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Model from: jp
Languages: de,en,it,ar,ja,zh
Birth Date: 2003-10-18
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Ethnicity: ethnicityAsian
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Speaking as someone who’s been through it and still has some doubts I offer you only my perspective. First, you suspect something more. You said as much and otherwise you wouldn’t have even made this post. In my experience, trust your gut and prepare yourself because you’re probably right. Second, like me, you sound like someone who needs irrefutable proof. I get that but you’re not going to get that right away. So now you’ve got to decide how to move forward.
You can push naked and call her bluff; get necessary legally binding documents drawn up (word won’t suffice in court) and follow through with the polygraph (lie-detector), then react accordingly. Or the softer/sneakier approach; check her phone. Check messages, deleted messages, pictures and any/all social media messengers or other messengers, or best option, request a transcript of all messages to certain numbers (or all) from your provider (I’m pretty sure you can do that as the account administrator through most cell companies, I could be wrong though). Do not bother calling/texting the other guys because even if they are telling the truth (unless they confirm your suspicions), you’ll always doubt the truth of what they say. And sadly, going forward Keep a very close eye on ALL her digital activity. Phones record nearly everything and it’s forever if you have the right resources. If she’s being unfaithful, you’ll eventually find it there but it has to be a deep dive every time and that’s nearly impossible to do sneakily. Or, if it’s an option, just hire a private investigator. They can dig up anything for you but at a cost. Also, do you really want to do all that?
The questions I have regarding the situation; what exactly does she want to seek therapy about? Why, after your past, would she even dare cross the boundaries you have? And when she told you of her past indiscretion, did she seem truly remorseful? Also, why did she tell you in the first place? Guilt? Or was she caught and had to confess finally.
My (limited) observations based on your post; there is absolutely zero reason these days for a strange man (or woman) to stay the night with your spouse (based on those circumstances; Uber/Lyft is a thing now. Also, it has been my experience, people get agitated or “angry” when they get caught doing something they’re not supposed to. Not always but most times. And finally, the reaction (in my opinion) to a sincere attempt at repairing any relationship is to never put it in question or do suspicious things again. Her actions don’t seem to match that.
I hope I helped in some way and I truly wish the best possible outcome for you. No matter what, you’re in a crappy situation and I feel for you. It really sucks when the person you should be able to trust most stomps that trust into the mud. And especially in marriage, it’s nearly impossible to get beyond it afterwards. Feel free to message me if you have any further questions or need to talk/vent to someone. I get it.
Fuck that