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He says it’s absolutely ridiculous that it bothers me and that I shouldn’t let it, so he still calls me it.
This is how you know that it's not, in fact, a 'term of endearment' from him but a way to push your buttons, get under your skin and be passive-aggresively mean to you. He says it doesn't mean anything yet he won't give it up, even though it bothers you and you don't like it. So why is he hanging on so tightly to calling you a name you don't like? Why is he more invested in calling you a silly name than he is in making you comfortable and happy? Why is calling you stupid, juvenile names the hill he wants to die on? Because he is openly disrespecting you while claiming he isn't and that you're just overreacting. Ask him why he is putting up such a fight about his 'right' to call you shitty names?
I believe you should thank her and move on. You did nothing wrong.
Trying to fix a relationship with a marriage or baby rarely works and if she had known that it would have saved both of you a heartache.
Be thankful that you do not have a child with her because the logistics would have been a nightmare for the both of you.
Tell her you will give her the divorce she wanted and wish her good luck, if she changes her mind good, but I would not count on it.
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