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Ah…gotcha. Sorry to hear that. But it sounds like it wasn't a very healthy situation.
If that story you shared is representative, I hope you don't internalize that blame. Sometimes people aren't in a place mentally and emotionally to meet you where you are. You gotta let those people go. But sometimes they have a way of making you feel like it's your fault when it's not. I've been there and it takes a long time and a lot of therapy to dig out and realize that they were blaming me when they actually were the ones not holding up their end.
Anyway…I'm out on a limb here, but just wanted to say that.
I think him focusing on his career to provide is a big problem once he's ignoring more pressing issues, all families need money and this causes one parent to be abscent. He's working on the money side, leaves the house and kids to his wife and thought this will all magically fix itself. That mindset has to change but it's naked to change after so many years. He could have reduced work hours for a while to support her but money pressures people, 4 kids and a house cost all lots of money. It's sad how families get ripped apart by plain numbers printed on paper but it's a daily reality for many.
Him considering leaving must be another major hit in her gut. They are no team.
You’re not gonna leave a handprint I just pushing her back, stop lying
You’re 27 and dating a teen because you know no one your age would tolerate your bs.
Break up with her so she has the opportunity to date someone better.
That looks very short term thinking. What wound prevent the daughter to then try to meet her bio mom? And then having the bio mom manipulate her and lie about her actual family. Its ever you tell the full story either you dont. And if you tell it , it will always be a bomb.
HUGS LMFAO
If casual relationships are not for you, that's fair. At the same time, having more romantic and sexual experience really teaches you some important lessons about how to evaluate partners and see through bullshit. These are lessons that I really think you are missing.
You said that you immediately clicked with this guy. Having been through multiple relationships (and marriages) I have learned the very hot way that the click is only the most minor indication that you can proceed with extreme caution. All these things you immediately find in common? They're nice, but most likely superficial, and probably irrelevant. Yes, you're looking for common ground, but in the first six months, what you should mainly look for are red flags. You should expect them, and avoid falling in love during this period, because then you will miss, or dismiss them.
Additionally, that feeling you described is also one that I have come to fear. At the time, it feels like you've come home. Unfortunately, that's exactly what the feeling might be, the deep sense of familiarity, because this person unconsciously reminds you of your most difficult parental relationship. Which means you're walking straight into the exact same dysfunction or abuse you grew up with, with your heart wide open. And because it feels so safe, you ignore every sign of trouble.
A very few people do form happy marriages by blundering into them, but for most of us, true connection is a matter of weeding out all the bad ones. And getting to know someone takes time. It's easy for some people to seem wonderful. For a while. You have to be more skeptical. And I really think you should date some more. You don't have have sex if you don't want to, but get to know some men, and use your brain before engaging your heart.