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Tell her the truth. Three of you are going to a concert. Can you get your GF a ticket? Maybe sell your current ticket and buy two for you and your GF?
Tell her the truth. Three of you are going to a concert. Can you get your GF a ticket? Maybe sell your current ticket and buy two for you and your GF?
I feel like this girl is getting “wanting to have sex” and “developing feelings” mixed up…
Now you know why he’s had to resort to dating teenagers.
So basically because she's in love, she should be punished??
Just sounds like he knows or is insinuating he knows you might be interested is his wife
It kind of sounds like she just decided to make plans in the meantime since you werent available to pick her up when you originally agreed
But he is like this now. So what are you doing
Yeah, that’s why YOU think naked before having kids these days. The solution is not to burden other people who had no say in whether or not your have children.
Why were you looking in his phone in the first place? Is there history of cheating?
She’s right in the middle of the average bmi for her height and age, but she’s convinced that she’s too heavy
Do you want me to just go to the extreme and break it off with her? You all feed so heavily off the drama.
He stayed friends with all his exes, I wonder if that’s not helped him process it? Like still chats to all of them except one. Still likes their photos etc.he didn’t even try and stay in contact with me
I wonder if he goes on to talk about me with his next girl.
I’m not saying he’s perfect, but I don’t think he’s the bad guy here. The whole idea that he’s cheating because he didn’t do certain things sounds victim blame-y to me. The best friend lied to sabotage her best friend’s relationship, affecting the relationship her child will have with both his/her parents, all because she doesn’t like her best friend’s fiancé. What kind of a person does that? But instead you’re hooked onto what he didn’t do to prevent his fiancé from thinking she cheated… in case somebody accused him of such a thing? What the best friend did was wrong and is not a friend to the fiancé at all.
I read the story, and I see that she lied and he hasn’t. In some of his comments he expresses more empathy towards his fiancé than her best friend does and he’s still the bad guy? I’m not sure what other random events you’re taking about that don’t “play in his favor” because it sounds like the guy was worried about best friend’s behavior and since he’s going to have a kid, he probably got more concerned by how that would affect his child, so he expresses his feelings to his fiancé. Best friend hears about all this and chooses the worst time to lie about OP cheating on her.
OP I have no idea if you even look at this post but if you see this I'd really be interested in an update! I hope things are going well for you and your husband!
Completely agree that OP should think deeply about it. I've updated my comment above after reviewing what I was saying/replying to.
Ok that seems fair. I did not realize this, but now I do.
PS: I do like to kid around with her too, cheesy jokes/puns that get the ol' eye-roll…but for those situations, it's OK.
You’re “traumatized” that your girlfriend enjoyed someone touching her before you two even started dating?
This is pretty absurd. There’s some amount of unhinged jealousy / insecurity going on here.
Yes, I wasn’t ready until I was 24. I then found my current wife and have been married 25 years. If I would have done it, I wasn’t mature enough at 21. The age is irrelevant and only you know when you’re ready.
You know what's worse than feeling like you've wasted 4 years on this man? Feeling like you've wasted 5. Or 6. Or 7. Etc.
That feeling isn't going to go away, and you'll probably mourn the relationship you had hoped for, and mourn the reality of those promises not being fulfilled. But at least once you're done mourning them, you can actually work towards attaining a relationship that will provide you with those things. There are people out there who do want the same things as you. But you won't ever find them if you stick with this loser. Please do not marry this man. He is not the one.
Thank you. I agree with everything you said. And it was well stated. It’s healing for me to read this even though it is not my healing that I’m most concerned with.
This is one example that actually makes me really sad, because (imo) it shows how easily people give up:(
My dad is a sailor, has been his entire young/adult life (45 years) and his wife has often described the same dilemma to me.. Whenever he was gone their whole life changed.. She essentially became a single mother of their two kids, and ran the household on her own.. Then he came back and fucked it all up lol.. Their routine changes again and it takes real effort from her to “make room” for him in her life and some serious effort from him to respect how things are at home, because he can’t come in demanding that everything changes, just because he’s home..
They’ve been together for nearly 30 years and it’s one of the ugly things in their marriage, and I’ve been told by everyone who’s ever been seriously married, that you’ll never ever find a relationship that’s all smooth sailing exactly because it is a union between two different people..
But what the hell do I know, I absolutely do not want to get married or on-line with another human being, so perhaps this is shitty advice, but it sounds like she’s over it unfortunately, I’m sorry, dude..:(
Eh not really cheat the same though Women tend to cheat more emotionally and men tend to cheat physically. Of course for a long time only the second was really seen as cheating.
Are….you saying that you don't find her attractive, but you settled?
The birthday dinner is not the primary issue.
You are in a secret relationship. That means you are likely the side chick,.
She is done. Let it go.
hey, many of the comments are saying that you should leave him alone or something, don't do it abruptly alright? if u leave him now then it will add up to more trauma for him. You know all you can do now is try. let him know how special he is to you and that you will never do anything like that which makes him feel uncomfortable. You know give him love and care, do good things for him. Try all these for some time and if he doesn't want to give up on this relationship then maybe try couple therapy. Worst he might leave you but you know all you can do is try and you cannot blame him at all.
I hope you realize, one day it is going to be your medication and she's going to hide it.
It might be time to very much rethink this relationship and let it go.
Anyone who can sit there and lie about going through something so horrific, then asking for and receiving support under such a guise, is not a good person.
She has shown you she's a bold faced liar. You likely won't (and shouldn't) be able to trust her moving forward.
Take some time to work on yourself and learn to demand the respect you deserve.
Yess came to the comments to talk about that.
OP's brother should be one of the first people to know about that, and I think that moving forward he can be very helpful in supporting OP throughout the whole thing
I just want to wish you good luck with this conversation.
Have you not laid out any ground rules for your open relationship? Seems like he's less interested in you at this time because of your open relationship and his ability to seek what he's missing elsewhere. There's no incentive for him to try to work through things right now if he can just ghost you for periods at a time.
You need to highly re-evaluate your relationship and also the nature of your open relationship to see that it's actually beneficial for you as a couple.
So many have already said to report this to the authorities, so I hope you have done so. Why you came to Reddit before immediately contacting authorities is beyond irresponsible.
I have taken screenshots of this post, as well as OP's comment history. I will be filing a report with the FBI and providing the screenshots in the report. They take this very seriously, and the FBI could also determine that OP is complicit for having knowledge and not reporting.
The raging lunatic turn doesn't surprise me. The whole thing sounds like a lazy control trip by him , a way to lock you down.
Hope he fucks off without much drama and sees a therapist eventually.
As someone who tends to be like your BF, I have to ask, what is it that you want to hear? I have this issue with someonen in my life. I try “I'm sorry” and “it'll be OK” and that's never enough, but I don't understand what more I'm supposed to say. If I offer suggestions I'm not being empathetic enough. I also don't want to encourage the constant complaining. Its so frustrating, so I'd be interested to hear what it is that you need to feel supported without being enabled in the negativity
Lmao
Of course you can’t put your foot down because you don’t have anything.
Your relationship is a strong is the title.
She doesn’t respect you enough not to do this. You don’t respect yourself enough to expect a title and demand respect.
She knows you’re going nowhere. You are a safety placeholder.
Sorry guy. You can’t be meek in dating and expect good results.
What do you think? Are you comfortable going?
A dinner and a show. I wish I was there for that. Sounds like quite the night.