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Good God…. This man sounds awful. He's clearly abusive and is totally gaslighting you. Get away from him and online a better life.
Oh he's a bad husband alright. You're depressed, on anti-depressants and crying regularly over things he's said. You are not overreacting at all. Your examples DO show that he is unkind and won't take responsibility for his words and actions. He may even be sadistic given the way he likes to “joke” at your expense. And he's telling you he “can't” (but really, won't) stop. He can stop, he just doesn't want to because he likes creating chaos and hurting you. Unfortunately the therapist was bamboozled.
I suggest that you get angry, very angry. Turn your depression to anger. Keep a private, factual written log of what the hell he's saying. Just for you. While you're figuring out next steps on what to do I say give it back to him. He picks at you, you comment about some of his insecurities e.g. his hairline, he's a bad kisser, his stomach, etc. Alternate that approach with simply saying “I can't be talked to that way and immediately leave the vicinity. Always have enough money on you to take a cab home. If he doesn't like your coffee, don't make it any more. Doesn't like how you do laundry? Don't do it. You get the idea.
I think he's ground you so far done it may be very hard for you to get the momentum going to leave him, but you can do it. Do you have people/animals to be around that lift you up? Spend more time with them, and develop skills in things you enjoy. Consider seeing a competent therapist — who you feel supported by — to help you through this. Good luck.