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This is a you problem. You should respect your bf's privacy, especially since you've broken his trust several times without him doing anything.
Be a grown up and talk to your boyfriend about how you feel.
Aw me too
As a practical step, you should not stop visiting your mum but stay in a nearby hotel or whatever. Visit her and invite her to meet you at hotel etc.
Still not something meritting this level of anxiety and desire to be involved.
I highly recommend you explore your individuality a lot more so that you don't push on other people's independence too much out of insecurity.
Does it matter how her parents feel about the relationship? How inclined is your gf to listen to her parents? (Is she financially independent from them?)
Sounds like you’re willing to sacrifice your own plans to be with her? But if that happens do you know what’s next for you? Have you talked about that or any other possibility with your gf?
What things could you do to deepen your relationship? To test the waters and see if you both come up swimming, like a road trip or something.
You can find Christian clinical licensed therapist as a substitute for just a regular “spiritual leader” they aren't qualified to deal with your issues. God gives us wisdom so pls use it to find help that's appropriate for your needs
I know of a 30+ year long marriage that emerged from such a situation.
Their ex's who had the affair didn't last very long together however.
I’m posting this somewhere else bc mods have only let me see one comment of 10
If you have to check a usage report to see if the vacuuming has been done, it probably doesn’t need doing.
That is also weird controlling behaviour.