids.”
Kids being anyone that isnt them, and knows not to consume lead.
As someone who has CPTSD, I call bs on your “friend” being triggered. She is using a MH issue to manipulate you. This is not how a friend acts. She should be happy for you not trying to make you feel guilty for expressing your joy.
Fuck, you are so so right. I'm so afraid of upsetting her thay I won't put my foot down and tell her how it is.
I actually spoke with her tonight and told her basically the things you said. Obviously in a calmer tone.
We didn't fight, I think she actually kind of understood or just got really scared with the possibility of a breakup.
Told me she will change, we'll see how it goes…
“My husband treats me like a fleshlight, doesn’t respect my boundaries, is pervy about my friends, and lowers my self esteem, is it ok to leave him?” Yes girl please leave. I’ve put up with some shit from guys but this is a whole different level of disrespect
Uhh this reminded me of someone I know whose IQ is in lower 70s (I think). This person is similarly obsessed and gets easily offended when they perceive anything as pointing out their self-identified stupidity. There is no way to reason with them, and they can't really follow anything more complex than a 6-grader would. They don't do elaborate concepts. They often parrot what they heard, and similarly, they end up with a wild compendium of opinions, without forming their own.
I found it challenging being with them, because at a certain level of conversation, I'd find myself alone because they couldn't follow me, there was a conceptual cutoff. This was about anything, science, politics, work, relationships, media, finances, and daily tasks.
I don't know if this is the same situation, I just found what you describe eerily familiar and extremely relatable.
They just sound like immature wanks, I’d just let them be and pay them absolutely no mind.
You're Danish?? And you're coming to the UK to have surgery?? … I'm in the UK and finding it very hot to believe anyone from northern Europe would get better healthcare here.
No, cut your losses immediately. Either a woman is into you or not. A woman who is in to you would be asking to see you all the time, moving much faster than this and you know… acting in a loving or at least engaged manner.
Wow. Nothing to see here! You’ve done nothing wrong or weird. Forget about and move on. If your bf doesn’t approve he’s not worth being with