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Verona (this is my REAL name, NOT VERA OR VERONIKA !!! ), 24 y.o.
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She’s telling you her plans, she’s going to cheat
It sounds like she stopped her meds due to sexual dysfunction, and subsequently got depressed. Going back on them might cause the dysfunction again but it’s the lesser of two evils
I showered sometimes with my son when he was a little kid. My husband too. The key was that no one felt uncomfortable in those scenarios. You have every right not to feel comfortable doing something and not doing it even though your wife feels differently about it.
I don't know if she's only with you for a greencard, but you need to be realistic about the fact that it is a motivation for her. That doesn't mean she doesn't genuinely like you, but you're both very young and genuinelyreally liking someone isn't enough for a health relationship long term. Imo you are absolutely right in your rough timeline for the relationship. Just don't rush into anything.
Also, for the sake of argument let's say she is primarily in this for a greencard, do you really think she would tell you that? Do you really think she wouldn't hear you out about how it's too soon for marriage but maybe [insert compromise]? Obviously, I hope this isn't the case, but you need to be aware that people do this stuff every day. They're ruining it for the rest of us because it means you have to be a bit cynical which no one wants to be in a relationship. I really hope you and your girlfriend have a long and happy and healthy life together, but just be careful ❤️
Go see a certified financial planner. Hold back some “FU” cash and stick some in a savings account. Forget you have the bulk of it for 15 or 20 years and then never work another day in your life.
Also, don’t tell anyone, especially a potential partner.
Is this not just a cold soar ??? Confused
He's lying because he only wants you to stop.
Would you feel guilty for taking a long, hard bubble bath?
Brushing your hair?
Eating a cupcake?
Those are all self care and so is masturbation.
Show him this post.
Has he been tested on his testosterone levels that could be it right there other than that he would have to be gay or
Your friends while well meaning aren't bright if they're already painting this dude in a bad light…..
Well, we will just see about that!
When have teenagers ever been known for making good decisions?
Honestly, I think she might just be still doing it tbh. Think about it, she hadnt felt guilt once and the guilt hadnt bother her for 7 whole years??? The fact Is if she admitted then and there you could've moved on alot faster and probably would have found a way to trust someone else and maybe be in relationship with a new women by now. But no she didnt say anything for 7 years and it didnt bother her one bit how it made you feel and how you should've move on if she wanted just hooked up with other guys.
Despicable piece of shit. That’s really all I have to say.
You and the bunnies are a package deal. I wouldn't give my pets up for anyone.
Tell him to join the local neo-nazi group. Do it jokingly, of course.
So he gaslit you? My ex used to do this for no reason other than he was an ass at times. He would say I’m screaming when I’m literally using the same volume as him,
Tho I am a very quiet spoken person because I can’t regulate my voice due to haven been mute for a few years back, and he’s aware but was ignorant I believe
It’s a tactic to pin the blame or an issue on you when there isn’t one, you need to find yourself a man that can calmly state ‘I don’t feel comfortable sharing this information with you rn.’ If it’s such a big deal to keep it from you ?
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I have been with my boyfriend for six years and just found out when he travelled in November 2022 he went and had a happy ending massage – yes he knew what he was doing. I saw a search on his computer today and confronted him about it. He immediately died inside and he is now extremely stressed, grovelling and is obviously worried im going to leave him. Im pretty upset about it too.. I feel betrayed and really unsure honestly. He says he immediately regretted it and the reason why he hid it was because he knew straight away it was the wrong decision.
Im not sure what to do here. I truly believe he is sorry but he travels a lot for work and I just know that Im always going to have that nagging feeling that he might do it again. Its also made me feel really disrespected.
TDLR just found out my boyfriend had a happy ending massage while travelling. would you break it off ?
Any advice is appreciated.
Uh, yeah, this is definitely suspicious, and he shouldn't be complaining about his marriage to randos. That's kind of weird. OP, he could have honestly lied about other stuff to you before as well. Also, tbh, it's hard to believe that he was just added out of nowhere by a stranger. Usually random adds are from spam accounts in my experience, so that's also suspicious. There's no reason that he couldn't have told you that someone added him on snap and was trying to talk to him WHEN it happened INITIALLY.
Personally, I wouldn't trust him at all
How do I get her to stop asking??
You act like a grown up, and sit down to have a face to face with her about both of your expectations of the future of your relationship. Then you stop flipping stalling and get married. You know it's what she wants, you claim it's what you want. You've been together for five flipping years. What are you waiting for????
Your boyfriend made an extremely inappropriate joke to your parents. They invited him into their home and he was disrespectful. You didn’t say anything to correct his behavior in the moment. There is no apology that followed. Your dad probably thinks you don’t respect him. I’m sure he’s disappointed.
I feel him doing it in the shower will probably bother her less because it would work that way for me. Simple because it feels more like a private moment and less like a waiting for you to fall asleep and sneaking out moment. I have no reason to think this other than my own opinion. Just trying to help here.
I always felt like it happened more than once but I’ve been too scared to ask. I’m afraid of the honest answer
It's probably not just the sex. These guys probably make her feel like she's worth something unlike her useless, jealous husband.
You should be alone.
I do try to clear my head but my thoughts always go back to my ex and it tears me apart more and I just want to truly know why she dumped me. Because it's ruined my emotions
So how exactly does he expect the issue to be “resolved”? Lol. Does he expect you to somehow make a Time Machine and go back and never date him?
Or does he want you both to have memory erasing surgery so it never happened.
Sorry but he’s an idiot.
Talk to her.
I wouldn't say I'm obsessed, but my looks have been a nightmare all my life. They have only brought me pain and reject. I mean, I haven't thought twice about my nose until people started to laugh at it, for example.
That's why my boyfriend liking them feels…unsettling. I mean I know it's good but it shocks me and I just don't know how to manage that.
I don’t know if she actually has feelings for him but definitely concerning that she even picked up the phone in the first place. I think you’re probably right, thanks for the response!
And people are saying that I write like a teenager? Jesus…
Yep.
We broke up because we didn’t understand each other.
But you say you were good at communication? Just that seems off. As for the comment, it ducks she said that. Could be a lie just to hurt you, could be she a bad kisser, but what it is for sure is proof she was a crap partner. If someone’s a bad kisser, you help them, you don’t keep it to yourself and then insult them when you break up.
But anyway, what to do now, you meet someone and do a bit of kissing, go slow, and then see how they react. If they’re into it, then you can rightly ignore that comment, if they seem to pull back, check in with them, ask them if they’re comfortable and if there’s anything you can improve and go from there. If you’re open and decent about it, decent people will treat you kindly. Only asshole would be mean if you’re open to input. Also keep in mind kissing preferences vary widely. You could be the best kisser in the world and some people still might think it’s too wet or dry. So the only opinions that matters are the people kissing.
Separate your finances now. Your gf will do whatever she wants and you can too. You are right that there is no limit to what her sister will expect and there may not be a limit to what your gf is willing to do. The way I see it, you should talk once with the sister telling her that she is irresponsible and that you will never have her in your home nor will you send her money and then you should stay away from anything regarding your gf's family. It may break your gf and yourself up eventually but it may also bring some sense to your gf.
What a joke country. Men break into my house and you somehow end up arrested.
Molly, you in danger girl. he's been playing around all along.
I mean I do have a twin brother so maybe?
Cut the shit with being controlling.
She sexted him, maybe she was fucking him. You will never know for sure.
She is a cheater, leave her and don't waste any time on her.
Man what? This is 100 % real, no freaking novel or whatever. I just tried expressing myself in the best way possible for people to understand.
Looks like she tolerates the person but loves the wallet.
No they actually think I'm a murderer
Nooooooo! This is classic manipulative asshole behavior. It will never stop. I'm 55 so please take my life experience and use it to help yourself. There are great guys out there who will always treat you how you deserve to be treated. This guy will not.
Downvoting but no feedback… My genuine concern is this is how she left her ex, but I was the “new guy” at the time. We’d have a blast hanging out and over time she ended it with him and we started dating. Because she hasn’t told me anything even this guys name and just told me she’s going to yoga with another guy last second so she wasn’t technically hiding anything, I felt weird about it.
Those are all emotional responses.
You haven’t actually shown why they are wrong.
That type of thinking is what got you this relationship and probably repeating it. You need to take accountability or it will happen again.
Please ditch the guy, but keep the daughter. She’s old enough to make her own decisions. You don’t have to leave her too.
ty for being receptive to what ppl are saying rather than getting defensive. I hope its apparent that we arent trying to come for you or be cruel. You're not a bad person and you dont deserve what seems to be an emotionally abusive relationship. If you have access, I recommend you get into therapy. It can help you build up some self esteem, prioritize your needs (which is not selfish btw!), and start creating some healthier boundaries for yourself. While I dont believe in blaming the victim, it does usually fall onto the victim to be the one to make the change. Ppl will take advantage of you for as long as you let them. It sucks and its not fair but you deserve better.
I can relate to your predicament.
For myself and my own journey I found meditation, mindfulness and journalling extremely helpful. It's a practice I still use now when I recognise I am triggered and am in an emotionally slippery landscape internally. By doing these things I ground myself, recognise and gain distance and perspective on my thoughts and emotions. It then helps me realise that most of this issue is actually from my own inner self and unrelated to my partner. I always end on a self loving kindness meditation/quick mantra and am in a different space entirely. This space is more authentic and less reaching or frenzied – I often like it to the paddling of a ducks feet under water.
Hope this helps. Also note that grounding can be anything to you, even by a walk or swimming or drawing or colouring in (this was one of my first methods before I could sit and meditate and I still do it if I'm too elevated or overwhelmed). As you are anxious attached I'd avoid latching onto a person socially to contact as you're seeking a calming and grounding reflective space within yourself not just a simple reflection of your frenzied emotions or feelings wholeheartedly supported and unchallenged by a friend or family member. Be proud of recognising this and continuing to work on it! Hugs!
They are paying. But I was offering them a cheaper option. And if I can practice surgery earlier, then I can pay back earlier too. They were forcing me into med to be an investment plan anyway as their “most intelligent child” ?