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She's screwing with you and she wants what she can't have. There will always be another reason. I'd cut all contact.
My thought was he needed a CAT scan or something.
You hit the nail on the fucking head!!!!
Your balls don’t hurt if you don’t finish. Dudes just a fucking baby trying to get sympathy
I mean hey my gf got angry the other day bc i didnt give her multiple orgasms like i ussually do and weve been together for 2 years lmfao so i deff feel you its a major turn off when the other gets butthurt over something you cant control always
This is hilarious, although I’ve never known a woman to stomp around and cause a scene about it haha
good luck
Ex-fiancé
As someone who already suffers from anxiety and depression, I fear you may be right.
This is why conversations about what is and isn’t cheating needs to happen in monogamous relationships too lmao
So… you suck and are a bad wife. I say this because you purposely made her story vague that on first read, your sister just happens to crash the night at your place, and just really late. Not cool, but not a war crime, and your husband is just freaking out, amirite? But, of course, that's not the real story. In reality, she's a druggie who refuses all help and burns every bridge she comes across and makes everyone around her miserable. Your husband being sick of being forced to play servant for such an unwilling to help themselves person is not a red flag. Your refusal to let him relax, and then to play the saintly older sister while devaluing your husband is.
When you tell someone no about something and they still go ahead and do that.. it shows they don't respect you enough to listen to what you say..
It’s true- the two of you are not a match, and it’s nobody’s fault – that’s what dating is for. To meet someone who you are compatible with, to share a life together.
The screaming and apologizing and angrily turning it back on you, that’s incompatible with the life you want to have- and you don’t want your future children to grow up thinking this is how people solve issues.
Everyone covered the “relationship ” bit. As an older lady who had her kids right as I got into my 20s, focus on school. Finish school before you do anything else. Everything else will get in the way and you have PLENTY of time to really get living. Kids, wives, girlfriends, friends… don't let these things stop you from finishing school. Find a career that won't dominate your life and Everything will fall into place. If you find the one beforehand she'll wait and want what's best for you. She'll support you and you do the same for her.
Not without a Ring and your Name on the Deed and maybe a Pre-Nup so you get your Money Back if it blows up..
It doesn't matter how long it's been since the last pregnancey, what matters is her age. Every pregnancy after 40 years old is considered high-risk. Her pregnancy at 37 (if it was otherwise normal) was not considered high-risk. Her current age changes everything and it's really irresponsible of you guys to behave as though it doesn't require one, lousy doctor visit to get a full understanding of what you could be in for.
Classic attachment issues, probably she has deep rooted fear of abadonment. The fact that she cant even take 8 hours is very alarming. Unless she is aware of her fear, this will slowly decend into hell. She might develop controlling behaviour out of this.
Take it from someone who has gone through The fiery hell of healing severe abadonment issues. It takes work and time, then more work and time. Save yourself the trouble and leave before things gets worse.
OR
Talk with her and say that think this is an issue in your relationship and see if she understand that you need alone time aswell.
You made the horrible mistake of trying to go to bed angry, and you overreacted to a completely innocent gesture made by your gf (granted based on your own trauma) by pushing her. This is how really bad situations start. At this point the relationship is effectively over as you can’t have a relationship without trust and it seems like the trust was already being tested in the first place. Let her go gracefully.
Honestlu its only been a month and I can only see it getting worse from here. It would be much more beneficial for you to tell him its just not going to work out, and break up.
He has absolutely no respect for you, your boundaries, and by extension, your family. He willingly crossed your boundaries and surprised you at your place knowing your plans and that he could put your family at risk.
He knew your boundary about sharing your relationship, and told people anyways.
He can say he cares about you and your boundaries all he wants but the truth is he blatantly doesn't and thats not okay.
Dude why you letting her do this to you. Get the divorce and send her packing. She has dumped you for another guy and has the audacity to make you feel guilty.
The cute gestures my partner does for me are personal. I don’t need to immediately text all my friends to brag about it.
Answer the question.
I'm not talking about religion. Religion can find common ground. Most religions are, debatably, about not being a dick to each other. But I'm asking you what the compromise is for the issue of gay marriage.
It’s been 20 yrs. Women are often shamed for having sex and their number of sexual partners. Way back then when she was a teenager, she knew she would be judged for it so she did what she felt she had to do so that wouldn’t think less of her. It doesn’t mean she had shame it means that she was aware that women are judged all the time.
My take is — who cares? It happened so long ago, and you can’t even be sure it happened. What if she was coerced into it? What if it was date rape? What if it never happened? Do you really need to know any of that? Does any of that knowledge change anything about your long and good relationship? Do you really want to accuse your wife of lying to you 20 yrs ago and hurt her? For what? Why?
I’m all for snooping when u have reasonable grounds, well done. I’d say either he keeps his phone unlocked going forward, or you’re done with him. But there’s also the painful possibility that those two are just better suited
If 50% of marriages end in divorce, 50% of them don't. Why are you so sure yours will end in divorce?
My brother in christ shes severely depressed and going through early menopause now that the hysterectomy has happened. Like you are describing clear cut depression. I dont see how you expected her to heal while also taking care of the house and 4 children thats a fulltime job in itself. You need to hire a cleaner and a therapist seriously.
I feel like she did it on purpose to trap me.
How did she manipulate your condoms? Or were you just relying on her using bc?
First and foremost, get him away from your family. They do not need this stress and disrespect rn. Send him home now.
Okay, I hear you… but I don’t see what the betrayal of trust has to do with explaining women, either. Again, that’s talking behavior that can be seen from anybody.
Letting things happen is never good. Speak for yourself and don't count bodies that don't count because you goofed yourself. You can say no and if you're bored well you goofed yourself.
I am generally a good judge of character- I think!
Obviously, you aren't. If you were, you wouldn't think that a serial cheater has a good heart.
It stopped OP from being responsible before the comments pointed it out.
well he's a cop so the statistics don't lean well in that regard
Neither of you are ready for a relationship. Let this relationship go.
As a guy who has worked as a bouncer before starting in sales – same goes for women. I had a girlfriend at the time, I always let them know I had a gf. The amount of times they grabbed me between my legs, tried to kiss me etc. was crazy.
But that only goes for about 5% of women. I've seen more nightlife than most.
He does it quite frequently. But I think he just thinks it’s the norm. I personally would be worried if my blackouts were harming relationships of mine
I think so too! My friends said that he's probably not interested but I feel more leaning towards giving him the benefit of the doubt as well.
I guess so, but they hang out a whole bunch more than my partner and I now
Jesus christ I just had a flashback to a past relationship. Thank you for this explanation.
To start, you can confide in your best friend and ask her if she’s still in contact with your BF about his surprise, if she can kind of ‘chat’ with him about how you might not be ready, and that he needs to hold off until at least the fall or winter, and then bring it up with your friend again.
He’s likely afraid you’re close to walking, so he thinks proposing will magically fix things. If he’s determined to propose, get your friend to make sure he does it in private, so if you’re not ready, you can decline without making a big scene.
Or… if you don’t want to deal with all of that, then I also do think it’s appropriate for you to bring up how you’re not ready. You don’t even have to say your friend blabbed. You can bring up the argument again and just say how thankful you are that you both were able to work through it, but that it showed you how you are not yet ready for marriage. Perhaps explaining it that way will help him hold off.
I have a fear of bugs and actually like rodents (like mice and rats) so it's literally feeding them that was the nope line for me. And I totally get not wanting to deal with a fish tank…I feel like I'm taking constant life support readings
She shoves this woman’s head. It’s too much. I would be on board if she weren’t so rude to this woman, and she sited him telling her to be quiet as her issue…but it seems like this to her was him cheating to her, followed by screaming and crying, which is actually insane. Too much.
Your dad is just another moron, who doesn't understand what paedophillia is. Not much else to say here. He also seems to be the typical redneck christian guy who threatens boyfriends of his daughter with death. It's so cliche it hurts.
I could suggest plethora of rational arguments but I doubt he's gonna listen to any of them, so there's not much point.
Also, OP, please be aware that they are like that because you failed to wake them up to reality as you were growing up in the modern times. To an extent it is understandable because your dad seems like the kind of guy who could get violent, but it's also why they are like they are now. Had you been more in-your-face about sex, relationships and so on starting from your teenage years, maybe some of this clownship would have evaporated by now.
Not. Go to sleep & try again tomorrow. Who knows what’s going on?
If this was a one time thing I would totally find it normal not bring it up because you can just forget about it. But three times a week, every weeks, is a little too consistent to not at least tell the partner when talking about how was your day. I'm the kind of person that just don't feel jealousy, like it's really hot for me to have this feeljng or to be bothered by stuff like that, but in this case I would be
Part of me also feels like if I didn't have the relationship before this one, which had great conversations but was missing the “wanting the same futures” portion, I would be perfectly happy because I would not have known what else is out there. I probably would have just assumed that having a relationship where you respect and care for each other but are not really chatty was perfectly fine… just get some interesting friends and call it a day. Anyway, I hear ya. I cannot check all the boxes with any relationship, so how many boxes should be checked before I should commit to someone and work through the issues? Because if not this one, there will be issues with the next person as well, and I will have the same choice – work through the disconnects or break up.
Exactly. OP has very much embarrassed his girlfriend and doesn’t seem to care that she will now have to face questions about it, defend their relationship from gossip and deny that he’s cheating. Because people likely won’t ask him about it, they will ask her to try to elicit a true reaction. OP has really put her in a crap position by not thinking about how that picture looks out of context.
I'm sorry but what? His feelings don't matter? Something that will literally change the course of his life doesn't matter? What kind of toxic nonsense is this? Should he support his wife? Sure. But he doesn't have to agree to raise another man's child in order to do that.
We have a lot in common and I’ve always been youthful and playful. We just match up well personality wise. You would have to be us to know that. But I understand you have your opinion.
I thought I was over at r/AmITheAsshole until I realised that this person by no means thinks there is any chance that they are, in fact, the asshole.
Despite all evidence to the contrary…
How about you find yourself a boyfriend who actually wants to be part of your life and for you to be part of his, instead of one who just wants to fuck ypu in a carpark when he’s not busy.
Or just tell him you slept with his wife!
You may have blinders on, because this is very controlling behavior. It's not just the demand to switch therapists. It's the threat to blow up the relationship if you don't cave in. I think you made a big mistake in justifying and explaining your choice. It's even worse that you're defending it by insisting it's a professional relationship.
Your choice was a personal one that doesn't involve her. So I'm not sure what to tell you. This doesn't sound at all like a healthy relationship.
I find stupid people to be very unattractive personally. If you are dumb as rocks and can't even understand basic words, let alone have deep emotional and philosophical discussions, then why would I want you as a long term partner? Honestly I wouldn't blame you at all for ditching his ass, as cold as that may sound
I find stupid people to be very unattractive personally. If you are dumb as rocks and can't even understand basic words, let alone have deep emotional and philosophical discussions, then why would I want you as a long term partner? Honestly I wouldn't blame you at all for ditching his ass, as cold as that may sound
It’s highly likely he was on track to get the job but they still had to call his current job to get a reference.
Your husband is stupid. I would divorce him over this and move back in with family.
He will always be stupid and will never change. Be thankful he did this before you had children.
He acted recklessly and selfishly. He sounds like an utter tool.
I have no advice. I am just sorry your husband was such a moron.
I don’t think I’m insecure, never had jealousy problems until now since she lied to my face
Why are you still having sex with her if you planned to break up with her?
He didn't want to get married… To you. That's a hot pill to swallow, but you have to move on. You'll find your match by looking, not by mooning over an ex. It hurts right now but stop dwelling on it. Distract yourself.
They’re back together…and she apologized to HIM!! ????
The fact that you are trying very hot to find your way back to this abuser is very troubling. You are trying to accepted the blame for his behavior. You are trying to figure out if you can trust him and that he has changed. He has not! If he has changed he would apologize and then leave you alone. I am more concerned about your behavior and thinking. Because even if you stay broken up with this guy the way you are currently thinking you could just replace him with another abuser. You need to see a therapist and figure out why you ended up in this type of relationship. I want to tell you stop fixating on him and if he has changed and start focusing on changing yourself. In the long run working on yourself is going to get you into a much healthier relationship!! Good luck!
Which is why everyone here is telling you to leave. You cannot be with this man and not have it be draining and exhausting. Those two feelings come as a package deal with him.
Congratulations on your new salary! I think you need to meet her halfway and say that while you respect your coworkers and boss at the end of the day you need to put your (and her) future first. Career decisions do not reflect how you view you company day to day.
I would point to all the layoffs that are offering and the fact that company loyalty has changed. People don’t work for one company/family business for their entire careers any longer
No, you're going to be every single other too young couple that rushes into a marriage because your boyfriends in the military and end up miserable, pregnant and divorced by 23.
Damn KS sucks in that regard. I hope that law changed because it doesn't seem fair that assets you had prior to marriage be considered as marriage assets.
Ick. Classic projector. Wants to talk shit about content/sexwork but happy to consume it on the downlow even at the peril of his relationship. Strikes me as a 'doth protest too much' sort of thing and honestly, just a kind of shitty attitude to promote even if just a front.
Strikes me that leaves you with a lot to reflect on in general. May be that he is just a bit more gross in general than you hoped.
Are you able to access therapy?
Can you elaborate please? Sure, I've tried saying nothing to show his words are worthless to the conversation, I've also asked him to stop and told him it's unacceptable, and I've questioned him to try and understand what he's really trying to say, and why. I've even posted my thoughts here for help just to be called a racist myself by anonymous strangers. Cool beans yo. Anything else I should be doing?
Very true, just for the record. We are currently on ft. She ftd me randomly 30 min ago after I said we need to finalize our decision and if we break up I want no contact, calling me bub again, acting normal and a lot more calm and clear headed. Should I let this happen or break it off?
You’re completely overreacting.