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you dropped your best friend because he had sex with a girl before you even met her?
Yes it’s bad, but definitely nothing to throw an otherwise good relationship over for. I would just sit her down seriously and come at it from a “I’m not mad that you looked at my phone I have nothing to hide but I am concerned you don’t feel like you can trust me. It’ll be hot for me to move forward in this relationship unless we’re transparent w/ ea other.”
Hopefully she feels disarmed enough to come clean and explain the behavior.
Do it. You have nothing to loose and she deserves to know the truth. No one wants to be with a cheater
What is the purpose of the relationship if you're not attracted to him?
The sex y’all used to have sounds great, maybe you need to go on a date and not worry about having sex, get close to one another again and just talk and kiss it out
And I had another after I understood
But you’re putting it away when you drink with them and dismiss them as lightweights when they try to bring up your drinking
If someone is a victim of cheating, they're a victim of cheating.
When someone makes the decision to cheat, they and they alone are responsible for their actions. No one is forcing them to make that choice and other choices are always available.
So you want to be another ex in his life his next girlfriend has to worry about? That's all you'll be to him… another girl in his collection. I guarantee he doesn't have healthy relationships with all these ex-gfs
Your boyfriend doesn’t care about you.
This is why you date a lot when you're young, to test compatibility. This ain't it.
What if she had a cunnilingus “fetish” and required you to go down on her for an hour every day, maybe more than once? Up for it?
You want to try that again? This time with logic.
I mean, you’ve only known him a year and a half…
That’s brand new.
I think you’re just seeing HIM for who he is, not the honeymoon period people pleaser before then.
This is why I solidly stick to the fact that nobody should assume they know their partner until 5+ years in, as certain stages of relationships come and go.
If you think something else might be the reason like medical or drugs or otherwise, then ask him straight up and be forthcoming. The fact that you can’t bring this up honestly and straightforward after a year and a half shows that you two are nowhere near being able to communicate openly and honestly. You should be able to say “what is going on with you, you are a completely different person” straight to his face, then list reasons why.
she obviously doesnt want to go with just you so drop it
it’s 2 pm he hasn’t come back or replied
So he started this shortly after you moved in together? It really could be that he thinks he has you now. Or maybe he’s under some weird stress. Call him on it every time. Do not put up with it at all.
I mean… look my guy
I'm 27 and just graduated college in December. Your litterally fine. Everyone around me is getting engaged too. Im on 3 weddings this year alone. Admittedly I'm in a relationship too so maybe idk. But it's not too late.
The later you find your person can vary in the baggage. They might be bringing along kids or a divorce. But they also might not be.
Love usually comes when your not looking for it.
There's a big difference between walking around almost hard in front of your gf and walking around almost nude in front of her 14 yr old daughter. I honestly wouldn't have thought to have this conversation because I would have assumed that he wouldn't dress like that in front of my child. I have children, and I've dated while I've had them, I've never had to explicitly say “hey please don't walk around in nothing but “tight” underwear in front of my daughter. It's kind of a given, or at least it should be imo.
Abd the Cloud.
And 4.
Cut the guy out. Then tell your gf you are happy she confided in you
I am all for supporting your partner and working out your problems.
But girl. This ain’t that time. You are explaining to your partner with a penis what happens when you put scented lotion INTO A VAGINA- you know, the organ that is capable of absorbing a wide variety of organic and inorganic compounds- and his response is to mansplain how you should keep cleaner?!
Either get this kid in a sex-Ed class so he can figure out how to put on a fucking condom or let him go and he can give the next girl vag problems
Maybe you should focus less on the 5% and more on the fact that she basically lied to you about her real income and had no problem doing it and letting you pay more than your fair share…
Do not atrand the wedding. It will solve the Alex issue as well..
Thank you , I'm trying to move past it . It was so sudden and random felt like a stab at the heart.
Sounds as if all she wanted was a baby and your usefulness is over. If you want a reciprocal, loving relationship buddy, seems you'll have to look elsewhere.
Can she own her actions? Real change takes effort from both partners. It’s incredibly hot to avoid falling back into old habits. Is she doing therapy or anything?
Tell her NEEOWWWWW
You can do literally ✨ nothing ✨ It is her body and she is free to do what she wants with it. If it is a dealbreaker for you then that’s fine – you can break up. However don’t try and control what she does with her own body…
Just mention that it seriously bothers you that you're not going on dates, you don't feel like having sex and feel like you're not moving forward in life or growing as people. Suggest activites that you like and ask him to come with.
he thinks I’m nagging him when I bring this kind of thing up and he gets very defensive (I ask him to do dishes, help clean up, etc a lot because I kind of have to but it is “naggy” I guess)
Nothing about this is naggy, you live together, chores should be split up equally no?
Is it reasonable to ask him not to play video games a lot? I’ve brought it up jokingly before and he says it’s his hobby and he doesn’t see himself ever not gaming in his free time
I don't think that would bode well, but you need to let him know he needs to find more things, preferably things that you enjoy. He's right in saying it's a hobby, and that's a good thing but imo that's not the only hobby one should have and it's also seriously affecting your relationship so he needs to make a judgement on what's more important, you or video games.
It's sad that this is where society has taken us. People hate men so much that they look for any and every avenue to ruin their lives. I'm sorry you're going through this OP. Sounds like it's time for a long sit down with the wife to try and help her understand why this negatively impacts you and the child as well as potential ways to improve the situation. It's not her fault, and it's great that you see that, but she also needs to bear some responsibility for helping to make things less painful on your end. That's what marriage is about afterall, compromise.
Take me instead! I got a house in Brasil you are totally welcome! Also got a sailboat in the US I can take you on a tour! ?
Neither should she
You are a survivor, you have survived. Keep doing this. Keep putting your survival and that child’s well being first. Eventually, you’ll catch your break.
the jump to divorce makes me confident this is a writing exercise
You are free monkey no longer with at circus…don't get drawn back in. You can do something anonymously…using a throw away phone. But don't do anything that reveals you.
It is a really bad sign that you are scared to ask him anything after one week if living together.
Do you still want to live with him, or you are scared to ask him to move out?
If you want him to move out – give him the day (before 30 days pass) to do it, have a conversation with someone else in the house, preferably male. You can still date after if you both want to, just live separately.
If you want to try to work it out – read about tenancy in your country/state, talk with someone knowledgeable about it, you might need a landlord -tenant contract with him. Protect yourself. If he establishes residence in your house (usually 30 days) you will have very very hot time to get rid of him.
And definitely talk to him about fair division of all the daily chores, finances (separate, joined, who pays for the emergency repairs, utilities, food). Repairs – are they diy, who pays for them etc. What happens if one of you loses their job..
But really, if you are already afraid to talk to him, think twice before giving him a second chance.
Lying, cheating, toxic, manipulative. Damn if you don’t swoop her up, I will. /s
As adultery is severely frowned upon and result in discharge, he is saying that he works late and has no control over his schedule, but pretty sure he is cheating.
That’s why he doesn’t have valid excuse for the divorce.
You don't have to keep waiting on her. Just move on, anyway by the look of it, you are not a priority.