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Model from: in
Languages: en
Birth Date: 2000-08-10
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I would have a conversation with him and ask him what is going on. Address your observations. Is he not attracted to you?
Be ready to leave if you do not get a favorable response. You do not settle. You go after what you want. If things don't work out, release and walk away.
Honestly OP break up. She cheated on you end of discussion. On top of that she wants you to move abroad with her and because you haven’t said yes she cheated. That’s not someone I would be comfortable moving to another country with.
This sounds like classic abuse amongst queer couples. I don’t agree that this is simple RSD or anxiety. And even if it is, anxiety is not a valid excuse for manipulation. If she cannot control her anxiety she needs help beyond the relationship.
Let me ask this, do you want to spend a life time married to someone who you can never be upset around? Never be angry? Never disagree? Have a bad day? Someone you can’t ever get to compromise? Or get to be a full human with a full range of emotions? Seriously ask yourself that. Cause anxiety, CTPSD, or BPD you won’t be getting that anytime soon around this person and her chosen behaviors.
I'm so sorry, but this isn't it. This relationship is comfortable for him, and he seems to be an inconsiderate bully. And, he's watching you struggle? No. Just no. I make more than my partner, and he would NEVER ask me to pay a bill or nickel and dime me over any damn thing, much less a vacation. Why? Because he likes and loves me. Your guy may have been different 9 years ago because you were different 9 years ago. But, he's saved a lot just by using you. He's saved half on expenses and had a maid.