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Very miss you, ❤️Will be back soon, Tammy, 99 y.o.
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He got you once. He will hit you again. He will hit your pets. He will hit your child. Leave.
Thank you so much for this. This is the approach I'm going to take. While I was hurt, I still thanked him for telling me, and said I'd rather know.
The issue isn’t the ex. It’s YOUR FIANCÉ. He didn’t prioritize your needs and didn’t communicate with you. He took his problems to other people.
This is not a man you want to marry. Full stop.
If he wants it to be that way he can use his smaller portion of income for his kid and you can use your larger portion for your two. He sounds selfish for no reason.
There’s zero reason to give one child out of three more inheritance.
This girl is your sister who never got to have a dad through no fault of her own. Can you not be a total prick to her?
You find someone, go on several dates, and then say “hey, I think we get along great, I’d really like it if we only dated each other.”
Until you do that, the general assumption is that you are both free to see other people, even though one or both of you may choose not to. It has nothing to do with people not being “relationship trained” or you not being desirable, it’s about people not knowing where they stand and having not made any commitments yet. Generally, people want to discuss boundaries and commitments and not have them assumed.
As folks have said, you need to find yourself a mind reader or get used to communicating. It may sound romantic that someone meets you and just immediately forsakes everyone else without ever talking about it, but that’s not realistic. Relationships are built on communication.
Imagine if she found her birth mother on her own and “found out” that way….
You did the right thing.
Her partner is out of line, but he's reacting to seeing the person he loves most in immense pain. It's not acceptable, but it is understandable.
Thanks for the reply. This is something I feel like I need outside perspective on because people will see things more objectively. As for Green I truly don't know why he spread those rumors. I've been with my husband for 8 years (married for 4 years in April). In all that time we've never had infidelity issues or doubts surrounding those things. I'm always open about who I'm talking to, if I hang with any guy in person I text my husband, send him pics of what I'm doing etc. I also make sure all my guy friends meet my husband and pass the vibe check. I feel like if he was ever uncomfortable he would tell me BUT I'll make sure to have this conversation with him to make sure my actions when hanging with guy friends do not make him uncomfortable.
Red lives in another state and we met him in person for the first time last year during our public wedding. Being the bride I didn't spend a lot of time with Red and no time alone with him at all. Black mentioned that maybe Green is mad at me since Green and my husband seems to be getting distant so he did it just to hurt me? Which doesn't make sense as I don't prevent my husband and Green from hanging out. I think during this whole situation is the most me and Red have talked one on one.
As for the PDA stuff that makes sense. I initially didn't say anything because I also thought it was more of a me problem. I only brought it up to Orange to clarify that if I did seem uncomfortable that night it was because of the PDA and not because I didn't want them to date (which she was convinced about). And thinking back on the whole thing I wish I did escape but Orange and Red had never been to NYC so I was their little tour guide. I thought they would feel abandoned if I left them. Also Black/and our other guy friends had prior commitments before the rave/ were hung over the next day so they couldn't hang with us the whole time.
You do bring up a good point about Green though. I'll talk to my husband about that because maybe my husband did share something with Green out of trust/vulnerability and Green weaponized it.
His choice is whether to even ask or not was what I was saying. Or just say no without asking.