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My advice would be too leave the house or make him leave. Atleast for a few days. Tell someone you trust what happened and make sure he knows they know. I always kept my abuse a secret and thats how he thrived for so long because i felt trapped and alone. Then if you decide you want to stay with him, you have a very direct talk. Lay down new boundaries and tell him the consequences if it happens again. And if he ever even looks like he's going to do it again, you leave once and for all.
If you're going to break up, it won't be any easier tomorrow than it will be today. I'm a softee too and one time I actually prolonged so long breaking up with someone to keep from hurting his feelings that I unintentionally led him on, and the day I finally picked to break up he had picked to propose to me! So after I said my break up speech, (already feeling like the biggest ass in 3 states), he said, “Well, I guess I look even stupider now for buying this, and he pulled out the ring!”
That was 30 years ago, and I still feel horrible! It was all bc I didn't want to hurt him, but I would've hurt him far less if I'd broke up with him sooner.
It will never get any easier for him or you. Delaying the inevitable once you realize you no longer want to be with him is not being kind to him…it's the ultimate cruelty, wasting his time and leasing him on giving him false hope. I wish I could go back and tell that to my younger self, but since I can't, I'm telling you. Move on for both of your sakes.